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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 25 Jul 09 - 02:06 PM
Amos 25 Jul 09 - 11:42 AM
Acme 25 Jul 09 - 11:40 AM
Rapparee 24 Jul 09 - 01:28 AM
Amos 24 Jul 09 - 12:09 AM
Rapparee 23 Jul 09 - 07:33 PM
Amos 23 Jul 09 - 03:17 PM
Acme 23 Jul 09 - 12:50 PM
Amos 23 Jul 09 - 12:49 PM
Amos 23 Jul 09 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 09 - 12:26 PM
Amos 23 Jul 09 - 10:22 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Jul 09 - 09:54 AM
Amos 22 Jul 09 - 11:24 PM
Janie 22 Jul 09 - 11:00 PM
Amos 22 Jul 09 - 06:59 PM
Amos 22 Jul 09 - 03:19 PM
Acme 22 Jul 09 - 02:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Jul 09 - 01:52 PM
MMario 22 Jul 09 - 12:15 PM
Amos 22 Jul 09 - 12:08 PM
Rapparee 22 Jul 09 - 06:15 AM
Amos 22 Jul 09 - 12:16 AM
Rapparee 21 Jul 09 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 21 Jul 09 - 10:08 PM
Janie 21 Jul 09 - 08:09 PM
Acme 21 Jul 09 - 07:37 PM
Amos 21 Jul 09 - 07:02 PM
Rapparee 21 Jul 09 - 04:39 PM
Amos 21 Jul 09 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 21 Jul 09 - 09:09 AM
Janie 20 Jul 09 - 10:07 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 09 - 09:44 PM
Amos 20 Jul 09 - 07:31 PM
Amos 20 Jul 09 - 07:26 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 09 - 06:54 PM
Amos 20 Jul 09 - 06:05 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 09 - 05:31 PM
Amos 20 Jul 09 - 05:23 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 09 - 04:14 PM
Amos 20 Jul 09 - 01:50 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 09 - 01:10 PM
Acme 20 Jul 09 - 12:29 PM
MMario 20 Jul 09 - 11:48 AM
Amos 20 Jul 09 - 11:42 AM
Rapparee 20 Jul 09 - 08:52 AM
Janie 20 Jul 09 - 12:54 AM
Acme 20 Jul 09 - 12:28 AM
Rapparee 19 Jul 09 - 09:35 PM
Rapparee 19 Jul 09 - 12:13 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 02:06 PM

You are, as I have said several times before, facing the stubborn, autocratic, arbitrary and whimsical typographical idiosyncrasy of one of the standard dictionaries of the Irish language. I might also have used "Tory" "Highwayman" or, if it had not already be registered, "Raparree."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 11:42 AM

The Cat has returned, it couldn't stay away. Howsomeever, the literate and charming amputeeoperee known as Raparee is still adamant in his refusal to use his proper name, and insists on using Rapayre, spelled similarly to "repair" which is what he hopes happened to his arm.

But you can bet he won't write any perfumed thank-you notes or leave any voice-mails saying "Hey, Doc!! Thanks for reepareeing my arm!!" It just don't stand to reason.

Lacking such rationale it is clear in the matter of his name we are facing stubborn, autocratic, arbitrary and whimsical typographical idiosyncrasy.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 11:40 AM

I hope your head cleared while MOM and all of the rest of Mudcat was away most of yesterday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 01:28 AM

Amos still cannot comprehend that the name is pronounced "rap-a-ree" and not "rap-air". But he has been so nice, so charming, so wonderful, that I will, for him, change it.

I'll change it to "Orange Month" and he won't rhyme it with anything in English.

I am awake at this ungodly late hour (usually I have long ago said my prayers and trundled off to bed like a good boy) because my shoulder hurts. In spite of T-4 and hydrocodone. I'm also hungry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 12:09 AM

The Ballad of Rotoar Cuffe


Oh, lack and a day, for Bold Rapaire,
For he has gotten older,
And now the years have left a tear
Upon his older shoulder.

And he has to the surgeon gone,
And asked of doctors many,
And all have offered him their knives
In promise of many a penny.

And nay, he cried and no, he swears,
I bid you still your urging,
For I will be both old and weak
Before I come to a surgeon.

