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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 12 Aug 10 - 01:21 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 12 Aug 10 - 01:28 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 12 Aug 10 - 01:47 PM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 02:07 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 12 Aug 10 - 02:23 PM
gnu 12 Aug 10 - 02:31 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 10 - 03:03 PM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 03:15 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 10 - 03:34 PM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 03:56 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 10 - 06:35 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 12 Aug 10 - 07:07 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 10 - 07:15 PM
Acme 12 Aug 10 - 08:50 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 10 - 08:52 PM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 10:02 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 10 - 11:31 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 09:47 AM
Rapparee 13 Aug 10 - 10:06 AM
MMario 13 Aug 10 - 12:08 PM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 10 - 01:01 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 01:04 PM
GUEST, Don McBride 13 Aug 10 - 01:14 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 01:26 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 13 Aug 10 - 01:40 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 01:41 PM
MMario 13 Aug 10 - 01:58 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:08 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:10 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:11 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:12 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:14 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:16 PM
MMario 13 Aug 10 - 02:16 PM
MMario 13 Aug 10 - 02:17 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:17 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:19 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:20 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:21 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:23 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:24 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:25 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:26 PM
MMario 13 Aug 10 - 02:27 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:28 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:28 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:29 PM
Acme 13 Aug 10 - 03:51 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 04:05 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 13 Aug 10 - 07:52 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 01:21 PM

The only episode I had with Chinga was to bring her sorry tale to the attention of the world, LH, in an effort to make Chongo face up to his responsibilities. I am sorry to say that in this case the task was more than even I could manage, so deeply ensconced were his profound commitments to complete irresponsibility and feckless narcissistic hedonism.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 01:28 PM

Hey Rap-POOP? You there? I know what yer problem is, man. You are all ate up with flippin' envy whenever you think of me, Shane McBride, cos I am everything you always wanted to be but you didn't have what it flippin' takes, eh? I am a livin' legend in his own mind and a majrly cool dude with a killer body and a repitation among the ladies that don't have no flippin' pier! I am the dog's bone, man.

And what are you?

A flippin' liberrian! Ha! Ha! Ha! How can a man even be a liberrian? Holy flip. Looser City, eh? I would pity you, but I can't flippin' be botttherd givin' someone like you none of my simpathy.

Too bad fer you. I would help you out, man, but I'm afeard that in yer case it is just too late, eh? You are beyond rendition. Hey, man, ajjust yer pointy glasses, go check out yer flippin' card catellog, and tell them rowdie boys in the corner to "SHHHHHHH!"

LOL! I am rollin' on the floor here!   

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 01:47 PM

Amos, ol' pal, there is one simple little rule that will keep you outta trouble in life:

"Don't try to fix what ain't broke."

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 02:07 PM

Chongo,

You are a flea-bitten anachronistic pod of simian improbability covered in a thick coat of complete irresponsibility. You may not be broken, but neither is a tuberculosis bacterium, yet somehow you both bring out the urge in people to do something about it. I know its not your fault you're an under-evolved species, but you don't have to dramatize it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 02:23 PM

Yeah? And yer an empty noise echoin' in a hollow chamber.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 02:31 PM

But, you heard him, LH. Echoing in a hollow chamber... hmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 03:03 PM

It sounds like some sort of code to me, gnu. Kind of worrisome, actually.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 03:15 PM

I am impressed with how succinctly Chongo completely avoided the issue. Clearly he is a highly developed dodger and evader.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 03:34 PM

You're wrong, Shame. I'm not a librarian any more. I retired from that gig back in March. I'm working as a free-lancer for Certain Folks and I have a "job" to do in Saginaw soon. It won't take long and since we want to give the guy a "boat ride" in the North Channel I think me and Rocco might help the world by paying you a visit. Why, we'll even give you your first and last bath! Har Har Har! Of course we could get in trouble with the EPA and Environment Canada for that! Shucks, we won't even charge for the trouble of making sure you're securely anchored!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 03:56 PM

At least you won't have to take his old shoes off to put his concrete overshoes on.,..



