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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 25 Sep 10 - 02:17 PM
Amos 25 Sep 10 - 04:02 PM
gnu 25 Sep 10 - 05:30 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 10 - 05:41 PM
Amos 25 Sep 10 - 06:03 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 10 - 06:23 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 10 - 06:25 PM
gnu 25 Sep 10 - 06:28 PM
Acme 25 Sep 10 - 06:37 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 10 - 07:39 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 10 - 08:54 PM
Acme 25 Sep 10 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 10 - 11:04 PM
Eiseley 26 Sep 10 - 12:29 AM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 10 - 06:32 AM
Acme 26 Sep 10 - 12:02 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 10 - 12:07 PM
Acme 26 Sep 10 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 10 - 12:51 PM
Amos 26 Sep 10 - 04:43 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 10 - 07:21 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 10 - 08:11 PM
Amos 26 Sep 10 - 08:46 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 10 - 09:30 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 10 - 09:49 PM
Amos 26 Sep 10 - 11:06 PM
Eiseley 26 Sep 10 - 11:32 PM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 27 Sep 10 - 12:21 AM
Acme 27 Sep 10 - 12:30 AM
Hamish 27 Sep 10 - 03:03 AM
gnu 27 Sep 10 - 06:02 AM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 10 - 07:31 AM
Rapparee 27 Sep 10 - 10:11 AM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 10:16 AM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 10 - 10:24 AM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 10:32 AM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 10 - 10:37 AM
Eiseley 27 Sep 10 - 10:56 AM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 10 - 11:40 AM
Acme 27 Sep 10 - 12:17 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 12:40 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 12:47 PM
gnu 27 Sep 10 - 02:30 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 03:04 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 03:48 PM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 10 - 04:26 PM
Janie 27 Sep 10 - 06:32 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 07:30 PM
Janie 27 Sep 10 - 07:32 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 08:35 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 02:17 PM

And exactly what, pray tell, is wrong with being among the "dirty disreputable rough good-for-nothing disorderly...raparees", pray tell? Most of them are, like the Hooters restaurant chain, "delightfully tacky yet unrefined" -- except, of course, for those of us who are quite refined but are still delightfully tacky.

Of course, Patrick O'Brien is merely a novelist, a writer of untruths, someone who tells lies and gets paid for it, a mechanic if you will, someone "in trade". His is quite beneath the notice of those of us who lie and don't get paid for it, who do it for the pure art of the thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 04:02 PM

Oh come on--how did you land that pash spot at the Yickahawma Community Library if not by lying and hoping for pay for it??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 05:30 PM

Lying in the bushes? Rap would never actually lie. Stretch the truth a tad perhaps, but never lie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 05:41 PM

I do not ever lie. I tell nothing but Truths. Sometimes several Truth at the same time, and sometimes they might not be related to that poor, feeble crutch humanity calls "Reality", but they are Truths none the less. For what is Truth but the Way Things SHOULD Be, rather than the way they are?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 06:03 PM

Rapaire de MOAB, first in truthiness, first in self-accreditation, first in the hackles of his countrymen.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 06:23 PM

How could I be less? If I were less, then I would not be what I am, and since I Am Who Am I cannot be less than what and who I am.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 06:25 PM

Indubitabobbily. Who could argue with such perfectly circular steel-trap logic? Who would even try?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 06:28 PM

I expect the rogue cackles at hackles. He's a gay blade, a bon viant, a gadabout who defies definition. But a liar? Nay, never. I'd trust him with my libation card.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 06:37 PM

I'd only trust him with my library card.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 07:39 PM

Chongo trusts no one with his libation card. After all, no one else would be able to keep up with his normal capacity when using it, so what would be the point really?

I am at a loss to explain his longevity. ;-) He is living proof that smoking and drinking are both extremely beneficial to lengthening the lifeftime. Either that or he was naturally intended to live at least 150 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 08:54 PM

Hi folks. I had a migraine most of the day, probably due to a low pressure front coming in. The barometer is rising now, and the headache is finally receding into the distance, thank goodness.

So, I've been playing guitar upstairs, learning some great Mary Chapin Carpenter tunes...and I had a thought strike me very strongly all at once and I want to tell you.

I love you guys. Love is all we've got to see us through. And that's how it is and shall be. God bless all of you.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 10:37 PM

Thanks, Little Hawk. I agree! I hope you continue to feel better.

I see some of these silly riffs come along here and think "yes, that's a good one!" and watch people tease out more material. Little lamp who made thee, etc went on to great stuff. And all of the name calling - in this thread, it's a good thing!

