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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 28 Mar 07 - 09:15 AM
MMario 28 Mar 07 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 28 Mar 07 - 09:14 AM
MMario 28 Mar 07 - 09:08 AM
Amos 28 Mar 07 - 12:04 AM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 08:43 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 05:54 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 05:34 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 04:35 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 04:31 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 03:22 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 01:18 PM
MMario 27 Mar 07 - 12:27 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 12:08 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 10:41 AM
MMario 27 Mar 07 - 10:32 AM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 10:24 AM
MMario 27 Mar 07 - 09:42 AM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 09:41 AM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 12:56 AM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 12:54 AM
GUEST 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 AM
Acme 26 Mar 07 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 10:26 PM
Acme 26 Mar 07 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 09:06 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 08:10 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 08:07 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 07:10 PM
MMario 26 Mar 07 - 04:23 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 04:20 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 03:12 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 01:34 PM
Acme 26 Mar 07 - 01:29 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 12:55 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 12:20 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 12:08 PM
Acme 26 Mar 07 - 10:30 AM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 08:49 AM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 12:38 AM
Rapparee 25 Mar 07 - 08:52 PM
Acme 25 Mar 07 - 08:49 PM
Rapparee 25 Mar 07 - 06:30 PM
Amos 25 Mar 07 - 04:36 PM
Rapparee 25 Mar 07 - 11:08 AM
Amos 25 Mar 07 - 08:38 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:15 AM

Well, I have to buy a set of                   today, so that we can do RSS and similar things at work. I might buy two of them -- depends on the cost.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:15 AM

not side-splittingly funny - but amusing enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:14 AM

I recently purchased some vegetables so that I could hide the   
decayed mangoes we ran above the ceiling tiles in the basement. Of course, I had to buy some Cream of Wheat or it would show, but "very flat black" works well. Also, we got the ground-penetrating radar installed, so the guest room aspect of the basement is ready to go as soon as I do some touch-up. We've gotten a pair of extra-long   
dachshunds, and if anyone wants to come visiting just let me know!

How's that, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:08 AM

It's a MOAB Mad-lib!



1) a vegetable

2) an adjective and a fruit

3) your favorite cereal

4) an electronic apparatus

5) a pet


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 12:04 AM

That is really tempting.

You are such a weisenheimer!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 08:43 PM

I recently purchased some          so that I could hide the                               we ran above the ceiling tiles in the basement. Of course, I had to buy some               or it would show, but "very flat black" works well. Also, we got the                installed, so the guest room aspect of the basement is ready to go as soon as I do some touch-up. We've gotten a pair of extra-long             , and if anyone wants to come visiting just let me know!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 05:54 PM

Oh, fir, sirrah!! You are projecting again. I wouldn't have a green laser rapier if you offered me one.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 05:34 PM

Brag, no. State a fact, yes. But your jealousy of my recently acquired rapier and my green laser pointer is so overwhelming that I shall never say anything at all every again about stuff. Not even that I was recently informed that I won a big lottery I don't remember entering.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 04:35 PM

I seem to recall someone bragging about a green laser-stick because it was so geeky...and accusing someone else of envy over it. Oh, and a certain newly acquired sword, and some other odds and ends.

Bluff and posture if you will, but I am confident in my analysis.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 04:31 PM

Amos, Amos. I do not "brag" about what I have. Were I to do so I would brag about having rhythmn, having music, having my girl, and who could ask for anything more? I packed up all my cares and woes and left my troubles on the doorstep when I set sail on the GS Lollipop to search for where the Big Rock Candy Mountain, 'way up high, overlooks Fiddler's Green, at the hour when the ship comes in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 03:58 PM

Knowing you, if you HAD one, ya woulda been bragging about it long since; ergo, quod erat demonstrarum, post hoc ET propter hoc.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 03:22 PM

What makes you think I don't already have one?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 01:18 PM

The projection would of course get larger to scale as the projector moved away from the target plane. They moved them close together for the purpose of the photo, I suspect.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:27 PM

if that is suppossed to be a full size keyboard then the unit is considerably larger then a matchbook. By about 1600 % I would guestimate, mayhaps more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 PM

Dude, if you want to look like an übergeek, pull this out of your pocket and start typing on the wall.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:08 PM

The first letters spell "BPSSSMTHPBCAA" which is the sound a flat cat makes when it's angry.

True, a simple laser pointer isn't the essence of geekdom. But a green laser from Thinkgeek makes you one of the smart masses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 10:41 AM

Besides which, pointing at PowerPoints with a laser beam is not the earmark of Geekdom, but of being A Bureaucrat. Ther is still a difference.

