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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bunnahabhain 15 Feb 07 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 15 Feb 07 - 09:15 AM
Amos 15 Feb 07 - 12:44 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 07 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 07 - 10:48 PM
Acme 14 Feb 07 - 10:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 07 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 07 - 10:03 PM
Bobert 14 Feb 07 - 09:51 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 07 - 09:13 PM
Bobert 14 Feb 07 - 07:54 PM
Acme 14 Feb 07 - 07:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 07 - 07:20 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 07 - 07:00 PM
JennyO 14 Feb 07 - 06:55 PM
Amos 14 Feb 07 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 07 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 07 - 05:23 PM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 14 Feb 07 - 04:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 07 - 03:22 PM
Amos 14 Feb 07 - 01:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 07 - 01:23 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 07 - 12:42 PM
Acme 14 Feb 07 - 12:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 07 - 12:35 PM
JennyO 14 Feb 07 - 10:48 AM
Acme 14 Feb 07 - 10:31 AM
Amos 14 Feb 07 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 14 Feb 07 - 08:53 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 07 - 08:35 AM
MMario 14 Feb 07 - 07:53 AM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 07 - 01:38 AM
Acme 14 Feb 07 - 12:15 AM
Rapparee 14 Feb 07 - 12:08 AM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 07 - 11:53 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 07 - 11:41 PM
Amos 13 Feb 07 - 11:39 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 07 - 11:10 PM
JennyO 13 Feb 07 - 09:04 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 07 - 07:50 PM
JennyO 13 Feb 07 - 07:36 PM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 07 - 06:35 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 07 - 06:33 PM
Acme 13 Feb 07 - 06:27 PM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 07 - 06:14 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 13 Feb 07 - 05:58 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 07 - 04:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Feb 07 - 03:47 PM
MMario 13 Feb 07 - 01:55 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 07 - 01:53 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:33 AM

'Of that Ilk' is genealogical term applied to the hereditary peerages of the Clan chiefs of Scotland. It has something to do with the interaction between between the lordship of somewhere, the leadership of the Clan of that place, and your branch of the family.

The trouble is, the Title 'Lord XZY', and the leadership of the Clan XYZ are separate, although normally held by the same person, and IIRC, follow slightly different rules for how they descend the generations. Of that Ilk simply means of the place, and is seems to be applied with a blunderbuss to the list of Lairds, and I'm not even going to try to understand what the Macdonalds of Macdonald are up to,but I suppose there would have been a fairly limited gene pool in some of the more isolated highland areas...


And if anyone understood that, make your way to the tavern immediately for remedial alcohol, to remove this dangerous knowledge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:15 AM

There ain't no simile like a fack-simile.

And you may quote me on that. In fack, please do so. Over and over and over, until people throw up when they see you coming. Just be sure to provide accurate citation and don't fail to send quarterly royalty checks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 12:44 AM

But one thing we have learned on the long road to 16K is, that there is no ilk like MOAB ilk, and that's a fack. Or a reasonable fact-simile thereof.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 11:37 PM

See, that's what I meant when I said one of our noble aims here at the MOAB is to "provide free legal aid to unjustly imprisoned ilks everywhere". Of course, the Idaho Legion boys don't really qualify since they are nobody's ilk. In fact, it's not a good idea to even use the word "ilk" in the presence of a Legionaire since he might think it's a cuss word in French or something like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:48 PM

I just got a phone call from the Legion Hovel. Or to be more accurate, from the Bannock County Jail. Bail is needed (again) because the joint was raided and some of the girls and boys became a tad obstinate when the cops tried to seperate them from their earnings.

These folks figger that craps is a game of skill, especially if they're using Murky Moe's dice. You gotta be skillful to use dice as loaded as these are.

Anyway, it seems like one of the neighbors, Miss Priscilla Sharpe, took exception to Lucky Larry relieving himself outdoors when both the Pointers and the Setters had lines and Lucky really needed to get some relief from the hydralic pressure.

