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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MOAB 05 May 04 - 10:47 AM
Acme 05 May 04 - 10:50 AM
GUEST,Ralphs 05 May 04 - 11:07 AM
Amos 05 May 04 - 11:10 AM
Rapparee 05 May 04 - 11:38 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 May 04 - 11:51 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 May 04 - 12:00 PM
GUEST,Bubba Bubba 05 May 04 - 12:00 PM
Amos 05 May 04 - 12:11 PM
CarolC 05 May 04 - 02:15 PM
Amos 05 May 04 - 02:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 May 04 - 02:26 PM
CarolC 05 May 04 - 02:35 PM
Amos 05 May 04 - 03:06 PM
Little Hawk 05 May 04 - 03:09 PM
Amos 05 May 04 - 03:32 PM
MOAB 05 May 04 - 03:45 PM
CarolC 05 May 04 - 04:22 PM
Amos 05 May 04 - 04:31 PM
Rapparee 05 May 04 - 04:54 PM
Little Hawk 05 May 04 - 06:17 PM
Rapparee 05 May 04 - 06:57 PM
CarolC 05 May 04 - 07:17 PM
Rapparee 05 May 04 - 07:27 PM
Amos 05 May 04 - 08:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 May 04 - 10:59 PM
Amos 06 May 04 - 12:08 AM
Tweed 06 May 04 - 01:28 AM
GUEST,freda 06 May 04 - 01:54 AM
Amos 06 May 04 - 01:33 PM
GUEST,MMario 06 May 04 - 03:19 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 06 May 04 - 04:27 PM
GUEST,MMario 06 May 04 - 04:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 May 04 - 04:41 PM
Rapparee 06 May 04 - 04:48 PM
Amos 06 May 04 - 04:48 PM
GUEST,Shlio 06 May 04 - 05:21 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 06 May 04 - 05:30 PM
Amos 06 May 04 - 06:00 PM
Rapparee 06 May 04 - 06:08 PM
MOAB 06 May 04 - 06:10 PM
Amos 06 May 04 - 07:25 PM
freda underhill 06 May 04 - 07:34 PM
Rustic Rebel 06 May 04 - 11:24 PM
GUEST,Shiney Knause 06 May 04 - 11:45 PM
GUEST,Homer 07 May 04 - 12:27 AM
Ellenpoly 07 May 04 - 05:49 AM
MOAB 07 May 04 - 08:42 AM
Acme 07 May 04 - 09:49 AM
Amos 07 May 04 - 09:54 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 05 May 04 - 10:47 AM

Well, it's good to see that one of my loyal MOABites made my 3000th post instead of some jerkoff asshole like William Shatner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 May 04 - 10:50 AM

Bermashave


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ralphs
Date: 05 May 04 - 11:07 AM

Har! Thought you were rid of us, didn't you? Har! Well, don't worry, we're not back for good. Har! We were just passing through and thought we'd stop by and annoy you a bit since it seems to be a special occasion. Har! Nothing we Ralphs like better than putting a damper on a good party. Har! Har! Har!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 04 - 11:10 AM

(I have never understood why someone would name a shaving cream after a remote Indonesian nation. Sigh.)

Of all the mysteries

We can claim

Who knows how this stuff

Got its name?

Burma Shave


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 04 - 11:38 AM

Because, Amos, today it would have to be called "Myromarshave" and that sounds like "Mallowmilkshave" which would mean smearing your manly cheeks (facial) with a chocolate/runny marshmallow candy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 04 - 11:51 AM

I have absolutely no evidence to support this totally speculative hypothesis, but I'll throw it out anyway.