B is for Bureaucrat, boss of us all,
Pointing at Powerpoint slides on the wall,
Speaking in poly-syllabic exhortions,
Subscribing to bureaucrat-mindset distortion.
Salaried Bureucrat, well-fed and placid,
Messing up workers with mandates half-asséd
Thinking in boxes, and process, and flow,
Half-human above and necrotic below;
Prince of the org chart, and office-ware fashion,
But short of emotion, and empty of passion.
Child, take a warning, when seeking a hat,
And do not aspire to become someone fat,
A dull-witted slide-showing fat Bureaucrat.

Purdy Darnslick
Country LEssons in a City Soul and other Rhymes
Painful, Sloe, Lehrner, New Athens, 1957


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 10:32 AM

MOM!

Amos and Rap are havin' a geek-war!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 10:24 AM

Thinking that a green laser-pointer makes you a geek, good Sir, is kind of like the error in which one thinks that having a penis makes him a lover.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 09:42 AM

You thought the comment about Hazel Stone went unnoticed, didn't you Rapaire?

She's a pretty good topic of conversation; though those hoodlum grandsons of hers will cause trouble if they catch you looking at her photos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 09:41 AM

Jealousy. Envy. I'm a geek and Amos ain't, ha ha ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:56 AM

And a very happy 16770 to you all.

Buck Rogers


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:54 AM



GLUON!!!.........GLUON!!!.......Bring that cookie back here, Gluon!!!!Her, Gluon!! Here, Gluon !!! Bring the goddamned cookie here!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 AM

It may be useful if you ever go deep down in salt water looking for those cast-off tomes.

Especially when it is mimsy among the borogroves, which makes the tomes wax outgrabe.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:46 PM

Pat: "Turn that thing off and go to sleep. You're going to catch the blankets on fire."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:30 PM

And at night, like now, you can actually see the laser beam. Light saber!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:26 PM

No, I have it because I can. It's kinda cool when the beam hits cut crystal, and on one color of bright pink it turn bright gold.

Of course, it WOULD be really neat if it DID burn holes in stuff....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:21 PM

A mile and a half range? To hit a powerpoint program screen across the room? Now that's overkill. I bet you have it to try to burn holes in something. Quilts? Forests? Airplanes? Fess up. They'll go easier on you if you haven't done it yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 09:06 PM

The City's CFO has been pointing out things on proposed-budget Powerpoint slides with his red laser for a couple years now. I will use my GREEN laser to do the same sort of thing, only I will be much, much cooler because EVERYBODY has a red laser.

Besides, Amos, if you gotta ask, you ain't a geek!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 08:10 PM

Mom, I'll be away for a couple of days while I build a new system. So, keep Rapaire and Stilly in line for me, and Bunn and Little Hawk and the dogduck and MMMMMario. Make them do chores or something.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 08:07 PM

Aside from scouting around underwater for books jettisoned by guilty high-school students, what will you use your new green laser for, Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 07:10 PM

Yeah, there are. But they don't like to admit it. Mowgli, it seems, was the nasty sort of drunk who felt it the height of humor to throw up on your good shoes. Mowgli isn't discussed much in Legion. Hazel Stone, on the other hand....

But what I wanted to tell Mom is that my green laser pointer came! Wavelength of 532 nm, <5 mW output (wish it was lots more!), and a range of over 9,000 ft. The only things cooler would be a) lots more output or b) a blue laser pointer, only they cost over US $2,000.00 and this was less than $90, exclusive of shipping. (I promised Mom not to look down the barrel or shine it in anyone's eyes.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 04:23 PM

oh wow! I never realized that The Banderlog were a branch of the Legion - or is it vice-versa?

So are there any guys left who knew Mowgli "back when"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 04:20 PM

No need to get TOO snooty, Mister R. You may recall that Idaho is where that drunken, besotted, immoral, banderlogue clan of a Legion calls home.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 03:12 PM

Well, Amos, I guess you get the chose where to live. And if you want to live near a place where gray whales and porpoises engage in...well, it's your choice. Now here in Idaho the porpoises and dolphins and whales are all well-behaved and good, upstanding citizens. Just the other day a police officer had to order one of THOSE sorts, a dolphin, out of the river and was chittered at for his efforts! Subsequent investigation showed that the dolphin had recently moved here from Southern California.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 01:34 PM

Wow... you guys are hot, hot, hot!! Pssssss----owwwoooooo!


