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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 06 Sep 10 - 02:51 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 10 - 11:57 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Sep 10 - 10:44 AM
Rapparee 06 Sep 10 - 10:29 AM
Amos 06 Sep 10 - 02:05 AM
Rapparee 05 Sep 10 - 10:44 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 10 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 10 - 10:03 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 10 - 08:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 10 - 08:26 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 10 - 08:21 PM
Amos 05 Sep 10 - 08:08 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 10 - 05:43 PM
Amos 05 Sep 10 - 04:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 10 - 02:48 PM
gnu 05 Sep 10 - 02:33 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 10 - 02:24 PM
Acme 05 Sep 10 - 01:17 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 05 Sep 10 - 12:08 PM
Amos 05 Sep 10 - 11:42 AM
Rapparee 05 Sep 10 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 05 Sep 10 - 10:35 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 10 - 10:33 AM
Amos 05 Sep 10 - 10:01 AM
Amos 05 Sep 10 - 12:51 AM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 10 - 12:01 AM
Eiseley 04 Sep 10 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 04 Sep 10 - 10:21 PM
Amos 04 Sep 10 - 06:16 PM
Amos 04 Sep 10 - 01:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Sep 10 - 12:59 PM
Acme 04 Sep 10 - 11:53 AM
Little Hawk 04 Sep 10 - 11:30 AM
Amos 04 Sep 10 - 11:29 AM
Rapparee 04 Sep 10 - 10:38 AM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 10 - 09:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 10 - 09:17 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 10 - 07:49 PM
Acme 03 Sep 10 - 06:43 PM
Amos 03 Sep 10 - 05:46 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 10 - 04:43 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 10 - 04:19 PM
Amos 03 Sep 10 - 03:41 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 10 - 03:32 PM
gnu 03 Sep 10 - 03:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 10 - 03:17 PM
Amos 03 Sep 10 - 02:30 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 10 - 02:26 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 10 - 02:23 PM
gnu 03 Sep 10 - 02:17 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 02:51 PM

That's all well and good, Rapaire, but you have to report to the office for orientation. You have a lot to learn about patent law. I'll tell them you're coming and as soon as your butt is in the chair we can give them the transfer information so you get your one-third.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 11:57 AM

Dibs! Dibs!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 10:44 AM

If Rapaire can have a third of your salary to do the work part of your job, can I have a third to do the drink coffee and surf the Web on company time part?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 10:29 AM

Good. PM me the information for your payroll office and I'll make arrangements to have one-third of your salary siphoned off every payday. That's one-third of the pre-tax amount and since I'll be taking it as a gift you'll be able to contribute the taxes to good ol' Uncle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 02:05 AM

I have a fine job I could offer you for your amusement, and would even be willing to give you a third of my salary to do the work of it, Rapaire. Can't beat that!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 10:44 PM

The brunette and I have to drive back home tomorrow so we can do laundry before heading out for another 10 days or so.

Oh, this retired life is so...so...busy. Working 24 hours a day at doing nothing much and not getting a cent of overtime! Sometimes I sigh deeply and yearn for the good old days when I wrassled tombstones for a living...but not bloody often.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 10:08 PM

Listening to you is so much like listening to Chongo that I can hardly tell you guys apart sometimes... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 10:03 PM

Gee, I just spent an hour in a hot tub with a beautiful brunette after a dinner at a local brewpub.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 08:28 PM

He has left San Diego and is now living in Coherent, CA. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 08:26 PM

Sounds like the red wine has too much Amos drunk already. His usually impeccable grammer, speeling and senence consruuction seem to have become quite peccable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 08:21 PM

Okay, what is an iPad? Is it some kind of little handheld wireless computer that you operate with your fingers on the screen? And if so....why?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 08:08 PM

Hey, Mom!

I an a beautiful sunny patio in Valley. center, a wide Spanish, listening to beautiful Portuguese fado music while posting to you on my wife's spanking new iPad, which is zippy and sexy and beautiful, just like her! I got it for her birthday and she ws quite thrilled, needless to say.

I am sipping a deep red wine and watching the sun go down, shirring moments with good friends. the iPad is an awesome device.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 05:43 PM

Like purpural fever?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 04:02 PM

Oh ptarmigan are precious, as I'm sure you'll all agree
And ptomaine is putrescence, not fit for the likes of me
But the man who stands among them all
As just the greatest can,
Is a man of pure and passionate pulse
The true perfervid man!