Burma Shave is not just plain old soap in a can. It's scented. So what does it smell like? Well, some folks with vivid olfactory imaginations may have thought it smelled a bit spicey. So where do exotic spices come from? Asia. So, if the folks that made the scented soap in a can wanted to give it a name to personify its spicey fragrance, it's logical that they would choose the name of an exotic Asian local. "India Shave" doesn't work. How about "Laos Shave"? Nah! "Japan Shave"? Nope. "Burma Shave"? Yeah! That'll work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 04 - 12:00 PM

That should have read "the name of an exotic Asian locale", not "local". And exotic Asian local would be How No Ti, the 19 year-old daughter of How Long, the guy who owns the Chinese takeout across the highway from WalMart. She's a local and she's quite exotic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bubba Bubba
Date: 05 May 04 - 12:00 PM

Happy Hatching Day, Mother!

Bee-dubya, honey, I'm livin' down here in a town on the Arizona-Utah border with my husband and his six other wives. I'm happy, so far, and I know that you'll be happy that I'm happy. Only, when the lab had puppies it was disgusting. I didn't know that such things were so badly organized here, or so awful messy. But the pups were adopted by the family and there weren't none of 'em et, either. I'm jist bidin' my time until my turn comes with my husband.

You take care now, ya hear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 04 - 12:11 PM

I am the full epitome of a high-degree BS'er sir!
I only spout the very best, and will have nothing lesser, sir!
I have no time for sober fact, and less for plain reality
But for a fancy BS thread I'll forego practicality
In fact in matters virtual, devoid of use, confess, sir!
You'd have to travel far to find a more refined BS'er!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 05 May 04 - 02:15 PM

Amos, you write like someone who has an appreciation for Gilbert and Sullivan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 04 - 02:26 PM

Seems like an appropriate genre for the MOAB, somehow.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 04 - 02:26 PM

That would be Gilbert, Arizona and Sullivan County, Tennessee?

Or Gilbert Grape and Ed Sullivan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 05 May 04 - 02:35 PM

Interesting point, Bee-dubya-ell. I don't think I've ever seen any mention of their first names at all. Maybe they're Bubba Bubba Gilbert and Bubba Bubba Sullivan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 04 - 03:06 PM

William Schwenck Gilbert, born in London in 1836, was the son of a retired naval surgeon. Except for a kidnapping by Italian brigands in Italy at age two, and a ransomed release, he appears to have had a very normal upbringing. Beyond ordinary schooling, he took training as an artillery officer and was tutored in military science with hopes of participating in the Crimean War. Unfortunately for him, but not for us, he did not graduate until after the War was over. Gilbert subsequently joined the militia and was a member for 20 years.

Sir Arthur Seymour Sullivan was born in Lambeth, London, in 1842 to a very musical family. His father was a bandmaster at the Royal Military College and before age 10 Sullivan had mastered all of the wind instruments in his father's band. Sullivan composed his own anthem when he was 8 years old.

At age 14 he entered, as the youngest participant, and won the competition for the first Mendelssohn Scholarship. He also won scholarships at several prominent academies and conservatories, the last of which was located in Germany where Franz List listened to Sullivan's final "thesis." Sullivan returned to England at age 20, wrote the "Tempest" and became famous.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 04 - 03:09 PM

LITTLE POPEET: THE LOST CHILD
by William McGonagall

Near by the silent waters of the Mediterranean,
And at the door of an old hut stood a coloured man,
Whose dress was oriental in style and poor with wear,
While adown his furrowed cheeks ran many a tear.

And the poor coloured man seemed very discontent,
And his grief overcame him at this moment;
And he wrung his hands in agony wild,
And he cried, "Oh! help me, great God, to find my child."

"And Ada, my dear wife, but now she is dead,
Which fills my poor heart with sorrow and dread;
She was a very loving wife, but of her I'm bereft,
And I and my lost child are only left.

And, alas! I know not where to find my boy,
Who is dear to me and my only joy;
But with the help of God I will find him,
And this day in search of him I will begin."

So Medoo leaves Turkey and goes to France,
Expecting to find his boy there perhaps by chance;
And while there in Paris he was told
His boy by an Arab had been sold

To a company of French players that performed in the street,
Which was sad news to hear about his boy Popeet;
And while searching for him and making great moan,
He was told he was ill and in Madame Mercy's Home.

