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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 07:37 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 04:59 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 04:43 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 04:11 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 03:09 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 02:14 PM
gnu 24 Jul 11 - 02:02 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 01:37 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 01:08 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 12:31 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 12:21 PM
Acme 24 Jul 11 - 11:00 AM
Amos 23 Jul 11 - 11:49 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 11 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 11 - 10:59 PM
Acme 23 Jul 11 - 07:35 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 11 - 07:30 PM
Amos 23 Jul 11 - 02:22 PM
Little Hawk 23 Jul 11 - 01:02 PM
Acme 23 Jul 11 - 10:27 AM
Rapparee 22 Jul 11 - 11:18 PM
Amos 22 Jul 11 - 10:15 PM
Acme 22 Jul 11 - 07:46 PM
Rapparee 22 Jul 11 - 05:52 PM
Eiseley 22 Jul 11 - 05:49 PM
gnu 22 Jul 11 - 02:44 PM
Rapparee 22 Jul 11 - 02:35 PM
Amos 22 Jul 11 - 12:49 PM
Rapparee 22 Jul 11 - 10:38 AM
MMario 22 Jul 11 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 21 Jul 11 - 11:15 PM
gnu 21 Jul 11 - 06:07 PM
Amos 21 Jul 11 - 05:52 PM
Eiseley 21 Jul 11 - 03:48 PM
gnu 21 Jul 11 - 02:01 PM
Amos 21 Jul 11 - 11:51 AM
Amos 21 Jul 11 - 11:28 AM
Acme 21 Jul 11 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 21 Jul 11 - 09:56 AM
Amos 21 Jul 11 - 09:42 AM
Eiseley 21 Jul 11 - 08:47 AM
Rapparee 20 Jul 11 - 11:32 PM
gnu 20 Jul 11 - 09:05 PM
Little Hawk 20 Jul 11 - 08:31 PM
gnu 20 Jul 11 - 07:28 PM
Little Hawk 20 Jul 11 - 06:17 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 07:37 PM

Lots of them. I think I got them working in the garden. Sometimes they itch and become all red and puffy, sort of like a mosquito bite, except you can see them moving around just under my skin, like chiggers. Uncomfortable little beasties.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM

Uh-huh. Exactly how many of these dibs do you have?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM

I once had the raw temerity to write the Canadian government enquiring as to what it would take to buy the Bluenose II. They politely assured me that it would never be for sale, reminding me of the fate of its forebear, the famous Bluenose, driven to her fate at the hands of an American buyer. Ah, nothing ventured AND nothing gained!! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 04:59 PM

Told you I had dibs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 04:43 PM

Beauty, eh? ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 04:11 PM

Here's a nice little boat, Amos. But it's Canadian-built, so you shouldn't trust it too much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 03:58 PM

Well, it would be nice to know all of that, Rapparee. One never knows when one must be required to fight off pirates on the High Seas, after all. Do you carry a contingent of Marines for launching landing operations and seaborne raids? It never hurts to be prepared.

Amos, that is a LOVELY schooner! I applaud your excellent taste. Chongo is hoping to own one of those one day so he can party on the water the way Bogart did back in the day. He figures that if he avoids paying the rent for about the next 10 years, he can afford to make the down payment!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 03:09 PM

But that's all I have, Amos. Sorry.

LH: Do you want me to include in the gunners, powder monkeys, Marines and so on, or just the crew necessary to sail her?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 02:14 PM

Sir, please read the message as sent, not as your feverish brain imagines it. I said a small schooner like this not a full-rigged square-rigger.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 02:02 PM

31 and humid yesterday. 21 and a dry breeze here... 11 tonight! 11 at night in July!! Rain and 18 on Tueday and nothin over 25 all week. I am LOVIN IT!

Hey Rap... you don't look very happy on yer boat... while the glum face chum?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 01:37 PM

Very nice yacht, Rapparee. That's exactly the kind I would go for. How many does it take to crew her?

