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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 23 Sep 09 - 11:55 AM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 09 - 11:50 AM
Amos 23 Sep 09 - 09:18 AM
Rapparee 23 Sep 09 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 22 Sep 09 - 10:40 PM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 09 - 04:37 PM
Amos 22 Sep 09 - 04:21 PM
Acme 22 Sep 09 - 04:06 PM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 09 - 03:45 PM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 09 - 03:40 PM
Amos 22 Sep 09 - 02:10 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 09 - 01:35 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 09 - 11:46 AM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 09 - 11:32 AM
Amos 22 Sep 09 - 11:12 AM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 09 - 10:53 AM
MMario 22 Sep 09 - 09:50 AM
Rapparee 22 Sep 09 - 09:45 AM
Amos 22 Sep 09 - 09:37 AM
MMario 22 Sep 09 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 22 Sep 09 - 09:22 AM
Amos 22 Sep 09 - 01:33 AM
Janie 22 Sep 09 - 12:02 AM
Amos 21 Sep 09 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 09 - 05:17 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Sep 09 - 05:03 PM
Little Hawk 21 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM
MMario 21 Sep 09 - 01:59 PM
Acme 21 Sep 09 - 01:56 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 09 - 01:54 PM
MMario 21 Sep 09 - 01:52 PM
Amos 21 Sep 09 - 01:42 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 09 - 01:01 PM
Little Hawk 21 Sep 09 - 12:52 PM
Amos 21 Sep 09 - 12:01 PM
Acme 21 Sep 09 - 11:52 AM
Amos 21 Sep 09 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 09 - 10:33 AM
Amos 20 Sep 09 - 11:12 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 09 - 09:54 PM
Janie 20 Sep 09 - 09:37 PM
Janie 20 Sep 09 - 08:50 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 09 - 07:01 PM
Amos 20 Sep 09 - 05:14 PM
Acme 20 Sep 09 - 11:43 AM
Amos 20 Sep 09 - 11:42 AM
Amos 19 Sep 09 - 11:40 PM
Acme 19 Sep 09 - 10:18 PM
Amos 19 Sep 09 - 06:50 PM
Rapparee 19 Sep 09 - 06:17 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 11:55 AM

MOM, get your sweater and lets go for a walk! Fall is here! Not just on the calendar, but it feels like it (sometimes it takes a while in N. Texas, and summer might still decide to come back for a while). The dogs are so frisky! It feels great! Come on, Gluon, lets take MOM for a spin around the neighborhood!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 11:50 AM

Right. And we have a very low tolerance for condescension. Keep that in mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 09:18 AM

Little Hawk and I were just having a long talk, Rapaire, about condescension, and retribution, and the current 15% unemployment rate amongst PLains Indians warriors, and some plan whereby we might address all three at once.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 08:57 AM

Well Mom, I guess Amos and Lil have been out riding around trying to find the sunset. Probably rode North or were confused by streetlights -- you know how easy it is to confuse those two. And you know how well they ride, sitting easy in the saddle until they have to put another quarter in for another ride.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 10:40 PM

I propose that we shorten his name to a nickname. Hereafter, we shall call him "L'il Hawk" or just "Lil" for really short. Kinda like Red Ryder's Indian sidekick Little Beaver, L'il Hawk shall be the faithful Indian companion of Amos. Amos and Lil shall ride the range together, righting wrongs and shooting the guns out of the hands of bad guys (no gal ever goes bad, and if they do they have a heart of gold and repent), only to ride off into the sunset at the end as someone asks, "What the fuck has been going on around here?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 04:37 PM

We have ways of dealing with you white-eyes....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 04:21 PM

Plains Indians, huh? All Muslims, weren't they? Dedicated to the overthrow of the Yewnided States? Huh? And doan give me that "not first or last" bull, cuz I can read, see. Every single post over your signature--your LEGAL signature, I might add--is headed "Little Hawk" in THAT ORDER. Always the word Little comes first, then the word Hawk. Letme pointout to you that that is what "first name" and "last name" MEAN, dummy!! You try an' tell meyou ain't got no last name? What are you, unAmerican??? Like them Indians? Damn terrorists...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 04:06 PM

You take that back about MOM wearing Depends! She's been doing her kegels for years, and (having just re-read the naughty "Eskimo Nell" in the context of another thread) is amply strong enough to keep her bladder under control, even if she isn't breaking solid glass objects with her arse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 03:45 PM

By the way, "Little" and "Hawk" are not first and last names. "Little Hawk" is a single name in the Plains Indian tradition. Plains Indians didn't have surnames in the old days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 03:40 PM

LOL!!! Sounds about right. Maybe I should risk all, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 02:10 PM