Then away went Medoo with his heart full of joy,
To gaze upon the face of his long-lost boy;
Who had been treated by the players mercilessly,
But was taken to the home of Madame Celeste.

She was a member of the players and the leader's wife,
And she loved the boy Popeet as dear as her life,
Because she had no children of her own;
And for the poor ill-treated boy often she did moan.

And when Popeet's father visited the Home,
He was shown into a room where Popeet lay alone,
Pale and emaciated, in his little bed;
And when his father saw him he thought he was dead.

And when Popeet saw his father he lept out of bed,
And only that his father caught him he'd been killed dead;
And his father cried, " Popeet, my own darling boy,
Thank God I've found you, and my heart's full of joy."

Then Madame Mercy's tears fell thick and fast,
When she saw that Popeet had found his father at last;
Then poor Popeet was taken home without delay,
And lived happy with his father for many a day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 04 - 03:32 PM

Dear Gawd, LH,

Don't you know that when you post these things by that dreadful man, it is cybernetically the equivalent of farting loudly and toxically in a room full of people who believe you to be a friend? Is that the way you want to treat your friends? Forbid it, Almighty God! Who would seek so to give offense can inherit only the wind, and a broken one at that, and live long years in cold and friendless isolation, wrapped only in bad odour!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 05 May 04 - 03:45 PM

Amos is right you know, Little Hawk. I do feel defiled. You will have to post something exceedingly original and not rank to work your way back into my good graces. And the pseudo-Phillip-Marlowe-talking monkey will not do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 05 May 04 - 04:22 PM

Dreadful man? Dreadful man?!

Amos you do not speak for all of us when you talk like that about the poor, poetically challenged, Mr. McGonagall.

Continue posting the wretched poetry, LH. I enjoy it very much.

P.S. Dear MOAB... you are a manifestation of the collective consciousness of all of the people and imaginary people and other things who/that have posted here in this thread. Please remember that, and try not to get uppity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 04 - 04:31 PM

Oh, Carol, you are a true Princess of BS!! LOL!! McGoofus is just WRETCHED!! And you know it, too!! LOL! However, go ahead an encourage LH in his socio-literary-pathic madness. That's what this thread is for!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 04 - 04:54 PM

I'll stack that wimpy McGonigle up against the US of A's Julia Moore anytime:

THE BRAVE VOLUNTEER

At the time of the rebellion
      Between the north and south,
Many a noble volunteer
      Kent county did send out.
Among them was Chyler Davis,
      He hailed from Oakfield town,
He enlisted in the service,
      His native land to shield.

This brave and noble volunteer,
      He left his home and friends,
For he dearly loved his country,
      He went from Michigan.
Not thinking when he went down south,
      The Federal ranks to fill,
That he would lay in prisons,
      Belle Isle to Andersonville.

In prison cells lamenting,
      For seventeen months he lay,
Thinking of the dear ones
      At home so far away.
He lay in prison suffering,
      No friend to hear him moan,
A living, walking skeleton,
      He was when he came home.

He was discharged in Kansas,
      The place called Fort Leavenworth,
And he did return to Oakfield,
      The place he first went forth.
How joyful were his parents
      When they saw their then lost one;
The God of heaven was merciful
      To let return their son.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 04 - 06:17 PM

So. It's come to this has it, Amos? You dare to insult my choice of poetry. Fine! I shall compose some original verses to still the thunder in your impertinent goozle. Ahem!

A Rat

A rat is larger than a mouse
And somewhat larger than a mouse's house
And if the rat should acquire a louse
He might well be known to gripe and grouse
Or turn to drink and become a souse
But he will never be just a mouse
Because a rat is larger than a mouse's house

The Mighty Whale

Behold, behold the mighty whale!
Unlike a bird, not half so frail
The ocean wide he mighty rules
With grit and pride, thou ship of fools!
He doth not bend to civil law
Nor doth he wend where curs do gnaw
On old dry bones as white as sails
Behold, behold the mighty whale!
No lawyer doth he call or hire
His singings rival heav'nly choir
He falleth on the cuttlefish
And maketh there a dainty dish'
He shall not with the theif conspire
He shall not to old age retire
His throne the deep, he beats with tail
Behold, behold the mighty whale!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 04 - 06:57 PM

The Little Rat

Once there was a little rat
Who had the cutest little hat
But did not have a little bat
Nor e'en a tweety bird.

