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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 19 Aug 10 - 11:08 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 19 Aug 10 - 12:08 PM
Amos 19 Aug 10 - 12:27 PM
gnu 19 Aug 10 - 01:02 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 19 Aug 10 - 01:43 PM
Amos 19 Aug 10 - 01:48 PM
Amos 19 Aug 10 - 02:00 PM
Amos 19 Aug 10 - 02:33 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 10 - 02:49 PM
Donuel 19 Aug 10 - 03:03 PM
Amos 19 Aug 10 - 03:22 PM
gnu 19 Aug 10 - 03:30 PM
MMario 19 Aug 10 - 04:09 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 19 Aug 10 - 04:35 PM
Amos 19 Aug 10 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 10 - 06:04 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 19 Aug 10 - 06:48 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 19 Aug 10 - 06:56 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 19 Aug 10 - 07:21 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 19 Aug 10 - 07:29 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 19 Aug 10 - 07:33 PM
Little Hawk 19 Aug 10 - 07:46 PM
Little Hawk 19 Aug 10 - 07:49 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 10 - 08:46 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 10 - 08:48 PM
Amos 19 Aug 10 - 10:31 PM
Little Hawk 19 Aug 10 - 11:21 PM
Amos 19 Aug 10 - 11:30 PM
Donuel 19 Aug 10 - 11:35 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 10 - 10:49 AM
Amos 20 Aug 10 - 11:11 AM
Amos 20 Aug 10 - 11:30 AM
Amos 20 Aug 10 - 11:33 AM
Little Hawk 20 Aug 10 - 12:31 PM
gnu 20 Aug 10 - 01:17 PM
Little Hawk 20 Aug 10 - 01:29 PM
Amos 20 Aug 10 - 01:48 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 10 - 02:33 PM
Amos 20 Aug 10 - 02:37 PM
Amos 20 Aug 10 - 04:14 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 20 Aug 10 - 04:39 PM
Little Hawk 20 Aug 10 - 04:45 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 20 Aug 10 - 06:04 PM
gnu 20 Aug 10 - 06:07 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 10 - 07:02 PM
Little Hawk 20 Aug 10 - 07:04 PM
Amos 20 Aug 10 - 08:19 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 10 - 08:58 PM
Little Hawk 20 Aug 10 - 11:25 PM
GUEST, Stilly River Sage 21 Aug 10 - 01:48 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 11:08 AM

Jaysus, Rapaire!! Spinning a bit?

Antigonish, for your edification.

Are the people there antigonads?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 12:08 PM

"I am hitting the long long trail to Halifax and points north and will spend the week incommunicado (I think) at a small arts studio up near Antigonish."

So...Chinga get tired of the heat down in Mexico? Needin' a little break in the Northland fer a bit? I think you are wise to go incommunicado, buddy, cos them rural people out that way don't take kindly to humans openly shackin' up with chimps, know what I mean? I'd be real discreet if I was you.

"I shall take photos."

You must be dumber than I thought! First off, them dirty mags like Penthouse and Hustler and Go Ape! won't publish photos of a man screwin' a chimp and they won't pay nothin' for 'em either. The only purpose them photos can assure is as confirmatory evidence when yer wife finally decides to hang yer sorry ass from the nearest lampost.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 12:27 PM

Sometimes I have a hard time figuring out whether you (CC) are more delusory than your sainted Author (LH) or vice-versa, or both.

Chinga works hard at her living, and I could never afford her rates, for one thing. She's not street scum. Unlike you , she bettered herself. Furthermore, I have a happy stable family which I do not intend to put at risk. And finally, the simiophila which you are trying to attribute to me is a distorted projection of your own secret desires to experiment in transspecies relationships. You are a really twisted monkey, Chongo, and deep down, you know it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 01:02 PM

Q. How do you get to Antigonish?

A. Take the T-Can (Trans Canada Highway) and turn left at the first set of lights.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 01:43 PM

Hey, I don't hide what I am! I got nothin' to hide. My life is an open book. I can walk down the street with my head held high, knowin' that I am a credit to my community and my species. My word is my bond. I ain't sneakin' off to Antigonish in the dead of night for no illicit rendezvous with no proskirt. Uh-uh. Not this chimp. I can believe you can't afford Chinga's exorbitant rates no more cos yer investments in mustard gas and white slavery just didn't work out that well with the recession, did they? Don't feel bad, cos things are tough all over these days.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 01:48 PM

Gnuser,

Ya wanna have coffee at the Halifax Airport Saturday morning?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 02:00 PM

You are a piece of work, CC. I dunno why I am even botherin' to talk to youse. You know damn well if you tried walking down the street with your head held high you'd get a tranq dart in the neck from the local Zoological Society enforcers. Don't make me laugh. I can see the headlines now: "Sharp-shooting Dog Catcher Tranqs Rare Chimp in Fedora on Main Street! To be Returned to Zoo!