Naturally, when the cops got there they found the Tangential Crap Game going on and pulled a raid. This somewhat annoyed Murky and the twenty or thirty others who had bets laid, and the deputy called for backup. When the backup got there, the game was again going hot and heavy and there was a deputy sheriff, sans culottes, tied to a mule and facing the wrong way for the saddle.

Well, he really wasn't without pants. They were easy to find, being carefully fitted over his head. What he objected to the most was that his undies were fitted skid marks to the front and some prankster had used a permanent marker to color his "anatomy" bright Kelly green.

So the riot squad tossed in some tear gas, and it was tossed right back out and the shutters slammed shut. The cops tried a lot of things: flash-bang grenades, warnings, loud rock music, water cannon, but none of it disturbed the shooters inside. Finally, one of the Common Ordinary Deputy Sheriffs (CODS) had the inspiration that broke the siege: he turned off the hoses from the beer cars.

Within five minutes the surrender came. Drythroat Danny came out, gagging, begging for beer, and the deputies forced their way through the door. They confiscated the dice, the money (eleven dollars and sixty-three cents), the old Army blanket they were throwing the dice on, and arrested the lot of 'em.

Apparently only a few cops were injured, nothing more than a few broken bones and smacked heads and, wonder of wonders, no shots were fired! Well, actually Soapy did get loose and manage to fire off the Idaho Legion's Official Salute Cannon and Starter Pistol, hopin' that it would attract help, but it didn't.

Anyway, I'm going to have a few folks paroled into my custody again. Gotta run; I'm meeting the bank president in a few minutes to pick up the money in the Idaho Legion Bail Fund.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:27 PM

I sent Bobert over here for a breath of fresh air. Seems he's been hammered by some of the neo-Con members of Mudcat (they usually get run out of here pretty fast. And even a nasty like MartinGibson was no match for MOM). Though the breeze is coming from the general direction of the barnyard, it's a much better mix of air molecules here than you'll find in some of the short-timer threads out there. No one here minds the smell of compost, so Bobert's a natural!

And frankly, some of the WORST puns and the funniest stories have appeared here in MOAB that I defy any of those other puny little threads to equal. I've reprinted one of BWL's stories in here a couple times--every time I read it I'm in stitches and have to make sure I don't have any liquids nearby that I might have to clean off of the keyboard or screens.

I'll go looking for that one in particular--I think I saved it in a text file. . .maybe I'll spare the others and send it in a PM.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:08 PM

Yes, politics is pretty much frowned upon here at the MOAB. This place is sorta like an old west saloon where ya hafta leave yer six-shooter an' pig-sticker with th' bartender when ya come in.

See, that allows us MOABites to appear all innocent and noncommittal while, in fact, we're hatching a plot under which we hope to achieve world domination, rid society of the heartbreak of psoriasis, and provide free legal aid to unjustly imprisoned ilks everywhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:03 PM

Okay, okay. No paint.

Maybe a nice enamel though...or varnish. How's about some varnish? The real, old-fashioned stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 09:51 PM

Okay, Rap, now ya heared it on two 'er 3 threads: NO PAINT!!! Brandin' irons??? Okay, let's talk, but NO PAINT!!! Then you have to scrape it down every 5 years and repaint... NO PAINT!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 09:13 PM

Well, Bobert, it's like this....

This here is MOAB. Sometimes a duck-dog, Gluon, drops in -- he's a cross between a mallard duck and a dog and he lives...well, it's hard to explain where he lives. Sometimes a fred drops by; they're from some other galaxy or something and seem to have suffered a revolution lately since they now apparently want to eat us.

Then there's Amos. He's a bit odd, but then so is everyone else here. Ya gotta realize that this is The Mother of all BS threads, started by

Khandu

who rarely visits anymore -- he's either in jail or still drunk, one or the other, unless it's something else.

Basically, it's just, well, just stick around and poke yer two cents worth in when ya wanna.

When you gonna paint that new gittar? Yellow might be a good color, too. Or maybe a chocolate brown.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 07:54 PM

Hi, ya all...