GEtaway musical frolics were severely disrupted by the arrival at the West River, MD retreat of four large black SUVs which disgorged eleven assorted Federal agents of large and beefy demeanour, and one disheveled looking prisoner who said his name was Little, and who insisted he was a registered participant. The agents, contrariwise, conceived said Little, last name Hawk, aka George, was in fact a terrorist and had been apprehended crossing international borders in the back of a Good Humour van heading into Michigan for supplies, where he was wearing a popsicle costume. Investigations are still pending, but Mr. Hawk did manage to substantiate his story by singing a Dylan number, "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue", upon which forty-five of the participant folkies began to divide into seven amorphous groups and enter into a hot debate as to whether or not his performance constituted folk music. The agents eventually retreated in dismay and confusion, promising to come back with reinforcements from their Smithsonian division.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 01:35 PM

Go to a Certain Adress on Yonge Street and ask for "Mister Kim." Tell him what you want to do, give him the money he asks, and he will see you safely to Getaway and back. (Do NOT ask for "Miss Kim" or "Missus Kim" or "Miz Kim" -- she's there too, but provides "special services" involving leather masks and birch "switches" to politicians).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 11:46 AM

Fiddle dee dee. Just do like all those illegal Northern aliens do: find a backwoods road across the border and take it. Granted, you have to escape the watching Predators and the land mines but that if the "snow birds" can do it so can you.

Or just tell everyone you're smuggling guns in. No one will believe THAT and they'll leave you alone because they'll think you're nuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 11:32 AM

Yeah, I guess. My passport is not up to date right now, so I won't be visiting the USA for the time being. That border's not as friendly as it once was.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 11:12 AM

Well, that agreement occurred long since, LH. It's just not the acclaim _you_ think he deserves, but we all know you are delusional on this subject. I don't know if you really like folk music, or are just a Dylanophile, but I bet you could learn to love the Getaway. You ought to try it one year.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 10:53 AM

Addiction sounds about right to me. I'm not coming until you all agree to give William Shatner the respect and worship he so clearly deserves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 09:50 AM

It's more an infection, or addiction, rather then an innoculation, wouldn't you say?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 09:45 AM

Ah, so if Barky and I showed up, we wouldn't understand? Is that what you're saying?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 09:37 AM

Rapaire:

No-one expects you. First of all, you have never been fully inoculated with Getaway bug, which happens on one's first trip. Second, being a brass player, you might not understand...

(Ducks as a badly flung mute passes near ear and exits stage left).



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 09:33 AM

I'm beginning to think they conspire against me....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 09:22 AM

I'm not coming to Getaway again this year either. I've got Big Important Things to do instead of getting drunk in some Maryland flophouse, engage in drinking "games", carouse with loose women, and stay up until all hours of the night singing bawdy songs while drinking cheap whiskey while treading the rosy road to perdition. No, I'll stay home and care for poor old Mom, changing her Depends and preparing her weak tea and toast and helping her change her will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 01:33 AM

Yeah--three years running! Not as if there were no notice!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 12:02 AM

I ain't speakin' to brother Leo. His neices and nephews mean more to him than his own sister, or he'd be coming to the Getaway this year. (Not!)

And, uugghhhhhghhh! AOL has turned a ghastly orange for fall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 11:21 PM

Toasting ordinary bread actually does something strange to the entangled quanta in its makeup, and makes them into hard links that can be used as a sounding board for the right technology from multi-light-years away. The problem is getting a Rosetta Stone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 05:17 PM

If you did, you'd be toast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 05:03 PM

Hi, Mom!

I was eating a piece of toast this morning, and realized that the pattern of air holes in the toast looked remarkably like the Hodge 301 star cluster in the Tarnatula Nebula in The Large Magellanic Cloud. I'm sure it's someone from someplace in Hodge 301 trying to communicate with me. What I'm wondering is whether the message was sent using conventional radio waves, which would take roughly 180,000 years to reach Earth, or whether toast-based communication is instantaneous. Perhaps toast is immune to relativistic constraints. If that turns out to be the case, could we build toast-based spacecraft that can zip from one part of the universe to another in a matter of miliseconds?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM

Liechtenstein is the real hidden power in this world. People worry about China. They obsess about Iran. They fear the might of the USA. All of them are nothing next to Liechtenstein..."the Sleeping Croissant".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:59 PM

I've been lurking; and of course it's h*ll-month at w*rk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:56 PM

We haven't seen Leo for a long longer than we haven't seen you, LH. Welcome back, MM.

I was reading a New York Times article about a couple who live in a re-purposed Brooklyn funeral home. He's an artist. Jean-Marie Grenier has some beautiful work coming out of the basement, where they used to store the caskets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:54 PM

Yeah. Get to work doin' what Biggy told ya to. Gotta CRUSH those in San Diego. Remember, like Biggy says, them who ain't with us are agin us. 'Course, he says it in German.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:52 PM

Thirty one score and 9 pages ago King Khandyu brought forth upon the Mudcat a new thread......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:42 PM

Been out gallivanting, have ye? About time you showed up. Get to work, and never mind the hangover.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:01 PM

L(ichtenstiener) Hawk...hmmmmmmm.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 12:52 PM

I've been away. Did you miss me terribly? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 12:01 PM

