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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 08 Jan 05 - 01:43 AM
Amos 08 Jan 05 - 01:38 AM
Acme 08 Jan 05 - 12:20 AM
Acme 07 Jan 05 - 08:40 PM
Acme 07 Jan 05 - 04:00 PM
Tweed 07 Jan 05 - 03:52 PM
Amos 07 Jan 05 - 02:21 PM
Acme 07 Jan 05 - 02:10 PM
Rapparee 07 Jan 05 - 01:52 PM
Amos 07 Jan 05 - 01:42 PM
Rapparee 07 Jan 05 - 01:26 PM
Amos 07 Jan 05 - 09:49 AM
Acme 07 Jan 05 - 12:32 AM
Amos 06 Jan 05 - 06:24 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 05 - 05:58 PM
Amos 06 Jan 05 - 05:33 PM
Acme 06 Jan 05 - 01:33 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 05 - 01:25 PM
Amos 06 Jan 05 - 01:11 AM
Acme 05 Jan 05 - 10:13 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 05 - 10:09 PM
Amos 05 Jan 05 - 09:28 PM
Acme 05 Jan 05 - 07:01 PM
Tweed 05 Jan 05 - 05:45 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 05 - 05:19 PM
Acme 05 Jan 05 - 03:50 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 05 - 09:11 AM
Tweed 05 Jan 05 - 08:46 AM
Amos 05 Jan 05 - 07:53 AM
Amos 04 Jan 05 - 11:55 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 05 - 09:15 PM
Amos 04 Jan 05 - 08:45 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 05 - 08:35 AM
Amos 04 Jan 05 - 07:47 AM
Rustic Rebel 04 Jan 05 - 02:58 AM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 08:58 PM
Rustic Rebel 03 Jan 05 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 08:18 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 06:02 PM
GUEST,Tweed 03 Jan 05 - 05:45 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 05:36 PM
GUEST,Tweed 03 Jan 05 - 05:30 PM
Rustic Rebel 03 Jan 05 - 05:25 PM
GUEST 03 Jan 05 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 04:38 PM
MMario 03 Jan 05 - 04:24 PM
GUEST,Tweed 03 Jan 05 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 02:56 PM
GUEST,Tweed 03 Jan 05 - 02:46 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 02:12 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 01:43 AM

In your dreams! (I lied, I haven't made it to bed yet. But I'm going! The cats are scolding and the book is calling out to be read.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 01:38 AM

Gawd, what an elegant concatenation of souls that is!!!

Had I but an invitation there would be celebration beyond measure !

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 12:20 AM

This is it for me tonight. One of the rest of you is going to have to come along and boost Mom up overnight, 'cause I'm headed to bed. To read. It's Friday and the kids are at their Dad's house. It's just me and the cats and Mark Twain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 08:40 PM

The Mother seems to have suffered a brief fugue episode. She drifted along and forgot where she was. I found her wandering down near the bottom of the page, but have returned her home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 04:00 PM

You have a point there. (To be redundantly sublime, or should that be sublimely redundant?).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 03:52 PM

The Character of a Fugue:


A fugue generally consists of a series of expositions and developments with no fixed number of either. At its simplest, a fugue might consist of one exposition followed by optional development. A more complex fugue might follow the exposition with a series of developments, or another exposition followed by one or more developments. Fugues that are tonally centered will expose the subject without venturing out of an initial tonic/dominant constellation.

This all conforms to the general pattern of BS here. Sometimes a Fugue d'Tweed may consist of so much fine BS that a series of developments soon follow and sometimes the tide is out and the cone is low. Sometimes Tweed is just fugued. Sometimes Beedubz takes a bath, Rapaire gets ripped, and Khandu's Cantati can't get it up.

