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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 23 Mar 06 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 09:47 PM
Acme 23 Mar 06 - 09:46 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 09:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Mar 06 - 07:58 PM
Amos 23 Mar 06 - 06:33 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 03:49 PM
Acme 23 Mar 06 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 02:46 PM
Amos 23 Mar 06 - 02:43 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 02:36 PM
MMario 23 Mar 06 - 02:15 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 06 - 01:56 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 06 - 10:31 PM
Acme 22 Mar 06 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 06 - 04:43 PM
Amos 22 Mar 06 - 03:59 PM
MMario 22 Mar 06 - 03:22 PM
Amos 22 Mar 06 - 03:09 PM
MMario 22 Mar 06 - 01:14 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 06 - 12:59 PM
MMario 22 Mar 06 - 12:31 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 06 - 12:04 PM
Acme 22 Mar 06 - 11:33 AM
Rapparee 22 Mar 06 - 11:09 AM
Acme 22 Mar 06 - 10:55 AM
Little Hawk 22 Mar 06 - 10:27 AM
Bunnahabhain 22 Mar 06 - 10:23 AM
Amos 22 Mar 06 - 09:06 AM
Rapparee 22 Mar 06 - 08:43 AM
MMario 22 Mar 06 - 08:40 AM
Rapparee 22 Mar 06 - 08:34 AM
Rapparee 21 Mar 06 - 10:45 PM
Amos 21 Mar 06 - 05:21 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 06 - 05:09 PM
MMario 21 Mar 06 - 04:29 PM
Acme 21 Mar 06 - 04:27 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 06 - 02:52 PM
Amos 21 Mar 06 - 01:10 PM
Acme 21 Mar 06 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 06 - 11:16 AM
Amos 21 Mar 06 - 11:15 AM
MMario 21 Mar 06 - 10:42 AM
Acme 20 Mar 06 - 10:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Mar 06 - 09:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Mar 06 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 06 - 09:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Mar 06 - 06:57 PM
Acme 20 Mar 06 - 06:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Mar 06 - 06:31 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 09:50 PM

It don't matter if they're married or shacked up or whatever as long as they spend plenty of time screwin'. Why? 'Cause it's real hard for people to do lots of obnoxious things if they're busy screwin'. Things like startin' wars and blowin' theyselves up an' tryin' t' save people's souls when they don't wanna be saved. An' startin' copycat threads, an' bitchin' about people startin' copycat threads, an' bitchin' about people bitchin' about people startin' copycat threads ad infinitum.

In the immortal words of some-damned-body but I don't know whom, "Fuck more. Bitch less."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 09:47 PM

Stilly, I want Mom to be happy, don't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 09:46 PM

But do you want MOM MOAB shacking up? I bet you sing a different song there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 09:25 PM

That's so nice, Bee-Dubya. I like to see young folks getting married these days, instead of just shacking up together. Well, come to think of it, shacking up together is nice too and I like to see young folks today shacking up together, too. In fact, I'd like to go on record as liking to see old folks getting married/shacking up together as well as young folks shacking up together/getting married.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 07:58 PM

I'll save you, Mom! Less than 23 hours and you would have fallen right off the page!

Now, if you're going out, don't forget your mittens and galoshes. And stay away from birds because they might have bird flu. And stay away from cats because a cat might have eaten a bird with bird flu. And stay away from Gluon because he's sick and keeps quarking everywhere. He might have the bird flu too.

Yes, Mom, we know you're a big girl, but we worry so about you.

What? No, Mom, but my daughter's fiance' is.

No, Mom, I don't know if they're going to have the wedding in a synagogue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 06:33 PM

Rapaire, probably. He goes in for that kind of thing.... :D

You're welcome, ol' Sib. I'm just here to keep you on the qui vive, ya know!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 03:49 PM

Who, oh who, shall be number 11,700?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 02:47 PM

Sounds like Rapaire and Amos have been drinking from the same well. Or eating from the same healthy meal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 02:46 PM

Amos...that's the..nicest thing anybody's ever said...about me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 02:43 PM

Ole Gluon had to quark,
So he chose a likely place
And he quarked his last three bosons
In Rapaire's sleeping face.
Rapaire woke up disgusted,
And started in to shout
'Cuz every time that he stands up,
Bosons come trickling out!

Quark, quark, the Duck Dog barks
Don't let him in at night
'Cuz if he slughs his Charm on you
You never will look right!

Now Rapaire, he glows in darkness
And he sizzles like a bomb
Those sub-atomic particles
Have made him yell for Mom.
He want's that dog disfigured!
And put right down for keeps!
Since Quark the duck-dog spewed him
With those bosons in his sleep!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 02:36 PM

I don't have a carpet. That gray-green stuff is mold, dirt, hair, bits of food and even less appetizing things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 02:15 PM

oh wow! MOm was only eight hours and 45 minutes from falling and Rapaire "saved" her! What a narrow escape!