Except for occasional events I don't -- but if I do a couple of aspirin seems to do it for me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 11:52 AM

You should, if you drink at all. It's the Tylenol to avoid if you have more than two drinks a day. Those Lichtensteiners know this, so they're planning to corner the ibuprophen market.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 11:46 AM

YEah, they're no big deal--they're making their big play in Ibuprofen, and I never touch the stuff.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 10:33 AM

Ah, but are you safe from the Lichtensteiner drug cartel that is moving into San Diego? Its boss, "Don" Franz Hermann "Biggy" Kleinkopf, is not loathe to use anything, up to and including small nuclear weapons, on those who oppose him. He is the "Capo di Capoes" too, having taken out all of the rival capo makers in Europe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 11:12 PM

Janie:

There's no shit in the area I travel in. There's a huge tourist industry in Tijuana, and the main corridor of it is Avenida Revolucion. Every third building is a pharmacia, every second one a leather goods and novelties store and the third one over is a fun margarita bar. In between, dental clinics. The heavy stuff you have read about is over on the other side of town to the east, or inland. As ide from a slightly heavier sprinkling of federales with lightweight machine guns here and there, I have seen no signs of the troubles in the area I go through. My dentist is two blocks west of Avenida Revollucion, on a busy downtown avenue called Ninoes Heroes (The Avenue of the Heroic Children, named after a historic episode). So to answer your question, I feel perfectly safe.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 09:54 PM

Ah, well, I'd best go check on the laundry, Mom. You raised me up to be clean and tidy and I guess 50% ain't too bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 09:37 PM

Been reading up on assorted bear species, since I'm sure ya'll are burning to know what I have been up to today.

And trying to convince myself I am not developing bronchitis. And getting used to taking Mobic, which is really helping with arthritic pain and mobility, while I wonder about what it is doing in interaction with some other stuff I take to my liver and platelets.

Serious question, Amos. how safe do you feel in your trips south of the border right now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 08:50 PM

And Bob is not?

Or is it simply that Bob's your uncle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 07:01 PM

Well, I got Deckman and wife outa the house. His wife's a lovely person.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 05:14 PM

So, um, he's not using a computer? Doesn't like them much? Thinks "google" is a large numerical suffix?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 11:43 AM

A friend emailed his dismay at not finding a good biographical obit for Mary Travers. "Do you suppose Mudcat is discussing her death?"

Does the Pope wear a beanie?

I sent him the link.

Lovely day, MOM! Time to shake off that hangover and roll out of bed. The sunshine is beautiful and the temperature is great!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 11:42 AM

Oh, fie on he who would his Mom deny
ANd let a page of time go slowly by,
And say he did not know.
Who'd watched his heart untouched as she declined
Hearing the ruthless ticks of time,
Bringing her low
And shed no tear nor write no post,
Watching our Mom become a ghost!
It cries for you, who loves he rmost
To save her now.


Malathion Whimnsey III
Herbal Decoction and Lines
Roman Attention Press 1866


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 11:40 PM

I have no idea. We got excellent medical and dental care when we lived down near Guadalajara, but I don't know what the deal was.

When I write sloppy, typo-poxed posts like that I get SO embarrassed. I should type v-e-r-y- s-l-o-w-l-y.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 10:18 PM

I heard about Mexican insurance being very reasonable and the care good. Have you considered it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 06:50 PM

Oh, good Rapaire, that fgleetly sets aright our Mother in distress. Oh,. kind, oh dauntless, oh brave, nay, oh fine Rapaire for such gallantry to display.

This morning I was again striding through the noisy midden of a Mexican city returning from a dental check and removal of the stitched where the implant rests. The magic of flashing black Mexican eyes in old creased faces and young unflawed ones cannot be gain said. Muscled soldiers with rifles, full breasted young mothers with ninas in arm, the bewildered and aged and the young and hopeful, ebb and fglow through these streets like salt water ripples combining into a tide. Here you can buy anything--hand-tooled belts, hand-knotted hammocks, plaster saints, boots and holsters, sombreros, any drug ever sold over any counter, and many under, the best of liquors and the worst of them, margarita to drink and even humans for companionship. Everything is for sale, but the smiles and the laughter, they are all free.

The pedestrian line across th eborder is hundreds of yards long and thousands of souls strong, each with a story. Anglos, Hispanics, Africans, Middle-easterns, AMerican Indians and Indian Hindi, all wander across this border in a day, one direction or the other. Some of them cross effortlessly--the obvious citizens, the ones with passports and recognizable middle-class values. Others are looked askance, and a few sent off for secondary questions before they get to walk the skybridge across the border, landing in the land of McDonald's (the first one is only a dozen yards away when you come out into California) and the huge blue welcoming sign that tells one and all, without condition, "Welcome to California". Here, that still means much.


I am home now, converting my front plants from sprinklers to drip. The water rates will be rising again.,

q


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 06:17 PM

Mother dearest! Hie thee to the top of the heap post haste!


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Mudcat time: 19 October 1:27 AM EDT

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