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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 04 May 12 - 10:58 AM
Rapparee 04 May 12 - 10:16 AM
Amos 04 May 12 - 09:29 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 May 12 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 03 May 12 - 10:48 PM
Amos 03 May 12 - 10:32 PM
Amos 03 May 12 - 05:27 PM
Rapparee 03 May 12 - 01:41 PM
Amos 03 May 12 - 11:52 AM
Acme 03 May 12 - 11:24 AM
Rapparee 03 May 12 - 10:10 AM
Amos 03 May 12 - 10:02 AM
Ebbie 03 May 12 - 02:50 AM
Rapparee 03 May 12 - 12:17 AM
Amos 02 May 12 - 11:50 PM
Rapparee 02 May 12 - 04:27 PM
Ebbie 02 May 12 - 02:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 May 12 - 02:14 PM
Rapparee 02 May 12 - 12:58 PM
Amos 02 May 12 - 11:30 AM
Rapparee 02 May 12 - 10:26 AM
Rapparee 02 May 12 - 10:12 AM
MMario 02 May 12 - 09:34 AM
Acme 02 May 12 - 08:39 AM
MMario 02 May 12 - 05:26 AM
Rapparee 01 May 12 - 11:26 PM
Amos 01 May 12 - 12:24 PM
Acme 01 May 12 - 10:44 AM
Rapparee 01 May 12 - 10:07 AM
MMario 01 May 12 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 30 Apr 12 - 11:28 PM
Acme 30 Apr 12 - 12:21 PM
Amos 30 Apr 12 - 12:06 PM
Amos 30 Apr 12 - 10:55 AM
Amos 30 Apr 12 - 10:34 AM
Rapparee 30 Apr 12 - 09:58 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 12 - 11:38 PM
Acme 29 Apr 12 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 12 - 08:59 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 12 - 05:45 PM
Amos 29 Apr 12 - 01:11 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 12 - 09:41 PM
Amos 28 Apr 12 - 05:00 PM
Little Hawk 28 Apr 12 - 03:46 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 12 - 02:57 PM
Amos 28 Apr 12 - 02:24 PM
Acme 28 Apr 12 - 12:13 PM
Little Hawk 28 Apr 12 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 28 Apr 12 - 11:29 AM
Amos 28 Apr 12 - 12:42 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 12 - 10:58 AM

bee-dubya:

- I'll be right down....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 12 - 10:16 AM

Weren't the Chanterelles a motown group back in the early '60s? How did your woods get full of them? Are the reproducing down in Florida?

Amos, they did show up. They won't show up anywhere ever again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 12 - 09:29 AM

One of the differentating aspects of sane laughter as distinguished from the glee of absolute insanity is the consciousness of place; the madman will conflate locations in his mind without rhyme or reason and find the results very droll, but does not fundamentally know where he, himself, is located.

THere is a Chinese-Mongolian custom, for example, the violation of which assures a sentence of ostracism or death, and which Rapparree has recently violated publically. As he does not even know what the custom is, he will have little defense when the enforcers arrive at his yurt.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 May 12 - 10:59 PM

My woods are full of chanterelles!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 12 - 10:48 PM

Tee hee. Amos took dibs on 66,666 and didn't know that he was marking the decimal point European fashion. So he really has dibs on 66.666 (US fashion) and that's long past.

I can hardly restrain myself from laughing long and loud at such hijinks!

I would have posted all this earlier but I was too busy trying to restrain my mirth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 12 - 10:32 PM

Oh, woe for Mom, and for her town
And the kidlets in her mansion,
For she has dwindled half-way down
For lack of wit and scansion.
Her chilluns off in far-off lands
Too busy are to tend her,
And none of all her salty hands
Will turn out now to mend her!
And I alone, of all her young
Have come back home to raise her.
Oh,, pity Mom, who all alone
Has no-one left to praise her!!