As for Amos's requirements....do you mean his actual requirements? Or those circumscribed by his imagination? The variance in size between the two resembles the dimensional difference between an ant and an elephant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 01:08 PM

What?! You want my yacht??? No, it exceeds your requirements. Here's a picture of her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 01:00 PM

Never mind the picnic-ware, sirrah. The whales do not want left-over shards of plastic in their breeding grounds.

I have a large dive-knife which will serve.

But be so kind as to send along a small--say 39' or so--schooner for ease of access.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 12:31 PM

I'll throw in a whole package of plastic knives (I don't want Amos to hurt himself) if he'll do it. He's got a kayak, so there shouldn't be any problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 12:21 PM

YEs, we both watched it with great admiration for those deft klutzes in the boat. Cruising the Sea of Cortez is one of our inchoate intentions...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 11:00 AM

Hey, MOM, watch this. Sea of Cortez video. Maybe we can send Amos down to do some of this good work. I'll send you a small knife for the work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 11:49 PM

I don't think you can put down dibs on a number, Rapparree. It sounds all very macho, but the real flow of posts around here just doesn't work that way, ya know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 10:59 PM

Oh, yeah.

Dibs on 41414.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 10:59 PM

Gee, I've had the problem for some time and I'm not canning anything. Could there be another reason?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 07:35 PM

MOM, the jelly is beautiful and delicious, the tomato sauce is nothing to brag about because they're not home grown tomatoes, but the peaches should be splendid and I'm doing them tonight. Don't stand in one place too long on the kitchen floor or you might stick to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 07:30 PM

The Truth? No, just a reasonable facsimile of The World As I Made It.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 02:22 PM

What a crackup. There is raw truth and there are acceptable effects. "You can't HANDLE the truth!!" as Mr Nichols famously roared.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 01:02 PM

Ha! Ha! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 10:27 AM

A friend posted this on her facebook page:

A man went to Europe for two months and left his beloved and prized cat with his brother and mother who shared a home. After a week or so, he called home to see how everything was going. "Well," his brother told him, "the cat took a header off the roof and died." "Oh, NO!!!" cried the man! "I'm devastated! And how could you deliver the news in such a cavalier fashion! That cat was like family to me!" "The cat's DEAD, for heaven's sake! What did you WANT me to tell you?" asked the brother. "Well, you could have told me that the cat is on the roof and you can't get him down. Then, when I called next time, you could have said that the fire department was there with a ladder but the cat was eluding them. When I next called you could have said that the cat jumped off the roof and had been taken to the vet where he was in surgery. Finally, when I had been prepared by all the previous calls for potential disaster, you could have told me that he didn't make it out of surgery. All of this would have let me get more prepared for the tragic outcome." "Ok," his brother said. "I get it." A few weeks later, the man called home again, he inquired as to how everyone was doing. "Well," replied his brother, "Mama's on the roof and we can't get her down."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 11:18 PM

Oh Amos, friend Amos, 'tis true what you writ
But beneath all that mulch is a ton of cow shit
Composted, sterilized, deodorized, clean
Enough to eat on top of ice cream.
But the nutrients left for the plants are immense
And the plants themselves were grown into Ents
And stomped, each to its place in the yard,
I'm afraid to go out there -- to die would be hard.
And I leave now no legacy, no bank account full,
For it's all been spent on the plants and the bull....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 10:15 PM

Oh, Bookman, oh Bookman, oh Bold Rapparree!
As concerns your landscaping, take warning from me!
You've hired and paid them, their work is near done,
And the schedules and progress reports have been fun.
The speed of their turn out was often quite short,
But your hand at the tiller their schemes did abort,
You harassed and scolded and chided, until
Every modified specification was filled!
But Sir let me tell you, now that all that is done,
Your garden will grow by the clock of the Sun
By moon-phase and calendar seasons will grow
ANd its pacing will be agonisingly slow.
Prepare for the loss of excitement and thrill
As you wait out responses from each daffodil.
The work that you paid for on time and in dough
Will progress so slowly you'll reel from the blow.
To admire a garden takes the pulse of a saint,
And though you may be many things,
That's one thing you ain't!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 07:46 PM

