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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 15 Apr 07 - 11:35 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 07 - 10:25 AM
Acme 15 Apr 07 - 01:33 AM
Amos 14 Apr 07 - 08:21 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 07 - 06:14 PM
Amos 14 Apr 07 - 04:24 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 07 - 04:10 PM
Amos 14 Apr 07 - 03:48 PM
Amos 14 Apr 07 - 12:12 PM
Acme 14 Apr 07 - 12:05 PM
Acme 13 Apr 07 - 06:56 PM
Amos 13 Apr 07 - 05:07 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 07 - 04:47 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 07 - 03:27 PM
Amos 13 Apr 07 - 01:16 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 07 - 01:03 PM
Acme 13 Apr 07 - 11:58 AM
MMario 13 Apr 07 - 09:28 AM
Rapparee 13 Apr 07 - 09:16 AM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 11:42 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 07 - 10:31 PM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 07 - 09:54 PM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 09:36 PM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 02:25 PM
MMario 12 Apr 07 - 01:40 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 07 - 01:37 PM
beardedbruce 12 Apr 07 - 01:26 PM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 01:24 PM
MMario 12 Apr 07 - 01:14 PM
beardedbruce 12 Apr 07 - 01:10 PM
MMario 12 Apr 07 - 01:05 PM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 12:58 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 07 - 12:12 PM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 11:43 AM
MMario 12 Apr 07 - 10:58 AM
Acme 12 Apr 07 - 10:54 AM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 10:45 AM
MMario 12 Apr 07 - 10:41 AM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 10:39 AM
MMario 12 Apr 07 - 10:24 AM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 10:18 AM
MMario 12 Apr 07 - 10:07 AM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 09:30 AM
Rapparee 12 Apr 07 - 09:02 AM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 12:53 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 07 - 11:05 PM
Amos 11 Apr 07 - 08:42 PM
Acme 11 Apr 07 - 08:37 PM
Amos 11 Apr 07 - 06:34 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 11:35 AM

I wear such a ring as well, and I wear another ring inherited from my wife's father on my right hand, on the middle finger. The ring on my left hand is on the ring finger, and makes it impossible to lie to my wife. The middle finger on my right hand reveals truth to the world.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 10:25 AM

Does that include a ring around a finger? I've got one of those and have no memory of how it got there or why or when or...just that one day a really long time ago I woke up and there was a woman in my bed who said she was my wife. And I haven't been able to tell anything but the truth ever since....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 01:33 AM

Unless they are exposed to a subset, such as ring around the tub or ring around the collar. Then their memories are intact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 08:21 PM

It has a certain RIng of Truth, your story, which is only fitting, since the Ring of Turth itself is located not far from Hadron's Wall. The Ring of truth is an ancient stone circle, a good 100 meters in diameter, the inside of which stays green all year around, for erasons not ndersotod by science. Legend has it that anyone who is puzzling over a problem may step into the Ring of Truth at the right time of year and suddenly have complete clarity on the truth of things as they relate to their problem. Hundreds have reported this phenomenon, with complete certainty. The evidence, however, remains anecdotal and is unlikely to improve above that condition, in view of the fact that those who thus learn the truth seem to forget it completely the minute they step back out.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 06:14 PM

My grandpa had a Hadron Colluder. Best car he ever owned, he said. Used to put all nine kids and grandma into her and drive out to Bridle Falls for a picnic 'most every Sunday, in Summertime. They'd bring along fried chicken, homemade German potato salad, a tub full of beer and soda pop, a couple watermelons, some cane poles for fishin', a pot for boiling corn and of course the corn. The whole family'd get into the Hadron Colluder, Grandpa'd make sure she was in neutral and the brake was on, set the throttle, and then jump out and crank 'er up. He'd quick get back in, retard the spark, reset the throttle, set the choke, put 'er in gear, and stall out there in the drive. Then they'd move all the stuff to the wagon and he'd hitch up Jonah, the horse, and off they'd go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 04:24 PM

Then, sir, you shall become a Hadron Colluder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 04:10 PM

And I shall post stuff about Hadron's Wall, which is in Angleland, which is just around the 7d corner and spin from Flatland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 03:48 PM

Everytime I post something deep, Mom threatens to fall off the page.

