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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 09 Nov 10 - 10:37 AM
Amos 09 Nov 10 - 11:14 AM
Acme 09 Nov 10 - 11:41 AM
Amos 09 Nov 10 - 12:18 PM
gnu 09 Nov 10 - 01:58 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 10 - 02:43 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 10 - 10:46 AM
Acme 10 Nov 10 - 11:03 AM
gnu 10 Nov 10 - 11:20 AM
Amos 10 Nov 10 - 12:59 PM
gnu 10 Nov 10 - 01:22 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 10 - 03:28 PM
Amos 10 Nov 10 - 04:21 PM
Acme 10 Nov 10 - 08:16 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 10 - 08:24 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 10 Nov 10 - 09:23 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 10 - 10:35 PM
Acme 10 Nov 10 - 11:02 PM
Amos 11 Nov 10 - 10:23 AM
Rapparee 11 Nov 10 - 01:12 PM
Amos 11 Nov 10 - 02:30 PM
Rapparee 11 Nov 10 - 02:41 PM
Amos 11 Nov 10 - 03:07 PM
Acme 11 Nov 10 - 06:24 PM
Amos 11 Nov 10 - 06:49 PM
Amos 11 Nov 10 - 07:06 PM
Rapparee 11 Nov 10 - 07:49 PM
Eiseley 12 Nov 10 - 09:23 AM
Amos 12 Nov 10 - 10:06 AM
MMario 12 Nov 10 - 01:58 PM
gnu 12 Nov 10 - 02:49 PM
Acme 12 Nov 10 - 07:04 PM
Rapparee 12 Nov 10 - 10:43 PM
Amos 12 Nov 10 - 11:24 PM
Acme 13 Nov 10 - 12:13 AM
Amos 13 Nov 10 - 03:32 AM
Amos 13 Nov 10 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 13 Nov 10 - 12:13 PM
Amos 13 Nov 10 - 02:11 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 10 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 10 - 02:53 PM
Amos 13 Nov 10 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 10 - 04:29 PM
Acme 13 Nov 10 - 04:30 PM
gnu 13 Nov 10 - 04:51 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 10 - 07:11 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 10 - 07:24 PM
Amos 13 Nov 10 - 07:50 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 10 - 09:07 PM
Eiseley 13 Nov 10 - 10:22 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 10 - 10:37 AM

I apologize, Amos. I am certain that you are as certain about non-Heisenbergian uncertainties as I am.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 10 - 11:14 AM

Oh, to be sure!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Nov 10 - 11:41 AM

Whatever, just avoid the Hobbsian approach to your understanding of our MOAB lives - solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 10 - 12:18 PM

Was HEisenberg uncertain about Hobbesian parameters? Possibly nasty, potentially brutish, ambiguously short?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Nov 10 - 01:58 PM

Well, Kissmeass is upon us. But, last night I saw an advert on TV for a new thingywhotsit at Home O' The Hardware Man that is a stout knife which can be turned into shears for cutting veggies such as carrots. And it looks like it would be suitable for peeps with arthritis or diminished hand strength.

Kissmeass shopping half done in a jiffy.

Slicer Plus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 10 - 02:43 PM

Would you PLEASE give up on those TV-schlepped wimp-ass toys and get something that actually WORKS? Stop wasting your money!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 10:46 AM

Oh God, Mom! Just eighth from the very bottom! Please don't go slumming like that -- before you know it you'd be consorting with Evil Companions and worse, people like Shame McBride or even politicians. If you want cheap whiskey we'll get you some. And I hesitate to ask, but where did you get all that money?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 11:03 AM

I brought a glass of my favorite smoothie - banana, frozen strawberries, and a cup of yogurt. Mmmmm! Don't get brain freeze.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 11:20 AM

Rap... I shant spend that kinda money on my relatives.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 12:59 PM

Praise be to our noble Rapaire
Who saw Mom lying down there
Near the foot of the page,
And in virtuous rage
Flung her back to the top, through the air.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 01:22 PM

Rapairea sailing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 03:28 PM

Phooey, phooey on all your noses!
Mom was smelling like four roses
Wandering 'midst the trash and junk
Falling down from being drunk
And none to help her up again
None to cover o'er her shame
Save me, her best-belov'd kid,
So help up is what I did.
And we set beneath the leafy tree,
Wondering why Amos can't pronounce "Rapaire".
I said that it was because his brain is numb,
But Mom replied, "Nah, he's just plain dumb."