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 06:35 PM

Nobody does that anymore, Amos. Eventually the leg bones fall apart and the rest floats. No, you wire 'em to an anchor and find a nice anchorage, preferably in deep, deep water. But since we'll be doing this "pro bone" so to speak we could do it the traditional way, I suppose. Or we could...no, that's too mean and even Shame doesn't deserve that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 07:07 PM

Yer bone is way too small to go pro, man. I am the only genuwine pro bone around this joint.

- Shane

p.s. I am real sorry (but not real surprized) to hear you got kicked out of yer liberry job. You probally didn't look that good with yer hair tied back in one of them liberrian buns and wearin' the long dress, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 07:15 PM

Sort of like this, Shane?

Rapaire at work?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 08:50 PM

Who knew? Shane does pro bono work?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 08:52 PM

More like this. That's a picture of me at my new job!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 10:02 PM

You and SHane seem to share a deep current of ignorance, LH. That picture was not Rapaire by a LONG shot; it was his nemesis, his arch-enemy, his mortal foe, his Black Angel, a terrifying old woman named Mrs. Grundy. No-one knows her first name, and none care to either. She's a biblioterrorist and first-order Comstockian.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 11:31 PM

Oh, Shane and I "seem to share a deep current of ignorance", do we? Sure, Amos, it's okay for you to drop these kind of unsubtle verbal bombs on a (sob!) longtime friend and comrade who only thinks the best of you. Sure, you don't mind destroying what little (sniff!) pride and self-esteem I have left, and just trampling all over me with hobnailed boots, and comparing me to witless, unwashed hosers like Shane. You probably don't care at all that I have been reduced to tears and can barely see the keyboard now! You heartless bastard!

;-) (heh! heh!)

Look, I'm not saying that I see Rapaire as resembling Miss Grundy. I don't. I am saying that Shane probably sees Rapaire that way.

Capiche? Comprende? See? Get my drift? Savvy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 09:47 AM

Forgive my bluntness, old puss. But I think thelink to Mrs Grundy was posted under your handle. Not to mention that is ijust a tad rude to make other people responsible for keeping track of the intersections and separations between your and your cast of thousands...it's not as if we don't have our own HR management problems to deal with! :D




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 10:06 AM

Hey, Shame. I'm in Saginaw. It goes down this afternoon. So tonight or tomorrow we'll be "visiting" you. But we're nice guys so we're gonna give you a choice: when you go overboard do you want to be alive and awake and sober, or dead? Rocco likes the first choice and I told him since you were already dead from the forehead down it didn't matter, so we're leaving it up to you.

What's yer preference? And how about if you wear swimming trunks -- not that you're goin' to be swimming any!? Haw haw haw!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 12:08 PM

Shane alive, awake and *sober*?

How are you going to accomplish that?

It hasn't occurred since he first found out how to open a beer bottle!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:01 PM

Yeah, and they're easier to open now than they were back then too. No way he's gonna be awake and sober!

Amos - Yes, I posted that link, but I was merely speculating as to how Shane might see Rapaire in his mind's eye. Note the question mark.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:04 PM

Oh, ah, my, the convoutions of justified thought! How intricate, how interlocked, how delicately balanced!

Be of good cheer, LH--you are highly qualified to operate a Terran identity.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, Don McBride
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:14 PM

Okay, just what the flip is goin' on around here, eh? The little brother stoled $150 bucks outta my wallet while I was asleep, took the last 5 beer away too, and my car keys, and has took my truck and split to parts unknown! What the flip! Some bolthole on yer flippin' forum made this happen, and I know it. Jeezus flip! I needed that truck fer the weekend, eh? Hot date. Someone is gonna pay.

- Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:26 PM

Don:

It was Rapaire did it. Give 'im hell. But go armed. He has two, himself. Or seems to...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:40 PM

Figgers it'd be flippin' Rapare. Them 2 been fightin' ever since I remember, eh?

Well, I ain't puttin' up with this. I am puttin' the word out to the people I know to find the little brother and my flippin' truck by 6:00 tonight. If that fails then I am gonna call the flippin' cops in on it. Officer Dana, I guess. She might take care of it quiet without need of goin' before the judge, eh? I need that truck. I hate to call the cops on a baby brother of mine, but he shoulda knowed better than to take my truck on a Friday night!

- Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:41 PM

It's only twenty one, you know,
Before the next of Kay.
I've seen that many posts appear
In the arc of a single day!
And who will buy the funny hats?
And who provide the gin!
And who the vuvuzuela play
When that Kay comes rolling in?
Who'll beat the drum and choose the tunes?
Who'll dance upon the day?
When the last of 36 gives way
To Thirty Seven Kay?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:58 PM

that's really close, y'know, 21; i mean , we could probaby do it in an hour if we wanted to push MOM a little.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:08 PM

Here's to the men and women here
As rare as any seen,
Who brought the countdown low so fast
That stands at scarce nineteen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:10 PM

With eighteen more, our day is won,
Come out, and lend your hand!
There never was a sterner crew,
Nor e'er more stalwart band!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:11 PM

Nine eighty-three plus seventeen
Will round us past the Kay!
And we will see her fade astern,
With thelowering of the day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:12 PM

Now sixteen more, 'til joy galore
Shall permeate our being!
And past the far horizon we
Tomorrow will be seeing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:14 PM

Fifteen! Fifteen! And round the top!
Now canter, prance, and thrust!
And singing high, as speeding by
We leave three-six as dust! (ouch!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:16 PM

But fourteen more along this shore
And the Kays are Thirty-Seven!
Who'll add his voice, or raise some noise,
To bring it past eleven?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:16 PM

21,20,19,18,17   ----

that would mean sixteen left, correct?

This is tough!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:17 PM

no faire! you type faster then me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:17 PM

The night winds thrill, and the sea grows chill
And thirteen's eerie number
Now rises high, then dims and sighs
To the sounds of distant thunder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:19 PM

The Man of Emmes brings down to ten
The remnant of our burden!
But still he rides, and loud he cries
His hands not even hurtin'!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:20 PM

Oh, nine! But nine! 'Til peace of mind
Will gather on our shoulders!
No heros ever posted so,
Nor poet e'er was bolder!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:21 PM

And then the wait came down to eight!
Our breaths we all were holding!
For we knew well that soon that bell
Would turn our labors golden!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:23 PM

At seven came a gentle wind
To aid our struggles onward!
And still our comrades from the past
In silence roared and thundered!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:24 PM

With six to go, the sun, aglow,
Shined down on us from Heaven
As spur to flank, we leapt the bank
In a rush for Thirty Seven!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:25 PM

Now five remain, no sweat nor pain
Would be too much to ask!
And bent and sore, we turned oncemore
To rounding out our task!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:26 PM

Oh, four, four four! How slim and poor
The effort now remaining!
And yet, 'tis true,
That none turn to
Our spirits sadly shaming.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:27 PM

Three! Did I guess right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:28 PM

How now!! We see
That only three
Are needed in this measure
Before the Kay turns full around
And fiulls our souls with pleasure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:28 PM

And NOW tis done!
The final one!
Has hastened to its posting!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:29 PM

And THAT, by the way
Was the NEXT OF KAY!
THe pride of Mudcat's hosting!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 03:51 PM

Good job, Amos! I didn't have time to hunt up another Robert Frost poem this afternoon. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 04:05 PM

We could probably do it in an hour....MM


How about 32 minutes?

Still, thanks. Frost is weak on doggerel.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 07:52 PM

The truck ain't turned up. Nor did idiot-boy neether. So I called the cops. Officer Dana showed up about an hour ago and took down the deetales. She says they should find him quick enuff cos he is "pretty predictable". I figger she is right. If rain was as predicatable as my little brother we would not need no weatherman to tell us, eh? As it is, I borrowed a van from Bill at the garage and I am goin' on my hot date regardless of idiot-boy. The van was fulla junk in the back, but I threw it all out behind the garage and put a tarp on it. Then I got a brane wave and threw this old mattress in the back of the van. Looks like things are gonna work out okay after all. I tole Officer Dana to go easy on the boy becoz stealin' from fambly ain't really stealin', it is just bein' a dick, right?

She laughed. I bet she finds him in a day or less. If he wrecks my truck he is in deep shit.

- Don


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