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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 13 Sep 15 - 10:45 PM
Rapparee 13 Sep 15 - 06:27 PM
Amos 13 Sep 15 - 01:44 PM
Rapparee 13 Sep 15 - 12:28 PM
Acme 13 Sep 15 - 10:09 AM
Amos 13 Sep 15 - 02:07 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 15 - 10:09 PM
GUEST,# 12 Sep 15 - 08:51 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 15 - 08:44 PM
gnu 12 Sep 15 - 10:00 AM
Amos 12 Sep 15 - 02:26 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 15 - 09:51 PM
gnu 11 Sep 15 - 09:11 PM
Amos 11 Sep 15 - 11:40 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 15 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 15 - 10:01 AM
Rapparee 10 Sep 15 - 10:34 PM
gnu 10 Sep 15 - 09:18 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 15 - 07:44 PM
Amos 09 Sep 15 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 15 - 02:33 PM
gnu 09 Sep 15 - 12:24 PM
Amos 09 Sep 15 - 12:00 PM
gnu 09 Sep 15 - 11:33 AM
gnu 09 Sep 15 - 11:23 AM
Rapparee 09 Sep 15 - 10:09 AM
Rapparee 08 Sep 15 - 10:59 PM
Acme 08 Sep 15 - 10:50 PM
gnu 08 Sep 15 - 12:55 PM
Amos 08 Sep 15 - 11:11 AM
Rapparee 07 Sep 15 - 10:08 PM
Acme 07 Sep 15 - 09:43 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 15 - 09:24 PM
GUEST,Amos' Evil Twin 07 Sep 15 - 06:30 PM
Amos 07 Sep 15 - 05:35 PM
gnu 07 Sep 15 - 04:59 PM
gnu 07 Sep 15 - 12:01 PM
Acme 07 Sep 15 - 11:22 AM
Rapparee 06 Sep 15 - 09:53 PM
gnu 06 Sep 15 - 09:17 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 15 - 04:29 PM
gnu 06 Sep 15 - 02:29 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 15 - 11:58 AM
Acme 06 Sep 15 - 11:29 AM
Amos 06 Sep 15 - 12:07 AM
Rapparee 05 Sep 15 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 15 - 10:16 PM
gnu 05 Sep 15 - 01:56 PM
gnu 05 Sep 15 - 06:26 AM
Ebbie 05 Sep 15 - 03:20 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 15 - 10:45 PM

In Everts' classic work on being lost in Yellowstone for 37 days back in the 19th Century he remarks on using hot pots to cook his thistle roots. He also broke through the crust of earth around a hot zone while sleeping and badly scalded his hip. Even so, his was the longest time anyone has ever been lost in Yellowstone NP and lived to tell about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 15 - 06:27 PM

The Yellowstone thing should mean snow free roads and stuff but it doesn't seem to work that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Sep 15 - 01:44 PM

What a nice vision, Rapparree.. And you deserve it! It wouldn't happen to a nicer guy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 15 - 12:28 PM

I, for one, am grateful beyond words that where I live is not susceptible to hurricanes or tsunamis. Everything else, yes, but not those. I am, however, waiting for the oceans to raise high enough that my property values skyrocket because I own beachfront property.

Imagine: a warm, sandy beach (because of the Yellowstone caldera), the sky a glow overhead (due to Idaho National Laboratory), the waves gently lapping against the palm trees (global warming)....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Sep 15 - 10:09 AM

Many of us have managed to survive in spite of many efforts of the human race to check out early.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Sep 15 - 02:07 AM

Prime in form, but not of prime importance.

Hey, Mom!! I just had a GREAT birthday. Drove to LA for a huge Chinese dinner with nephews and grandchildren and affection all over.

So no I am officially and chronologically a Septuagenarian. How about THEM apples, huh? Never thought I'd see the day!