I wish Rap would write some more of those stories, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 11:04 PM

All right, I'll see what I can do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 12:29 AM

One of my librarian's sons wants to build a trebuchet in his back yard. Will you share that story with us---and then may I pass it on to the young 'un, Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 06:32 AM

A trebuchet is a terrific thing to have, specially if it's a high quality trebuchet. A really good one can hurl a rock the weight of a Volkswagen about half a mile. With such a device, and an experienced crew to load and operate it, one can keep the entire neighborhood behaving sensibly, and no one will get out of line.

I told Chongo about this, and he was intrigued, but he says that he prefers the tommy gun, because it's a far better short range weapon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 12:02 PM

Did you see the episode of Northern Exposure when Chris flung an upright grand piano with a trebuchet he built? The instrument disintegrated in the air and the keys dropped off as it flew. I had the feeling that was a scene that had exactly one take. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 12:07 PM

I hate to think of the sound it made when it landed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 12:19 PM

Not sure the key, but it was a little flat.

LH, I just read about your poor Rennie on the pet thread. I'm so sorry! We really enjoy dachshund antic stories here at MOAB. Do you envision adopting/rescuing/ whatever another one soon? MOM sure enjoyed watching him climb the stairs up onto the porch. She wondered what the biomechanical mechanism was that allowed him to climb stairs at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 12:51 PM