ANd he has fenced and he has danced
And typed him much and vainly oh,
Until the day when the piper called
And his shoulder was most painly, oh.

Then Bold Rapaire to the surgeon goes
Pray heal me of this hurting, oh!
I ye shall heal but ye shall feel
My blade both sharp and certain oh!!

And the surgeon looks over his shoulder
To see who was to pass there, oh!
ANd he cried high, and he cried low,
Now turn on him the gas there oh!

And Rapaire he has fallen still
And into deadly sleep, oh!
And into his arm went the surgeon blade
And he cut him wide and deep, oh!

Then he did sew him back again
And When he came to feeling, oh,
Said "Now I give you back your arm,
With herbs and pills for healing, oh!

And you shall rest in a feather bed
With pillows of great sizes,
And under your arm and around your head
Shall be placed these strange devices.

And you shall cry and you shall faint
And curse these strange devices
ANd every day ere the cock doth sleep
You shall do these exercises!

Go out from here, now bold Rapaire
You'll heal as well as any, oh!
And never again to the doctor come
To argue over a penny, oh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 09 - 07:33 PM

People in black robes...black candles on skulls...the horror...the horror...black draperies...the screams from the other rooms...the blood on the floor....

Actually, I have a CD and photos if anyone is interested. The doc said it wasn't the worst he'd ever seen, but it was right up there in the running.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 09 - 03:17 PM

He's probably in Paul Revere mode about now--dreaming about replacement body parts and hollering "Two arms!! Two arms!!"

Thank you, at least, for waking up, old son. It was the least you could do.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jul 09 - 12:50 PM

Look! He's awake, and typing.

What do you remember, Rapaire? Anything?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 09 - 12:49 PM

By god, he TYPED!!   Well done, Manne of Bookes!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 09 - 12:48 PM

By now our Good Bookmeister is home cussing and hurting, I suspect. Every impulse to pick up something has to be constrained and rechanneled to the other arm, and turning over in bed hurts like hell. Not only that but he is about to start a physical therapy regime which is a pure-dee caterwauling, razor-clawed Missouri-bred pain in the ass.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 09 - 12:26 PM

Yeah, and mine too.

The last thing I heard was "This is the most painful surgery we do" and a log, evil laugh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 09 - 10:22 AM

Use this as your bookmark's HTML;

http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=59418&messages=30429&page=1&desc=yes&RequestTimeout=500

and you won't get the failed timeouts. But something has changed in the server responsiveness over the last week or so.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jul 09 - 09:54 AM

Good morning, Mom! Boy, you sure are getting hard to wake up! I had to knock on your door five times!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 09 - 11:24 PM

My God!! I never looked at it that way!! Do you suppose Rapaire is really nothing more than a thread on the Mudcat????


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 22 Jul 09 - 11:00 PM

Coinsidence or something more significant that MOM has become increasingly slow and unavailable as Rap has approached the time of his "gassing?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 09 - 06:59 PM

Alas, Rapaire, alas, alas,
Taken from life by a passing gas,
Deep in the darkness, swimming free
Like a sperm in singularity.

Long has it been, since he was a sperm,
And now we sigh, and wait, and yearn
For him to once again return,
AS he became when he divided,
Doubled up and multiplieded.

Shoulder the burden, shoulder the pain
Would that it all were new again!
Now through the hole the cutter's blade
Into the rotor-cuff invades,

Now comes the needle, and the thread
Binding the muscles that turn his head
Sewing the ligaments, lean and frayed
That once his noble gestures made,
When he controlled a flashing blade.

Now let the healing slow come on,
The exercises cruel and wan,
The limits of each smallest reach
Like gray whales stranded on the beach.

Alas, alas, for dear Rapaire,
Who once like lightning did declare!
On every whimsy, posts would linger;
But now, he types with half his fingers.

PErhaps he'll fail to post at all!
His voice abandon Mother's hall!
His light abandon all our eyes?
Who shall we use to plagiarize?

Let him grow stronger, is our prayer,
Through the long summer, sure repair
Grow strong and firm, and neatly knit,
We really need his fine Bull Shit.