Right now we are between low and high cone, by the way. High tide and maximum distortion of my brain will occur at exactly 6:24 PM EST. Unfortunately I will be unable to share any of the Top Flight BS that will spill freely from it at that precise moment as I will be quaffing a cold one at the corner tavern. No doubt I will score low with this, but I have not mentioned the Canadian fellow who overacts one time today, and that should count for at least 5 points on it's own!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 02:21 PM

It would be a hard call, between the Fugues of Tweed, the Bathos of BeeDubyaEll, the Riffs of Rapaire, the Cantati of Khandu, the Eleganzi of Little Hawk and the Salients of SRS...I would not want the job myself!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 02:10 PM

Well, if it were to come down to a competition, no one can top this entry of Bee-dubya-ells. (scroll a little up that page to get the first couple of bits he posted in the lost dog story). It's the 10 that makes all other 10s actually 9.99999999s. So I won't keep score, but will offer them occasionally as a way to acknowledge excellence.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 01:52 PM

No, Amos, I think that a committee should vote upon it. A "Best of the Best" award, so to speak. You should certainly be in the running, but Shatner should be eliminated since he is a professional.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 01:42 PM

That's a sure winner, Rap. I think SRS should buy you one!! :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 01:26 PM

I don't prostitute chess by playing for money (of course, I'm not really terrific, either), I don't fence competitively, I don't shoot either guns or arrows competitively, and I don't fling the BS competitively.

It is nice to be recognized, though.

Perhaps an award, similar to the Oscars or the Golden Globes or the Critics' Choice, is needed.

May I suggest this?    It's in Latin, so its classy and everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 09:49 AM

Oh, now you have done it, SRS. You start handing out scores, people are gonna want prizes. Next thing you know you will swamped with flirtatious missives from every soi-disant bullmeister in town hoping for a piece of that ineffable admiration stuff. Jealousy in the halls of Bull. All night sweat sdessions dreaming up perfect score-getting posts. Aw, jeeze. No thanks. I couldn't stand the stress, and it would drive you crazy! Look what happened to Aine!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 12:32 AM

Amazing what the BS-meisters can make of even the slightest fluff around here! And Rapaire landed a perfect 10 with his Laura observation. (Is someone keeping score?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 06:24 PM

This also explains the results of the last election!! All those people were voting for different W's but punched the same button!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 05:58 PM

I understand that Laura can't tell between W, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 05:33 PM

OK, I'm putting in for Workman's Comp. Obviously I havge lost key operating abilities due to long hours in front of a monitor, as I can no longer tell the perfectly obviosu difference between W, W, W, or the more distinct W.

I guess I should thank you for making me face up to it, SRS!!


LOL



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 01:33 PM

Ye of little BS--the thorn is the "th" not the "v" sound. So why are you pronouncing V like TH? Amos, it just came through that way, what can I say? Your W looked like a W instead of a W. I think you were leaning on the keyboard a little too hard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 01:25 PM

I usually pronounce it as a thorn. Thus "Wagner" becomes "Thagner" and "whisky" becomes "thisky" and "water" becomes "thater" and so forth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 01:11 AM

Now just a cotton-picking minutem, here. If I type "W" as in "Vagner" the same "W" appears as when I type "W" as in "Wilson Pickett". So it is irrefutably and ineluctably demonstrated thereby that the addition to the symbol "W" of a "Vuh" or a "Wuh" sound is in the eye of he/she who reads the pixel! As chief pixellee of the VAH-gnerian phonemes, SRS< you must cast out the Vee in your own eye.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:13 PM

Amos, that should be Wagnerian with a "V" sound, not Wagnerian with a "W" sound. The "W" sound came through with your typing. Pay attention to these details, please!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:09 PM

How about blues opera or Wagnerian guitar?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 09:28 PM

Wow...talk about BS, look at that poor woman with her head full of pictures!! That's being unduly influenced by quackery, not tidery, which is Tweed's Conehead Syndrome (TCS). TCS sufferers tend to be middle-aged with strong emotional lives, attached to emotional forms of expression such as blues guitar or Wagnerian opera. The condition was reported in the April 1, 2001 edition of Scalpel, the professional journal of the British Association of Ob. Gyn. and related Specialists, who practice their love of women across London.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 07:01 PM

Is it something like this?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 05:45 PM

I am in a semi-coned state at present. High tide was at 2:55 PM today. It is now 5:36 and the cone is receding somewhat as is it's habit when the seas go out and is completely normal to my way of thinking. I would think that the only way to describe the shape of my skull would be by using an animated .gif image. I must try to put something together soon.

