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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 07 Oct 17 - 11:18 PM
Rapparee 07 Oct 17 - 09:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Oct 17 - 11:54 PM
Acme 06 Oct 17 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM
Amos 06 Oct 17 - 05:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Oct 17 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 06 Oct 17 - 09:48 AM
Donuel 05 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM
Acme 05 Oct 17 - 10:16 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 17 - 09:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Oct 17 - 02:55 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 17 - 09:33 AM
Acme 04 Oct 17 - 09:53 PM
Rapparee 04 Oct 17 - 08:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Oct 17 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 03 Oct 17 - 09:32 AM
Donuel 02 Oct 17 - 11:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Oct 17 - 05:02 PM
Amos 02 Oct 17 - 01:57 PM
Vashta Nerada 02 Oct 17 - 01:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Oct 17 - 12:13 PM
Rapparee 02 Oct 17 - 08:58 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Oct 17 - 08:54 AM
Acme 01 Oct 17 - 08:40 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 17 - 06:37 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Sep 17 - 01:04 PM
Donuel 30 Sep 17 - 11:48 AM
Acme 30 Sep 17 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 29 Sep 17 - 10:09 AM
Donuel 29 Sep 17 - 09:32 AM
Amos 28 Sep 17 - 11:58 PM
gnu 28 Sep 17 - 03:07 PM
Rapparee 28 Sep 17 - 02:05 PM
Donuel 28 Sep 17 - 12:39 PM
Rapparee 28 Sep 17 - 09:26 AM
MMario 27 Sep 17 - 11:24 AM
keberoxu 27 Sep 17 - 10:10 AM
Acme 26 Sep 17 - 07:04 PM
Donuel 26 Sep 17 - 09:26 AM
Donuel 25 Sep 17 - 10:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Sep 17 - 08:59 PM
Donuel 25 Sep 17 - 12:32 PM
Acme 25 Sep 17 - 12:10 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 17 - 02:35 PM
Donuel 24 Sep 17 - 01:11 PM
Amos 24 Sep 17 - 12:11 PM
Donuel 24 Sep 17 - 09:02 AM
keberoxu 23 Sep 17 - 07:01 PM
Amos 23 Sep 17 - 01:08 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Oct 17 - 11:18 PM

Chonga who was Chongo has never lived down his/her shame at the way he/she treated his/her mother and his/her sister Chinga. So it is no surprise he or she is subject to episodes of acute depression. If only s/he could face up to his or her regrets and guilts, he/she could be made whole again. But nooooo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 17 - 09:22 PM

Facebook translates the late Chonga Chimp's "Ook ook!" as "Tsk tsk." But lately, I don't know where or how, I have lost all my mirth and everything seems nothing except barren earth, a miasma of foul odors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 11:54 PM

I do not use Google Translate. If one of my posts appears to be in some language other than American English, you can rest assured it is 100% gibberish. No translation is necessary. Or even possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 10:46 PM

Google translate gets to be fun when you take one bit of text, translate it through several other languages, then back to English to see what comes back. We've conducted that game in the past, but since the software has gone through revisions, we ought to give it another test.

That paragraph, above, "translated" below. I didn't write them down as I selected the language to translate to, and I think I broke Google Translate. It stopped working a couple of times till I switched browsers.

French
Google traduit devient amusant lorsque vous prenez un peu de texte, traduisez-le dans plusieurs autres langues, puis retournez en anglais pour voir ce qui revient. Nous avons mené ce jeu dans le passé, mais comme le logiciel a révisé, nous devrions lui donner un autre test.

German
Google übersetzt macht Spaß, wenn Sie einen kleinen Text machen, ihn in mehrere andere Sprachen übersetzen und dann zurück ins Englische gehen, um zu sehen, was zurückkommt. Wir haben dieses Spiel in der Vergangenheit geführt, aber als die Software überarbeitet wurde, sollten wir es noch einmal testen.

Yiddish?
Google iberzetsung shpas ven ir makhn a kleyn text, iberzetsn es in etlekhe andere shprakhn, aun demolt geyn tsurik tsu english tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. mir hobn geshfilt dem shpil in der fargangenhayt, ober ven di veykhvarg iz riveyzd, mir zol prubirn es vider.


Slovak
Google iberzetsung sa vyskytne po kliknutí na text, iberzetsn es in etlekhe andere shprakhn, aun demolt geyn tsurik tsu english tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. zrýchlit hubu, ktorá je viditelná v kanáloch, ktoré sa nachádzajú vo vzdialenosti od mora.

Spanish
Google iberzetsung aparecerá después de hacer clic en el texto, iberzetsn es en etlekhe andere shprakhn, una demolición geyn tsurik tsu Inglés tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. para acelerar el cubo, que es visible en los canales que están situados a una distancia del mar.