Winston Sympatico Adrenaline Jr.
Tragic Chemistry and other Splurge
West Miami Beach, 2002


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 09 - 03:19 PM

Sigh. How is it that all I get out of this rootin' tootin' librarian is stuff I don't want or stuff I don't need?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 09 - 02:47 PM

Amos, if you play your cards right, you can sneak into Rap's room before he's fully awake and have him sign a form that lets you have all of that bright red carpet from the basement that is stacked in the back of the garage after they pulled it up. That, plus a buried freezer, and maybe a bucket of golf balls, is a pretty darned impressive bequest from this rootin' tootin' libarian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jul 09 - 01:52 PM

It's sorta like my dear old mother used to tell me: "Son, into each life, a poophead will come. Someday, while you're just minding your own business, someone will tap you on the shoulder and, when you turn to face him, he'll say, 'Hi! I'm your poophead!' It's unavoidable. It happens to everyone. How do you think I met your father?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Jul 09 - 12:15 PM

we may have finally established the limits of natural growth for a thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 09 - 12:08 PM

Do well, amigo; here at home we will shoulder your burden while you deburr your shoulder.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 09 - 06:15 AM

You can have your pick of the buried freezers Amos, or even both of them.

Now they are coming for me.

Adieu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 09 - 12:16 AM

If you can tell the difference.

Rapaire, I have always treated you justly, and only been a poophead when you really needed a poophead in your life. Surely you can agree with that.

So leave me your guns, your trumpet, and one of your buried freezers, okay?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 09 - 10:30 PM

Janie can have my chemistry set and Bee-Dubya can have my modeling clay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 09 - 10:08 PM

Dearest Mother,

In a few hours they will come for me. I will rendered unconscious and then I will be filled full of holes -- I suppose they think it's more humane that way. I don't blame those who do this thing; they are only doing what they are ordered to do. Remember that my last thoughts will be of you and the sibs.

And Mom: Let no man (or woman) write my epitaph until MOAB has taken her rightful place among the nations of the Earth.

With Love,
Rapaire


PS: Give my slinky to Stilly because Amos is just a big poop-head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Jul 09 - 08:09 PM

Yep, MOM is getting old, fat and slow. This is the first time today she didn't time out on me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jul 09 - 07:37 PM

MOM has been a little harder to reach this week. But I've been busy, so haven't tried as often as I might.

I'm dreaming html and styles and whatnot these days. Almost finished the design on some pages for work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 09 - 07:02 PM

You are just lucky that my perfect limerick concerning your emergence from the anesthesiologist happened to be perfected at a time when Max wasn' t accepting MOAB posts, or your face would be so red.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 09 - 04:39 PM

That's something she made up! There wasn't anyone around at the time! I checked very, very carefully.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 09 - 10:36 AM

Seems Janie not only knows her but saw you emerging from her...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 09 - 09:09 AM

Hey, that's my gas passer: Annie Thesia! You know her?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 10:07 PM

I feel so much better knowing that MMario was weeping over the dishes. Pisses me off, though, that he set that night's dishes aside in a pan to mold while awaiting my return.

Don't tell any of the family secrets when emerging from the anesthesia, Rap. Otherwise, we will have to do what we can to make sure you never wake up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 09:44 PM

Neither were most poets. Those who were, weren't poets. I mean, can you picture Keats waddling down the streets of Rome?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 07:31 PM

I mean, as FAST as ever. I am sure you are not really fat.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 07:26 PM

And with your slick computer set up, you should be able to steal poems from long-forgotten poets almost as fat as ever!!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 06:54 PM

I can still shoot pistols and supported rifles as well as fence right handed....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 06:05 PM

Ah, woe, woe. But be oif good cheer. You'll be out of there before you know it. Oncer you are, there is a long slow process of rebuilding and re-strengthening, which is a Royal PITA but which you must undertake with courage and optimism.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 05:31 PM

Yes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 05:23 PM

Is this your shoulder repair, then? You didn't mention why you were intoning the time-tag.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 04:14 PM

Betcha mine's gonna hurt more than yours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 01:50 PM

A week from next Thursday, Mom....a week from next Thursday!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 01:10 PM

The day after tomorrow, Mom, the day after tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 12:29 PM

Sounds like a good weekend!