And I wish to thank Rapaire for being kind enough to look upon this condition of mine with his usual objectivity and natural curiousity. Many would only point and laugh at something so out of the norm, not realizing the potential of such a gift.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 05:19 PM

Normal in this case means the shape of Tweed's head when it is not under the influence of the lunar tides; that is, as it is defined in the first paragraph of my post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 03:50 PM

hand waving at the back of the room, over near the window

First define normal, please? And why should this term be applied to Tweed?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 09:11 AM

Actually, Tweed, given your nominal place of residence the tug would be greater at the upper sides of your head, not at the top. One definition of several possible ones (and perhaps the simplest) would describe your head as a right triangle ABC with right angle at the base, A, and the vertex at C with the side BC rotated about the center line AC. Thus the vector applied to the side of your head by the gravitional influence of the moon would cause a "perfect dome" to be formed.

If the gravitational force caused a "perfect dome" by exerting a vector on the top of your head, your head would have had to be flat to begin with.

CLASS ASSIGNMENT: What is the normal shape of Tweed's head?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 08:46 AM

REGARDING TIDES AND THE MOON'S INFLUENCE ON THE HUMAN SKULL

The tides at a given place in the Earth's oceans occur about an hour later each day. Since the Moon passes overhead about an hour later each day, it was long suspected that the Moon was associated with tides. Newton's Law of Gravitation provided a quantitative understanding of that association.

Differential Forces
Consider a water molecule in the ocean. It is attracted gravitationally by the Earth, but it also experiences a much smaller gravitational attraction from the Moon (much smaller because the Moon is much further away and much less massive than the Earth). But this gravitational attraction of the Moon is not limited to the water molecules; in fact, the Moon exerts a gravitational force on every object on and in the Earth. Tides occur because the Earth is a body of finite extent and these forces are not uniform: some parts of the Earth are closer to the Moon than other parts, and since the gravitational force drops off as the inverse square distance, those parts experience a larger gravitational tug from the Moon than parts that are further away.


I hesitate to even make mention of this but....
I've noticed for some time now, that during certain times of the day the top of my head begins to rise towards the heavens and becomes a perfectly formed cone. Does this phenomenon occur to any other MOABS or is it unique to me alone?

Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 07:53 AM

Alas, I have placed a foot in a mouth, and neither of them mine, and thus let the Mother begin a decline. Let there be moaning at bar, and high seas at the channel mouth, and low seas ashore, that the MOABites may fear to stray from their mother. Let there be Trye BS in the home of the mother.

Just between us mothahs...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:55 PM

Lordy, Lordy, now we got us TWO high-falutin transcendees to hafta deal wit! This is almost too much, Olive!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 09:15 PM

Oh, I don't know, Amos. I have found the recent BS here to be somewhat mildly amusing, especially that of the being which calls itself "Tweed."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:45 PM

Little Hawk:

Tell ya what - when we want someone to put a superior-sounding, condescending and patronizing piece of tripe here n the MOAB we'll run right over and ask you for it, ok?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:35 AM

I see you people have been getting into some interesting stuff in the last few days. The hungry mind is most gratified by endlessly diddling on about inconsequential things and keeping itself amused while life slips by.... :-)

Better than usual for the MOABS, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 07:47 AM

"A brightrneess that measures the light...."

Ahh, that would be yer own loverly self, fer sure!! Sweetly said, as only a poet roper might!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 02:58 AM

It is a kindness that reaps a kindness. A love that is a deeply infected love. A brightness that measures the light, unto all those that breath the air of color, into their souls and finds itself a highlight unto it.

I will not repeat an unnecessary transpired surge of emotion unto thee,
but I will let you all know I'm still as horny as can be.