This is supposed to be the same thing, back in English:
Google iberzetsung will appear after clicking on the text, iberzetsn is in etlekhe andere shprakhn, a demolition geyn tsurik tsu English tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. to accelerate the cube, which is visible in channels that are located at a distance from the sea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM

Actually, Amos, I have excellent hearing aids AND bluetooth accessories courtesy of the Veterans Administration. I also have an iPhone now, and an iPod Touch, and I'm thinking of an iPad (just a little one). But if I go to an iPad what do I do with the Acer and Asus little computers I have? The Asus even comes apart to I can use part of it as a tablet.

You're correct about using Google Translate. So I leave you with this thought, translated by my very own brain: Dondé esta las cervezas? Yo tengo muy, muy sed. Y yo tengo hambre, pero no por su cuerpo, por carne asada.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 05:07 PM

Rapp, maybe this will be hard for you to hear--you are famous for the hardness of your hearing. But as a friend I have to tell you: using Google Translate to say things in foreign tongues does NOT make you seem exotic, alluring, mysterious, worldly OR wise. There is another set of adjectives that DO come into play for such behaviors but I forebear (out of kindness, I suppose).

God bless all who walk these hallowed halls!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 11:46 AM

"Harnee, karnee, eekanarnee!"

Bullwinkle Moose, The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, 1964


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 09:48 AM

Á veturna sefur mađur í innsiglishúđum og björnaskinnum, aldrei ull. Therefore I have provided Mom with the finest so that as the weather becomes chilly she can keep her old bones warm. Brennivín mun einnig halda henni vel eins og ţađ gerđi fyrir vikurnar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM

A sleeping porch in early October defended only by wool blankets.

That is so damn quaint


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 10:16 PM

But did it have to do with the weather I had just remarked upon?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 09:48 PM

So true! It's Basque, a language in which my fluency is legendary. I am fluent in Profane, Obscene, and Blasphemous but I try to restrain myself from demonstrating said fluency.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 02:55 PM

Well, I certainly can't argue with that!

(Mainly because I can't be bothered with determining what language it is and, then, translating it. So' I'll assume it's something truthful and compelling, not meaningless gibberish.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 09:33 AM

Or, to put it another way, "Ama! Ezin dut irakurri nire mahaspasekin alegia!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 17 - 09:53 PM

Glad to see a nice mix of visitors in the parlor - the front porch is getting a little chilly, and the sleeping porch has extra blankets on the beds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 17 - 08:56 PM

????!

? ?? ???? ?????????, ??? ?? ??????? ?? ???? ??????? ?? ????? ?? ?????!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Oct 17 - 10:51 PM

Mom!

I can't read what it says on my raisin bran box!

It's written in the Cerealic alphabet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 17 - 09:32 AM

I stand, or rather sit, corrected, Amos. I believe now that you have indeed crawled the ratlines up to the foretop rear mizzen sprit.

No, Bee-Dub, I didn't bring any ice home. You see, the glaciers are flat dab-smack on to of volcanoes! I tried, but I nearly burned my little pinkies off and then I couldn't play the liar Amos had made for me. (I thought it was spelled "lyre" but he said it was "liar.")

And Amos is not alone in suffering minor medical mishaps. December 4 I will have surgery (again!) for both cubital and carpal tunnel syndromes. Fortunately, it's my left hand so I'll still be able to swing a swath with my sword.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 11:02 PM

OJ was released from a Nevada prison yesterday. Today, murder and mayhem in Los Vegas. Coincidence or Brietbart fact. You be the judge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 05:02 PM

In elementary school, I was told that the Vikings had a very hard time recruiting willing settlers for colonies in Iceland because the place's name, "Iceland", gave the impression that it might be a bit uninviting.

So, when a later bunch of Vikings discovered another large island that was just as cold, desolate, and uninviting as Iceland, they named it "Greenland". Settlers signed up by the droves.

The same principle has been followed by Florida land developers for decades. Would you rather live in "Holly By the Sea" or "Holly a Few Miles Inland From the Sea"? Guess which is the more accurate description of the place?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 01:57 PM

Hark! New voices ring in the dusty corners of Mom's shadowy manse!

Again, I must make amends for absence, but it is so time consuming being alive and well. Actually, I have been intermittently unwell in minor ways, and will certainly post requests for sympathy should anything serious develop. Sympathy is SO useful and healing, isn't it? But today's a good day and I send my spriteliest vibrations out to all those ever touched by Mom's gracious halo of influence.

Rapparree, all is forgiven. Go ye home, start anew!

As for sailing, I can only beg to differ with your uninformed, uncharitable, uneducated, mean-spirited and curmudgeonly remarks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Vashta Nerada
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 01:36 PM

He won't need to go out for ice soon - It's October in Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 12:13 PM

Rap, are you bringing any ice back with you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 08:58 AM

Going home now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 08:54 AM

I've decided to get a tattoo that says, "I thought this tattoo was a great idea at the time."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 17 - 08:40 PM

A day without Internet isn't like a day without sunshine - because when you have no Internet you might as well go outside and enjoy the sunshine. I dug more sweet potatoes today. MOM, we need marshmallows. It's time for pumpkin pie spices in the sweet potatoes. Mmmmm!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 17 - 06:37 AM

Of course. Them naughty-call hats belong on sailors. Amos ain't no sailor. He ain't climbed no ratlines up to the foretop rear mizzen sprit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 01:04 PM