Perfervid! Perfervid!
A sweet ideal
From which I feel
We never should have swerv?d!
Though some are gay, and some hold sway,
Some are well-verbed and verv?d,
But give me the man with a passion pure,
ANd hurray for the man perfervid!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 02:48 PM

Oh, it's "P" for "Portland" and "P" for "Pascagoula"
Said it's "P" for "Portland" and "P" for "Pascagoula"
And it's "P" for "perfervid"
It'll make ya wanna dance a hula


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 02:33 PM

Perferts!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 02:24 PM

Oh, the perfervidity of it all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 01:17 PM

Well, shit. There I am, out in the yard, going back and forth to the garage (where the radio is playing) for tools, and the essence of A Prairie Home Companion (the repeat plays Sunday morning) got stuck in my head. And that damned "perfervid" starts running around my head, like a mantra. In Garrison Keillor's voice.

Oy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 12:08 PM

"I did not present all of the evidence -- only that which Amos might understand."

Oh yeah...in other words, Rapaire, you were only providin' the evidence suitable for the comprehension level of a very young bush chimpanzee, correct? One that hasn't yet learned how to climb a grapevine or politely groom his band mates for ticks and fleas?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 11:42 AM

I guess the Battleground guardians were afraid of the competition?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 10:36 AM

Oh, yeah. I'm currently in Hamilton, MT, where we were hailed off the Big Hole Battlefield yesterday afternoon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 10:35 AM

I did not present all of the evidence -- only that which Amos might understand. For instance, the letter grouping "tn" ALSO is the abbreviation for "Tennessee", where Shakespeare moved after his "death" in 1606. QE1 was on his tail because of something involving her tail in 1602. Specifically, Bill had introduced her to a new book, just translated, called "Ye Kama Suytra", which they studied together. Bill had picked up some sort of disorder from an actress at The Globe and shared it with E1 -- some only slightly worse than a cold, according to her doctors.

Anyway, Bill fled to Tennessee where he lived with the Shawnee Indians. In 1618 he returned to England and wrote under the nom de plumes of John Milton and John Dunne. He actually died in 1669 as the age of 105, jumping out a bedroom window as an irate husband jumped in the door, sword in hand. Since the bedroom at Hampton Court was four stories up, Bill's landing left something to be desired, which was life.

He is buried in unconsecrated ground at the Tower of London, right under the Block. That business in Stratford-On-Avon was just a tourist gimmick.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 10:33 AM

And Mom is exceedingly proud of him. Nothing Mom likes more than having a screaming flock of cockamamies fly over while she's having her morning bowl of gruel out on the deck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 10:01 AM

Rapaire's powerful analogical ( or perhaps a-logical) analysis proving that William 1 was reincarnated into William 2 is stunning in its shallowness and unfathomable in its breadth. It is cockamamie, misguided, unfounded, skewed, groundless, vaporous reasoning of the first order!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 12:51 AM

But of course, you were exactly right; compared to the vampire dreck of modern literature it shows how we have fallen !!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 12:01 AM

You may gain admittance to the Council of Elders in the Inner Sanctum of the MHOH at the WSSBA for figuring that one out, Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 11:38 PM

Now that is some deep BS.

Rapaire, are you up at the cowboy shootout in Montana or home where you belong?

About Shakespeare---I had to try to defend the existence of Titus Andronicus to a bunch of graduate students today. It was hard. I finally said that it was Shakespeare's foray into the horror genre.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 10:21 PM

Let's do a little investigative work, shall we?

William Shakespeare
William Sha(tn)er

"TN" is, of coures, the abbreviation for "testicular neoplasia" which is associated with cryptorchidism. It becomes obvious from the foregoing to all but the very dense and unlearned that William Shatner is the reincarnation of William Shakespeare, who is well know to have suffered from cryptorchidism as a child and, indeed, into his early adulthood. The problem was only corrected by one "Moll Tearsheet" (who was rewarded by being advertised in one of the plays). It is believe that William Shatner also suffered from cryptorchidism, although it cannot at this time be proven. Perhaps someday it will be possible to examine HIS skeleton and determine the truth or falsity of this conjecture. In the meantime, the Bard still walks among us.

