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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 07 Jun 06 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 06 - 10:10 PM
Amos 07 Jun 06 - 06:45 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 06 - 06:25 PM
Bunnahabhain 07 Jun 06 - 05:24 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 06 - 05:06 PM
Amos 07 Jun 06 - 01:21 PM
Acme 07 Jun 06 - 12:43 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 06 - 10:49 AM
Amos 07 Jun 06 - 10:38 AM
Amos 07 Jun 06 - 09:54 AM
Rapparee 07 Jun 06 - 08:48 AM
Bunnahabhain 07 Jun 06 - 03:41 AM
Amos 06 Jun 06 - 10:35 PM
Acme 06 Jun 06 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 06 - 09:43 PM
Amos 06 Jun 06 - 06:14 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 06 - 06:12 PM
Amos 06 Jun 06 - 05:32 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 06 - 04:37 PM
Bunnahabhain 06 Jun 06 - 04:23 PM
Amos 06 Jun 06 - 01:53 PM
Amos 06 Jun 06 - 12:08 PM
MMario 06 Jun 06 - 11:21 AM
Acme 06 Jun 06 - 11:18 AM
Amos 06 Jun 06 - 09:34 AM
MMario 06 Jun 06 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 06 Jun 06 - 09:19 AM
Amos 06 Jun 06 - 09:14 AM
Rapparee 06 Jun 06 - 09:01 AM
Acme 06 Jun 06 - 01:05 AM
Amos 06 Jun 06 - 12:25 AM
Acme 05 Jun 06 - 11:06 PM
Amos 05 Jun 06 - 11:05 PM
Rapparee 05 Jun 06 - 11:02 PM
Amos 05 Jun 06 - 10:47 PM
Amos 05 Jun 06 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 05 Jun 06 - 10:48 AM
Amos 05 Jun 06 - 10:01 AM
GUEST,William Shatner 05 Jun 06 - 12:25 AM
Rapparee 05 Jun 06 - 12:07 AM
Amos 04 Jun 06 - 11:12 PM
Rapparee 04 Jun 06 - 10:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jun 06 - 10:16 PM
Rapparee 04 Jun 06 - 07:45 PM
Amos 04 Jun 06 - 11:25 AM
Rapparee 04 Jun 06 - 11:00 AM
Amos 03 Jun 06 - 11:43 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 06 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 06 - 06:32 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 10:47 PM

Bring along the kids, and introduce them as pixels!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 10:10 PM

Yes! I could be a Picter show!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 06:45 PM

IF they accuse you of fraud because you are from across the pond, you can simply claim to be a Picter from Life's Other Side.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 06:25 PM

I was in Edinburgh in October. Would it work then too? Do I have to be in full Highland dress, or can I strip naked, paint myself blue, and go Pictish?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 05:24 PM

Be sure to take lots of best wishes, positive energy and anything else of that order you can think of.

The swords won't help on the Plane, but they are useful for getting through city streets. Central Edinburgh, tourist season, in Full Highland. You can legally carry a sword, and resisting the urge to use it on the slow moving crowds is hard. So long as the case comes up in August, I'm sure the jury will buy an insanity defense....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 05:06 PM

We're in a waiting mode right now. All we can do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 01:21 PM

Take along a few posts, but ones without a point. Otherwise they will bother you about them.

Good luck; best to the Ms. I do hope he pulls through.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 12:43 PM

Aww, Mike, sorry to hear about that. Make the trip while you can, and our best to Pat.

(Don't take any of those swords with you on the plane or it will slow down your travel considerably.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 10:49 AM

Yeah, well....

My father-in-law is in Cardiac Intensive Care in DC. He had a heart attack Sunday last and was taken by ambulance on Tuesday night. Yesterday his blood pressure dropped, but it's been stabilized. He's sedated and hooked up to a dozen machines.

I may be flying to DC at short notice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 10:38 AM

I wish to report to my friends here that I have just diligently re-read every MOAB post back through time as far as the 24th May 2006, where Rapaire is accused of rnning a floating library game.

I must say the thread is pure gold, a scintillating river of delight in the heart of the Valley of the Shadow of Republicans.

Mangle tak, as the Danish washerwoman put it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 09:54 AM

Pommeling the hilt can make you temporarily blind; but I realize this warning may be many years late in arriving.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 08:48 AM

The point is my point, and my point, while blunted for safety, is sharp. True, it has its foible, but its forte is to be guarded to the hilt. I wouldn't want to pommel the point too much, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 07 Jun 06 - 03:41 AM

Stilly, we're on Moab. You're asking if there's a point?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 10:35 PM

As Rapaire has pointed out, he is not fencing words, and his point is well made, and certainly his post does not deserve to be denied the point; for that would be almost as bad as losing one's post altogether. But, and I say it whole-heartedly, I am touched, and moved by such touch to take up defence in this post of his point from his own. This makes me wholly, and deeply, responsible for opening my mouth, with haste, as a sort of post orifice, if you will. And though as deep as a hole, surely not as deep as a well, or a hale, as they say when they cry, "Hale, no!".. But, for a post, 't will serve.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 10:21 PM

