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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 18 Nov 05 - 03:33 PM
Amos 18 Nov 05 - 09:15 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 05 - 09:17 PM
Rapparee 19 Nov 05 - 10:17 AM
Acme 19 Nov 05 - 10:54 AM
MMario 19 Nov 05 - 08:14 PM
Amos 19 Nov 05 - 08:32 PM
Rapparee 19 Nov 05 - 10:07 PM
Amos 20 Nov 05 - 12:43 AM
Acme 20 Nov 05 - 03:27 AM
Acme 20 Nov 05 - 10:35 AM
Amos 20 Nov 05 - 01:30 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 05 - 01:44 PM
Amos 20 Nov 05 - 07:43 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 05 - 09:47 PM
Acme 20 Nov 05 - 10:23 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 05 - 11:09 PM
Amos 20 Nov 05 - 11:25 PM
Acme 21 Nov 05 - 12:48 AM
Amos 21 Nov 05 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 21 Nov 05 - 09:42 AM
Amos 21 Nov 05 - 10:38 AM
MMario 21 Nov 05 - 10:54 AM
Bunnahabhain 21 Nov 05 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 05 - 01:05 PM
MMario 21 Nov 05 - 01:11 PM
Amos 21 Nov 05 - 03:18 PM
MMario 21 Nov 05 - 03:26 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 05 - 04:24 PM
Bunnahabhain 21 Nov 05 - 06:01 PM
Acme 21 Nov 05 - 09:12 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 05 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 05 - 09:55 PM
Amos 21 Nov 05 - 10:31 PM
Acme 21 Nov 05 - 11:51 PM
Cluin 22 Nov 05 - 02:45 AM
MMario 22 Nov 05 - 08:26 AM
Rapparee 22 Nov 05 - 09:34 AM
JennyO 22 Nov 05 - 11:12 AM
MMario 22 Nov 05 - 11:20 AM
Acme 22 Nov 05 - 11:30 AM
Rapparee 22 Nov 05 - 12:53 PM
Amos 22 Nov 05 - 01:50 PM
Acme 22 Nov 05 - 06:39 PM
Amos 22 Nov 05 - 07:53 PM
Amos 22 Nov 05 - 08:28 PM
khandu 22 Nov 05 - 08:59 PM
MMario 22 Nov 05 - 11:49 PM
Acme 23 Nov 05 - 12:13 AM
Paco Rabanne 23 Nov 05 - 09:12 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 03:33 PM

What a bizaare coincidence that you would say "muttonchops" as I am growing muttonchops for my winter job.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 09:15 PM

You're portraying a Victorian warehouse manager in a Sheridan revival?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 09:17 PM

What an absolutely remarkable coincidence! I'm not growing muttonchops! Will wonders never cease?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 10:17 AM

Hi, Mom! Did you know that this is the birthday of Charles I of England? Yeah, the guy who lost his head over Parliament. And also James A. Garfield and George Rogers Clark and lots and lots of other people! And that on this day in 1915 Joe Hill was executed and that in 1985 Stepan Fetchit died and no, I don't think that the two events are related. And that in 1863 Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address?

But most importantly, Mom, this is the anniversary of something that has had profound effects on not only the United States, but the Whole World!

Yes, Mom. On November 19, 1959, the Ford Motor Company finally cancelled the Edsel!! Doesn't that give you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 10:54 AM

BWL we've missed you! Once that "have you never opened 'that' thread" drops way below the line the curious will stop taking a gander and getting in will be easier.

I have some lamb in the freezer, that's as close as I can get to muttonchops.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 08:14 PM

Amos - I play a victorian Town Crier - in the US, in 1842.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 08:32 PM

Jolly good shew. Oyez! Oyez!! Town crier grows muttonchops!! Nine o'clock and all's weeellll...

Mom, I am real tired. We are STILL shopping for bathroom bits and pieces and iti s exhausting plus today the bills on all this started coming in plus I had to redo about ten big fat stones on the waterfall and move furniture too. Please send money. I want to go to Little Reebok Island for a diving vacation...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 10:07 PM

Is that where the natives of San Diego dive from cliffs and catch coins tossed overboard by tourists in their teeth?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 12:43 AM

Little Reebok Island is a little-known little island in the Carribean, west of Birkenstock and south of Weejun Bay, hard by Loafer Key. It is known for its sole filet, and its strait-laced uppers class.

Shoe enuff!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 03:27 AM

In the evenings for entertainment the tourists clog.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 10:35 AM

The 'Cat crashed last night before I could post another thought:

    Darned cat, he's here trying to hop into my lap and is purring and rubbing and trying to convince me that it is time to go to bed. He just rubbed up against the computer on the low shelf of this desk and opened the CD drive. Oy! Straight shot of cat hair in the works if he does that very often!