The wreckers were out.
        It had been a long time, too, since they had lured steamboats and barges and big motorboats to the shoals and rocks of Triangle Lake. But they were again plying their deadly trade on stormy nights and nobody seemed to be able to catch them.
        Everyone knew how it was done. How a barge, trying for the shelter of Quincy Bay would see through storm-blinded eyes what would seem to be the lights of other boats rocking gently at anchor. And how the storm-tossed barge would turn towards those beckoning lights, hit the rocks and split open, spilling its cargo into the river where it would wash ashore and into the hands of the wreckers.
        The lights of the anchored boats were really lanterns tied to horses, and the horses were then led over gently ground. Seen during a storm it was remarkably deceptive, and lots of rivermen and -women were killed when the wreckers wrecked their craft.
        We had heard about the wreckers, of course. Everyone had. We even talked about them during recess at school. But we were kids, after all, and we were more concerned about our history project.
        I was taking history, Tony was taking history, Ted was taking history. Martha was taking herstory, so she didn't have a project due. But we did, and since it happened that we were all studying the Middle Ages at the same time we decided to do one big project instead of three little ones. Our teachers agreed, as long as we said who did what.
        We talked about lots of things. Ted wanted to build a motte and bailey, but we couldn't find a good place. Tony wanted to make chain mail, but he found that the stamps cost too much. I wanted to illuminate manuscripts, but I looked and looked and couldn't find the right light bulbs for it.
        So after much thought and discussion and reading and arguing and cogitation and arguing and research and arguing we decided to build a trebuchet.
        Most people don't know what a trebuchet is. They confuse it with a ballista or an onager and really get mixed up. And one guy tried to tell us that a trebuchet was something used in mining! Ted told him that he didn't know his trebuchet from a hole in the ground!
        In case you've been confused by people who don't know, a trebuchet is what people in the Middle Ages used to throw heavy rocks a long distance. They did this to try to destroy castle walls (trebuchets weren't used much from inside castles, only from the outside).
        A trebuchet was a long pole mounted in a frame so that it tilted. One end was very close to the pivot point and the other far away. A big, heavy weight, like a bunch of rocks in a basket, were mounted to the short end of the pole. A basket was put at the end of the long part of the pole. The pivot was high up, so when the basket end was down the weight was up high. Rocks or burning logs or maybe dead horses were loaded into the basket. When the rope holding the basket down was released the long end went up while the short, weighted, end went down. When the short end hit the ground the stuff in the basket on the long end went flying off to hit a castle wall or something.
        Ballistae (it's a Latin word) and onagers worked completely differently. You could say that the trebuchet was the long-range artillery of the Middle Ages.
        And we were going to make one!
        Mom said that we could design it at home, but it we were going to make a full-sized, operating trebuchet we had to do it elsewhere. She suggested that we make it so it could be taken apart and moved around, which seemed to be a good idea.
        Naturally, we decided to build it in the Swamp. There were lots of advantages to that, the biggest being that if it didn't work nobody else would know. If it did work we could take it to school and demonstrate it by flinging something heavy.
        Of course, it took several weekends to build, but by the end of October we were ready for a real test.
        It was a day of sometimes rain and sometime nice, that Saturday. Ted and I took our raincoats and Tony had an umbrella. The sky to the northwest was very dark and lightning could sometimes be seen. We wondered if we'd get caught in a thunderstorm, but Tony said that storms to the north would pass us by.
        It was early afternoon when we reached our trebuchet. We pulled off the branches and stuff that we used to hide it and with a lot of work dragged it out to the middle of a clearing.
        "Woof!" said Tony. "That's really heavy."
        "Yeah," agreed Ted and I.
        But there it stood, its twenty-five foot long throwing arm tilted towards the sky.
        We jumped up and grabbed the rope attached to the basket end -- the light, long end -- and pulled it down until it touched the ground. We tied it to a tree and took a rest.
        We discussed what to throw: Ted wanted to throw a bunch of rocks, I wanted to throw some old car parts we'd found, and Tony wanted to throw Ted. We talked Tony out of it, and he agreed with both of us: toss some of each.
        So we gathered some rocks and some old car gears and kept looking at the storm clouds.
        "I guess," observed Tony, " that they're really getting it on the river."
        "Yeah," I agreed. "I wonder if the wreckers and working today?"
        "I hope that if they are they get caught," said Ted. "There's lots of sheriff's deputies and state police and FBI guys and Quincy police and all out looking for those bums!"
        While we were talking we were moving rocks and stuff near the trebuchet. We planned more than one shot!
        Then it happened. One of us -- nobody ever remembered who -- moved a rock and not one, not two, not three -- SIX skunks came out.
        "Oh boy," said Tony.
        "Oh, oh," observed Ted.
        "Oops!" I agreed.
        The skunks started walking toward us, and we backed away.
        "Nice skunky," said Tony.
        "Gooooood skunky," said Ted.
        "Ah, yeah, nice skunky," I said.
        "Err, what'll we do?" Tony asked.
        "I guess keep walking backwards and don't make any sudden moves," I answered.
        And we did. We backed over rocks and bushes and through stickers and places full of water and still the six skunks skulked slowly toward us.
        Ted finally tripped over the arm of the trebuchet. We were sure he was a goner, but he managed to scramble to his feet and keep backing away.
        And the six skulking skunks stepped onto the end of the throwing arm of the trebuchet.
        I don't to this day know why I did what I did next. Both Tony and Ted promised me lots of great things afterwards: money and cake and motorboats and ice cream and money and a real, new car and money and they said that they'd be forever in my debt, but they still haven't paid up.
        And all I did was grab the hatchet and cut the rope holding down the trebuchet's throwing arm.
        The first throw was a real stinker. The six skunks rose into the air on the end of the arm and when the weighted part stopped, off the skunks flew towards the stormy northwest. They flew so fast and so far and so high that we very soon couldn't see them at all.
        Unfortunately, when the big box of rocks we used for a weight hit the ground it broke. The rocks spilled out and the long throwing end, now heavier, fell back to the ground so hard that it broke.
        "You broke the trebuchet!" accused Ted.
        "Saved you from the scandalous stink of six skulking skunks, though," I replied.
        "Right!" said Tony. "We can always turn in our notes. We don't have time to make another trebuchet and we can just report on what we did. It should be worth an 'A'."
        "I wonder," I wondered, "what happened to those skunks?"
        "Probably gave someone a surprise," chortled Ted.
        "I wonder how far we flang 'em?" inquired Tony.
        "Just far enough, thanks to good old Mike. We'll always own him favors for saving us from a stinking," said Ted, and Tony heartily agreed.
        So we walked home, and since we were early we finished writing up our reports on the trebuchet and then helped Mom cook a great supper of car, calamari, catfish, carrots, cake, cauliflower and cool-aid.
        The late news announced the arrest of the wreckers. They had, as usual, been plying their nefarious trade in a humdinger of a storm. A barge loaded with gold dust, the Jezebel Z., was maneuvering closer and closer to the treacherous shoals of Triangle Lake.
        Suddenly the horses bolted when, according to the wreckers themselves, "it started a-rainin' skunks!" The captain of the barge saw the lights he assumed to be in a safe harbor suddenly toss and turn every which way and ordered his vessel back out to the main channel and safety.
        Foiled, the wreckers fled. Blinded by skunk fumes they ran right into the waiting police roadblocks. Arrested, tried and found guilty they were "hung in irons between the tides," the traditional penalty for piracy in Illinois.
        During the newscast Ted, Tony and I were really excited, jumping up and down and yelling "that's where they went!" and "great distance!" Mom asked us to please tell her what it was all about, but we looked at each other and told her the truth: that she'd never, ever believe us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 04:43 PM

Condolences to LH and kudos to Rapaire for his magnificent tale, definitely BS of the very first water, the top drawer, and the bluest ribbon.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 07:21 PM

Eiseley made me do it. Blame her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 08:11 PM

A marvelous tale indeed. If it did not happen, it should have happened.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 08:46 PM

You're awfully irresponsible for an obsessive solipsist, Rapaire...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 09:30 PM

When you are the creator of all you can be as irresponsible as you wish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 09:49 PM

Solipsism means you never have to say you're sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 11:06 PM

Strikes me as kinda lame to blame Eiseley. You don't suppose a little "reality" is creeping in and unbalancing your perfect solution to the hectic, dangerous, world, do you?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 11:32 PM

Thanks, Rapaire.

