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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 05 Sep 05 - 06:08 PM
Acme 05 Sep 05 - 06:01 PM
JennyO 05 Sep 05 - 01:07 PM
Bunnahabhain 05 Sep 05 - 12:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 05 - 12:43 PM
Acme 05 Sep 05 - 12:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 05 - 12:05 PM
Bunnahabhain 05 Sep 05 - 11:52 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 05 - 11:46 AM
Amos 05 Sep 05 - 11:23 AM
Acme 05 Sep 05 - 10:52 AM
Amos 05 Sep 05 - 10:45 AM
Acme 05 Sep 05 - 10:36 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 05 - 10:30 AM
Acme 05 Sep 05 - 10:01 AM
Amos 05 Sep 05 - 09:54 AM
Bunnahabhain 05 Sep 05 - 05:14 AM
Acme 04 Sep 05 - 11:57 PM
Amos 04 Sep 05 - 03:27 PM
Acme 04 Sep 05 - 02:43 PM
Amos 04 Sep 05 - 12:19 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Sep 05 - 12:04 PM
Amos 04 Sep 05 - 10:56 AM
Acme 04 Sep 05 - 01:05 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 05 - 04:57 PM
Acme 03 Sep 05 - 04:46 PM
Acme 03 Sep 05 - 10:19 AM
Rapparee 03 Sep 05 - 09:08 AM
Bunnahabhain 03 Sep 05 - 07:27 AM
Acme 02 Sep 05 - 04:52 PM
Amos 02 Sep 05 - 02:03 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 05 - 01:40 PM
Acme 02 Sep 05 - 01:05 PM
MMario 02 Sep 05 - 09:43 AM
Amos 02 Sep 05 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 02 Sep 05 - 09:11 AM
Bunnahabhain 02 Sep 05 - 08:41 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Sep 05 - 02:50 AM
Acme 02 Sep 05 - 02:04 AM
Amos 02 Sep 05 - 01:41 AM
Rapparee 01 Sep 05 - 04:58 PM
Amos 01 Sep 05 - 04:07 PM
Amos 01 Sep 05 - 03:01 PM
Acme 01 Sep 05 - 02:16 PM
Amos 01 Sep 05 - 10:45 AM
Amos 01 Sep 05 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 01 Sep 05 - 10:32 AM
Acme 01 Sep 05 - 10:31 AM
Rapparee 31 Aug 05 - 03:54 PM
MMario 31 Aug 05 - 11:04 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 06:08 PM

BS is not somehting to get flushed about. A quick search says:

Results 1 - 10 of about 567 English pages for +Amos +Mudcat. (0.28 seconds)

28 centiseconds is pretty fast. A lot faster than FOADT.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 06:01 PM

So, are people flushed with excitement at the prospect of turning up in Google?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 01:07 PM

I just checked Google and it was one of my posts - very strange. I myself mentioned the flush of a distant toilet a number of times, and I was not the first person to mention the flush of a distant toilet.

"The flush of a distant toilet" was a phrase coined by Ebbie on this thread Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread , which was started by none other than your own Khing Khandu (posts are out of order of course). It contains some of the finest BS outside of the MOAB, including many fine examples of poetry about the flush of a distant toilet, the distant sounds of toilets flushing, the flushing sound of distant toilets, and distant sounds of toilets flushing - distantly.

Gems such as this:

I dropped the pasta in the pan
All meaning for to boil it
But I was interrupted by
The flush of a distant toilet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 12:43 PM

You're better off not knowing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 12:43 PM

Gee, I dunno, Maggie. But it's been mentioned three times so far in this thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 12:37 PM

I guess I've been reading the wrong threads. Where has the "flush of a distant toilet" appeared?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 12:05 PM

By the way, after all the many times "flush of a distant toilet" has been used recently on the Mudcat it only yields one* hit on Google. We must do something about that! All are urged to post the phrase to as many other Web forums as possible.


* Actually three hits, but they're all the same Mudcat post, just on different servers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 11:52 AM

I heard the first part of Stilly's sentence drifting on the breeze, but the rest was drowned out by the flush of a distant toilet.