Thanks to all who made it possible--by being kind, by not stealing my lunch, by not T-boning my car at 75 mph while drunk, by refraining from setting off suitcase nukes in my vicinity, by not running planes into my house, and failing to poison my water supply. Thanks, too, tot hose who did not vaporize my part of the planet with high-intensity quasar rays from a fleet of hovering saucer-shaped vessels, and to the bowels of the earth for unleashing NO tsunamis in my general direction. Thanks to all the maintenance workers who did their jobs well enough that my planes could fly, my car keep its wheels on, my power stay on, and my gas-lines stay non-volatile. I am grateful for millions of small favors, every day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 15 - 10:09 PM

# is also prime.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,#
Date: 12 Sep 15 - 08:51 PM

This is post 53173 which is a prime number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 15 - 08:44 PM

My only possession is obsession, were I to make a digression. But having just eaten I don't want a digression to my digestion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 15 - 10:00 AM

Indeed, I am possessed by obsession.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 15 - 02:26 AM

Well,I like the song too, Rapparreee--but your rhetorical rebuttal is a little squirrelly, I must say. Can you figure out why?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 15 - 09:51 PM

No, Amos. I just like the song. Obsession isn't my bag and never was and never will be and I don't obsess about it because I really couldn't care less but if obsession is something you want to do then go ahead but I don't obsess about anything, you understand, because obsessing would take up too much psychic energy which I would rather put into other things than obsessing about something.

gnu, you needn't punch them. Simply remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that bad news sells, even if it freaks out older ladies. Otherwise you'll find yourself obsessing over it and that isn't good. It takes up too much psychic energy which you can put into other things than obsessing about something. And obsession is a good way to come down with obsessive-compulsive disorder and you wouldn't want that, so don't dwell on the weather forecasters and their doomsday prophecies. You could find yourself thinking about punching them for frightening your mother over and over, and obsessing like that isn't healthy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Sep 15 - 09:11 PM

A. I understand. I thought your FB post was eloquent and thoughtful.

I am enjoying this all ta hell and back! Knocked 18C tops today. Rain. Glorious rain! I fired up a roast of chicken... spuds, carrots, turnip, squash, dressing (stovetop stuffing from a package... Mum likes the crap because she can't do REAL dressing with REAL onions) and TLC. Really made her day and that's my job so I felt good too.

BTW... we had rain. We didn't have the biblical deluge that the weather terrorists predicted (SOLD at the top of every hour on the news). I could go into details but allow me to summarize. The fuckers scared my mother yet again for no good reason. I seriously wanna meet up with these fuckers and punch them. Seriously.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 15 - 11:40 AM

Monstrous historical invocations abound in every land, old friend. While I am not in favor of forgetting things, I am very much in favor of not acting on past situations, preferring to act on present ones. Obsessive remembrance is just as debilitating as obsessive forgetting.

I came out of the woods and played a gig at the Navajo Bar last night. The audience seemed pleased and it was a lot of fun. I do believe I am healing.

My blessings upon all the sibs of MOAB wherever they may ramble, from ancient Khandu write up to this very instant!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 15 - 10:04 AM

I mean to add....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 15 - 10:01 AM

September 11.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 15 - 10:34 PM

Okay, stop playing air mouth harp.

I assume you have a problem with Adobe?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 15 - 09:18 PM

Alas, even air geetar is out of the reach of my arthritis.

Oh... BTW... fuck Adobe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 15 - 07:44 PM

Wearing a shepherd's crown amidst clutter's last stand, poor Mom was nearly flushed off the page by the inattention of Others Who Shall Remain Nameless.

Fortunately, I came by and rectified the situation because I am a rectifier. Mom is sleeping it off, so be very quiet and Amos, stop playing that 'rhan like you knew what you were doing. gnu, put up that air guitar; Mom will find it too noisy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 11:23 PM

So rich and rare a memory your passionate prose evokes! I have confirmed my attendance at the Getaway--in the confidence I will be restored to Full Sass and Operability by then. It has been an over today. Heatwave city! Relief soon, I hope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 02:33 PM

They did take them to court and other places. I saw several tobacco fields in Alsace and found out that they were licensed and very tightly controlled by the French government. Cigarettes were about $12.00 per pack and up. Benson and Hedges were about $16.00 per pack, and I have no idea what the cost of chawing tabacky, pipe tobacco, or cigars were. Interestingly enough, Lucky Strikes, Pall Mall, Chesterfield, and other brands extinct in the US were available there.

So were Gaulois and other brands favored by espionage agents who tool around in Citroens whose headlight form dirty yellow pools on the gritty streets of Montemarte as the Parisian drizzle dampens the soul.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 12:24 PM

Glad to hear you are on the mend, A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 12:00 PM

Thanks so much, Rapparree.