It is my considered conclusion that Deep BS and Shallow BS are not wholly compatible.

I will post about grass trimmings, laundry soap and the travails of trash collection schedukles in suburban America.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 12:12 PM

Survival of the luckiest. This is a fine example of the mysterious vector of luck, never fully discussed in Darwin's expositions. It may actually be th eexplanation of what is sometimes called "junk DNA" -- those strands of DNA which are not involved in known building of parts.

My theory is that DNA is the shape it is because it is an antenna. It picks up subtle emanations from the spiritual plane, you see, and thus draws lovers together across impossible chains of coincidence, and other similar miracles of what is commonly called luck. The better your junk DNA is the better your luck quotient in dodoging catastrophes, finding windfalls, and so on.

I think we're onto something here.

If Mom would just get those grant applications out we could fund further study on this theory.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 12:05 PM

Mom, what are you doing in the cellar? A couple of more steps and you'd be out of site/sight/cite!

Maybe you were hiding from the tornado. It went to the north of us, killed one guy, tore up some buildings. Moonglow and I drove through that area about an hour earlier. Lucky timing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 06:56 PM

Thunderstorms to the right, tornado warning until midnight. Batten down the hatches MOM, it's gonna blow!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 05:07 PM

LOL!!! I wondered where you got the idea from!! :D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 04:47 PM

By the way, the braggadocio troppo is an FIE-approved fencing tactic, done with both epee and foil. It was first described by Capo ferro in the 1610 edition of his seminal book, Gran Simulacro dell'Arte Edell'uso della Scherma, as being the single most deadly technique a swordsman (or woman) could develop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 03:27 PM

Hi! I'm Rapaire! I'm a gas molecule!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 01:16 PM

Yeah, Stilly, I know it looks like quantum leaps in cognitive energy levels, but it is really just random ricochets from the unpredictable vectors of Rapaire's braggadocio troppo.. There's no straight line of reasoning to it, and it can come in from any direction, bounce of anything and be off in anew direction before you have figured out how to make sense of it, since there usually is none.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 01:03 PM

Last time I trust a boy in tights. I'll only trust
men in tights from now on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 11:58 AM

Whew! I guess I blinked--and you have moved lightyears ahead of the last topic. Or has Gluon been playing tricks, moving the thread around again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 09:28 AM

No wonder you ended up at Michael's -- the correct instructions are Second star ( I think it is Sandra Bulluck) to the right. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 09:16 AM

Pete told me "first star to the right and straight on until morning." And you know what? When I got there, there was Michael Jackson. Naturally, I immediately left and went searching for The Planet Of The Lost Folkie Bimbos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 11:42 PM

Sigh. Turn left at the first dramatization you come to, and you'll be right there....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:31 PM

1966. I'd be old enough to drink legally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:21 PM

Well, Rapaire had no such plans because he's stuck in 1965. It was as plain as the nose on your face....well, maybe not that plain...but it was obvious!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 09:54 PM

Hey, Mom!!! Guess what!! We don't have to abandon Newton's Laws!!

Well, actually, I had no plans to do so. And neither did Mom. Mom told me that gravity was The Law, just like the Second Law of Thermodynamics (which for some reason she always thinks of whenever she thinks of her children) and if Amos breaks ANY of those laws I'm to tell her right away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 09:36 PM

Hey, Mom!!! Guess what!! We don't have to abandon Newton's Laws!! Isn't that great!! Here, read this!!!

"NEWTON*S SECOND LAW OF MOTION, that pillar of classical physics, the
formula that says the force on an object is proportional to
acceleration, has now been tested, and found to be valid, at the
level of 5 x 10^-14 m/s^2.

This is a thousandfold improvement in
precision over the best previous test, one carried out 21 years ago
(Physical Review D, vol 34, p 3240, 1986). The new test was
performed by physicists at the University of Washington using a
swiveling torsion pendulum, a special kind of pendulum in which the
restoring force is not gravity (as you would have in a hanging
pendulum) but is provided by a very thin torsion fiber.

