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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jun 09 - 04:51 PM
Amos 01 Jun 09 - 04:05 PM
Acme 01 Jun 09 - 04:05 PM
Acme 01 Jun 09 - 12:58 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jun 09 - 12:16 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 09 - 08:47 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jun 09 - 07:20 AM
Little Hawk 01 Jun 09 - 01:18 AM
Acme 01 Jun 09 - 01:16 AM
Little Hawk 01 Jun 09 - 12:49 AM
Rapparee 31 May 09 - 09:18 PM
Janie 31 May 09 - 07:29 PM
Acme 31 May 09 - 07:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 May 09 - 07:09 PM
Janie 31 May 09 - 07:06 PM
Amos 31 May 09 - 06:45 PM
Janie 31 May 09 - 06:39 PM
Acme 31 May 09 - 02:35 PM
Little Hawk 31 May 09 - 11:31 AM
Amos 31 May 09 - 11:03 AM
Rapparee 31 May 09 - 09:46 AM
Acme 31 May 09 - 02:12 AM
Amos 31 May 09 - 12:25 AM
Janie 31 May 09 - 12:20 AM
Janie 30 May 09 - 10:18 PM
Janie 30 May 09 - 10:15 PM
Rapparee 30 May 09 - 10:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 May 09 - 06:56 PM
Little Hawk 30 May 09 - 06:14 PM
Acme 30 May 09 - 06:05 PM
Rapparee 30 May 09 - 02:59 PM
Little Hawk 30 May 09 - 12:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 May 09 - 11:47 AM
Amos 30 May 09 - 10:58 AM
Acme 30 May 09 - 01:01 AM
Little Hawk 29 May 09 - 11:17 PM
Janie 29 May 09 - 10:29 PM
Little Hawk 29 May 09 - 06:44 PM
Amos 29 May 09 - 06:36 PM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 05:02 PM
Amos 29 May 09 - 04:41 PM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 04:12 PM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 02:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 May 09 - 02:34 PM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 02:03 PM
MMario 29 May 09 - 01:51 PM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 12:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 May 09 - 12:52 PM
Amos 29 May 09 - 11:31 AM
Amos 29 May 09 - 11:16 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 04:51 PM

Saw a bumper sticker this morning that said "My dachshund is smarter than your honor student."

Must be makin' honor students pretty damned stupid nowadays. I've got compost that's smarter than a dachshund.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 04:05 PM

You have to forgive her; she was enthused about joining the preservation and conservation movement, and was focusing on the plight of the olgs. She had a scheme to revive the species using gene technology, and to this end talked her parents into fronting the money to erect an olg cabin. But before the Center for the Preservation of Such was half begun, it was overrun with politicians trying to be born there.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 04:05 PM

(Not to be confused with "For Shane")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 12:58 PM

Penelope Rutledge has naughty pine olgs on her house? For Shame!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 12:16 PM

Penelope Rutledge has naughty pine panelling on her bedroom walls at the new chalet she recently had built in the Italian Alps.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 08:47 AM

Sure! As my Aunt Tilly used to say, "Waste not, want not." Ergo, if you want not, you'll waste not. You must differentiate between "not" and "knot" of course. They're two entirely different things. I knew some lumberfolk who never wasted a knot. They had a huge pile of them near the sawmill. Never let even one go. Folks would come around and ask them, "You do have a knot, do you not?" and they'd reply, "Not for your sort." You see, they were hoping for a resurgence in the popularity of knotty pine for furniture, wall covering, and so on and they stood ready to make a fortune when it happened. It didn't; instead their entire collection (which they stored in a depression in the ground called the "knot hole") was destroyed in the Great Earthquake of 1986. A fault line moved the earth right in line with the knot hole and all of the knots sank and were not ever seen again. But the owners didn't care, because they knew they had wasted not a knot and so they wanted not a knot. Of course, some folks said they were knot nuts which lead to confusion, but I shall not go into that right now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 07:20 AM

Okay then, can we waste not?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 01:18 AM

Certainly not! It's impossible to waste nothing. It would have to be there in the first place before you could waste it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 01:16 AM

Nothing goes to waste around here, does it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 12:49 AM

Olgs are no good at all for making rafts with, but they made for some terrific sport when it came to hunting and they were dee-licious when roasted!!! It's no wonder the poor things got driven to extinction before the middle of the 20th century. The last Olg ever seen in these parts was confined in a cruddy zoo south of Sudbury and put down after it trampled one of its feeders to death one day. The idiots had no idea that the Olg had every right to protest the slop they were feeding it! Olgs had a very delicate palate and would not eat anything that wasn't 100% organic and fresh.

They should have put the zoo staff down instead and freed the Olg. The fools.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 09 - 09:18 PM

I grew up in Mark Twain/Tom Sawyer country and I've never, ever, seen a raft made from olgs. Way back before I was born they used to hunt them for their pelts, but the olgs were pretty much extinct before I was born, at least around there. I remember sitting in the beer garden outside Pauline's one time time, talking about olg hunting with Sam (he was in town on an up-river swing to Lacrosse) and he told me that his old girlfriend Becky's dad, Judge Thatcher, one time shot an olg that measured better'n 12 feet nose to tail tip, but it had dried some in getting it home so it was probably about 15 or 16 feet "on the hoof" so to speak. About that time it was Sam's turn with Pauline, so I finished his beer for him and went on home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 09 - 07:29 PM

And then catch one with your bare hands for supper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 May 09 - 07:27 PM

Are you being koi, BWL?

