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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 07 Oct 05 - 08:47 AM
Bunnahabhain 07 Oct 05 - 08:41 AM
Rapparee 07 Oct 05 - 08:40 AM
Acme 07 Oct 05 - 12:32 AM
Rapparee 07 Oct 05 - 12:06 AM
Acme 06 Oct 05 - 10:30 PM
Acme 06 Oct 05 - 10:27 PM
Bunnahabhain 06 Oct 05 - 06:49 PM
Amos 06 Oct 05 - 02:45 PM
beardedbruce 06 Oct 05 - 02:13 PM
Acme 06 Oct 05 - 12:11 PM
beardedbruce 06 Oct 05 - 12:02 PM
Amos 06 Oct 05 - 11:58 AM
beardedbruce 06 Oct 05 - 11:43 AM
Amos 06 Oct 05 - 11:32 AM
beardedbruce 06 Oct 05 - 11:23 AM
Amos 06 Oct 05 - 11:08 AM
beardedbruce 06 Oct 05 - 10:30 AM
Acme 06 Oct 05 - 10:24 AM
Bunnahabhain 06 Oct 05 - 10:09 AM
Acme 05 Oct 05 - 06:22 PM
Amos 05 Oct 05 - 06:12 PM
beardedbruce 05 Oct 05 - 02:09 PM
MMario 05 Oct 05 - 02:07 PM
Amos 05 Oct 05 - 02:04 PM
MMario 05 Oct 05 - 12:02 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 05 - 11:31 AM
Acme 05 Oct 05 - 10:32 AM
Amos 05 Oct 05 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 05 Oct 05 - 07:34 AM
Amos 04 Oct 05 - 11:31 PM
Acme 04 Oct 05 - 10:43 PM
Rapparee 04 Oct 05 - 10:36 PM
Amos 04 Oct 05 - 08:05 PM
Acme 04 Oct 05 - 07:07 PM
Rapparee 04 Oct 05 - 03:51 PM
rumanci 04 Oct 05 - 11:58 AM
Amos 04 Oct 05 - 11:57 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Oct 05 - 11:53 AM
MMario 04 Oct 05 - 10:14 AM
Acme 04 Oct 05 - 10:03 AM
Bunnahabhain 04 Oct 05 - 08:46 AM
Rapparee 04 Oct 05 - 08:46 AM
Acme 04 Oct 05 - 12:25 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Oct 05 - 11:44 PM
Acme 03 Oct 05 - 11:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Oct 05 - 08:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Oct 05 - 07:00 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Oct 05 - 06:55 PM
Acme 03 Oct 05 - 04:04 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 05 - 08:47 AM

No, that's okay Bunn. I've seen the aurora dancing its carefree heel-and-toe as it gazed upon strange sights on the marge of Lake Lebarge.

(Did you know that there really WAS a steamer aground in Lake Lebarge and that Robert Service knew of it? Believe it or not, the name of the boat was the "Olive May." You can read about this and many other things in Laura Berton's wonderful book, I married the Klondike. Yes, she was Pierre's Berton's maternal parent.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 07 Oct 05 - 08:41 AM

You were wondering what the local weather was like...Here.

Unfortunatly I'm not quite far enough north for this to be useful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 05 - 08:40 AM

Sleep. I'm still exhausted. And I can't sleep late tomorrow, as I have a Conference follow-up meeting at 8:30. I haven't been to work in two days. I spent 3 hours yesterday trying to get the Conference's Internet Cafe to work (the setup instructions left a lot to be desired) and finally succeeded. I also spent a lot of time discussing the fact that my library is going to have to take the (SQL-based) servers since the place that has time has announced that it's pulling out of the local 23-member consortium. I presented a program on library history, arranged for Nancy Pearl to autograph a bunch of action figurines (one each old and new), coordinated with the hotel on banquet counts and so one, made sure that speakers got paid, and lent a rifle to the Intellectual Freedom group ("Censor this, sucker!").

The double set of Nancy Pearl action figurines raised USD 90.00 each, and they sold 7 of them at that price. (These were my personal gift to the IF auction.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Oct 05 - 12:32 AM

I have a few nice old quilts around here. It's nice to see that quilts in general are receiving this kind of scholarship and attention. (My great grandmother made most of mine, and wisely, she dated them. They go back to the 1860s). A couple of years ago I asked an old very dear friend of mine if she'd leave me one of her quilts in her will. She did better than that--she mailed it last year and it arrived on my birthday. It's a beautiful one she made back in the days when she was doing a lot of sewing. She's 90 now, and not doing much of that, so I was glad she could part with this--it is precious.