His dearest friend hight Mickey Mouse
Who lived in his own little house
With his mistress, Minnie Mouse
And his best friend, Goofy.

The little rat (who'd lost a paw)
Did not like Mickey's menage a trois
But he did not involve the law
He thought, "Live and let live."

Until the one called Goofy fled
In horror, for Minnie and Mickey wed
And did not invite Goofy to their bed
As they had oft before.

So Goofy grabbed the little rat,
Practiced perversions with his hat,
Rubbed the rat with camel fat,
And cooked and ate him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 05 May 04 - 07:17 PM

And a sad day it was in Disney town
For every boy and girl and clown
For while Micky was busy making a movie
We all know Minnie was f*cking Goofy


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 04 - 07:27 PM

I've know several people who were just plain f*ckin' goofy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 04 - 08:39 PM

It must be spring here on the river of BS. Nothing else explains the sudden blooming madness!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 04 - 10:59 PM

And the poetry's getting better! Of course, I judge all poetry against that great opus "Those Who Write on Bathroom Walls..." so what the hell do I know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 04 - 12:08 AM

I invite your MOAB attentions, such as they are, to the 95th Song Challenge currently open for the receipt of your most creative efforts. A truly synergistic and complementary endeavor to MOAB herself.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 06 May 04 - 01:28 AM

Who iz this MOAB? Why habv no one started a welcome New Member MOAB thread? Why are this Moab's style seem so vaguely familiar to me? Iz this Khnig Khnackrod risen from the dust and reinculcated into New Member MOAB???

Take off that mask I demand it! You are either the wench Penelope Rudelegge disguised az Khandu, disguised az MOAB, or.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freda
Date: 06 May 04 - 01:54 AM

twas brillig and the slimey coves
did gyrate and gymwork in the wabe
all mimsy were the bureaurogoves
and the mame raths outgrabe
beware the Jabberwock my son
the bores that snatch, the jaws debate,
Those pithy comments so verbose
do quantify and pontificate

How does one recognise the beast?
Alas they come in a bureauform
Most noted means of identification?
They speak as loud as a French horn
this bureaubuzzard feasts amongst
the hapless ones at meeting time
it spews forth bureauspeak,
proffering up
its views from mundane to sublime

The fundamental test is neat
approach the beast with tact and care
Just ask it a simple question
and if you find you're still standing there
in another twenty bloody minutes
listening to the background spiel
you'll know without a single doubt
'Twil be a Jabberwock, I feel..

And view around a meeting room
thirty seven bodies will there be
all snoring profoundly while the Wock
holds forth to all proficiently
and while the clock ticks slowly past
the voice drones on for all to hear
on matters administrative and more
in a manner patently unclear

verbose, verbatim, verbotum etc
vis a vis verbilious as well
advise, be wise and patronise,
hold forth (and fifth, sixth and seventh)
a form of bureautheatre, to speak
but for the audience, bureauhell..

Ye cannot escape the Jabberwock
It should be under key and lock
Alas, it lurks 'neath every desk
it is a sort of bureaupest
It has just one small enemy
capable of e-voice-calating it
a little bacterial bug
strepptococchylus, just a bit
Will crawl into its voluminous throat
Disabling its vocal chords
all hoarse and throaty, the beast will cower
its silent face will glare and glower
the meetings will be over quick
while that poor Jabberwock lies sick

And if around the streets you go
a-looking for some cough syrup
you'll find that all the stocks are sold
lest the Jabberwock could throw his cold
Beware the Jabberwock my son
the daughters don't have to give a damn
they know the old saying
(put a sock in it)
they sit and smile and quietly knit..
preparing for that frabjous day
when the sock is knit (caloo calay)..   