Day 21 in a row, for those who torture themselves with counting such things. It was already really hot before "summer" even arrived.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 05:52 PM

The mulching is finished! Now to install the soaker hose and away we go! (I paid the nursery today, and I'm feeling poor.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 05:49 PM

One of the staff brought in some lavender and coconut macaroons. I can't decide if I like them. It's a little like tasting soap, but in a not unpleasant way.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 02:44 PM

I have the 13kBtu lit up now on accounta it's kinda hot and very humid. Nothing like down south and out west tho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 02:35 PM

Going on 1 p.m. and it's 73F already! At this rate I'll have to turn on the air conditioner!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 12:49 PM

You guys with your snow and your heat!! Why don't you choose your domicile more rationally next time?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 10:38 AM

Oh, stop complaining and whining. It's already 62F here at 8:35 a.m.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 09:24 AM

it's hot. it's really hot. and the humidty is really high. and yet it's so dry my gardens are brown and crisp.

Did I mention it's hot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 11 - 11:15 PM

I've already heard from PETGB.

Most of the mulch is down in the backyard. I have to get a few bags for touchup and stuff, but the project is nearly over.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jul 11 - 06:07 PM

The SPCGA shall hear about this!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 11 - 05:52 PM

Ah, I see. Wild GOLF balls. I knew times were tough, but I never imagined they were as tough as that!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Jul 11 - 03:48 PM

We shall feast well tonight, thanks to The Mighty Hunter.

GOLF BALL STEW

4-6 lb. hen
1 lg. onion
2 carrots, cut in pieces
3 stalks celery, cut in pieces
3 qts. water
1 tbsp. chicken bouillon
Four golf balls, killed, cleaned, and with the bullets removed

In a large stock pot, cover hen with water, add vegetables and bouillon and boil until very tender. Allow chicken to cool in the liquid. Remove chicken and reserve for some other future use. Strain remaining broth and put the cooked vegetables in a separate bowl. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add cooked golf balls and thoroughly heat them or drop uncooked golf balls into broth and gently simmer until balls are cooked through, about 15 minutes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jul 11 - 02:01 PM

Sorry Amos. My head did stop and I actually slept.

Now, what's this about Rap having four balls. Is that why it is said Rap's got BALLS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 11 - 11:51 AM

Eiseley: Have you finally gone over the edge and shot up Rapp's balls? I know it has been tempting for a long while now, but I never imagined you would give in to the impulse.

Ah, well, you can always ship the remnants to Goodwill. 'S about all they're good for anymore, I suppose.

How doth the little bumble bee
Improve each shining hour...
And gather honey all the day
From every opening flower!



~Isaac Watts, "Divine Songs"


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 11 - 11:28 AM

Is that really any of our business?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jul 11 - 10:53 AM

So let me get this right: Eiseley is having a ball this week?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 11 - 09:56 AM

Bloody damned things! Attacked me, they did. Ravening, they play with their prey, ripping it shreds and tossing the parts around like soccer balls before finally devouring it in a mad frenzy of blood and gore.

Had to shoot a couple more than once, too. One I shot vanished entirely. Thought Eiseley could have them mounted for her den, y'know. Go well there, with the rug made from the skin of the bear she strangled a few months back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 11 - 09:42 AM

I have sad thoughts for Gnu's bad day.

And for the lowly beasts that Rapp dropped on Eiseley's table. This is most brutal.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Jul 11 - 08:47 AM

Rapparee came to my house and dropped the carcasses of four wild beasts on my kitchen table.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 11 - 11:32 PM

Ask Eiseley why she has four balls that are all shot up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jul 11 - 09:05 PM

Sorry for being so nasty Mum. Having a bad day. A very bad day.

And if anyone asks why, fuck off.

I think that's clear enough... bad day... that's all... tomorrow is another day.

Time to lay my head down and see if it stops... gnight gnu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jul 11 - 08:31 PM

Meaning...not here?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jul 11 - 07:28 PM

Over there. It's obvious innit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jul 11 - 06:17 PM

Over where?


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