Ahhhh, SRS said this was okay an' free of dumbass Bushites??? That true??? Yeah, I've been stayin' out of the Catbox 'cause I was jus' gettin' a little worn out by them folks an' their ability to hyjack threads but this one seems to be goin' okay...

(Over 16M posts, Bobert??? That not only beats out McDonalds but goes well beyond "goin' okay" status...)

So, pardon me, but I have to admit that I ain't read 16 friggin million posts so please noone quizz me on nuthin' but what are the current topics of disussion???

Oh, there are none??? Hmmmmmm??? Jus' like the other threads here in Mudville... Awwww, jus' funnin... Shoot, with GWB havin' scrwed up the planet and the future of mankind we need some places that he can't screw up and you can bet that he ain't 'bout to come in here 'cause that might involve him havin' to take remedial readin' '
n spellin' an that would be more trouble than jus' havin' him a good ol' fashion ***pretzel-in***... You all know 'bout them things, don't ya??? Ahhh, that's where you invite all yer drenkin' buds over and drenk until you fall into furniture... Hey, don't knock it if you ain't tried it...

But nevermind GWB fir a minutes, 'er decade, whichever comes first, an' just let yer mind go (I have experience in thie field...) and tell me why MO** is the bees knees, you know, the hypist of ther hyp, the greenist of the green and the ballsiest of the balls...

Ummmm, BTW, a 3/4 ton Chevy truck filled with dough is 'nuff dough to make a lot of bread an'...

...you can't outrun a mad bee with yer John Deer...

Peace

Bobert


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 07:28 PM

Well, shoot. My last post didn't get there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 07:20 PM

Yes, Rapaire's catch, "16161" is both palindromic and flippable, but when flipped it becomes "19191" so it's not a pinwheel. Jenny's right, "16191" is the next pinwheel. And the next pinwheel after that, by my admittedly inexpert calculations, is "16891".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 07:00 PM

Yes, that's true. Sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll will do that to you. All I remember is that your house was covered with chickenwire and you cooked a seagull for dinner. Very shortly after that I found myself on the deck of a tramp steamer and you were arguing with the Captain over "the price."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 06:55 PM

Congratulations on your palindromic number, Rapaire. However it is not a pinwheel. The next pinwheel is 16191, and I have dibbs on that.

Jenny - pinwheel expert.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 06:43 PM

You may recall. sir, how dark it was and how disoriented you were as we escaped from that blue-collar dive of a motel and made our way north on I-5 to civilization -- or you would otherwise have noticed the sturdy hills and the clever change in elevation between my humble and cozy abode and the nearby coast. As I see it, global warming is going to give me a lovely piece of beachfront property, with the ocean just close enough to run down and bathe in in the tropical dawns ahead.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 06:43 PM

Palindrome, and, I think, pinwheel! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 05:23 PM

'Sokay, Stilly. I been to Amos's place and global warming is gonna make the ocean rise high enough to flood it. Not a lot, just enough so that he'll be sloppin' around in water up to his ankles all the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 04:33 PM

Now if she'll kindly supply a slick spot so on Amos' next trip out he slips and splits his shorts as he hits the deck. Just for being so smug.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 03:22 PM

Looks like Mom did as I asked and talked with Mother Nature. The clouds have cleared and the temperature is up to almost 50º. Thanks, Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 01:47 PM

Gee. We're in the low 70's with cerulean skies dotted with occasional sheep-like clouds of pure white. A gentle breeze is making the daisies nod. I am working on a test platform in back of our building, something like a deck extended out over the nearby canyon, and am going to and fron in shirtsleeves and sandals, quite comfortably. I am also whistling.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 01:23 PM

Current conditions here: 37º F and falling, overcast and dreary. But the wind's easing up so the wind-chill factor is actually going up as the temperature drops. It's up to 29º.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 12:42 PM

The ZIP Code here is 83204. Use it to check out the weather.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 12:38 PM

BWL, I was hoping you had the warm weather and clear water and beaches to offer. Not so? Florida = warm, no?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 12:35 PM

Dear Mom,

Please have a talk with your cousin, Mother Nature, about this cold weather.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:48 AM

Thank you Rapaire. It's a pleasure to be here!