I know no one else has animals that interfere with their computing, so that may seem an odd, incomprehensible remark. But then there is Gluon, and I wonder if some of the fuss and bother Amos is going to in his remodel job has something to do with Gluon-proofing his den?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 01:30 PM

Trying to proof up my study against Gluon would require letting major space-time fabric remedial contracts, and the insurance company won't cover damage to the space-time continuum. Don't think I didn't ask, either!!! :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 01:44 PM

I run Windows, so my computer has bugs. Do they count as pets? I really don't care for them very much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 07:43 PM

Using WIndows does not qualify you as a pet owner; but it does certify you in certain other categories.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 09:47 PM

Frankly, I much prefer Linux or Unix, But Circumstances Prevent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 10:23 PM

I've discovered the source of the fire ants in my bathroom (coming in via a little hole under the trim quarter-round behind the commode). I also found an earring that moonglow lost a couple of weeks ago. Getting ready for the holidays means clearing up some of the pest problems before guests arrive and the jewelry recovery is a nice bonus.

I don't suppose Gluon would come chase away my fire ants but leave my dogs alone? They don't need any more encouragement to misbehave.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 11:09 PM

Invite him. You can never tell. This might be unfortunate, not being able to tell....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 11:25 PM

If you call, he will come; OR, if you call, he will stay away. Depends on the probability matrix of the moment and the direction of attention of the observer, I guess...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 12:48 AM

Betcha if I go to the back door with table scraps in my hand he'd come quickly. My girls might even beat him to it--traveling at the speed of light IS relative (to how much you want the food being offered--and these two are always hungry!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 09:37 AM

Only if you decompose them to their constituent bosons. Most Cuisinarts can't chop that fine, so you may have to borrow the University's accelerator or ship your table scraps out to these guys for processing to make them more Gluon's speed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 09:42 AM

WARNING!! WARNING!!! WARNING!!!!

ALERT! ALERT!! ALERT!!!

All MOABites! Take head!! Listen up!!! Be Prepared!!!!

I am letting you in on a secret so that you can Be Prepared when the time comes. You can either listen to me and come out of the Coming Crisis wealthy beyond your wildest fantasies, not to mention alive and healthy, or broken in health and spirit, destitute and scuttering in the gutter for a discarded cigar butt for dinner.

I am refering to the impending Number Crunch.

The world is running out of numbers. IP addresses are already scarcer than hen's teeth, ISBNs are getting that way, and Who Know What Will Be Next. Well, I do and I'm gonna let you in on it because Mother's children can and must survive the Number Crunch. And I'm doing this for free, because I'm a good-hearted sort of guy, but who wouldn't turn down a gift or a percentage of the take, either.

But what isn't widely known -- YET -- is that we are running out of ALL numbers. Think about it. Mathematicians have known for centuries that this day would come; why do you think that they call them "finite numbers?" And because of the current crowd in governments world-wide we are quickly running out of rational numbers, too! Integers, once the mainstay of arithmetic and accounting, are now replaced by...by...imaginary numbers!

These trends will culminate in your lifetime and mine (well, definitely mine, since I plan to live forever). Highly sophisticated regression analysis, applying the esoteric concepts embodied in Fermat's Second-To-Last Theorem and the crystalline arrays of Laplace Transformations, demonstrate beyond the shadow of a doubt that the world will run completely out of number no later than 2:37 p.m., April 14, 2007.

NOTE THE DATE! Americans will not be able to pay their income taxes!

But I offer to you, fellow MOABites, a chance to stockpile (i.e., hoard) numbers for the coming Number Crunch. There is a number mine here, and you can follow the links (or "veins", as numberologists call them) to more numbers. Most importantly, it doesn't matter if the numbers are pre-owned or even obsolete! Buff out the scratches and you can sell them as new! Accountants, tax attorneys, and even ordinary citizens will praise you while at the same time shelling out Big Buck$ for the numbers YOU had the foresight to stockpile. Your children and grandchildren will thank you, not to mention that they will be able to do their math homework and even paginate their term papers!

As I said earlier, this information is free. The seminars are what cost a bunch of money. And the inkjet cartridges.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 10:38 AM

...and five gallons of water per family member, candles, a bag of junk silver coins, at least a month's requirements in cash, a crank-powered radio, and plenty of Saran Wrap and duct tape.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 10:54 AM

I don't believe young children should paginate. They should wait until they are older.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 12:59 PM

In that case, I'm claiming 12,345. We'll be there by christams at this rate....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:05 PM

Okay, I've done my bit. MY numbers are well stored in non-corrosive atomospheres inside inert barrels. My gusns are loaded and ready to defend my numbers from hoards of rampaging mathematicians, statisticians, and actuaries (I'd use guns instead of gusns except that I don't want to actually hurt anyone).

What you do with the information is up to you.

Tomorrow I inform the Legion of the impending shortage, so get your numbers before your number is up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:11 PM

by Christmas, certainly - but christmas of what year?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 03:18 PM

It's already happening, you see -- Bunn didn't have enough numbers to add two thousand and five to his post.