It's July 20 in North Texas and it is a heavily overcast rainy day. (It didn't manage "cool," but anything that isn't "fuckin' hot" is good!) I'm making note of this because a day such as this in July in North Texas is truly as rare as hens' teeth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 11:48 AM

well! It *was* her turn to do the dishes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 11:42 AM

Janie has NO idea of the weeping, the moaning, the gnashing of teeth, the chewing of pillowcases, that her long absence induced in some of her siblings. Not missed!! I should say she was!! Why, the house nearly shook to death with people wandering around after hours bemoaning her absence!! We're all just too proud to say so, is all.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 08:52 AM

Good morning, fair Mater! I hope that you slept as well as I and that your dreams were all of wonder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 12:54 AM

Hi MOM.

Doesn't look like I was much missed, but that's ok - I wasn't much missing anything or anybody either. Nice, low-key week on the Eastern Shore at Sister Annie's. Did a little kayaking in Assateague Sound while Annie taught Sum Yung Sun the rudiments of windsurfing.

Went to see a rather eclectic mix of movies ("Transformers" - awful, but as the Sun said, the whole point is robots and lots of explosions and fight scenes, and there were plenty of all that so he was happy, "Public Enemies", excellent cinematography and very good acting, and the latest Harry Potter - Well-done, but not enjoyable. As the story matured and became darker, I enjoyed reading them less, and so did not enjoy the last two books nearly as much as the earlier books, so it is not surprising that I also did not enjoy this latest movie as much.)

Also a day trip to Smith Island, (very nice, and would like to go back and stay a few days in a B&B with another grown-up,), a community crab and clambake at Crisfield and a very fun and relaxing Sunday cruising country roads, historic sites and State Parks in Annie's 1993 Saab convertible. Nice to drive a fine handling car for a change.

Actually read a novel cover-to-cover in three days, which I haven't had the time or concentration to do in years. Reynolds Price The Promise of Rest. I had read the first two books of the trilogy of the Mayfield family many years ago, when I still lived in West Virginia, and the scene of all three of the novels is the area in which I have lived in North Carolina for the past 20+ years, so I found it quite satisfying to finish up the series with a geographic and anthropological sense of place. (If you aren't familiar with Reynolds Price, I highly recommend his novels. Complex and richly psychologically realistic characters and lives.)

Also a delightful evening at a regular Thursday evening date Annie has with a couple of friends where she plays fiddle, Marion plays hammer dulcimer and Charlie plays guitar and banjo, and an evening with just Annie and me making music together.

The absolute best times were on Annie's back porch, with Annie and I sharing and swapping funny family stories with Sum Yung Sun, and deep belly laughs all around.

Also did a little plumbing. Both Annie and Sum Yung Sun sleep walk. One of them managed to break the bolts on the tank to the toilet in the main bathroom and also turned off the water to the tank, presumably after observing water pouring through the bolt holes at the bottom of the tank while still asleep.   

Under Annie's able direction, we reattached the tank the following evening, and decided we would make an effective plumbing duo, mainly because she is right-handed and I am left-handed, she knows what she is doing, and I can follow directions.

And now, back to real life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jul 09 - 12:28 AM

Ooooo--read that last couple of posts after a long day and a glass of wine and it is quite a good chuckle! And Chongo is being so, well, civilized.

Hmmmm. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 09 - 09:35 PM

Oh, Mom, thank god you're still semi-sober.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 09 - 12:13 PM

Neither is as pleasant or delightful as meeting her in person. Not only is she pleasing to the eye, she is a triple black belt in twaekwondo, jui-jitsu, and kendo. An ex-Marine, she revamped the Marines' combat training and then, upon discharge, became a smoke jumper. That led to a career as a Park Ranger, where she not only preserved the Cascades single-handedly, she put the bend in the Big Bend. Although she won't, in her modesty, admit it, she is a dead shot with any small arm and can both throw and use a knife to deadly effect. She is also a highly regarded author and painter, missing the Pulitzer in 2007 by just the slightest amount and the Nobel in 2001 the by the same. Her painting and sculpture (eschewing the lost wax method she sculpts directly to the bronze) are on exhibit in many European galleries and museums.


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