I am glad to say that my faith in overbearing pharmaceutical solutions has been restored and the beast of black fever, though snarling and glaring, are being held in abeyance to a much larger degree by the combined forces of (some unpronounceable antibiotic) and (some unpronounceable inhaler). There are definitely side-effects and the sooner I can get through the chemistry experiment the better, but at least the torture has been mitigated.

I've been trawling round websites that talk about using stem-cells as a path to regenerating lungs that are suffering from COPD and/or emphysema. It is downright amazing how many poor souls out there are slowly strangling to death, and in the majority of cases it stems from things that were shoved down their throats, either by parents, Madison Avenue hucksters, or teachers.. The lists are full of people begging to be included in an experimental program, willing to foreswear all claims outright for a chance at being able to breathe well again. Someone should make all the RJ Reynolds people study these missives.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 11:33 AM

I thought, what the hell... treat yourself. Well, guess what...

Great news, we ship everywhere!

Well, almost everywhere ? we can ship to most places, including UK, US, Europe, Australia and Asia!

There are a few places we can't ship at the moment, including Canada, Russia or Brazil, but we are working on it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 11:23 AM

Well, it's only £4000.00 each but the snooty bastards will only allow one per customer. Not much of a party, that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 10:09 AM

A "thank you" is expected, Amos. Of course, it can wait until you return to good physical health. No one in the Legion comments upon mental health.

Now, you take Sandy. He can run ten miles in less than seventy minutes while juggling two full-grown oxen and a full length of railroad rail. He can do push-ups so fast his clothes ignite and keep that up all day, every day, for a week. Physical health? He's always surrounded by a pile of dead microbes and viruses that reach clear to his knees. If his whiskey doesn't contain cyanide and strychnine he thinks it's water. And he's ninety-six years old!

But mental health? Well, I can't go into it, not on a fellow Legionnaire, but suffice to say that he does...things...with habanero jello, Certain Mechanical Devices, and himself on a small sailboat that have been presented as papers at the International Association of Clinical Psychologists of Really Aberrant Uncurable Behaviors (IACPRAUB). I can give you his "study name": Patient Fargone.

So get well and you can send the thank-you donation (small denomination, used, non-sequentially serially numbered, unmarked US dollars only, please, and the more the better) to me and I'll see that the Legion gets it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 10:59 PM

The Idaho Legion will sacrifice three liters of Midleton's Pearl whiskey (mixed with Seven Up, of course) in an attempt to appease whatever gods may be and force them to return Amos to good health or at least as close to it as is possible for him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 10:50 PM

I have a BarcaLounger-type chair from my father's house that I kept just for those occasions when one must sleep but can't do it lying down. Specifically when one has a cough. At time it has been a life-saver.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 12:55 PM

Yesterday, I had over 28kbtu of AC crankin full tilt. At the moment, it's 16C with a slight mist and wind at 15kph... the AC is off and my windows are open. Ahhhh weather! We are havin us some weather.

Amos... is it yet bearable?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 11:11 AM

Last night was a bear. Just a goddamned bear. This morning is better. I am off to seek medical wisdom. I have had enough of this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 10:08 PM

Cloisters, perhaps? I dunno.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 09:43 PM

I guess Amos knows what is up if he has a twin. Evil or otherwise. Get over the coughing soon, my friend!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 09:24 PM

I think "Evil Twin" probably meant "clysters" and not "clusters." But who knows? I've been involuntarily involved in more than a few clusters myself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos' Evil Twin
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 06:30 PM

I gave it to him. A present. I cannot enjoy anything while he's enjoying anything. But my timing was off for he was to get sick in Ireland and be treated with emetics and clusters by an incompetent veterinarian in Ballynapucha. Damn!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 05:35 PM

I am getting on, still tweaking fucking pictures from glorious Irish vacation. Rather do it than review it, I can say that. I am still coughing like a half-breed pony in the rain, but I think I am getting better. This is the kind of experience for which the great poets of language and our forefather authors of wisdom immortalized the timeless phrase, "I hate this shit!".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 04:59 PM

gnu's in the lead with Acme running a descent second while Rapparee is a distant third. Ague Amos was scrubbed earlier as coming up lame. Chongo, or whatever the fuck he calls him/herself today, never showed, to the delight of the track goers so it's anybody's race really. There was talk of a late entry by one of the favourites, BWL, but it seems BWL's jockey may actually have a life. As we come into the final stretch, gnu pulls up short and simply canters over to the barley bar and his jockey orders a drink. gnu was heard to neigh (translated), "Run? In this heat? Fuck that shit. I'll have Gibson's Finest straight up with a Bud chaser."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 12:01 PM