I may swoon.

moab-sib Rapaire, you are *such* a suck-up!

I hope Gluon quarks all over your carpet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 01:56 PM

It's okay now, Mom. I saved you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 10:31 PM

I was just offering to rectify her raster. It was slightly askew, and I wanted to ask her if I could unskew it for her.

After she poured the beer on me she walked over me -- lengthwise, in stilleto heels -- and left me with bar bill.

I think she thought I meant something improper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 10:04 PM

She was as out of place there are a healthy meal would be.


Well I guess so!

Er. . .anyway, what WERE you trying to say just then?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 04:43 PM

Back in my college days, I was sitting in a bar, quietly sipping a beer and minding my own business, when in walked this GORGEOUS blonde. Short skirt, but legs to go with it and the rest in proportion. She took the bar stool next to mine and said quietly, to the bartender, "A cold beer, please."

She was as out of place there are a healthy meal would be.

Anyway, after I picked my tongue up from the floor and I said, in my sauve and debonair manner, "Hi. Could I rectify your raster? I see that it's a little...."

WHAP!!! before I could explain anything to here.

Well, lemmetellyou, that ended MY career as a raster rectifyier!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 03:59 PM

Kinda has a little rhythm to it, dunnit?

"What would she say I wonder
Maybe smiles or may be thunder,
If I stepped right up and as'd her
Just to rectify her raster..."
Do it now, or do it later,
It will make the dater straighter
And the process will go faster
If you rectify her raster."

I fancy it with a ragtime sort of little tune behind it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 03:22 PM

I asked for an Rectifying set for Christmas , but I didn't get it. but if I had, then we would be all set to rectify raster sets over the internet, yup, we sure would.

I wanted the deluxe set, that lets you make the Tyranosaurus with the working jaws that walks and waves his useless little arms around while wagging his tail like a really strange puppy.


But MOM said I couldn't have it 'cause she was saving up to buy someone a clue. At least I think that's what she said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 03:09 PM

Here's the big question, relating to transubstanding or any other damn thing:



"Bilinear interpolation and cubic convolution techniques combine a greater number of nearby cells (4 and 16, respectively) to compute the value for the transformed cell. These two techniques use a weighted averaging method to compute the output transformed cell value and thus are only appropriate for continuous data such as elevation, slope, aerial photography, and other continuous surfaces.

"Resampling is part of the georeferencing process; however, it can also be used to adjust the cell size of a raster dataset or can be part of a geoprocessing operation to alter the values of cells.


Should you rectify your raster?



"You can permanently transform your raster dataset after georeferencing it by using the Rectify command on the Georeferencing toolbar. Rectify creates a new raster dataset that is georeferenced to map coordinates. You can save this in GRID, TIFF, or IMAGINE format.

"MOAB doesn't require you to rectify your raster dataset to display it with other spatial data. You might choose to rectify your raster dataset if you plan to perform analysis with it or want to use it with another software package that doesn't recognize the external georeferencing information created by MOAB."


See what I have to deal with, just to keep body and soul together on the same relative planar continuum?

Oi! Such Tsuris! But I can think of a few raster sets around the Cat that deserve being rectified, but good.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 01:14 PM

What eavesdropping? I answered the door and he asked for MOM I knew who it was 'cause of the slippers. Well, those and the miter. Then she told me they had a "private appointment" and took him upstairs. They was giggling.

I'm not sure I approve of a Pope giggling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 12:59 PM

No, they were discussing it as they walked up the stairs. Obviously YOU were eavesdropping and you should be ashamed of yourself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 12:31 PM

I thought that interview with the Pope was suppossed to be *private*. that's what Mom told me when she took him into her budoir. Were you eavesdropping again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 12:04 PM

I guess so. I overheard her discussing the concept of transubstantion with the Pope the other day. And you've heard her talk about Shakespeare's bawdy imagery and language.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 11:33 AM

Is she a good conversationalist?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 11:09 AM

No..no...I don't think it's "dirty linen". Just because Mom has a little nip every night, "entertains" the entire 82nd Airborne Division, and generally has herself a good time isn't "dirty linen." It's just Mom being Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 10:55 AM

You're airing Mom's dirty linen here? Geez, guys, have some sensitivity. Just kick those bottles under the bed and forget about them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 10:27 AM

"Once there was a way...to get back howeward..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 10:23 AM

Drunk? You think she's drunk? Nowhere Near!


You're not having to pick you way over random old bottles with the dregs of some eye-watering substance distilled by the high preists of the Idaho legion in an old boiler that it would a really bad idea to take anywhere near a naked flame.