I would suggest we revert to Roman numerals, since V's and X's have always been underutilized figments of the typographer's art. I agree that "I"'s have been greatly abused in the last century, but they may enjoy an opportunity to do less ambiguous work for a change.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 03:26 PM

If people should run low on "I's - lover case "l"'s might suffice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 04:24 PM

You have to worry about "C" "M" "L" and "D" as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 06:01 PM

It's just as the Bee Gee's prophicised, in their all time boy band cover song favourite, 'Words'

"You think that I don't even mean a single word I say.
It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart
away."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 09:12 PM

What about those of us whose initals are also numbers? Are we scarce also (MD)?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 09:39 PM

Well, my initials are MD, but I'll let the Romas use them. If they pay me royalties, of course.

In fact, I'll let anyone use them, assuming that the royalties are paid on time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 09:55 PM

You should see the income I get from the medical profession alone!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 10:31 PM

Itmight be psychologically the most revitalizing thing this nation has ever seen if we declared a National "O" Week, in which for one week no-one was allowed to use the word "I" and if absolutely pressed to speak in the first person singular, had to say the letter "O" instead. Can't you just see the nation-wide scattering of egos this would bring about? The broken chains of narcissistic habit? The break out epiphanies?

Wow, that is SOOOO GROOVY. A chance for Bush to do some good for a change.

How would it fly in Odaho, is what O wanna know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 11:51 PM

One could find that rather appealing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 02:45 AM

You people need to put a friggin' stop to this now!

We're getting complaints from the neighbours at both www.mudcas.org and www.mudcau.org.

They're getting nervous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 08:26 AM

stop what? we are excercising our godsgiven rights to peaceably assemble - well - in virtual assembly at least.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 09:34 AM

Or on Ollonoos or Ondoana or Calofornoa or Hawaoo or Mossossoppo or even on Texas -- a truly self-effacong state whoch has no "O" on ot, loke Vermont and Oklahoma and Alaska, whoch are also self-effacong states wothout the letter "O".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 11:12 AM

Speakong as an O person, O thonk a Natoonal O week would fly very well on Australoa toooo.

Jenny who is JennyO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 11:20 AM

letter 9 can be despensed w/ because the cosmos s'all about me, me, me, me, me anyway.

so there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 11:30 AM

Oh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 12:53 PM

O'm goong East for Thanksgovong. O'll post next from Valparaoso, Ondoana, 'cause O'm landong at Chocago's Modway Aorport at 1930 hrs. today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 01:50 PM

That was a pretty big O, there, SRS -- multiple, by the look of it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 06:39 PM

Ah!. . .

. . .As in "I'll have whatever she's having" and not to be confused with

Aww!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 07:53 PM

Ah. The tide sweeps high. How beautiful.

In four hours, about 8:40 pm PST, it will be low again.

Such is life.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 08:28 PM

University of Michigan researchers say they are investigating the "placebo effect," in which pills with no medicinal value work in some people.

Placebos are used in studies to demonstrate whether a specific treatment is of value. Usually some patients in the research are given the medication being studied and others, a placebo.

But little is known about the types of people who tend to respond positively to placebos.

The University of Michigan Health System study involved people suffering from fibromyalgia -- a type of chronic pain typically involving tenderness, stiffness and fatigue.

"There is substantial evidence that the placebo effect has strong biological underpinnings, and that some individuals are more likely than others to demonstrate this effect," said Dr. Daniel Clauw, director of the U-M Chronic Pain and Fatigue Research Center.

"This study suggests individuals with greater hour-to-hour and day-to-day variability in their pain may be more likely to be placebo responders," said Clauw, senior author of the paper.

It is not clear if the findings are only present in fibromyalgia, or may also be seen in other chronic pain conditions, the researchers said.

The study appears in the journal Arthritis & Rheumatism.



Man these word-slicers are everywhere. Lessee...the placebo effect occurs when it is suggested to someone they are being given an effective treatment (such as a pill) when they are not (such as a sugar-pill instead of an anti-aids pill or soemthing).

So now they are saying not that such suggestions cause biological effects, but that the whole mechanism has biological underpinnings, whatever that means.

Of course it begs the question why the condition which responds to the placebo exists at all if its response to a non-cure in recovering has biological underpinnings.

Maybe the study is not complete; if so, that's good, because the findings are holier than my gramma's nylons...

In other news, BS still rules: "The journal Nature said patent 6,960,975 was granted Nov. 1 to Boris Volfson of Huntington, Ind., for a space vehicle propelled by a superconducting shield that alters the curvature of space-time outside the craft in a way that counteracts gravity.

One of the main theoretical arguments against anti-gravity is that it implies the availability of unlimited energy.

"If you design an anti-gravity machine, you've got a perpetual-motion machine," Robert Park of the American Physical Society told Nature.

Park said the action shows patent examiners are being duped by false science. "

I wanna see the reduction to practice, I do...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 08:59 PM

Yes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 11:49 PM

we are coming up on one-oh-two-ohs


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 12:13 AM

You sound (read) like Lawrence Welk: a one ah and a two ah. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 09:12 AM

Hello girls!


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