It does sound like a perfect description of waking up Crystal though, especially if order is defined as bringing breakfast in bed...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 11:46 AM

In my post of 10:30 AM, Sept. 5, I used the term "above-mentioned". Well, since just about everybody doubtlessly accesses the MOAB in descending order, should that be "below-mentioned"? Or should we not make any assumptions and call it "above-mentioned for those viewing in ascending order/below-mentioned for those viewing in descending order" thus covering any and all eventualities and providing a modicum of protection from those who would pick nits? Or should we content ourselves with worrying about hunger, genocide, imperialism, xenophobia and the price of widgets and let the "above or below" thing slide?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 11:23 AM

BEst-Beloved Wyffe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 10:52 AM

BBW?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 10:45 AM

That said, however, it is immensely satisfying to see the beneficial results off a lot of work, dispelling Ugliness and Imposing Beauty ... well, at least, order. An excellent birthday present for the BBW.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 10:36 AM

Okay. I just read it out loud. Now it has been spoken.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 10:30 AM

I beg your pardon, Maggie, but there is no evidence that the above-mentioned unspoken rule has been spoken. It has been conceived, typed, uploaded, downloaded and read, but it remains unspoken until someone actually says it out loud. As far as we know Amos has not actually spoken the words, just typed them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 10:01 AM

That sounds like an unspoken rule of remodeling, Amos. And now it HAS been spoken. Amazing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 09:54 AM

My bones are aching and my knuckles are lined with caulk and touch-up paint. It is mazing, is it not, how fixing one thing in a mess suddenly brings a hundred lesser evils into plain sight,t hat had not been seen before? Order seems to unleash confusion from its sleep.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 05:14 AM

Moad suits my mood this morning.... tried and sleepy for no reason.

COFFEE!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 11:57 PM

Mom, you're slipping. Feeling a little down because Rapaire isn't back yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 03:27 PM

Bent wood would wind up playing a part. Unless this is a bentwood windup. That would rock the house indeed.

Served with thin-sliced ham on a French bun, we would have bentwood wind rock and roll!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 02:43 PM

For the sake of a pun, many rules are bent. For the sake of our musical collection, we haven't bent so far as to purchase any recordings of Mr. G playing any instrument.

It is an interesting exercise to consider what he might do with other wind instruments. Bagpipes, for example. Do you think he'd be trampled to death before finishing his first practice session, or when he tried to begin the second?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 12:19 PM

You would wind up making that point!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 12:04 PM

Not that it matters, but the instrument with which Kenny G spreads his insipidity is the soprano saxophone, not the Clair-net. They are both ill winds that nobody blows good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 10:56 AM

I thought Clair-net was some kind of a "do-holder" from the folks at Clairol hair products. No?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 01:05 AM

He doesn't need the Inter-net. He has the Clair-net. That reaches almost as far.









(and misspelling doesn't count in puns)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 05 - 04:57 PM

NEWSFLASH!!!

It has been revealed on another Web forum (which shall remain anonymous, of course) that MOAB founder "khandu" is, in fact, a well known though notoriously insipid pop music icon. CLICK!

Now we understand why though everyone knows that "khandu"'s real name is "Kenny", nobody knows his last name. It's because he doesn't have one! It's just a single letter, not a real name!

It also explains "khandu"'s periodic lengthy absences from the Mudcat. No, they're not due to having an away-from-home job or even due to periodic hospitalizations for "nervous disorders". They're just due to his being on tour in countries such as Botswana where Internet service is less reliable than in Mississippi. Musical icons on their downslides have to go wherever people still think they're cool, ya know. Carnegie Hall today, a mosquito-ridden dump in Belize tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 05 - 04:46 PM

I don't like to do push-ups, so I cranked up the computer to check on Mom. She's okay, but it has been a quiet afternoon. A little activity here as the village fire truck and ambulance and some other emergency vehicle just raced up the street. Banana bread is baking (had to use up those over-ripe bananas) and I'm getting ready to move the truck and run a couple of errand$. Exciting life here in MOAB this weekend, eh?

My super-speedy and cast-iron-stomach dog Cinnamon will be keeping me company as I work in the garage later. If Gluon wants to come around then he can bounce off the walls and hop in her pool with her. I don't have many more plastic pots to offer up for him to chew, she has demolished most of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 05 - 10:19 AM

It'll be interesting to hear how he explains Pat's injuries to this group. We'll expect a report back from the Rendezvous that she appeared as a frontier woman kicked by her mule or who was bruised up fighting off a grizzly bear or a berserk Attwater Prairie Chicken.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 05 - 09:08 AM

Dear Mom:

Pat and I are going to go here. We'll be back on Monday.