      --Ogden De Soto So-Called Poetry
       (Dell, Montana: Press Here!, 1907)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 04:21 PM

But never ask your Mom to tell
You why somehow you cannot spell
The names of poets large and small
And your own name not least of all.
FOr all your literate trappery
You fail at spelling Rapparee
And those of us who can don't care
To see you spell it as "Ra-PAYRE"

WInsome Rebuttal, Junior
Back Atcha in Spades and Other Pomes
Red Button Press, Nukem, IO 2009


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 08:16 PM

Another poetic rebuke. Someone is going to pull both of your poetic licenses one of these days. Then you'll have to confine your insults to haiku. And I'm sure you'll manage it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 08:24 PM

High upon the windswept summit
Of Woodpecker Mountain lived Amos McGurk.
He was a badman, a shootist, an outlaw
He lived by the gun and Noah's old spelling book.

Tho' more than two centuries had skidded
And slid down the razor of Old Father Time
Amos still lived using "Y" for the "Th"
F-types Esses, and iambic rhyme.

He'd "thee" and "thou" more than a Quaker
Until one day an Irishman came
Pointed out bluntly that Amos was backwards
And that English was living and never was tame.

He told him that English took words from all over
From Arabic, Latin, even Choctaw and Cree
And especially from the widespread Celtic language
"Such as the word for the bold Rapaire."

Amos broke down and wept 'til his eyes ached
He knew than that spelling was not his fortť
His back it was broken on "humour" and "humor"
And he was drawn upon the rack of misspellings today.

Many years have passed since Amos he left us
He was right that spelling should matter a lot.
But he realized then that he wasn't all-knowing
And for his criticisms no one gave a jot.

       -- Whittlesey Crumbcomb, Pomes I Writ All By Myself
          (Lewdington-on-Sur: Fiveshooter Press, 1883)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 09:23 PM

Dear Mom,
Guess what? They're paying me to go to school next semester! It will be my last one, too, before I walk across the auditorium and receive the expensive parchment stating my credentials. Just thought you'd like to know.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 10:35 PM

That's very nice, dear. Be a good girl now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 11:02 PM

So will you be down here in Texas in the spring at all during the semester, or just for graduation? My daughter (Moonglow) will probably be graduating from UNT also (undergrad, double major, English and Theater Arts).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 10:23 AM

Go out and reparee the car,
The weather is faree and warm,
But take caree not to go far,
Or in some laree come to harm.
But breath the pleasant summer aree
ANd shun the barree who sleeps within
For you've a flaree at pissing off
And causing swaree with clever sins.
Or sit a while in this charee
And do not glaree so and scowl!
Of trials my sharee you have caused
From many affarees dark and foul.
And so repent and in praree
Attempt to purge your many sins
Do not your soul thus imparee
But squaree accounts both out and in.
For though you debonaree are
No billionaree will you be
If you change not your bill of faree
And to disreparee tumble free.