Barnaby Catholic Tiddly
Chief Prognosticator
Tennessee Council on Expanded Rhetorical Devices
Nashville, 1932


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 12 - 05:27 PM

Yep. ANd so did you!! :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 12 - 01:41 PM

That's better. You capitulated. Hahahahahaha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 12 - 11:52 AM

Well, then, I dibs 66,666. And riding shotgun.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 12 - 11:24 AM

Rap, tell Pat she's keeping us in stitches with her quilting antics. (She has antics; for you, I think "attics" as in bats in, is probably applicable)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 12 - 10:10 AM

No you don't. I called it a long, long time back. So there, Mr. Smarty-Pants!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 12 - 10:02 AM

I dibs 666666, gals and pals. Abso-fuggin-lutably.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 May 12 - 02:50 AM

"And, Ebbie, you did it at 2:34 p.m. Mudcat Time.

44666 at 2:34."

Wow, indeed. It will be awhile before I do that again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 12 - 12:17 AM

Amos, she is a lawyer. Admitted to the bar in Indiana and inactive in Ohio and everything.

The "hits" she made were fabric finds for quilting. I thought I made that very clear. Don't you read between the lines?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 12 - 11:50 PM

Why is Pat hitting on lawyers, Rapp? What have they got that you haven't got? Really!!!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 12 - 04:27 PM

And, Ebbie, you did it at 2:34 p.m. Mudcat Time.

44666 at 2:34.

Wow!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 May 12 - 02:34 PM

44666- sounds impressive, so here it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 May 12 - 02:14 PM

Kemmerer, Pinedale, Jackson, and Driggs? Is that a law firm? Why'd she hit 'em? Professional squabble?

And I have no idea how many grand-nieces/nephews I have. It's hard enough to keep up with grandchildren, of which I have either seven, five-and-a-half, or four, depending on whether step-children's kids count as wholes, halves, or naughts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 12 - 12:58 PM

I sprayed it with Scotchguard (a Scots repellent) and it's hanging on the backporch. Mind you, this only repels Scots, not Scotch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 12 - 11:30 AM

Nice to hear you've finally invested yourself.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 12 - 10:26 AM

By the way, Mom -- I'm back in town. Pat made some great hits in Kemmerer, Pinedale, Jackson, and Driggs, and I got a vest and some more books (betcha never thought I'd buy any books, didcha?).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 12 - 10:12 AM

Oh, this won't fill them with mayonnaise. I suggest a really cheap wine as the thing to be distilled. Or I can give you plans for several simpler solar stills and a recipe for making your own mash/still beer to run through. Run the still beer through three times and you can run the proof up to, oh, about 150 or so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 May 12 - 09:34 AM

That's because she already knows several!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 12 - 08:39 AM

That's a big generous move. Congratulations to them!

I should have mentioned, the jars are empty, MOM doesn't need to find some creative way to dispense with a couple of gallons of mayonnaise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 May 12 - 05:26 AM

@Amos - My niece and her husband just adopted the three fosters they have had for a while. This doubles the official size of their family - the three new kids are older then their own three


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 12 - 11:26 PM

Go for it, Stilly. Just watch that the temperature doesn't get too high and you start distilling water instead of alcohol.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 12 - 12:24 PM

Congrats, MMM, I think, but....who is adopting whom exactly?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 May 12 - 10:44 AM

Not intended, but a sun still does sound like an excellent idea. You guys get right on it! I have some mayo jars in the pantry you can use.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 12 - 10:07 AM

Congratulations! I have only two g-nephews, so far, that we know about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 May 12 - 09:15 AM

well - my three oldest grand-nieces and nephew are now official.   Adoption went through at Canandaigua courthouse yesterday. (Despite the fact their 4 year old soon to be sibling growled at the judge)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 12 - 11:28 PM

Sun still...you mean Mom's running a solar still at your place? Geez, what an inventive old gal! The revenoors ain't gonna catch HER by the smoke, nosirree!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 12 - 12:21 PM

MOM, next time you see that guy from the next block out for his walk through the neighborhood ask him to stop by. We need to pay someone to water the yard for a few days next month. He can also rearrange all of the glass jars and bottles you've set out in the yard along the paths and by the bird bath. They need some scrubbing if you want them to sparkle in the sun still.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 12 - 12:06 PM

What shall I do to be just?
What shall I do for the gain
Of the world?for its sadness?
Teach me, O Seers that I trust!
Chart me the difficult main
Leading out of my sorrow and madness
Preach me the purging of pain.

Shall I wrench from my finger the ring
To cast to the tramp at my door?
Shall I tear off each luminous thing
To drop in the palm of the poor?
What shall I do to be just?
Teach me, O Ye in the light,
Whom the poor and the rich alike trust:
My heart is aflame to be right.