So, Mom, I'm going to leave you in the somewhat-capable hands of Others. I know that you don't quite trust them, but remember that I'll be back and if I find that you haven't been treated well There Will Be Consquences. I will press charges, swear out warrants, track them down, and in general make those responsible sorry for their actions (or lack thereof).

Have a wonderful time, Mom. Wish you were here.

R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Sep 05 - 07:27 AM

We're letting MOM slip again.

100 push-ups each before breakfast


It's a hard life sometimes. One of the dance groups I'm got given a few kegs of beer a few weeks back , at the end of a festival, and they're short-dated. There's a normally boring meeting coming up. There is a plan afoot to solve two problems in one go....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 04:52 PM

MMario, did you see the title The Thin Potter Man Keeps the Aspidistra Aloft--I believe it was only released in brail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 02:03 PM

Those are excellent titles, MM. I think you should move in with BWL, using him as an inspiorational role model, and craft the whole series. You could retire in affluence before you turn 41 and 1/2!~!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 01:40 PM

Never mind. The Legion has decided not to issue the RFP. They were under the impression that tea cozies were something other than what they are. Something about "Mr. T," beer kegs, mummy-style sleeping bags, and various deviant sexual practices involving pikas and/or orcas -- it not really very clear right now, and The Colonel is still a little under the weather (if you know what I mean).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 01:05 PM

At least Google is on the job! The links below are for "Tea Quilt tea cosies" (who knew!) and "Herbal Tea."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 09:43 AM

Noted Author A.K. Raving has announced the forthcoming publication of her latest novel 'Potter Man and the Cozy Conspiracy' for September 11th; the movie adaptation is expected to be released in time for Christmas viewing.

'Cozy Conspiracy' joins the ranks of other Raving successes - such as 'Potter Man and the Dolphin Dilemma', 'Potter Man and the Cruel Clay', 'Potter Man and the Murderous Manatees'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 09:38 AM

There we have -- a huge wasteland of government graft, waste, and bland anti-aesthetic spreading bureaucratic malaise over the land like a giant shadow. Only one man has the courage and the resources to stand against this overweening monstrosity: POTTER MAN, a humble artist standing alone, armed with nothing but his wits, his deep sense of beauty, fifty pounds of exotic clays, and a license to kiln on site.

What can Potter Man do in the face of this cancerous administrative morass?

Stay tuned, friends and neighbors, for the Adventures of Potter Man -- the lonely hero, standing tall against the invasive and powerful Government Sponsored Tea Cozy masses (GSTCM).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 09:11 AM

I want to give you a heads-up on what could be a very, very profitable venture.

The Idaho Legion is sending out an RFP for 30,000 tea cosies. Of course, these have to meet MIL-SPEC requirements and will have to be in various types of camouflage: woodland, desert, ocean, urban, Southern Californian, Hawaiian, cornstalk, potato barn, Boise, landfill, hazmat site, dungheap, High Arctic, mountain and so on -- whereever the Legion might find itself "brewing up." The budget for this project is up to US $100,000 per cosie -- of course, the greater costs are in recognition of the specialized materials needed for, say, a Nomex cozy in Martian Polar camo pattern.

"Only the best for the Legion!" exclaimed Colonel J. D. ("Wild Turkey") Walker-Seagrams, the Legion's commander at the press conference yesterday where the RFP was announced.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 08:41 AM

Don't bother with an internet pertition, do it the effective way.

Obtain various batches of explosives, suspicious white powders etc, and send them through the airports and postal system wrapped in tea-cosies. Make sure they tick a bit, and have some wires sticking out, and that way maybe 10% of them might get noticed. A few weeks of that, and tea-cosies will be banned, or at least require a licence to carry in public....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 02:50 AM

Oh, I'm okay, even if PoppaGator doesn't say so. Just haven't been able to get in much of a MOABic frame of mind since my recent excursion through Michianillinouri.