"Bewaree, Oh, Bewaree"
Agnes Saint Claree
Songs from County Claree
Faree Play Press, Montclaree, NJ, 1984


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 01:12 PM

Eiseley's news is more important....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 02:30 PM

"Far from its being accidental, (T.S.)Eliot's fame was planned for, carefully cultivated, and nurtured once it arrived. From the first volume of Eliot's letters, newly revised and just released in Great Britain*, we learn that, in 1919, when he was 31, he wrote to J.H. Woods, his philosophy teacher at Harvard: "There are only two ways in which a writer can become important?to write a great deal, and have his writings appear everywhere, or to write very little." He chose the latter: to write very little but always to dazzle. "My reputation in London is built upon a small volume of verse, and is kept up by printing two or three more poems in a year," he wrote. "The only thing that matters is that these should be perfect in their kind, so that each should be an event." "

Commentary Magazine


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 02:41 PM

There, Amos. Is that better?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 03:07 PM

I cheer for Madam Eiseley
For living oh, so wisely!


Well done, ma'am.

Raparree, I am most impressed at your ultimate recognition of the Path of the True Phonemes. Praise be!!!

In other news:

"There is a photo here of the great, aging actress Sarah Bernhardt, sitting in a car, speaking with Houdini, who later recalled their meeting. She said to him, referring to her amputated limb: "Houdini, you do such marvelous things. Could you ? could you bring back my leg for me?"

Houdini replied: "Good heavens, Madame, certainly not; you cannot be serious. You know my powers are limited, and you are actually asking me to do the impossible."

He continues: " 'Yes,' she said, as she leaned closer to me, 'but you do the impossible.' "

Houdini is, he confesses, "thunderstruck at the extraordinary, unintentional compliment she was paying me." But he can only repeat that it is beyond his powers. Even his."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 06:24 PM

Wow! And all 32,056 of his messagees went along with the name changee. Does this means Joee is going to have to go through and edit all of our referencees to that other namee (what was it again?) so wee know who is being discusseed?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 06:49 PM

Oh give a cheer for Rapparee
Oh, trumpet it and drum it!
For he was for so long lost
Now to his senses cometh!
And peace at last upon our land
The song of bells is telling!
To celebrate our Rapparee
Who finally learnt his spelling!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:06 PM

All our arguments now are folly,
All their referents lost in one
Fast-struck reform! Our threads now sullied
With broken meaning, wit undone
The maps of laughter lost and all
The magic of debate gone far agley
The dust disturbed in Mom's majestic hall
And all the merriment now gone astray.
But still, despite such disarray
We must our spirits quick repair,
And bid fond welcome to our Rapparee,
And fond adieu to auld Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:49 PM

I shoulda changed it to "Amuss"....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 09:23 AM

Dorothy Parker was once accused of being outspoken.

"By whom?" she asked, indignantly.

Eiseley (not Eiselee)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 10:06 AM

LOL!!

AMazing that wit from the long deceased can still crack me up.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 01:58 PM

wow! 5000 post ago was 33333


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 02:49 PM

Congrats Eiseley! A hearty BRAVO!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 07:04 PM

Here's something else to crack you up. Or at least crack a smile. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 10:43 PM

Maybe I'll change my name back to what it was before: George W. Bush.
Then I'll plug socialism, unions, and stuff like that. Or even better, I'll change it to Eyeslee. Or NMario. Or Silly River Sage. Or gnoo. Or Bee-Dubyah-Ell. Or Kandu. Or Tweet.

The possibilities are endless....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 11:24 PM

I'd stick with what you got while you're ahead, Rap...at least it is within shouting distance of originality!!

That little kid has good taste, Still!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 12:13 AM

I love the way he picks it up in a couple of notes and is instantly happy. Don't you wish there was a way to do that for everyone?

Back from the meeting tonight, need to process photos this weekend. I'm thinking about how to replace this computer sooner rather than later. Every day with the big Adobe programs it gets so slow at the end of the day after heavy processing on the old one core. I need a strong quad core, and I'd like to build it myself. :) There is supposed to be a bonus on the way, I'm sure it will be puny, but maybe it is a start toward building one. MOM, I might have to clear off the dining room table to do the work, so you'll have to eat in the kitchen for a couple of days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 03:32 AM

Have your dining room table get in touch with Max' dining room table for solace and advice. His is an old veteran of this kind of abuse.