Was there a point to all of that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 09:43 PM

Amos, I'll not fence words with you, for my riposte from seconde to sixte would put it to the touch. I would indeed take a pound of fleche, and that would cut me to the quick. You can be, if you wish, the the minister of de fence, a post which I'm sure will foil your ill-wishers. You ARE de MAN! You can have de fence post, a staple for asking, "Wire we here?" So, for now, excuse me, for I must piste.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 06:14 PM

Indeed, were you to be deposted, I would not begin to know how to minister to such a loss. But, a minister of defence I could readily be, should need for such a post there be. If so, I urge you not to fence with words, nor post any fencing posts, but to speak plainly, and posthaste, to so advise if you are in a state of defensive posture. For pre-haste makes no man well, but ministering to one unfenced, unstraddled and brought down is to help a man to cease from digging wholly too far a hole, and that post-haste. For well it said, de post is mightier den de fence, and so is the post hole mightier than the whole post. But beyond well, hale and whole, even the best minister cannot make you, for there is no known line post-whole, post-hale. So, I shall sign this post, hail away, and sign off, though without a mount, I shall not post off, though I suppose I could go to the post officers for such.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 06:12 PM

I knew a king whose business fell off. All the ladies in waiting and the queen and the scullery maids and the women for miles around were disappointed, as well as some of the pages and even whole chapters. Who was that? Henry the 8? No, Kublai Khan...no, Khandu! King Khandu. that was it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 05:32 PM

Well spoke, for a man so dedicated to fencing AND to posting as yourself, good Rapaire. I have yet to see you fence with a post, but often enough have seen you post from the fence. And if you were to sign on as defence, would you be obliged to depost? How many? To unfence a fence sitter is no sin -- but to unpost such a valiant fellow a loss indeed, and a shame besides. Lose your post? Oh, forbid it. Safe yourself from any bug that would de-post you, for such a monarch to be deposte would be to see the king's business fall off severely, in sooth!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 04:37 PM

Good frend for Iesus sake forbeare
And cease the puns encloased here
Blese be ye man yt puns not pith
And cvrst be he yt puns forthwith.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 04:23 PM

I know what Rapiere wanted such a big fence. he wanted to outdo this lot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 01:53 PM

Getting Bush OFF post is the only path to being post-Bush, I would think.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 12:08 PM

I think being post-Bush is semantically equivalent to being post-hole, or at least, post-A-hole. Which requires one stop straddling the post hole digger, for which being Australian is no excuse. I can forgive the Governor being Austrian, but I think the Prez is taking it to far being an Australopithecan. Someone should remind him to take the pith helmet. He seems to be always taking the pith without the helmet.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 11:21 AM

ow! OUCH! MOM! Make her

STOP!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 11:18 AM

When you start discussing chain link and wire types of fencing the puns start flying and this is where "Barb Dwyer" steps out of the phone booth and puts on her aluminum foil hat and suggests, via a little verbal fencing, that it would be better to be post-Bush than deal with Bush posts about now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 09:34 AM

Wal, the thing of it is, pal, that my vision is what I am following, and your vision, not. If I wanted to pursue yours, I would seek a grant-in-aids.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 09:33 AM

Tou're hoping your wall will become manifests? I don't think packing lists will hold up well to weather. Perhaps if you shellaced them though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 09:19 AM

But the ART, Man! What about the ART?????? It would be a comment on Bush's America, on Arnie's California, on the politics of San Diego, on the repression of Artistic Vision in the post-Clinton era!

Apply for a grant! Follow your Vision!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 09:14 AM

To your kind suggestions, Oh, Honorable Rapaire, I must frostily demur. For one thing the kids have already escaped. For another, your plan is a budget-buster on a budget already waiting for magical transfusions! :D So I will continue, with my pencil sketches and Excel files to foster beauty (rather than barbarian wire) in the offing, hoping it will one day become manifest.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 09:01 AM

Phooey. Forget the wall. Put up a chainlink fence. One of them big, tall ones, about two meters high. Top the sucker with razor wire. Then put rolls of razor wire on the inside, stacking them all the way to the top. Six feet from the stacks of razor wire run another wire, just about a foot off the ground, and put little signs on it that say "Dead Line."

At each corner of the fence put a guard tower with search lights and a mannequin that looks like it's holding a rifle.

If the neighbors ask about it just look at them and mutter something about the "damned kids always trying to escape."