And Happy Valentine's Day, Mom!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:31 AM

What? From changing the channel?

I think I want to watch a channel with warm beaches and clear blue water and a beach towel and a swim suit are enough for a comfortable nap in a hammock slung between a couple of palm trees. . . I'm tired of all of Little Hawk's cold weather dragging around down here! Brrrr!

Thanks for the valentine's greeting! More to the point than the short "Happy VD!" in an email that a friend sent this morning. No, I don't think so. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:10 AM

Stilly, wait!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 08:53 AM

AND to all the other lovely ladies here. Mom's the mostest, but you guys are almost there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 08:35 AM

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Happy Valentine's Day, Mom

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 07:53 AM

SNOW DAY!

It's a SNOW day!

it's a snow DAY!

We got snow!

no w*rk!

SNOW DAY!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 01:38 AM

Yea, verily, and forsooth, for I have heard the Word of the Lord this day! He hath bequeathed unto us free choice. Let us all rejoice in His name! Hosanna in the highest!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 12:15 AM

Ewwww

Let's see what's on another channel. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 12:08 AM

I'm not so unsure of myself that I demand worship and sacrifice. Geez, what kinda Creator do think I am? No, all worship and sacrifice is totally voluntary. If you wanna, fine and if you don't, that's okay too, as long as you like spending eternity standing on your tippy-toes up to your nose in boiling...human excrement. See? Free will and free choices, that's me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 11:53 PM

I've been wondering how we should all worship you, O Great One? What do you require of us? Are there any heathen we can smite on your behalf? Will it be necessary to sacrifice virgins? If so, Blind River, Ontario is in deep trouble...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 11:41 PM

Amos, I will let you spell it any way you want, for you are my beloved son in whom I am well pleased.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 11:39 PM

Do you spell "jerk" with a "zhd" or with a "g", Mister Creator?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 11:10 PM

Yes, I wanted it that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 09:04 PM

Oh - well that's all right then. I feel better now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:50 PM

Mah goodness, Miz Scarlet, ah feel plumb faint!

I AM the Creator. I am the First and the Last, the Creator and the Created. I created Myself out of the Nothingness and Chaos I had created and all of you are My creations. Do not try to comprehend this, but simply accept it, for your minds are too puny to grasp it and besides, it's a lot of work and your mind could easily go "pfft!".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:36 PM

Rapaire, I thought YOU were the creator, and WE were all projections - figments of your fertile imagination. If you are a projection too, where does that leave us?

Oh dear! I'm confused. I think I need to lie down...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 06:35 PM

Yes, well, Shane is supposed to be obnoxious after all. It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 06:33 PM

Well, even though we knew that Mom had arrived, to have "Shane" himself post here demonstrates that Mom has been accepted by both ends of Society.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 06:27 PM

You sure were obnoxious until I figured out that it was you. Then I could just sit back and laugh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 06:14 PM

One of my deepest regrets is that Mr Fielding isn't around here for me to amuse any longer. He was the first person who twigged to the fact that I was writing the BDiBR stuff. He recognized that it was basically a "Doug and Bob McKenzie" kind of thing...typical Canadian "hoser" material...and then he worked out that I was the one doing it. It wasn't easy to fool Rick for very long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 05:58 PM

No, you WILL be the flippin' projectyle, man! After I get aholt of you, eh?

I been considerin' yer apolagy. I might let ya off the hook this time. Maybe.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 04:41 PM

I'm the projectile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 03:47 PM

So Spaw and Little Hawk are both projections! Mmario's the projector!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 01:55 PM

No - LH and 'Spaw are seperate entities. I have been in the presence of both. Granted, not at the same time, but I don't think either could morph into the other even if a consumate master of disguise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 01:53 PM

I, on the other hand, am a projection.


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