Yes, she can't remember where she got to last night, or what she did, but at least she knows where she is now. And the getting lost bit is just due to so much complicated maths and physics that she couldn't tell whih set of dimensions to look in. We've all done something similar, like taking down a phone number too quickly, and then realising you didn't put the area code down because it was so obvious, and you can't remeber now....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 09:06 AM

Sing a song of sick pensee
Pockets fuller -- why?
Foreign tent, oobleck birds,
Bakelite apply!
Wonder Tivas open,
Dauber Zbignew sing!
Whizzing daughter, special dish,
Two pits before aching!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 08:43 AM

Yeah, and if Mom didn't get so roaring drunk in her suite every night there wouldn't be any bottles to trip over! And I'm not even mentioning the men's thongs whirling around on the ceiling fan or the...no, you're too young.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 08:40 AM

If you weren't always sneaking into Mom's bedroom you wouldn't be tripping over the bottles.

Sometimes you're just , y'know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 08:34 AM

Good Morning, Mom! I see that I tucked you into bed last night after your glass of warm milk and I'm the first to awaken you to the glories of a new day with this nice cup of tea.

MOM! I've told you and told you to put your empty whiskey bottles in the wastebasket! I nearly broke my neck when I stepped on that one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 10:45 PM

Then I'll take it to the Fourier's shop and have it cleaned so that it will Blase again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 05:21 PM

The longer you forebear the fourier the colon. Nothing worse than watching someone's colon get Fourier, gradually transforming until one is left all Dewey with regret. Hairy situation.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 05:09 PM

That's why I'm forebearing -- about those AND the not-so-obvious one abour Fourier Transformations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 04:29 PM

I feel so stupid - I don't get the obvious puns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 04:27 PM

Ah, go ahead. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 02:52 PM

I will avoid making the OBVIOUS puns upon Liebnitz and Blase Pascal!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 01:10 PM

This calls for a new series of Lorentz-Fitzgerald experiments to determine the speed of enlightenment through the eth-or. Unless you feel they Kant.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 12:20 PM

Well, you could be out with the hoy poloy talking about the universe in lava lamps and burning down the outhouse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 11:16 AM

Those scholars are divided in their opinion -- they're eth-er/or.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 11:15 AM

My gawd, you turn around just for a few minutes, and next thing you know the place is full of strange characters with questionable backgrounds and ulterior motives. This place is becoming a real bar sinister in its own right!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 10:42 AM

and the reason there is a bar across the 'eth'? Scholars will tell you (after swearing you to secrecy) that the bar is to keep things from leaking out of the 'eth'hole.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 10:18 PM

That lumpy L has a P plumbed to it and isn't a very good thorn--that's a typesetter's answer to a thorn, I'll bet. A thorn was drawn different than that but evolved into the Y shaped thing (and gets abused in the mispronunciation of the form as it appears in things like "Ye (Thorn + e) Old Candle Shoppe.") The fact that there are only four examples of a "thorn" on that Google page just means that most of the people who put this stuff on the Internet are idiots and should know better.

You did the best you could, BWL.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 09:50 PM

By the way, I have discovered the answer to the classic Zen koan "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

The sound of one hand clapping is a potato.

Still workin' on that hubless wheel one, but I think the answer has something to do with either walnuts or broccoli.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 09:40 PM

Hah! If you, my dear Rapaire, would take the time to read a few of those books in that "" class instead of merely cataloging them, you would know that concepts like time and space or cause and effect are mere illusions. Therefore, it is perfectly possible for not only Oral Roberts, but Oral Roberts' grandchildren, to have contributed financially to the development of the Colon Classification System.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 09:24 PM

Shiyali Ramamrita Ranganathan was born in 1892 in India. Oral Roberts was born in 1918 in Oklahoma. Shiyali Ramamrita Ranganathan created Colon Classification in 1933, when Oral Roberts was a mere lad of 15. At 15 Oral Roberts was still in High School and probably sinning and drinking likker and chasing women. Thus, I don't think Oral Roberts did it. Billy Sunday or Aimee Semple McPherson maybe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 06:57 PM

By the way, when I said "Most people don't even know that the "" character exists, much less what it is called....", I was not referring to any MOABites. Being a group largely comprised of English majors who paid careful attention in our History and Structure of the English Language courses (instead of sleeping through them like our less motivated classmates), we know that the "" symbol is called an "eth" and represents the "soft 'th'" sound as in "them". We also know that the "hard 'th'" sound as in "think" is, of course, represented by the "" called a "thorn". We know a lot of other useless shit as well as evidenced by the fact that this thread is over 11,000 posts long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 06:38 PM

D

Close


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 06:31 PM

So, under the Colon Classification System the class "religion" is indicated by the letter "Q" while the class "spirituality and mysticism" is indicated by "". Most people don't even know that the "" character exists, much less what it is called or how to get it to print or display. This represents an obvious ploy on the part of organized religion to make it difficult for libraries to catalog books whose spiritual message is anything other than that espoused by the major religions! I'll bet money that Oral Roberts contributed money to help underwrite the development of the Colon Classification System!


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