Hmmmm, I wonder how far across town I could fling a Volkswagen-sized boulder? I wonder how far I could fling a golf ball? With the proper trigonometry I'll bet I could lob one of those things into thy backyard while you're away---if Tom gets the trebuchet built in time.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:21 AM

Papaire, when you posted: "When you are the creator of all you can be as irresponsible as you wish."....at first,(and I misread it), I thought you posted: "When you are the creator of all you can be as irresistible as you wish."

Just sort of a chuckle to myself!!

Wink,
GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:30 AM

Astonishing who reads this thread.

I've lightened the southwest corner of the house by a few pounds by sweeping and mopping the floor in my son's room. Tons of dust and grit. I don't think this will make the planet tip any further, but in case it does, that's why.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Hamish
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:03 AM

I never read this thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 06:02 AM

How could you? This thread is all in Rap's head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 07:31 AM

Yes, but Hamish is just another creation of Rapaire's, remember, so it IS possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:11 AM

Look, I know that I created all things because whenever I walk into a room or something people look at me and declare, "Oh my God!" and "Dio mio!" and "Oh Lord...."

Res ipsos loquitor, as they say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:16 AM

Rapaire means "Res ipsa loquitur", the thing speaks for itself. As usual, he always creates his clever sayings slightly off from what they normally are, so as to be preserve his brand identification.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:24 AM

I have a rather sore right shoulder. I think it's from using the danged mouse too much yesterday in a computer game I was playing. And NO, it's NOT what you're thinking...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:32 AM

I was thinking you had gotten ahold of Civ V, and not a minute too soon.

What were you thinking, with your guilty conscience, you???


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:37 AM

I was thinking about pulling the one-armed bandits at the casino. What were you thinking of? ;-)

What I did get ahold of was Total War Empire....(the 1700's). It's a truly amazing game, specially the naval battles with the wooden ships. It's simply incredible what they have done in this simulation. The Maratha Empire in India is surprisingly capable...very dangerous fellows in that century. My favorites to play so far have been the French, the Spanish, and the Dutch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:56 AM

French, Spanish, Dutch!? What would Admiral Nelson say? Long may the Royal Navy sail!

Heart of Oak

Come, cheer up, my lads, 'tis to glory we steer,
To add something more to this wonderful year;
To honour we call you, as freemen not slaves,
For who are so free as the sons of the waves?

Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men,
we always are ready; Steady, boys, steady!
We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.


We never see the French but we wish them to stay,
They always see us and they wish us away;
If they run, we will follow, we will drive them ashore,
And if they won't fight, we can do no more.

Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men,
we always are ready; Steady, boys, steady!
We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.


They swear they'll invade us, these terrible foes,
They frighten our women, our children and beaus,
But should their flat bottoms in darkness get o'er,
Still Britons they'll find to receive them on shore.

Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men,
we always are ready; Steady, boys, steady!
We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.

Britannia triumphant, her ships sweep the sea,
Her standard is Justice?her watchword, 'be free.'
Then cheer up, my lads, with one heart let us sing,
Our soldiers, our sailors, our statesmen, and king.

Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men,
we always are ready; Steady, boys, steady!
We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.
Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men,
we always are ready; Steady, boys, steady!
We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 11:40 AM

I tried the British too, and it's quite challenging...but the reason I enjoyed the French, Spanish, and Dutch more was mainly that I didn't know nearly as much about them as I do about the British, so it was new and interesting challenges to take on that appealed to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:17 PM

Is this a computer game, a device game (Wii, Playstation, XBox, etc.) or an online game?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:40 PM

To the mast nail our flag it is dark as the grave,
Or the death which it bears while it sweeps o'er the wave;
Let our deck clear for action, our guns be prepared;
Be the boarding-axe sharpened, the scimetar bared:
Set the canisters ready, and then bring to me,
For the last of my duties, the powder-room key.

It shall never be lowered, the black flag we bear;
If the sea be denied us, we sweep through the air.
Unshared have we left our last victory's prey;
It is mine to divide it, and yours to obey:
There are shawls that might suit a sultana's white neck,
And pearls that are fair as the arms they will deck.