One
implication of Newton*s law is that the pendulum*s frequency (its
tick-tock rate) should be independent of
the amplitude of its swiveling (as long as the oscillation is
small). Looking for a slight departure from this expected
independence the Washington researchers watched the pendulum at
very small amplitudes; in fact the observed swivel was kept so small
that the Brownian excitation of the pendulum was a considerable
factor in interpreting the results. Newton*s second law is expected
to break down for subatomic size scales, where quantum uncertainty
frustrates any precise definition of velocity.

But for this experiment, where the pendulum
has a mass of 70 g and consists of 10^24 atoms, quantum
considerations were not important.

According to one of the
scientists involved, Jens Gundlach (206-616-3012,
jens@phys.washington.edu), this new affirmation
that force is proportional to acceleration (at least for
non-relativistic speeds), might influence further discussion of two
anomalies:

(1) oddities in the rotation curves for
galaxies---characterizing the velocity of stars as a function of
their radii from the galactic center---suggest either that extra
gravitational pull in the form of the presence of as-yet-undetected
dark matter is at work or that some new form of Newton*s Second Law could be
operating (referred to as Modified Newtonian Dynamics, or MOND); and

(2) the ongoing mystery surrounding the unaccounted-for
accelerations apparently characterizing the trajectory of the
Pioneer spacecraft"

Yayyyy!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 02:25 PM

See, that's the thing. Man may turn his hand to harmful purposes, but he still, deep inside, must rely on the all-perfect benevolence that is only made available through the Order of the Vowels. And, of course, also, the Order of Consonants.

I think we're really onto something here. It becomes more and more evident that of all the things for which we have language, whether in the real world or some un-real one like Pennsylvania Avenue in DC, no matter who, all must come under the benevolent guidance of the divine Alphabet. For better or for worse, it is deeply felt in ALL human endeavours. That is why it is the perfect thing to venerate and build a religion around.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 01:40 PM

Fay always did have good taste in cars.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 01:37 PM

Are you all aware that there are more vowels than those other letters in the word "Inquisition"? And in the technical term "Auto de Fe"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 01:26 PM

You just object to being upstaged by NUL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 01:24 PM

Non-displaying characters are like condoms. They are no part of God's design, but were invented by men, pursuing Mammon.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 01:14 PM

BeardedBruce appears to currently be First Consonent...*grin*

BTW - his posting leads me to ask.

What is the True Alphabet's policy regarding [shudder] non-displaying characters?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 01:10 PM

http://www.asciitable.com/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 01:05 PM

So, what about Alphanumerics? Are the numerals recognized? Could they precede the First Vowel?

How does the True Alphabet reccomend one should deal with "special" characters, such as the Ampersand and the semi-colen?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 12:58 PM

All letters are brothers, good Rapaire. The First Vowel who speaks for Deus Alphabeticus himself has pronounced this as the First Lesson. In His Heart, there is even room for the unlettered (shudder) and the un-alphabetized.

But, within this generous and benevolent love, the True Alphabet is first among equals, and those letters are more brothers than the ones you mention.

As for vowel movements, of course there have been many throughout the glorious History of the Church. The Elder's Wisdom in this regard is to accept vowel movements as part of life, but not to foment or particularly encourage them. The Elder's guidance in this respect is, if you must make vowel movements, do so in private.

In this respect there is a common wisdom between The Church of the Alphabet and that of the Christians.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 12:12 PM

So, ah, what about things like the intermixing of "I" and "J" or the use of "W" as a vowel? What about Hebrew vowels, which can be an important sticking point? Are there Secrets hidden in the Vowels, such as the one supposedly contained in the first four vowels of the Phonetic Alphabet: Alpha Echo India Oscar?

And what does the Church teach about shifting vowels around -- the so-called "vowel movement"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 11:43 AM

Ah, MM, you have laden me with exertions this morning. I have consulted with the eldest of the Alphabetic Elders concerning your excellent questions. They offer the following guidance:

What is the Canon of the Church of the Alphabet regarding such writings as "On Beyond Zebra"?

The Church encourages exploration of Alphabetical Glory in general, but admonishes adherents not to resort to heretical combinations or to lightly abandon the centuries of wisdom that are inherent in the modern alphabet.

What is the stance of the Church on Syllabic writing, heiroglyphs and Pictographs?