LOL! Immoral porpoises are not made welcome here in San Diego. THey are turned back at the entrance to San Diego Bay and invited to move on down toward Baja. They can go frolic with those low-class gray whales in Bahia de los Angleles who can't think of anything but breed, breed, breed. And right out in public, too!! Really!! And you wonder why ours os the superior species!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 01:29 PM

Or take it down to Sea World and say it's for immoral porpoises.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 12:55 PM

You could say that it was for immoral purposes....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 12:20 PM

Actually, I wouldn't mind starting a riot, but I would want to start it in some way more amusing than bringing sagebrush across state lines!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 12:09 PM

No thanks. I woudln't want to start a riot.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 12:08 PM

No, no, I meant to Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:30 AM

Only if I can send you an equal amount of Bermuda grass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 08:49 AM

I can send you ninety or a hundred carloads of sagebrush if you'd like....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 12:38 AM

Ouch -- point taken!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 08:52 PM

AND you can eat it, saving on food bills.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 08:49 PM

Hey, Mom, I'm bushed. I've been doing yard work most of the weekend, and ended today by carefully prodding apart a prickly pear cactus that I planted too close to a desert willow about five years ago. It was difficult to do much around that tree without brushing against the cactus, and pulling out tall grass was always a hazard--a handful of cactus spines is a lot of work to remove with a bright light, a magnifying glass, and tweezers. Today I used one of my pairs of kitchen tongs (the long, 18" variety) and my spade fork to move the limbs around. Anyone want a sample of a variety of Texas prickly pear? I'll pack it and mail it. I'll miss having the beautiful flowers from this plant this year, but the other cacti in the yard will still bloom.

Amos, maybe you need to get out and do some gardening--you seem to have been mightily distracted by all of that golden orb stuff lately. Let me send you a cactus. It'll solve a couple of distractions--when you're at Exxon you can ignore the Viagra ads, knowing that perpetually stiff pricks are normal in the natural world.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 06:30 PM

We get ads (not yet for Viagra, though) and music when we pass gas. I can usually ignore the ads, but the music is awful and the speakers make it worse.

Why do I need music when I eat, when I shop, when I pass gas, when I go the toilet, when I am on public transportation? Why can't we simply enjoy silence? I find it quite refreshing.

But one thing that really gets to me is the announcements:

(soft music, and then) ATTENTION SHOPPERS! WE'RE HAVING A HALF-OFF SALE ON CONDOMS IN HEALTH AND BEAUTY AIDS! YOU'LL WANT TO STOCK UP ERIC LINE 43, PLEASE. ERIC, 43ENTAL FLOSS IS ALSO ON SALE. SO PICK UP YOUR CONDOMS AND DENTAL FLOSS AND SAVE AISLE 4, CODE 3 AISLE 4, CODE 3(back to soft music)

I like the stores that give their employees radios to communicate with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 04:36 PM

There was a great song challenge on a similar problem about nasal-spray SIldenafril (sp?) (generic Viagra).

I believe there may be an audio file available.

Speaking of such matters, which I rarely do, I have sworn never to patronize an Exxon station again. The last time I filled up at one, the minute I started pumping fuel, the screen lit up on the vendor panel with a brightly colored ad for Viagra and a loud, raucous advertising voice started issuing warnings to stop using it if your erection lasts more than four days, and to consult a doctor.

I am a pretty tolerant feller, most of the time, but I have to wonder what sort of society we have where priapism is loudly discussed by gas pumps. Having this unwanted dreck shoved into my eardrums as a penalty for pumping gas was a bit much, and seemed vaguely obscene, in purely Freudian terms. Nor did I appreciate being pimped by a pump in order to put ad revenue in Exxon's pockets as though they weren't making enough on fuel. The whole thing was even more distasteful than gas stations ever used to be.

I vote for an embargo.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 11:08 AM

Wouldn't be any Catholic Church I know about. Sounds like a "snob parish" and I would have complained directly to the Diocese. Bishops REALLY frown on that sort of thing.

Reminds me of an old joke, though. (Not true, but still funny.)

Three couples wanted to join the Catholics, and were told by the priest that they could join only if they abstained from sex for thirty days. At the end of the time they were all to come back and report their progress to him.

Thirty days later the old couple came round. They said that because of their age it hadn't been any problem at all. "You're in," said the priest.

The middle-aged couple said, "It was a problem. But we stayed apart as much as we could, even slept in seperate rooms. We thought good thoughts, prayed, and engaged in gardening, basketball, golf, and other physical activities that wore us out. Not only are we really fit, but we managed to avoid sex." "You're in," said the priest.

Then the young couple, twenty-somethings, reported. "We did all that too, and we were doing great. It was very, very hard for us, but we were succeeding. And then, last night, our hands touched over the carrots and, well, we succumbed."

"I'm sorry," said the priest, "but you can't join the church."

"Yeah, I thought so," replied the young husband. "And we're banned from Safeway, too."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 08:38 AM

Well, some folks use money as an index of spiritual progress, you know.

S


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