Sheesh, it's bad enough that YOU are a fictional character but when you ALSO start making up shit it is fiction squared! You guys always did have a rep for slinging shit, ya know...I think I see why. You are one crazy monkey, no mistake.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 02:33 PM

America's Finest City, San Diego, California, has contirbuted numerous luminaries to the national dance of stars, including:

Ted Williams (1918) | Robert Duvall (1931) | Gregory Peck (1916) | Cameron Diaz (1972) | Tony Hawk (1968) | Phil Mickelson (1970) | Nick Cannon (1980) | Rey Mysterio, Jr. (1974) | Ted Danson (1947) | Reggie Bush (1985) | ...

and others.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 02:49 PM

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, a San Diego archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the Union-Tribune read: "San Diego archaeologists, after finding 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers"

One week later. the Columbus Dispatch in Ohio reported that
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Belmont, Ohio, Mr. Pat Patterson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Mr. Patterson has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Ohio had already gone wireless".

                   --Sciencey Stuff, May, 2010, p. 16.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 03:03 PM

new T shirt offering

Stop Obama's ground 0
terrorist mosque!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 03:22 PM

Rapaire:

I hate to break it to ya, pal, but that "May 2010" article has been floating around the 'Net since the early days of wireless. Around June 2000 or so...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 03:30 PM

Amos... your geography lessons were a tad lacking. Four hours on the road for a coffee (an expensive coffee at the aerodrome) is a wee too much for me, even if it were to mean being able to spend my coffee break with you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 04:09 PM

woo-hoo! 'spaw was written up in Sciencey Stuff ! !

That's BIG news......

even it if is way late.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 04:35 PM

So what the FLIP, eh? I just flippin' looged in here fer the first time in, like, maybe a week, eh? And what do I flippin' find??? I find my own flippin' BROTHER dissin' me here and sayin' a lotta turrible stuff about ME!!!

I am flippin' a gast, eh? A gast! Or is it a gassed? Well, anywyas, I would never of flippin' be-LEEVED that a brother of mine, a borned flippin' McBride of the fambly blood would say the things he has said about ME HERE!

You lissenin' Don? It is YOU I am talkin' about here, you dirty dog! You been badmouthin' ME all over the flippin' net. You bolthole! You fliphead! I otta never have nothin' to do with you after this, eh? It is, like, sooo unfair. Where is the love, man?

I am so ticked off at my flippin' brother that I am gonna tell the hole world what a total looser he is. Number 1, he is BALD! That's right. Ha! Ha! You are flippin' bald, man. That is why you were the baseball cap all the time, eh? It sure ain't to keep yer brains in coz you ain't got none, eh? You are in deep flippin' trouble, man, coz you called the cops on me. A brother don't do that to a brother. I am writin' you outta my will. I so can't belEEV you would do that to yer own brother.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 04:39 PM

Where is the love, man?



I think Chongo borrowed it so he could have some at all...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 06:04 PM

A brother don't do that to a brother.

Tough love, you flippin' teeny-weeny. Maybe he wants you to grow up and ....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 06:48 PM

So the idiot-boy has stuck his head outta the hole in the ground he's been hidin' in, eh?

You stole my truck you flippin' moron! And $150. You forgotten about that? What you got to say for youself about that, bolthole? Where are you anyways? Who's compyuder did you steal now?

- Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 06:56 PM

AHA! I knew you would show up, ya flippin' traytor! Whaddya mean I stole yer truck??? Fambly cant' steal from fambly! I just borrowed it fer awhile, eh? A truck needs to be drove on a longer trip ever now and then to clean out the flippin' engine valves, eh? So it, like, runs good, eh? You KNOW this, man. I was just doin' you a fvour, and this is the flippin' thanks I get! As fer the $150, I was just borrowin' that too, cos of I would need some money while on the road exersizin' the truck in case of I did not get back before things ran out and besides a guy has to eat, right? You got no cawse fer complainte. You are just splittin' hares and bein' a dick.