I will not falter as I speak Of all the things that have transpired as of the first of the year 2005. I know I am still a poet roper and will never change in that fact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 08:58 PM

Benevolent to the worthy, remember?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 08:26 PM

Thank you very much Rapaire. I was just fine with my story. I didn't know who you were talking about so I looked up Guytrash. Now you have me thinking my imagination is a freak or was it that I inspired the dog from hell? I will never know for sure will I? Except that smile...
guytrash

Right back at you Tweed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 08:18 PM

Well now, I thought I'd just pass on a tidbit about George W. Bush:

George Washington Bush (1790?-1863), an experienced frontiersman and successful farmer, was one of the wealthier pioneers to follow the Oregon Trail west. His father, of African descent, was said to be a sailor, and his mother was an Irish American servant. As a young man, Bush worked as a voyageur and trapper for fur trading companies, including the famed Hudson's Bay Company (HBC). During this time he traveled extensively in the Western plains and mountains, perhaps reaching Puget Sound.

By the 1830s, Bush had settled in Missouri and married Isabella (or Isabell) James (c. 1809-1866), a young German American woman with whom he had five sons (a sixth was born in the West). Bush farmed and raised cattle, and the family was well off. However, Missouri, a slave state, had passed racial exclusion laws, and Bush and his sons faced increasing bigotry and discrimination. In an effort to escape the discrimination, the Bushes joined the family of their friend Michael Simmons, a white Kentuckian, and three other white families related to the Simmons, to head west on the Oregon Trail. Bush's frontier experience made him a valuable addition to the party.

When the Simmons party reached the Columbia River in the fall of 1844, they found that the provisional government of Oregon Territory had enacted discriminatory laws, like those of Missouri, barring settlement by African Americans. Not wishing to separate from the Bush family, Simmons and the other members of the party decided to locate north of the Columbia, where American settlers and their provisional government had not yet extended their reach. The party spent the winter of 1844-45 on the Columbia, not far from Hudson's Bay Company's Fort Vancouver in present-day Clark County.


Want to know what happened? His claim was upheld by the US Congress, he farmed Bush Prairie until he died, and his son William O. Bush was a member of the first Washington State legislature. The Bushes were one of the wealthiest families in the Territory.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 06:02 PM

No, no, no! You got 5500, not 1! Khandu got 1, years and years and years and years and years ago.

But I got dibs on 5555!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 05:45 PM

No, it was named

#5500



I got one! I got one!! The day is complete.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 05:36 PM

RR, was the dog named Guytrash, by any chance?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 05:30 PM

My God, how I do love you Rustic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 05:25 PM

Perhaps the day was to be bright and blue, perhaps it was to be driving snow. Either way I know for certain it was a fog that remained in my brain that day, just like a dream.
I was playing a variant of a humoresque, combined with a aubade, which was to be the prelude to an intermezzo in a capriccio form on my harmonica on the first day of the year 2005, in the early hour of 6:00 AM.
I cannot say for certain if it was the music or the form of the music that lent itself to the following events that took place. I only can say I was changed and am not entirely the same person I once was.

I was sitting alone, upstairs. I was playing quite intense. You cannot play a cappriccio unless it is intense, in my opinion.
The room was dimly lit by three candles in the eastern windows. I was hitting a high crescendo and I heard a sound behind me. I turn around to look from where the sound was and standing, or rather lurking behind me was a strange dog of unusual proportions.
It's legs where long and lean, with small paws and it looked like it had 7 toes on each foot. It's body was short and fat like that of a bulldog and it's head was over-bearing and large. It was hard to believe it could balance itself. The face of the dog was huge and it was smiling and stood swaying to the music.
I didn't know this dog but it did not cast fear my way as I continued to play in a glissando fashion.
I was quite mesmerized at this animal. I would play allargando, the amimal would sway at a slower pace. I would play allegro and it would sway quite faster.
I thought I would really check this out and I began to play a divertimento. The dog got up on it's long thin back legs and started doing these short, jumpy little movements.