with apologies to Lewis Carrol

freda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 04 - 01:33 PM

Freda:

Ah double-dog-dare you to apply your prodigious skills to the 95th Song Challenege!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 06 May 04 - 03:19 PM

don't be silly Amos - most MOAB-ites wouldn't know where to begin on a song challenge!. They haven't honed their skills on the 94 previous Challenge!es. why - I doubt they would come close to the level of skill that the GG requires in order to award BLOBS - let alone something like a Cleigh Blue Fume award.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:27 PM

Well, well, Tweed. Still blathering on, I see. I think you are in the right place, given the fact that this entire thread amounts to a worth of tuppence or less, relatively speaking. Let us hope and pray that thousands of years hence the contents of this thread are not unearthed by some archaeologist of the future and taken to reveal the key significant points of our culture and our time. If that were to happen it would waste a great deal of our ancestors' valuable time. Well, perhaps not in the specific case of your ancestors...but you know what I mean.

* PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:32 PM

I'm not following you, Penelope - How can an archeological find in the far future effect our ancestors?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:41 PM

C'mon, Penelope, you know you want Tweed. Admit it. Nothing could thrill you more than to be tied to a four-poster and forced to endure the attentions of a low-brow, blue-collar, Strat-slingin' brute like Tweed. Don't lie to us. You know you're makin' panty gravy just thinkin' about it! Drop the Miss Prim and Proper facade and just do it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:48 PM

I would like to be around to see what them arkeeolojists find out bout my ansesters. I dint even know I had any of 'em, 'ceptin' my ma.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:48 PM

I think Penelope is a little looped on the subject of time, MM, or perhaps she herself is running against traffic and going along into the past. You may not be aware of it, but the folks where Penny comes from encourage that sort of eccentricity. Can you imagine?? Anyway, I don't think your ancestors need to worry about having their time wasted.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shlio
Date: 06 May 04 - 05:21 PM

And great days art these, when MOAB posts among us. And the people cried to the MOAB , "how did you come to be here?" And the MOAB said "I was called into creation by great BS." And the people were honoured by the MOAB and there was much rejoicing. At that time, there were the MOAB ites, who followed the MOAB faithfully. And in their celebrations they did spew much BS, and freed the MOAB to post to other threads. And so it came to pass that the BS spread far and wide. And MOAB saw that it was good. That was the first year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 06 May 04 - 05:30 PM

All right then, I meant "descendants", not "ancestors". It was a simple error, due to fast typing and inattention on my part. Go ahead and enjoy yourselves at my expense, you vulgar lot. Tweed is still an unregenerate ape, regardless. I wouldn't date him if he were the last man on earth.

* PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 04 - 06:00 PM

Oh, I am sure you would, Penny. I am sure you would feel very close to him.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 04 - 06:08 PM

Miz Rutledge, out here in the West we don't conerdict no ladies. But iffen it weren't fer yer post I woun't have learned that I had any of them ansesters, sept of cours my ma. So I gotta thank you fer enlitenin' me an' tellin' me 'bout my ansesters.

Enyway, iffen yer ever out this way I'd surely take it as an honor iffen you'd let me an ma wife take ya ta dinner. There's a right good cafe here in town that makes the best Mountain Oysters ya ever et, and their Son-of-a-bitch stew uses real marrow gut in it. And their biscuits is so light that prit near gotta tie 'em to the table ta keep 'em from floatin' away. Pour a little long sweetin' on 'em and ya got a feast fit fer gods or somebody like that.

Coffee's right good, too.