I like Amos's hat better than Heff's yachtsman's cap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 11:48 AM

Trump calls it a dump


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 11:41 AM

Amos probably left California so he wouldn't be the one stuck clearing out the mess at the old Playboy manse. I hear it's long in the tooth and needing much attention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 17 - 10:09 AM

Of course you ain't dead yet! You've just killed off the Hugh Heffner persona so you can get back to your roots in the Cult of Yog-Sothoth, patron of North Carolina! Heff would never do that, so he had to go, and as Amos you "find" the millions and millions you put in various places around the state.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Sep 17 - 09:32 AM

So Amos is the half brother.
If its not one thing its another
With Hugh's brother Keith deceased
This makes Amos famous
Lets get plastered
You lucky bastard.

Maybe you'll inherit a car


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 11:58 PM

I am pleased to report that I ain't dead yet, unlike the Heff. When he was alive I harbored an ambition to wlk into the Chicago Mansion and demand the checkbook, but that dream has been OBE. Lo, how the mighty have fallen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 03:07 PM

Hugh probably has children named Nug and Yeb but doesn't know it... ahhh... knew it.

RIP Hugh and thanks for all the orgasms. Ahhhh, I mean, great articles... like the in depth interviews with Jimmy Carter, Fidel Castro, Gary Gilmore and hundreds of others. Hugh moved the consciousness of a generation (or three+) of many selling tits and ass and intelligence and compassion. What a business model! Pun definitely intended.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 02:05 PM

Conclusively proven! Amos. Hugh Hefner.

All these Years, hiding his real identity. Now, he fakes his own death so that he can live in obscurity in an obscure town in North Carolina for some obscure reason (actually, he's in the Obscure Witness Protection Program [OWPP, pronounced "OW Pee-Pee"] but using his real name). His motives for this are obscure, but he may have joined a right-wing political cult involving Yog-Sothoth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 12:39 PM

consult the book 'The Asshole in the Castle Beyond the Lagoon'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 09:26 AM

I am investigating the REMARKABLE resemblance between Amos and Hugh Hefner. Will post results today, I hope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Sep 17 - 11:24 AM

Hey Mom! I'm home from my extended GETAWAY trip - spent the week going to yarn stores and a dyeshop; then the 23rd and 24rth at Maryland Renaissance festival. Drove home monday and collapsed yesterday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 Sep 17 - 10:10 AM

Up and at 'em, MOM.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Sep 17 - 07:04 PM

This evening I gave my next door neighbor a lesson in using a packing tape dispenser. Tip your hand down at the end, don't twist. I should have also tipped her off to the fact that it's a really great weapon. MOM knows about that, chasing off door-to-door salesman by waving the dispenser at them as they approach the front porch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Sep 17 - 09:26 AM

Hey Rap you have the spleen of a poet and a rectum full of wisdom.

"keep your mind full and your bowels empty"
Robin Williams.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Sep 17 - 10:32 PM

That is some real repetitive redundancy fer sure dude


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Sep 17 - 08:59 PM

Mom!

Why do people say something is an "added bonus"?

Of course it's added! If it were subtracted, it wouldn't be a bonus, would it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Sep 17 - 12:32 PM

we call it a dishwasher.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 17 - 12:10 PM

My plates are together all of the time. What's wrong with yours, Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 17 - 02:35 PM

Today I was where the plates come together--or more accurately, part. Thingvellir.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Sep 17 - 01:11 PM

That ain't no poem. Its a parody with a limp.

Poems are disembodied outstretched souls
racing in a jet stream so quick
it takes strong legs and fast hands
to jump up and grab one out of thin air
and most importantly, write it down.
Hearts and minds play their part
but that is not where poems start.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 17 - 12:11 PM

Ah, Donuel, you've the soul of a poet.

I apologize for calling Rapaire a shriveled knackwurst. It is just that he specialoizes in being so rude and offensive. It's part of his silly "superior over-inflated pseudo-solipsistic gasconade, his pretended outrecuidance, if you will. Or, in his case, even if you won't!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Sep 17 - 09:02 AM

I dreamed I heard Ali last night
alive as you or me
How is this you're 1 year dead?
"stand for war and be dumb or take a knee for freedom"
said Ali.

The old white racists hated you, they hated you said I
It takes cold silence to kill a Man, I never died said he.
"Peace is hard. War is failure. Speak a word, Lift a finger".
said Ali.

The racists are in charge again
They're in charge again said I
If you take a knee for freedoms sake We'll never be victims
Don't be silent victims.

I dreamed I heard Ali last night
alive as you or me , he said
Sometimes it takes all your strength, just to be free
Float like a cloud , sting like a bee
said Ali


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Sep 17 - 07:01 PM

I can't say anything to top "shriveled knackwurst." so:

Come on, MOM, let's get you out of the basement and back upstairs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 17 - 01:08 AM

It was a grand Getaway and BBW enjoyed it (her first!) immensely. She deserves me, you shriveled knackwurst, as much as I her!


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