Believe me when I tell you this, it was hard to play my harmonica and not laugh at this point.
I started to play a berceuse and the dog started to cry. Quickly I went back into a rhapsody and soon the dog was smiling again.
I don't know why none of this phased me, or frightened me. It seemed such a natural thing, and I was as into it, as this strange dog-animal was. I couldn't stop.
I played for nearly an hour with this creature squatting , swaying, smiling and shaking and as the sun began to rise I went into a final requiem.
My mistake.
Suddenly, and without much warning the animal let out a howl that was more than deafening. The windows rattled to extreme. The candles went out as if a gale of wind blew through. I heard the people downstairs let out screams when they were awakened by the sound. I watched as the animal became a whirlwind of my sheet music. It rose in a fashion of a tornado.
That's when I stopped playing. And a sudden as I did, my sheet music settled to the floor.
I heard the people downstairs say something like "For what is real and what is aboriginal, cannot be fucked with".
I look down at my messed up sheet music and on the top of my windblown pages was one blank page containing the only evidence and proof that this all happened.
A single paw print from an animal with 7 toes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 04:39 PM

..or a Blues site after a cloth used to cover luggage and vintage amplifiers.
I agree Mmario. Completely absurd.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 04:38 PM

But the tree was named for the Chief!

It is written so on a copper tablet (which has disappeared during The War) that found in 1832 inside a mound along the Natchez Trace by the noted scholar William Harpe and translated by his brother, Joshua.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 04:24 PM

naming a city after a tree? About as probably as naming a website after a fish! Who'd believe it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 04:15 PM

Well here's an equally unbelievable story....

Incorporated as a city in 1870 and named after the native Tupelo gum tree, Tupelo's modern history can be traced to the convergence of the Mobile & Ohio and the Kansas City, Memphis & Birmingham railroads in 1887. As a rail distribution and manufacturing center, Tupelo achieved several firsts, including the first city in the nation to provide its citizens with dependable, inexpensive electric power through the Tennessee Valley Authority.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 02:56 PM

You completely forgot to mention, Tweed, the Battle of Tupelo, which was fought there during the Late Unpleasantness Between The States.

I (insert a modest cough here) have had the privilege of visiting, not only the battlefield upon which this engagement was fought, but Tupelo its very own self.

As for the truth about the story of Two Pillows, you can find this inscribed upon a Standing Stone at the tippy-top of the Priest's Mound at Cahokia (the one across the river from St. Louis, not one with the drag strip -- that's a couple hunnert miles north).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 02:46 PM

Named after the Mississipian chief "Two Pillows", who dwelt at Cahokia Mounds.

This is true, 'cause I haven't lied to you recently.


HOO!! That is TWO lies in a row and a shitload of BS, Rapaire! You are much to be commended for your efforts to keep the BS flowing like a fountain. I'd much rather hear a good lie than the truth anyday, and that is why I hang out on this thread.

Actually the name came from the days when the Underground Railroad was in operation. An ancient man, called Zacharias McFee, who operated a way station for escaping slaves and hid them in his root celler while they waited for transportation to the Tennessee line. He'd dug it himself on his 78th birthday and vowed to make it only as big as what he could dig in one day and consequently it could only hold a couple of people comfortably. When the wagoner would arrive at midnight he'd ask, "How many tonight Zack?" and Zacharias would reply, "There's two below."

Needless to say, the present day town of Tupelo grew up around this little shack and then Elvis was born and it's main industry is guided tours around the streets that Elvis' feet had touched at one time or other. There is much talk at the city hall about changing the name to either "Elvisville" or "Presley City" these days, I'm told.

And that is the true story of how Tupelo got it's name.

Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 02:12 PM

Named after the Mississipian chief "Two Pillows", who dwelt at Cahokia Mounds. The town was originally Two Pillows, but the folks living there slurred it together as "Twopillow" and one day the Daughters of the South, embarrassed by the sexual connotations of "two pillows", started pronouncing the name of the place as "TOO-puh-low." Then, by political chicanary, they got the Post Office to respell the town's name and the rest is history.

This is true, 'cause I haven't lied to you recently.


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