And I've decided to start an Internet petition calling for the abolition of tea cosies because they interfere with the aesthetics of teapots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 02:04 AM

Very nice. I think I'll hang out here for a while. I just threw a passionate essay back in the face of someone who shouldn't have hit the "submit" key on her big rant about genocide in New Orleans. I predict a big fire fight. So I'll just hang out with Gluon here on the comfy couch, knitting my snoods and tea cosies, and leave that mess alone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 01:41 AM

Western civ is really sumthin'
Now exploding, now galumphin'
Hitting heights of pure aesthetic
But voting for a cheap prosthetic;
Striving to push knowledge higher
But following the cheats and liars.
How do people hope to live
In the whirl of Western Civ?
Though their thoughts are like a cancer,
Westerners have found an answer!
They can make the world look rosy
With a flexible tea-cozy!
This is not just tommyrot
For those with different-shaped pots
Catch the vision, heed the call!
Now at last, one size fits all!

Meriwether Spinner
Corn Husks and Lawn Ornaments -- Collected Verse
Mawkish, Banal and Trite, Pub.
Clinton, Iowa, 1954


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 04:58 PM

Yay, Team!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 04:07 PM

Knit one, purl two,
The MMB is here for you!
Others may be daft or dozy
We will bring you new tea-cozies!
We're the ones so brave and bold
Who keep your tea from getting cold!
Never lame or dumb or daffy,
When there's been a cato-straphe.
Purl two, knit one,
Isn't helping others fun?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 03:01 PM

Perhaps you should organize the MOAB Mass Aid Deployment, Help and Teacozy Supply Brigade, Mag. I will gladly send a small donation to support the MOAB MADHATS Brigade!! Perhaps Rapaire can use his Legion experience (after all his experiences are legion!) to help organize it. We could teach the horses to swim and set off with saddlebags stuffed with voluntary contributions from obsessed tea-cozy knitters from all across America.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 02:16 PM

BWL sounds like he's okay. Does that count?

I don't usually read posts from The Shambles because of the nonsense he generates, but he just started a thread about wearing a tea cosy. I hadn't thought of it--should I bundle up my spare tea cosies to send to PappaGator and his family? They would look rather like one of those Russian fur hats in shape, except that they're various colors. One is blue flowers, the other is neon-bright ripstop nylon (it was a prototype for an adjustible tea cosy for people with more than one shaped pot).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 10:45 AM

BTW, BWL posted today saying he reckoned Poppagator was ok.

Poppagator has not told us that BWL is ok, though...should we be worried?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 10:35 AM

I'll check, but I suspect anyone in the range of severe disruption will not be checking email regularly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 10:32 AM

Well, the Urgent Care folks called my wife late yesterday afternoon. Seems like a re-reading of the x-rays shows that her right hand has, indeed, a fracture. At the base of her third finger, there is a crack and some flakes chipped off the bone. She has to wear a splint on her finger for about a month.

On her third finger.

The middle finger of her right hand.

"Hi, officer!"

"No, no, airport security officer...."

Oh, boy, are we getting some mileage from this one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 10:31 AM

Mudcat kind of removed the need to post the bit I wrote yesterday but was never able to get into the thread:

    Ya know, fellow MOABites, sometimes BS isn't enough to sustain itself. I think this is one of those times. Especially since our Tweed and Khandu are both down in this area and were largely responsible for kicking MOM into gear. Then there's others of us sitting down here in areas adjacent to the storm damage, and the fact that the entire nation is learning through worsening waves of information just how awful the damage was from Katrina.

    I don't want MOAB to be dispirited or lose momentum because our hearts aren't in it. I would like to suggest that we maybe give MOM a rest for about 23 hours. She'll survive if she drops down near the bottom of the page, and a little introspection won't hurt any of her acolytes.

    Know what I mean?

    A moment of silence, in the great continum as far as Gluon and the Freds and even the Shatnerites are concerned, is but a blink of an eye. But that eye needs to watch and shed a tear right now.

    I'll see you guys back here tomorrow some time.

    Maggie


We're back now, a day later, the thread has experiences a defacto moment of silence for many hours, and we've had time to assess some of what is going on and needs to be done.

Do we MOABites need to regroup now, and locate all of our regular participants? Where are Tweed and Khandu? How is Bee-Dubya-Ell doing? Over here to the west Texas wasn't impacted by Katrina, but the slop-over to the east hit all the way to Georgia with tornadoes.

Amos, is Gluon parked in your yard? Maybe he needs to go sniff out some of our regulars? (i.e. do you have emails for any of these folks?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 05 - 03:54 PM

Nah, he was only a so-so, sort of average, Dane.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Aug 05 - 11:04 AM

I wonder if the Dane they have available is a Great Dane or not?


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Mudcat time: 18 October 1:57 AM EDT

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