Hey, Rapaire, if Pat's not home an there is snow on the roof and a furnace inside, what's a fellow do in a case like this? Extra fencing practice? Lay carpet? Read a good book?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 05 - 12:06 AM

There's might be snow on the roof, but there's fire in the furnace, he he.

Actually, there's a nice coating of snow up on Scout Mountain. And the Heart of the Valley, over in the direction of the Tetons, had 2 inches of snow this morning. It was 30-ish here at 0600 today, and only got up to around 55. (All degrees in F., not C. or K.)

One more day of the Conference to go. I'm exhausted, and so to bed. (Alone -- Pat's at a meeting in Denver.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 10:30 PM

Of course, the pallets out in my yard are very clean already. The palette, on the other hand, could use a little swish of wine, I think, to make it happy at the moment. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 10:27 PM

I occasionally quote from Tennyson's "In Memoriam, AHH" with the "Nature, red in tooth and claw" line, but there is less of it that is so applicable as Kipling.

Chocolate is good, but a nice batch of smoked salmon, that will do it every time!

Mom, it was cool enough today that I cooked a big pot of turkey stew and the kids made pie crust shapes (cut out with cookie cutters) to eat with it. Mmmmmm! Meanwhile, with the cool weather, I'm wondering why I bothered to buy another dog house. Both girls have been curling up happily together in one. (They're so cute!)

Folks like Amos will just have to take our words for it that it cools off in the fall. San Diego looks like it's having it's typical warmish weather. Rapaire has probably been out shoveling snow already. Bunn--I don't know about your weather. And where is RR these days?

Chit chat BS doesn't exactly cleanse the pallet, but it does move us along numerically. I believe I already placed dibs on 10,000.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 06:49 PM

Sufficient chocolate, and you can get away with anything...

Deadlier, but easily distracted!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 02:45 PM

Bruce:

A word of warning from a fellow, if vastly more accomplished, poet:

When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.


Regards,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 02:13 PM

Amos:"Of course you are free to type whatever you want to type, good buddy; I will always defend your sovereign and Gawd-given right to do so, no matter how much I harass you on your exercise of it! :D"


Stilly River Sage: "You are dismissed. Go play somewhere else. "


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 12:11 PM

BeardedBruce, why are you slumming over here? This is a BS thread, ferchristsake, but even here we have our limits. Everyone understood what you meant, but your demeaning remark was dismissed. You are dismissed. Go play somewhere else.

Please.

Thank you.

Good day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 12:02 PM

Thank you, Napoleon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 11:58 AM

In my humble, insignificant and irrelevant opinion, sir, everything I write is an opinion. Some opinions are more equal than others, though.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 11:43 AM

"Bruce --

The word is fine, not "small". Puhleeeze!! :>)


A"


As I tried to tell you, the word I was using, for good reason, was SMALL. YOU are trying to tell me what I can write.

"Gawd, what insufferable pedantry. I was completely aware of why you chose as you did, which is why I objected. "



"You grind pretty small yourself, for a poetical type, if I may say so"

You MAY SAY so, but have made no effort to establish the validity of your statement. You might want to include an "IMO" somewhere in there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 11:32 AM

Bruce:

Gawd, what insufferable pedantry. I was completely aware of why you chose as you did, which is why I objected. You grind pretty small yourself, for a poetical type, if I may say so.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 11:23 AM

Amos,

I chose NOT to use fine, knowing the various meanings...

fine 1    (fn) KEY

ADJECTIVE:
fin·er , fin·est
Of superior quality, skill, or appearance: a fine day; a fine writer.
Very small in size, weight, or thickness: fine type; fine paper.

Free from impurities.
Metallurgy Containing pure metal in a specified proportion or amount: gold 21 carats fine.
Very sharp; keen: a blade with a fine edge.
Thin; slender: fine hairs.
Exhibiting careful and delicate artistry: fine china. See Synonyms at delicate.
Consisting of very small particles; not coarse: fine dust.