There are flasks which, unseal them, the air will disclose
Diametta's fair summers, the home of the rose.
I claim not a portion: I ask but as mine
'Tis to drink to our victory - one cup of red wine.
Some fight, 'tis for riches - some fight, 'tis for fame:
The first I despise, and the last is a name.

I fight, 'tis for vengeance! I love to see flow,
At the stroke of my sabre, the life of my foe.
I strike for the memory of long-vanished years;
I only shed blood where another shed tears,
I come, as the lightning comes red from above,
O'er the race that I loathe, to the battle I love.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:47 PM

( I did not write that, nor know who did. It is called The Pirate's Song by some. I learned it from an old sailor long ago on a deck at anchor off Kerkyra.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 02:30 PM

Pirate Code of Conduct
Bartholomew Roberts Shipboard Articles 1721

ARTICLE I - Every man shall have an equal vote in affairs of moment. He shall have an equal title to the fresh provisions or strong liquors at any time seized, and shall use them at pleasure unless a scarcity may make it necessary for the common good that a retrenchment may be voted.

ARTICLE II - Every man shall be called fairly in turn by the list on board of prizes, because over and above their proper share, they are allowed a shift of clothes. But if they defraud the company to the value of even one dollar in plate, jewels or money, they shall be marooned. If any man rob another he shall have his nose and ears slit, and be put ashore where he shall be sure to encounter hardships.

ARTICLE III - None shall game for money either with dice or cards.

ARTICLE IV - The lights and candles should be put out at eight at night, and if any of the crew desire to drink after that hour they shall sit upon the open deck without lights.

ARTICLE V - Each man shall keep his piece, cutlass and pistols at all times clean and ready for action.

ARTICLE VI - No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them. If any man shall be found seducing any of the latter sex and carrying her to sea in disguise he shall suffer death.

ARTICLE VII - He that shall desert the ship or his quarters in time of battle shall be punished by death or marooning.

ARTICLE VIII - None shall strike another on board the ship, but every man's quarrel shall be ended on shore by sword or pistol in this manner. At the word of command from the quartermaster, each man being previously placed back to back, shall turn and fire immediately. If any man do not, the quartermaster shall knock the piece out of his hand. If both miss their aim they shall take to their cutlasses, and he that draweth first blood shall be declared the victor.

ARTICLE IX - No man shall talk of breaking up their way of living till each has a share of l,000. Every man who shall become a cripple or lose a limb in the service shall have 800 pieces of eight from the common stock and for lesser hurts proportionately.

ARTICLE X - The captain and the quartermaster shall each receive two shares of a prize, the master gunner and boatswain, one and one half shares, all other officers one and one quarter, and private gentlemen of fortune one share each.

ARTICLE XI - The musicians shall have rest on the Sabbath Day only by right. On all other days by favour only.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:04 PM

IT is something of a shame that young men no longer steer for glory. It lead to a lot of foolish misadventures, but it had a certain tang to it, which I miss.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:48 PM

If a man look sharply and attentively, he shall see Fortune; for though she is blind, she is not invisible. So sayeth Jack Donne, my friend for many a lifetime.

(I am practicing for meeting Rapaire at his Bideawee Inn on Friday...).



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 04:26 PM

Wonderful stuff, Amos!

Stilly, it's a history-based computer game which allows you to run the financial, political, mercantile, and military affairs of any one of a huge number of nations in the 1700s. Action rangers all over the globe and involves a number of great empires such as those of Spain, Great Britain, France, Austria, Sweden, Russia, the Ottoman Empire, Venice, Savoy, Prussia, and even the fledgling USA in its early revolutionary phase. The game commences in the year 1700, comprises 6-month turns which involve a tremendous number of actions and decisions, and can be played through to the year 1800. Other revolutions may occur in other countries if the existing rulers don't handle things well, and monarchs may be overthrown and replaced by republican forms of government, as happened in the USA. The religious struggle between Catholic and Protestant and Islamic and Hindu nations is also a significant factor.

But the best part of all is the naval battles which are something to behold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 06:32 PM

"You had best be practicing something other than innocent repartee to prepare for your coming encounter, Amos," said she who is naught but an innocent mule.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 07:30 PM

Now, you know I need no practice in repartee, sweet thang!! I was practice the whole "I call John Donne by his first name and even his NICKNAME, cuz as how we is so CLOSE" scam that Rapaire invented.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 07:32 PM

How handy are you with a knife?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 08:35 PM

For productive purposes, very. For attacking innocent solipsists unawares in a fit of contradiction, not so very...


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