I have an urban creek in my back yard. As far as I know there are no abandoned shopping carts washed into this stretch of it, but at any of the major street crossings all sorts of crap has been thrown into it. It does very well with wildlife all things considered, but the humans have not made all stretches of this water a thing of beauty. Developers treat drainages and creeks like no-mans-land and after dredging and shaping they look like napalm hit. This is an unaltered section of the creek through the village, and I will fight to keep it that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 May 09 - 07:09 PM

Or you could come to my place take a few laps around the pond in the paddleboat. Then you could fall overboard and let the koi nuzzle you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 09 - 07:06 PM

Ain't good creeks grand places to mess about in and around?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 May 09 - 06:45 PM

Hey, Still, you could make one Tom Sawyer style outta olgs and what not and then sit on it with a cool drink in hand. Heaven!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 09 - 06:39 PM

Hey MOM, the hummers finally found my feeder! Gotta go tell 'em on the bird thread.

Bye!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 May 09 - 02:35 PM

It would be nice to have a kayak for a cool excursion right now. It's heating up here in the yard in Texas. I should get a raft or something for the creek, if for no other reason than I could pick up trash I can't get from the bank and don't want to wade in the water, it's several feet deep but I'm not sure how deep. Or have any idea about what's accumulated under there to step on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 May 09 - 11:31 AM

That sounds rather similar to the methods the authorities use to subdue hosers such as our good friend Shane who have gotten drunk and disorderly and run amok in North Ontario, 'round about the Sudbury and Blind River areas and on up to Wawa and Kapuskasing. They don't use a muzzle on them, though. I'm thinking that it would be a good idea if they did.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 May 09 - 11:03 AM

The process for capturing one for veterinary treatment is quite amusing. Five volunteers walk into the compound carry seven-foot poles to make themselves look bigger, and they slowly herd the target into a separate compound, close the gate and then pin down the recipient of their benevolence with y-forked poles, one at neck and one at haunch. Then they cover his/her eyes to calm him, slip a muzzle on, and do their medical repair. No anaesthesia. When done they do a careful reverse of each step.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 09 - 09:46 AM

Maybe you could install a wolf instead of a smoke detector.

I had a wolf in my backyard a couple months ago. As I went out the front door to the let the "dog" out I ran into the people from Fish & Game. I am quite happy to have seen the wolf and even happier not to have met him/her personally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 May 09 - 02:12 AM

You know, there's something wrong with that smoke detector picture. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 May 09 - 12:25 AM

In the wilds of eastern San Diego county, where the Cuyamacas start their climb to the high crests that protect San Diego from the fierce desert lands to the east, there are deep and high pine covered mountains, and a quaint gold rush town named Julian. About twenty miles outside of Julian is a rambling ranch of many acres which is reached by turning off of State 79 on to the KQ Ranch road, and then making a hard right just before you get to the KQ Ranch. From there, the road is dirt and boulder up to the top of a rise and down the other side. There, nestled in a sprawling valley of several hundreds of acres, is found the ranch house which is the nerve center of the California Wolf Center where a close friend is learning to become a docent. We made our way hither this morning and had a delightful time learning about the fate of wolves and the efforts to preserve those wh are endangered. These people maintain an Ambassador pack of Alaskan wolves whom we got to visit while they fed on scattered chicken and buffalo meat haunches that had been laid about for them. It was awesome to watch these half-wildlings come down from the forest to the fence only three feet from us, and watch them exchange signals and attack their food. They also have a growing pack of Mexican wolves, a southwestern sub-species.

It was an exhausting day, which we capped off with a pleasant Italian dinner in Julian, a tourist town that once housed miners and ranchers. Loverly expedition, Mom. The wolves send their howl.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 09 - 12:20 AM

Not to worry MOM. The potato in the microwave did not actually catch on fire. Be grateful for small things, like the dead battery in the smoke alarm which we didn't have to listen to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 May 09 - 10:18 PM

Great minds think alike.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 May 09 - 10:15 PM

Or Limbaugh's face on Chongo's ass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 09 - 10:12 PM

And vice-versa!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 May 09 - 06:56 PM

To hell with Mt. Rushmore! I'm waiting for them to tattoo Chongo's face on Rush Limbaugh's ass!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 May 09 - 06:14 PM

Don't forget, Rapaire...Reagan couldn't act as well as a chimp can. You've seen "Bedtime for Bonzo", haven't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 May 09 - 06:05 PM

Or should it be "quay."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 09 - 02:59 PM

Some people wanted to put Reagan's there -- same thing, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 May 09 - 12:57 PM

I'm waiting for the day they put Chongo's face on Mount Rushmore. I know everything will be okay after that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 May 09 - 11:47 AM

Sparkling Vista of Thirty Kay? I though Amos was an Apple kinda guy. Shouldn't that be the sparkling OSX of Thirty Kay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 09 - 10:58 AM

BE brave, ladies!! There are trying times and obstacles about, but the future is glorious, bright, untrammeled!! Just think how you will feel the day Mom peeks over the highest rocky wall to the sparkling vista of Thirty Kay!! Wow, oh, wow, am I right?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 May 09 - 01:01 AM

My attorney starts the clock running the moment they answer the phone down at their office. And if you're given the run-around, you're paying for it. I figured out after a while that if I wrote out what I wanted to know in a letter then faxed it to her that she didn't charge me for that or, apparently, for the time to read the letter.