Subtle or precise: a fine difference.
Able to make or detect effects of great subtlety or precision; sensitive: has a fine eye for color.
Trained to the highest degree of physical efficiency: a fine racehorse.
Characterized by refinement or elegance.
Satisfactory; acceptable: Handing in your paper on Monday is fine.
Being in a state of satisfactory health; quite well: I'm fine. And you?
Used as an intensive: a fine mess.


_______________________________________________________________

And my SELECTED word,

small    (smôl) KEY

ADJECTIVE:
small·er , small·est
Being below the average in size or magnitude.
Limited in importance or significance; trivial: a small matter.
Limited in degree or scope: small farm operations.
Lacking position, influence, or status; minor: "A crowd of small writers had vainly attempted to rival Addison" (Thomas Macaulay).
Unpretentious; modest: made a small living; helped the cause in my own small way.
Not fully grown; very young.
Narrow in outlook; petty: a small mind.
Having been belittled; humiliated: Their comments made me feel small.
Diluted; weak. Used of alcoholic beverages.
Lacking force or volume: a small voice.



I hope you can see why I chose the one I did, from my viewpoint...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 11:08 AM

Bruce:

My issue was not with the pedantic details of your editing, but with your meaning. There is a large gap between "small" and "fine", especially in the resoannty overtones.

Of course you are free to type whatever you want to type, good buddy; I will always defend your sovereign and Gawd-given right to do so, no matter how much I harass you on your exercise of it! :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 10:30 AM

Amos,

Without quote marks, it can be whatever I want to write.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 10:24 AM

Hey, MOM! Get up! It's a good brisk morning to get out a couple of pots and pans and do some cooking around here! Fall has finally arrived!!!! Yes! (Turkey pot pie for dinner tonight, turkey will be simmering shortly).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 10:09 AM

Grinding stuff fine, and adding a spark, even of inspiration, is a bad idea. It either explodes, or complains about unfair editing...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Oct 05 - 06:22 PM

Hell, no, Bruce, it’s writ large for all to see!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Oct 05 - 06:12 PM

Bruce --

The word is fine, not "small". Puhleeeze!! :>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Oct 05 - 02:09 PM

the wheels of MOAB grind slowly, but exceedingly small...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Oct 05 - 02:07 PM

uh-oh! Amos just called Mom *OLD*

he is gonna get it!

He is in such big trouble!

I hope she doesn't ground him, not with the Getaway coming up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Oct 05 - 02:04 PM

I thought I would not be alive
When mother reached 9-5-5-5
But here I am and here is She
Now grown beyond 10 to the three!
Nine times beyond, she's brightly grown
And still her children stay at home'
And though she's ancient, pale and faint
They bring her still each childish plaint
Each accusation of another
Each wish to punish Sis or Brother
Each sibling hiss, fraternal stab
Ah, woe! The trials of our MOAB!
But still she carries on, and strives,
WIshing her children better lives;
And now has reached nine thousand
Five hundred
And fifty-five.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Oct 05 - 12:02 PM

Given your contacts with and within the Idaho Legion - Do we have a choice?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 05 - 11:31 AM

Can I also be the head of the secret police?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Oct 05 - 10:32 AM

It would clear up a number of matters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Oct 05 - 09:48 AM

I can tell you this much...if I were President, I'd put Rapaire on the Supreme Court, and SRS too. It would make American history much more enjoyable to study some day.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 05 - 07:34 AM

Arise, dear Mother!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 11:31 PM

Then there was the Vietnamese soldier who resented being asked to do renovation work on war memorials on the say-so of bigwigs who had political pull. A veteran sergeant took him aside and said, "Listen to me, if you know what is good for you -- this is a great opportunity! Carpet Dien!".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 10:43 PM

Carpeting aside, I still think the best joke I've heard lately had the punchline of Dubya turning to Cheney and asking "How much is a brazillian?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 10:36 PM

"Hey, Harry!"
"Yeah?"
"Watcha doin'?"
"Layin' carpet in the den."

Pause...

"She got a sister?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 08:05 PM

A good shag is never forgotten. What are you all berbering on about? You're just persian into the wind here. Honest.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 07:07 PM

Punning that pile deeper, I see. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 03:51 PM

Piles need ointment, not publicity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 11:58 AM

well !
because puce and quiet is a lot more silent and less noticeable -
so how would the rest of us know who'd had the treatment unless there was piles of publicity about it ??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 11:57 AM

In this particular case, ommission is the better part of kindness. Have you SEEN that sucker?