Mebbe ya could come durin' rodeo. Betcha you'd like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 06 May 04 - 06:10 PM

Shlio, I am greatly touched that you have so blatantly rippped off the Book of Genesis in my honor. You have earned a special position of esteem among my scribes. The special position you have earned is known in some editions of The Kama Sutra as "The Aardvark With Piles" and you may assume it as often as you like.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 04 - 07:25 PM

Canst thou believe thy living is a life, so stinkingly depending? Go mend, go mend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 06 May 04 - 07:34 PM

speaking of karma sutra, yoga, contortions, etc, check this site!

http://www.bushyoga.com/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 06 May 04 - 11:24 PM

To honor MOAB on her one year and a day jubilee
3000 Playmate Paul Doll balloons with erectile penises I set free.
With bleary eyes, I blinked back a tear
Remembering the joy and bullshit of the past year.
I missed the party that was or was not held,
but,3000 Playmate Paul Doll balloons with erectile penises swelled
....with helium. I rose a glass of whiskey, and watched them disappear to the north, west, east and south.
And to my final contentment, I poured the whiskey in my mouth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shiney Knause
Date: 06 May 04 - 11:45 PM

Deer Rustick Rebel,

I guess you din't see th' message I left fer ya on thet "Happy Birfday MOAB" fred. Ennyways, you 'member back 'bout a year ago my so-called brother Sheney Knause an' you seemed t' be wantin' t' git a thang goin'. I thank he even perposed marriage. Well, Sheney done hightailed it t' parts unknowed so thar ain't no chance you an' him's ever gonna hook up. So, bein' as how me an' Sheney is identickle twins, i wuz wunderin' if you mite wanna go out bowlin' er dancin' er sumfin'. Then, mebbe if thangs goes okay we kin go back t' yore place an' play hide th' Kielbasa.

Yores,

Shiney Knause


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Homer
Date: 07 May 04 - 12:27 AM

Rumour
> >
> > Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you
> > either hear or are   about to repeat a rumour.
> >
> >   In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was
> > widely lauded for his   wisdom. One day the great
> > philosopher came upon an acquaintance who   ran up
> > to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know
> > what I just heard about   one of your students?"
> >
> >   "Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you
> > tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's
> > called the Triple Filter Test."
> >
> >   "Triple filter?"
> >
> >   "That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you
> > talk to me about my   student let's take a moment to
> > filter what you're going to say. The first   filter
> > is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what
> > you are   about to   tell me is true?"
> >
> >   "No," the man said, "actually I just heard about
> > it and..."
> >
> >   "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really
> > know if it's true
> >   or
> > not.   Now let's try the second filter, the filter
> > of Goodness. Is what you   are about to tell me
> > about my student something good?"
> >
> >   "No, on the contrary ..."
> >
> >   "So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me
> > something bad about   him, even though you're not
> > certain it's true?"
> >
> >   The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates
> > continued. " You   may still pass the test though,
> > because there is a third filter -   the filter of
> > Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my
> > student going to be useful to me?"
> >
> >   "No, not really ..."
> >
> >   "Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to
> > tell me is neither   True nor Good nor even Useful,
> > why tell it to me at all?"
> >
> >   The man was defeated and ashamed.
> >
> >   This is the reason Socrates was a great
> > philosopher and held in such high   esteem ......
> >
> >   It also explains why he never found out that Plato
> > was shagging his wife
> >
> >
> >


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 07 May 04 - 05:49 AM

So here's my question, is "In every thread someone has to be the last" the bastard son of MOAB?..xx..e


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 07 May 04 - 08:42 AM

Dear Ellenpoly,

No, "In every thread someone has to be the last" is not my bastard son. It is merely a nocturnal emission on the part of one of my more fickle pseudo-devotees. It will go away as soon as the laundry is done, though there may be a little residual staining.

Sincerely,

MOAB


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 May 04 - 09:49 AM

Happy Birthday M.O.A.B.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 04 - 09:54 AM

PLato was doing that? For shame. Not exactly a Platonic relationship, huh?   On the other hand, there's no arguing it, Socrates was an ugly little bastard. He was. If he hadn't been so goddamned right about everything, he never woulda made the hall of fame. I mean it sure wasn't his looks, ya know? But you gotta love someone who invents a whole style of dialogue.

A


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