I did not steal no compuder. This is a public one I am at.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 07:21 PM

I have heard better excuses from a junkyard dog than from you, idiot-boy. How you gonna explane sellin' my truck to a total stranger for $300???? Do you know what happened? The fool painted half of it in a real bad shade of green! Now I gotta fix that and it is all your fault. You are so dead, man. You better HOPE the cops put you away fer a looooong time when they catch you. I told Officer Dana everything you done. Everything. She has lost all reespect for you, eh? You are toast. You are history.

What public compyuter? Where? I don't beleeve you. I think you stole one somewheres.

- Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 07:29 PM

That shows how much YOU know, ya moron! I gess that I musta been the one in the fambly who got all the branes, eh? You are sooo wrong, man. Sooooooooo wrong. It so happens that I am sittin' at a pubic compuder in a liberry at the McKenzie Liberry in Sudbury. There! So you was wrong, eh? Whaddya say, now, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 07:33 PM

McKenzie Liberry, eh? Yeah, I know the place. It is on McKenzie Street.

Okay, so I wanta hear you explain what gives you the flippin' right to sell MY truck for $300. Let's hear you talk yerself outta that one, eh? I want a full exdplanation, hear me? And don't leave nothin' out.

- Don

p.s. Men who are MEN get bald coz of there male hormoans. You won't. Trust me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 07:46 PM

You are lyin' about that male hormoan thing, Don. You are.

Okay. I was outta gas, eh? And outta beer, food, and cigarettes. That is not a good place to be in, know'm sayin'? So I hadda score some cash somewhere, and I am too honest to steal, eh? What could I do? I rented the truck to this bolthole in Elloit Lake. I told him he could, like, have it for just a couple of weeks if he gave me $500. He said $200. I said $400. He said $300. I said okay.

And that is, like, all there really is to it, man. I just rented it out, eh? I was gonna split the money with you too, but I been reconsiderin' that after all these bad things you been sayin' about me becoz I am startin' to lose my brogtherly love fer you at this point.

Anyways, I did have to spend some of it to get down to Sudbury and buy a couple beers and a pizza, so It has sorta dwindled down some, but...

HEY! The parking lot is full cops!!! I can see 'em thru the windows. Holy shit! I am outta here!!!! Later..

- Sha


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 07:49 PM

Ever have one of those nights? ;-)

I have transcribed Shane's last message as accurately as I could, in case he didn't get a chance to post it himself. Let us all pray for him, and hope that tomorrow finds him in a far, far better place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 08:46 PM

The Eighth Circle of Dante's Inferno would be preferable to being Shame McBride. As I said earlier, the boys in the prison will really enjoy some "fresh meat" even if it does smell like it's been dead for quite some time.

Don could withdraw his charges, but stuff like working a fraud on the sale of the truck isn't in Don's hands. The Shame of the McBrides is going up the river big time this time. He's a loogan punk, but I'll bet he'll hoop up with a daddy in a little while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 08:48 PM

Wouldn't Shame be better to call himself "Bland DRunk in Blind River"??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 10:31 PM

If an AUthor creates characters who fight alltime mit each offer, is he procheckjcting some rift in his personal nature? I think so, ja.



Liebenscheiss


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 11:21 PM

I made a post awhile back, but it seems to have disappeared.   Well, what I said was that it would be damn funny if they changed the name of the Blind River to "Bland River". LOL! I think I'll write to the Blind River Chamber of Commerce and suggest it.

I'm also quite flattered that the inestimable Herr Liebenscheiss has referred to me as an AUthor instead of merely an author. He clearly thinks very highly of my creative scribblings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 11:30 PM

You may be right, LH. Or there may be a glitch in his Dragon Dictate which he uses to write-by-speaking. It has taken years to train it to manage his thick Austrian accent.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Aug 10 - 11:35 PM

Spaw is written up in Sciency Stuff please explain.



Didn't Spaw retire from Los Alamos National Labs in the 80's? Is he still at "Oak Ridge"? I thought he put the X ray laser ( and worse yet, Xray maser) behind him long ago after the 'accident'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 10:49 AM

He put the x-ray Mauser behind him. Here is the only surviving picture of it, as built to Dubya's design specifications. (These days he can't put ANYTHING behind him or it will dissolve.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 11:11 AM

That is one truly horrible looking weapon, Rapaire...it makes me shudder with revulsion just to look upon it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 11:30 AM

I am off to Nova Scotia, her rock bound coast,
Where the hills are green and the wind blows free
And if I am away from a keyboard on the net,
Will there never be a MOAB sib to post for me?