Hamlin Garland, 1899


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 12 - 10:55 AM

Hell, where I come from we cast our own stove parts and kitchen sinks. We hand-mold our own electric lights and if we want air conditioning we just go into the workshop and mix up a batch of old-fashioned hand-sanded coolth and pour it into the plumbing system.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 12 - 10:34 AM

Oh, thanks, Rapparree. I was hung over from an afternoon of coffee and cupcakes with a candidate for City Council for whom I think I shall vote.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 12 - 09:58 AM

Mom? Mom?

GET UP!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 12 - 11:38 PM

No, I don't reload (although I might someday) or cast my own bullets.

Visit the National Museum of Health and Medicine in DC sometime. You can see the exhibit on Civil War wounds here; these are the real thing, not replicas. It's a fascinating place to visit, and well worth the gut-wrenching trip.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Apr 12 - 10:51 PM

An author spoke at the Friends of the Library on Friday night at my university. He spoke about the Civil War and reconstruction - and he had a "miniball" in his pocket. He explained why so many amputations in the Civil War - because these things destroyed limbs, didn't just pass through or cause small injuries.

I hope you guys aren't making your own ammo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 12 - 08:59 PM

Well, the boys who went after the land whale wandered back in last night. Sans horses, sans mules, sans food, sans water, sans pretty much everything except shreds of their clothing and one boot between them.

For some reason they aren't talking about what happened and no, they weren't led to any placer gold.

First time they've shut up about something in years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 12 - 05:45 PM

The only balls around here are either lead and .351, .441, .451 or .491 caliber, except for the rubber one hanging out under the deck that I use for a fencing target sometimes. Oh wait, I have lots of golf balls I've picked up in the yard from time to time and I'd be happy to share them if you need some.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 12 - 01:11 PM

No balls for a real tangle, I suppose. Well, at least, tangling with the nonexistent, you and LH can ply your ferocious talents without blowing up anything solid. That's a benefit, I suppose.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 12 - 09:41 PM

I do, all the time. The nonexistent are far easier to overcome than things that actually exist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 12 - 05:00 PM

Oh, certainly not!! I never tangle with the nonexistent.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Apr 12 - 03:46 PM

Fine, fine. I will make an exception for the expression "ass in a sling" where horses, donkeys, burros, and asses (the animal, that is) are concerned.

Amos? Are you defying my authority?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 12 - 02:57 PM

LH, you are denigrating one of the great things that horses, mules, and asses have done: allowed themselves to put into a sling so that they might go with humans. In fact, slings are used in veterinary work and have been used to treat founder. Your tirade against the use of "ass in a sling" ill becomes you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 12 - 02:24 PM

Drop and give you fifty? Little Hawk, have you been smoking again? LOL!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 12 - 12:13 PM

You guys can relax, MOM is back home and resting comfortably on the porch swing. The sheriff brought her home and rolled her onto the lawn and Gluon scooped her up and deposited her on the swing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Apr 12 - 11:58 AM

"how you let Mom drag her ass to the bottom of town again" (Amos)

What is this nonsense about people's asses all the time?

"Get your ass over here." "It' a pain in the ass." "I'll put his ass in a sling" "I'll kick his ass." "Move your ass!" etc....

It's ridiculous. How the hell can a civilization even call itself a civilization when it drags the word "ass" inappropriately into all kinds of verbal contexts where it does not in any way belong?

It disgusts me. It's primitive and idiotic. It's one of the reasons I've given up hope for America.

Amos, I am disgusted that you pander to this stupid, common, vulgar, and oafish use of the word "ass" all the time where it doesn't belong, and I am going to discipline you for it, mister!

Drop and give me fifty! And no pausing to catch your breath!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 12 - 11:29 AM

Filing charges isn't a good idea, Amos. The heat from the filing or even the filing itself could detonate the charges. But if you want to, go ahead. Far be if from me to stifle your creativity. Just let me know what so I won't be around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 12 - 12:42 AM

I'd say you have been immersed in something, seeing how you let Mom drag her ass to the bottom of town again. For fie!! Am I the ONLY one who cares when Mom goes slumming??

I am going to file charges if this happens again.


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