I'm bushed. A trip to Dallas this evening, maybe one tomorrow, and again on Sunday. I'm tired just thinking about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 09 - 11:17 PM

That's a nice break for you, Janie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 29 May 09 - 10:29 PM

Obese people are human too. I know, because I are one.


Busy, busy day, MA. My excellent boss of 8 months handed in her resignation. That makes 6 program directors that have been chewed up and spit out in the last 18 months. As a colleague noted today, those of us who have managed to stick around in public mental health the past few years are quite a committed and resiliant bunch of clinicians. I immediately got on the phone and started recruiting administrators that I know are good. Have been asked to consider it myself, but I am not interested. I stepped up when asked 3 years ago, but I don't like being an administrator, even under good circumstances. I hated it under bad circumstances and retreated as quickly as the opportunity presented itself. Circumstances are still bad. I like being able to put my fingers in my ears, sing lalalala, ignore the politics, and use my time wisely and well in therapy sessions.

Got a present from my attorney today when I opened the bill for the arbitration work. She knocked $70 off her hourly rate, and also did not charge me for 2 hours of the research she did or had done by her paralegal to prepare.

I wasn't expecting that. And I really appreciate it. All told, it is about a 65% reduction in what it otherwise would have cost me. She was sick with pneumonia on the day of the hearing and a little loopy from the codeine to suppress the cough.

She done good anyways.

Maybe she was still a little loopy when she made up the bill to send to the bookkeeping department.

Be that as it may, I appreciate it. The budget will still be more than a little lean after I pay her this weekend, but I won't have to use the home equity line of credit to do it, which is what I thought would be necessary.

Not a particulately appropriate post, but even less appropriate elsewhere.

And what is family for, after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 09 - 06:44 PM

Grandma is clearly at a higher state of awareness than most people. She'd make a good Taoist or student of Zen. She is verging upon true wisdom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 09 - 06:36 PM

Ah, the real reality thing kinda runs in the family...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 05:02 PM

A guy sent me one of those smarmy emails and I couldn't resist:

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She
didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and
the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on
her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head
and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking,"
she said in a clear voice strong.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting
here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I
explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked. "I mean really
looked at your hands? I mean, like, really, really, you know, like LOOKED at your hands? They're like, really really cool, you know?"

Gently I looked at grandma and said, "You been smokin' that weed again, haven't you? Well, pass it over here."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 09 - 04:41 PM

ANother sample of your close connection with soi-disant "real" reality, huh? Sorry about the big C landing on your plate like that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 04:12 PM

How generous of me to wait.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 02:52 PM

Yeah. "Fats Angels" or the "Obese Outlaws" or "LDL MC" or....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 May 09 - 02:34 PM

Speaking of motorcycles...

I saw a couple of motorcycles with "training wheels" the other day. At first, I thought they were meant as aids for novice riders, then realized that both riders were so short and obese that their feet couldn't touch the ground to steady their bikes while stopped. The "training wheels" essentially turned the two-wheel bikes into something more akin to three-wheelers so they would stand up with no assistance from the riders.

Isn't it great that people so obese that they need to use an electric cart while grocery shopping can now enjoy the experience of being driven over by concrete trucks just like normal motorcyclists?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 02:03 PM

I think I saw half of those bikers....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 May 09 - 01:51 PM

Anyone seen my oldest sister around? According to her blog she is in MOAB today - but I don't see her anywhere.

Couldn't miss her if she shows up - She and her husband are on a Harley.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 12:55 PM

Around here water DOES come out of the ground already hot. See, for instance, the town of Lava Hot Springs or Yellowstone National Park.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 May 09 - 12:52 PM

Hi Mom!

Some people call the device used to heat water in a house a "hot water heater". Why? Shouldn't it be a "cold water heater"? The water starts out cold and is heated to make it hot. If the water started out hot, you wouldn't need a heater, would you?

Think about it. If you lived someplace where the water came out of the ground already hot and you needed to cool it down, it would be called a "hot water cooler", not a "cold water cooler", wouldn't it.

Of course, none of the MOAB kids call it a "hot water heater". They're too smart. They just call it a "water heater". Except for Amos. He calls it a "boiler".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 09 - 11:31 AM

Oh, Still, that was not my Equinox ad, but one for the same model, somewhere in Florida by someone else. I was just illustrating the model.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 09 - 11:16 AM

How about you cause me just a disdainful sniff, would that do?

A


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