Fortunately for Rapaire they can't pin nothin' on him...he wasn't even in the state when that carpet got laid. Besides, the carpet asserted it was eighteen, and everyone believed it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 11:53 AM

Why doesn't anyone ever receive the puce-carpet treatment?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 10:14 AM

SRS - you are then suggesting that Rap *NOT* give Pearl the red carpet treatment? sounds a little unfair to the lady.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 10:03 AM

No one ever said you couldn't be delusional to run a public library system. Your favorite child--Paugghhh! Ma knows a brown-noser when she sees one!

Pearl looks like a real gem! You treat her nice! Don't go toppling any of your home bookcases over on her. And did you replace that red carpet? It could blind her if you're not careful. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 08:46 AM

"Gay go and gay go down,
To ring the bells of Moab town."
When Moab Town's asleep in bed
Buried under other threads.

(with apologies to Kipling)
The Bells and Queen Victoria


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 08:46 AM

Dear Mom,

Today I go pick up Nancy Pearl at the airport and drop her off at the motel where the Idaho Library Association is having the annual conference. Which is right here in town, and of which I am the Conference Chair.

So, Mom, I might not be around as much for the next few days. Probably not until at least Saturday afternoon. But Duty Calls, and as you always taught me, "God, Country, Notre Dame, but not necessarily in that order." No, wait, that was the other thing you taught me. Or at least one of them. What I meant was "Duty, Honor, Country." Yeah, that was it. "Duty, Honor, Country." Which of course is why I'm living out here in a rural area and get involved in all those duels, because like you told me to do, I'm in the country and defending my honor (or, in UKish speaking countries, my honour). So now, Mom, Duty calls. And it's a like nicer call than the last time, when I ended up toting a machine gun around the hills in Korea. I kind of doubt that I'll have to carry an M-60 around the Red Lion. I don't think I'll need any claymores either. I have promised the Intellectual Freedom people they could borrow a rifle, sort of like that one only different. I won't give them any powder and ball, though, and why they want it I have no idea. Especially since they originally asked for a shotgun. Being intellectual freedom sorts they're all radicals, and we all know what you think of those sorts, Mom.

Anyway, I'll check back in when I can, Mom, but in the meantime, you take your medicine and remember that Amos is just a young kid, a little boy, and he's going to get into trouble no matter what. He's just that sort.

I'll check in when I can.

Your favorite child,
Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 12:25 AM

So go ahead and post your story in a new thread. Change the tenses so it looks like you just discovered that it has been out for a while, not that you are anticipating it's release, and you're set!

These kinds of stories always make me wish I'd spent more time reading works by the parties in question.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Oct 05 - 11:44 PM

I can tell you that Bobby was very fond of southern women writers like Carson McCullers, Flannery O'Connor and Eudora Welty, so a tagline alluding to one of them isn't surprising.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Oct 05 - 11:03 PM

Hey, time is relative anyway. 2004, 2005, 2007, whatever.

IMDb.

The page says, among other things, Tagline: "The heart is a lonely hunter." Hmmmm. Where have I heard that before? Oh, yeah, right: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter.

Ah, well. Does this look like the right story?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Oct 05 - 08:12 PM

Hah! Boy, was I ever smart to post that thing to the MOAB where only a handful of diehards would see it! Why? Because the friggin' movie came out last December! I was assuming that since the movie's ad on Grayson Capps website plainly says "Coming December 29th" that it was talking about this December. Wrong! Somebody forgot to update the ad.

I'm still gonna post the thing, but now some revision is called for.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Oct 05 - 07:00 PM

But before I do, I'm gonna research that pixie stomping poem a bit. I had always assumed Bobby wrote it, but don't remember if he ever actually said he had. Hell, even if he'd said he wrote it he might have been lying.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Oct 05 - 06:55 PM

You wear your breasts to their full extent, like a man with an uncontrollable bulge in his apartment.

And thanks for your suggestions that I post the Bobby Long thing on the main board. I wasn't sure if it would measure down to MOAB standards. Apparently, it doesn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Oct 05 - 04:04 PM

I wouldn't have thought of this one by myself (though Amos might have!):

A legion of French Bosoms could not match the lucid beauty of your toenails!


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