Deus Alphabeticus has worked many wonders over the millenia while perfecting Its Best Begotten Alphabet, the one which we are now famililar with. These ancient wonders are not to be made less of. However, it is clear that such works were early trials at revealing Alphabetic Glory, and are not substitutes for the Real Alphabet as we now know it. In evidence of which, you will find that there are no children's songs reciting the Pictographic alphabet, are there? Such a song is impossible -- it would never scan. (Little dog, big dog, three-quarters of a square, Thing lilke a tree with wavy hair. Something kind of like an ampersand but bigger, arrow pointing at a 45 degree angle, circle with lines coming out of it, lady-face-looking-right... it's hopeless!)

(Were Pictographs the results of pre-celtic mathematics?)

They were a pre-enlightenment effort by ancient peoples to discover the Glory of the True Alphabet, but not a successful one.


Most importantly, what is the Church's stand on dipthongs?

Thongs of all kinds are encouraged as part of the Church's policy of encouraging ecumenical brotherhood with other religious organizations such as the honorable Temple of the Golden Globes.

Hope this helps.

A.
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:58 AM

A Question O First Vowel!

(or perhaps that should be "A" First Vowel?)

What is the Canon of the Church of the Alphabet regarding such writings as "On Beyond Zebra"?

What is the stance of the Church on Syllabic writing, heiroglyphs and Pictographs?

(Were Pictographs the results of pre-celtic mathematics?)

Most importantly, what is the Church's stand on dipthongs? Can two vowel or consonents blend, or must it be a vowel and a consonent? Are tripthongs allowable?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:54 AM

A moment of silence, please. Mom says so.

Hats off.

Kurt Vonnegut has left the building.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:45 AM

Well, personally, I am always in favor of people getting laid. But as far as the Church of the Alphabet is concerned, we are concerned with higher things, and leave such decisions up to the individual.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:41 AM

Which would make me a Lay Person? Are you telling me I need to get Lay'd?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:39 AM

MM:

If you change your name to BBarry you can be First Consonant. How's that?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:24 AM

MOM!

Amos sez he's First Vowel and he's already High Priest of the Golden Globes. It's not fair!

Make him share!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:18 AM

I think you write heresy, good MM. You are, after all, a man of Ms. Your transcript strikes me as finctional -- it could not be authentic. But for it to be heretical, it must not only fly in the face of alphabetical orthodoxy, but it must ALSO pass the test of violating the doctrine of a religion.

I am half-tempted, therefore, to found yet another religious organization, the Church of the Alphabet, with its Order of the Vowels for those who wish to dedicate their lives wholly to the Purposes laid down so long ago by the Deus Alphabeticus, and the Order of the Consonants for those laymen who wish to particpate only part of the time.

Ideas for services, prayers, hymns, and doctrinal lessons are welcome. If someone could come up with a mess of absolutely improbable tales about the divine interference of the Alphabet God in the lives of ordinary mortals in ancient history, which we could then present as historical fact, not to be questioned, it would be really great.

A
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:07 AM

A recent partial transcription of various Linear 'B" fragments from anciant Crete have been rendered thusly:

And it shall come to pass, that the Great Vowel Shift shall come over the world, and the First shall be Last, and the Last shall be First. There shall be no more axes and oxen, but yxes and ixun shyll flierosh bunuyth the vyelts of the huyvuns ynd yll shyll bu ys irdyonud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 09:30 AM

No question. It is just not at risk, and hence does not need to be saved. The dignity of the First Vowel shelters ALL the letters from harm. This is the secret behind the fact that every other letter is always happy to form a phoneme with the First Vowel. Other vowels, with less dignity (I am thinking in particular of "Y" here") do not enjoy such universal support from their colleages in the alphabet industry. There are, for example, axes and oxen, but nary an yxe.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 09:02 AM

Oh. Well, lap my a and call me a ucker! I kinda alway thought " " wa kinda important.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 12:53 AM

The First Vowel has no need of having his "S" saved, sirrah! ;>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 11:05 PM

You think that will save your S???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 08:42 PM

Well, I had made a promise, and singing it "S" was like crossing my fingers, in case I forget...er...something like that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 08:37 PM

S ?

You missed. One letter for the whole, and you missed it.

Are your hands shaking still from that last performance?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 06:34 PM

Why, MM! Younever said!!! :D I'll put one in next time.


S


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