They have some kind of telepathic network, I think, dining room tables. A silent conspiracy to support the dinners of America.



S


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 10:48 AM

Twenty years ago today, when Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” was at the top of the charts, two engineers at CERN’s data handling division requested funding for the research project that would give birth to the web.

The proposal, submitted by Tim Berners-Lee and Robert Cailliau on November 12, 1990, laid out what they wanted to build and the resources they’d require. The team wanted to start by building a browser and a server. They estimated development would take six months, and that it would require “four software engineers and a programmer.” There are also some serious hardware requirements totaling tens of thousands of dollars (or is it Swiss francs?), but about a third of the requested funding was dedicated to software user licenses.

Here’s the overview:

    The attached document describes in more detail a Hypertext project. HyperText is a way to link and access information of various kinds as a web of nodes in which the user can browse at will. It provides a single user-interface to large classes of information (reports, notes, data-bases, computer documentation and on-line help). We propose a simple scheme incorporating servers already available at CERN.

MOM!!! HAPPY WEB ANNIVERSARY!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 12:13 PM

'Tis enough to bring a tear to the eye.

Oh yes, I remember the pre-Web days. Back when Men and Women wrote code in binary, sometime driven to inputting with an old manual typewriter and using l and o because of the Great 1 And 0 Shortage. I myself had to input an entire program of 1.5 million lines by sending the data to the computer by tapping out ones and zeroes on a manual telegraph key. Another time I had to do it by touching two wires together. And it was in machine language, too; none of these fancy-schmancy Cobol or Fortran for us! Another time the ARPAnet went down and I had to hold two pieces of telephone wire, one in each hand, and allow my body to be used as the splice -- took ten days before they got that repaired and all the time I was hanging fifteen feet in the air acting as a wire so the critical information could get through from Boston to Stanford.

Yeah, them were the days. Ya hadda be TOUGH!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 02:11 PM

And his brains have been fried and his eyes have been brown ever since that sorry day...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 02:47 PM

My eyes are deep, deep blue, blue like the depths of the ocean around a cream-colored atoll in the South Pacific and filled with mysteries and wonderful surprises.

I have this verified by my ophthamologist, as I had an appointment with him on Thursday last.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 02:53 PM

Heavens! And I quote from my ophthamologist's report of November 11, 2010:

"...BS has been running a little high..."

I didn't know they could tell that from an eye exam!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 03:33 PM

Blue with brown floaters, maybe...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 04:29 PM

No, no brown floaters. Just regular old annoying kind. There is some slight anterior embryotoxon (or, if you prefer, arcus cornealis). Also I have a slight ptosis (upper) in my left eye.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 04:30 PM

MOM, Cinnamon looks terrible, but the vet says she's just showing an allergic reaction, probably to something she ate. So she's taking Benedryl for the weekend. And probably getting some good dog naps in. Make room for her on the couch, will you? She needs to be a little spoilt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 04:51 PM

Thanks for the link SRS. Made me smile.

And, here's the Maine Bob Marley.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 07:11 PM

I really have nothing to say at the moment, but that's never stopped Amos and so I won't let it stop me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 07:24 PM

Mom, I called dibs on 38383, but it looks like that will happen on Monday when I'm going to be out of town or even Tuesday when I'll be flying to Chicago to visit friends and family over Thanksgiving. So I'll give the dibs to Eiseley.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 07:50 PM

You are just writhing with jealousy, sir, at the thought of my bottomless well of fecund creativity. But it does not reflectr well on your nature to let such base feelings turn you away from civility and drive you to the snarling vip'rous retorts of the small-minded man.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 09:07 PM

Yeah, that's it. Your bottomless well of fetid creativity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 10:22 PM

The Bob Marley was great. I wonder if it works for older children as well. I've been having a terrible time trying to strap Ben into his car seat lately. He wants to sit in the driver's seat every time!

He does have the goal of wearing a different Bob Marley T-shirt for his school picture every year of high school. So far, so good.

Eiseley


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