Tonight I board that silver plane
And cross the nation in the night
And there'll be no WiFi nor any 3-GS
For my long long hours in that long long flight.


I will leave fair Halifax on Sunday morn
Who knows but I shall come to harm?
And I'll soon disappear from the networks there
For a week in the boonies on my cousin's farm.

I am off to Nova Scotia, dear friends, farewell
Though it pains me that we soon must part
And if posts from me are few and far between
I will still carry Mom with me, inside my heart.

So fare thee well, dear MOABites all
May your posts here rich and frequent be!
For if I find out you have let our Mother down,
I will haunt you all to eternity!

Wilson Begawn Gadabout
Travels of a Lesser Mind
Hope, Faith and Charity, pubs.
Lunenberg, 1997


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 11:33 AM

Why Rapaire can't forget Korea, 1954...scroll to image.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 12:31 PM

Amos, I will be glad to petition the judge in Sudbury to get Shane released early so that he can post for you while you are away.

Failing that, maybe Chongo would be willing to do it. For a fee, of course...

Failing that, well....this is a really outside chance, but I'll call up Mr Shatner and see what he says.

Keepa you fingers crossed! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 01:17 PM

The Shat doesn't have you on call-block anymore?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 01:29 PM

I am truly shocked that anyone would even make such an assumption!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 01:48 PM

Thanks, LH, but I just remembered that silence is golden and have decided to do it the Zen way. What is the sound of an absent post?


So no volunteers will be needed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 02:33 PM

In 1954 Rapaire was in the 4th Grade and all of 9 years old. A hellion, true, but they still didn't send him to Korea (then).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 02:37 PM

Dang, Rapaire, I coulda sworn one of those GI's looked like you...

Sorry.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 04:14 PM

Little Hawk goes shopping for back-to-school wear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 04:39 PM

My name is really gettin' around now. Them new campaign shirts are sellin' like hotcakes.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 04:45 PM

I have 3 of those shirts. Doing what I can to put a chimp in the White House. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 06:04 PM

Hello MOM,
I'm just checking in to say hello to the sibs. I'm about as near to Blind River as I've ever been, LH. Just a bit southwest, I think. Hot and humid, but beautiful and green, green, green!

Sad news, though. My 97-year-old grandmother passed away on Wednesday evening. I'll miss her funeral as it will be on Tuesday the 24th, but I think she won't mind. I'll think about her on that day, and maybe the thoughts will reach her. The 24th would also have been my grandpa's 101st birthday, but he died two years ago at age 99. So, I think that means I'll be hanging around on earth for about 56 more years myself. That's good, I like it here.

Bye for now, keep MOM at the top,
Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 06:07 PM

My condolences.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 07:02 PM

Likewise.

Hard to post anything right now; we were rear-ended and are both still recovering. Not much damage to car is apparent; the other driver left the scene.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 07:04 PM

97? Wow, that is quite an age to get to. I would not feel I'd missed out on much if I lasted that long on this Earth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 08:19 PM

I am glad Eiseley likes it here; we of Earth like her company as well.

Rapaire that is most arduous and most heinous of that wicked Idahoan rapscallion. I mourn that you should have to put up with such irresponsible flibbertigibbets in your area. For fie, I say. I hope you are both unharmed and not strained in the upper cervicals.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 08:58 PM

Well, Pat got the license number and it had originally been issued to a blue pickup truck and not a silver compact car. Cops say the chances of catching to perp are slim to none. Our car doesn't seem damaged much, except for a scratched bumper and a hitch possibly out of alignment. An Element is built to shrug off such minor annoyances.

I was bringing Pat back from physical therapy for her back and hope that there wasn't more damage done. She was checked by the EMTs -- we did a U-turn and parked in front of the Fire Station (Eiseley: this was on Pocatello Creek Road, just before the east-bound stoplight). It was only about a block away and I figured that the EMTs wouldn't get better service anytime soon. She was okay except for a total adrenaline dump -- BP was 169/96; yesterday it had been 106/70 or something like that.

Gonna have aching muscles.

Eiseley, I am sorry to hear about your Grandma. Grandmas and Grandpas are hard to replace. They're the only people allowed to spoil children regardless of the child's age.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Aug 10 - 11:25 PM

Damn! Well, the important thing is that you and your wife escaped serious injury.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Aug 10 - 01:48 AM

MOM, I'm on the road tomorrow. Nevada Barr and Agatha Christie are coming along for the ride.


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