"How's the aching ague, Amos?" he asked again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 11:22 AM

Who needs alcohol? Is there such a thing as a sugar hangover? We had lots of extra desserts arrive for yesterday's small dinner with a few friends. There was a little booze mixed in, but it was mostly just food. MOM is snoring gently on the couch right now - taking a morning nap after getting up late.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 15 - 09:53 PM

Maybe some Gosling's Black Seal or almost overproof anything except Bacardi and Captain Morgan. Of course, good rum doesn't need to be overproof.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Sep 15 - 09:17 PM

Yes, Lamb's Navy might work. London Dock is finer, IMO, but not much "black" as is customary. If I was a young man again, I would convene a panel with Alfred of Amber, Old Sam and The Captain. We'd sup and eat brown bread slathered with butter and molasses and convene again in a couple of days after we had recovered to decree... what the fuck were we on about again? Amos? Amos who? Has he been properly Screeched In?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 15 - 04:29 PM

I've got a liter of 151 proof Lamb's. Will that work?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Sep 15 - 02:29 PM

175.8. BP is holding at a tad high. Worth every bite.

A... get thee a 40 pounder of black rum... kill or cure!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 15 - 11:58 AM

I have my own trouble with regular aunts, so I don't need the fire type. Take my Aunt Thecla now -- she drank six quarts of freshly made lemonade every day, no sugar, and it made her into the sourest person you ever met but I must admit that she didn't have scurvy even once in her 107 year alive. She once looked at a cardinal that was singing his little heart out in her backyard and that look knocked him down dead. Took 20+ years to clear it with the Vatican and a whopping big donation to Peter's Pence...bankrupted the family for prit near two decades. Or Aunt Elly, who became a nun and ended up teaching other nuns how to discipline the pupils they were teaching; she learned it from her great-great grandfather who was torturer-in-chief to some Russian czar or somebody. Or Aunt Helen, who flew helicopters for me. No, keep your fire aunts. I've enough aunts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 15 - 11:29 AM

Aha! A point made on the organic gardening program I listen to: fire ants (an invasive species) keep chiggers and ticks out of the area. So if you want to get rid of chiggers or ticks, I can send you some fire ants to start your own invasive colony.

You're welcome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 15 - 12:07 AM

I am sorry to be silent but I have been suffering waves of fatigue, chills and fwever that I picked up on the way home. I am heading out of the woods now but it is still raucous and very uncomfortable.

There are many more pictures and I am correlating them and using their EXIF metadata to remind me where they were yaken and entitling tyhem porperly and so forth and also integrating BBW's pictures and mine in date order. I will put the whole shebang up somewhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 15 - 10:27 PM

Approximately 10 kilograms of those two isotopes constitutes critical mass. In short, you would be equal to about 340 kilotons of TNT, or 34 Nagasaki-sized fission bombs, or about 48,400 terajoules. You are one powerful dude!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 15 - 10:16 PM

gnu, 174.8 kilograms is 385.37 pounds, or 27.5 stone, or an atomic mass unit of 1.052669487 x 1029. If you're 5 feet 8.5 inches tall (the average height of Canadian males), that gives you a Body Mass Index of 56.9 on the US National Institutes of Health scale, or WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too morbidly obese. So you better whack off some of that body mass (i.e., weight). Remember, if your body was Pu239 or U235 you would have long ago achieved critical mass and pretty much all of New Brunswick and part of Maine would be radioactive and the US and Canada would have been/probably be involved in a nuclear war and it would be/have been YOUR fault. And don't tell me Canada doesn't have nukes -- I know who supplies the yellowcake and it ain't Betty Crocker.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Sep 15 - 01:56 PM

Well, that was prophetic. Clocked in at 174.8 this AM. BP clocked in high too (130/78@73bpm) so it's mostly water weight. But it was worth it. Best ham I ever ett. Even had a ham sandwich at 9PM SLATHERED with mustard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Sep 15 - 06:26 AM

Typo... 172.8.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Sep 15 - 03:20 AM

53131

No point. Just kind of rolls off the tongue.


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