When the cops come, be sitting on the porch playing a banjo. Tell them that the whole thing is a performance art piece and that they are now stars in an off-Broadway theater production.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 01:05 AM

I don't think Dubya or Ahhnold would get your Frosty reception, Amos. Amending [laws] they will go. . .(I have to give that pun a little more air time, considering the rare opportunity to use it).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 06 - 12:25 AM

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
"Stay where you are until our backs are turned!"
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of outdoor game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
He is all pine and I am apple-orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, "Good fences make good neighbors."
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
"Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down!" I could say "Elves" to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. ...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jun 06 - 11:06 PM

Why, yes, what a good idea! They're all amending walls as fast as they can.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 06 - 11:05 PM

I wouldn't have 'em. There's some kind of help a man in his right mind just won't accept. Lie down with pigs, and you get up dripping slops.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 06 - 11:02 PM

Won't George and Arnie send the California National Guard to help? Can't you get some of that border security money?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 06 - 10:47 PM

Well, all the gravelly stones are shaken, raked, sieved and barrowed away from the front yard and we are examining where the wall should go. Several ideas are forthcoming. My goodness, yes. Why, with a few thousand dollars we will have just a dreamy wall, indeed.

So I am running various spreadsheets of measurements to see where the price point will finally lie. But I can tell you know it will be lovely.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 06 - 12:20 PM

A lazy lug
With ugly mug
Squat as a pug
Wearing a plug-ugly rug
Would you be bugged?
I think, said Doug,
I'd hit the jug
Or yell "Go fugg!"
At such a lug!
If such a mug
Should try to hug,
I would be bugged,
I would, said Doug
I'd swing and slug
His ugly mug.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 06 - 10:48 AM

The fat cat sat
On Shatner's hat
Now a flatter flat hat
Because of that
Oh my said Shat
My poor flat hat
Is a flatter flat
For the fat cat sat
On my flat hat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 06 - 10:01 AM

Ewwww!! Shatner!! Yuck!! Ugh!!! Ewwww! Appropriate ward-signs with fingers in air!! Pewwwww!!!

(That was no dream -- we really did write those poems, for good and sufficient reason.)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 05 Jun 06 - 12:25 AM

Ooof!

Wow. Did I have a wierd dream . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 06 - 12:07 AM

Where art thou, Shat
With your flat hat
Upon which sat
A slattern fat
'Til your flat hat
Was a flatter flat
Flatteringly flat
Your slattern sat hat
And now, Fat Shat,
Where art thou, Shat
With your flat hat
Upon which sat
A slattern fat?

    --Oscar von und zu Wienerhoff, 1923.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 06 - 11:12 PM

A slattern's heat, a slitted sheet
And sitting on a Shatner hat
Are kindred dreams, of shit and heat,
And hollow dreams for he who sits,
A haunted, tattered, sailor cat,
Dreaming of shitty Shatner fat,
And of his sadly flattened hat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jun 06 - 10:22 PM

Is that from that epic work, "The Shat In The Hat" or from its sequel "The Shat In The Hat Comes Back"????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jun 06 - 10:16 PM

I dreamed I sat on Shatner's hat
On Shatner's hat is where I sat
I don't know where Shat's hat was at
Just that Shat's hat was where I sat
And when I sat, Shat's hat went "Splat!"
And then his hat was very flat
Yes, flatter than a cricket bat
And flatter than a welcome mat
There's never been a flatter hat
Than Shatner's hat, on which I sat


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jun 06 - 07:45 PM

Well, I took my moral compass out the shootin' range today. I got out the Old Girl and loaded her up. Then I took my best sitting, supported, position and proceeded to shoot ten rounds at a target 100 yards away.

I didn't do real well. In fact, I only got four "in the black." That's not good shootin'.

So, I stood up, reloaded, and started shooting at various plastic bottles others had left there (being a good member of the shooting club, I cleaned all of it up when I finished -- really). On the first shot I flung a bottle clear over the the 20 foot high backstop. And with fifteen more shots I cleared fifteen pieces of junk from the target area.

This was done standing, open (non-telescopic) sights, 100 yards, 180-grain Remington Core-Lokt 30-06 ammo, using a rifle that was manufactured (dated by both markings and serial number) by Winchester in May, 1918.

On the other hand, I left the assembly line in early 1945 and I'm feeling every second since then. Something about the fresh air and the outdoors brings out the wimp in me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 06 - 11:25 AM

That explains a lot about those who have done so before you.

A broken moral compass, cracked in the glass and warped in the bearings, dead to the genuine flux of the planet, but bent in such a way as to always appear North-pointing.

Hmmmm?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jun 06 - 11:00 AM

I figured it out, Amos. The needle was stuck. I whacked it with a hammer a couple of times to unstick the needle and now it points up, sort of. But ever since last night when I did that I have this almost uncontrollable urge to enter politics....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 06 - 11:43 PM

You gotta watch it when your moral compass needs to be swung. If you put it off too long, someone else will do it for you, using a hemp rope, which works exceeding poor.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 06 - 10:40 PM

My moral compass always points sorta South. I think it might be busted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 06 - 06:32 PM

Some damn vegetable or uvver,
But strange or not, usn's still luvver.


Perhaps a whaling chantey:

"Some damn vegetable, or blubber,
But strange or not, we all still lubber."


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