All, I think you will all agree, is now clear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 06:16 PM

For LH: On the many faces of William Shatner. He has so many personae it's no wonder Little Hawk worships him!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 01:02 PM

Except for Rapaire's fanatic little assonance.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 12:59 PM

And she's absolutely astounded by assonance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 11:53 AM

MOM does love alliteration.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 11:30 AM

Ever the soul of discretion, that's our Amos. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 11:29 AM

Wal, Rapaire, that is just your impression.

Actually I've heard her cussing about you after she tucks your fanatic little ass into bed, but I didn't wanna say nuffin to hurt your feelings.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 10:38 AM

I wouldn't be too perfevid. People, particularly particular people, positively prefer perfect performance. Besides, fevered functioning fans furious flames of fanaticism.

And Mom don't like no fanatics except me. Oddballs, eccentrics, yeah, but no fanatics except for her favorite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 09:47 PM

Okay. ;-) It just sounded so much like a word Amos would make up that I was kind of wondering...

I shall now quote him in mixed company at every available opportunity, so as to mightily impress both the naive and the untutored. I already have them cowed with the knowledge that I am an authority on the life and times of William Shatner, but THIS will REALLY knock them flat on their little behinds. ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 09:17 PM

1.
      per·fer·vid/pərˈfərvid/
      Adjective: Intense and impassioned. More »
      Dictionary.com


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 07:49 PM

Prove to me that "perfervid" is a real word...rather than some kind of California Babblespeak...and I will give more consideration to what you say, Amos. I may even quote you in mixed company, so as to impress the naive and untutored.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 06:43 PM

I'd say that about covers it. And in solidarity with LH, Mr. Shatner didn't come by during that time either. What a good and faithful friend he is to our Little Hawk!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 05:46 PM

Well, usually I don't take on random tasks of tis kind, Little Hawk. But since it's you, here are the highlights:

1. No posts by Little Hawk occurred during your absence.
No posts by any of your perfervid dream devices, either.

How'szat?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 04:43 PM

By the way, where's that summary I asked for?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 04:19 PM

Sounds like he's getting a bit carried away to me, Amos. Hubris in the hallowed halls of science? Surely not! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 03:41 PM

Talk about the blind leading the blind!!!!


Speaking of which, I am happy to report that a local phsyics professor, having been persuaded of the theory of multiple universes by Stephen Hawking inter alia, is now promising to write a guided tour of the multiverse. Imagine that!!! A GUIDED tour of the MULTI-VERSE!

I think this is truly wonderful. But I gotta ask how he's going to get his basic raw data from. Is he going to visit a random sample of the universes? Set up hyper-mail to colleagues or even doppelgangers in those that are close to ours in kind? Call a convention of representatives to gather and compare notes?

Furthermore, if such an agent (or he himself) tried to cross the boundary layer, bringing the stuff of one universe into another, would he make it? Would it be something akin to an anti-matter collision? Or wouldn't the universes care where theirparticles were born?

Are we opening the door to an immigration crisis? AN emigration crisis?

Enquiring minds want to know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 03:32 PM

All I know about marriage I got from watching the collected works of William Shatner... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 03:28 PM

LH... there would be with this oun. Trust me.... oh, I gotta throw up again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 03:17 PM

Bee-Dubya, you need another such license for women.

Simple! Just change the last line from "And you can screw when'ere you like, even if you are both men" to "And you can screw when'ere you like, even if you're both women."

And, Little Hawk, most of us are well aware that marriage isn't just about sex. But exaggeration about marital sex is a widely used humorous conceit. If jokedom had to depend on the true reality of marriage for its fodder, there'd be no marital jokes at all, would there?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 02:30 PM

Alas! A lass and a lass!
They are finally legal, at last!
To avoid gender gaff, oh,
They worship with Sappho,
And their marriage may now come to pass!

But don't shout it out on the street!
And pause 'ere you blog-post or Tweet!
It may be the fashion
To brag about passion
But by law, this permitt is discreet!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 02:26 PM

Here's an example:

Water sports!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 02:23 PM

Wha....?

You shock me, sir...or madam. There is nothing untoward about playing fetch with the wiener dog. As a matter of fact it's good, clean fun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 02:17 PM

"like play fetch with the wiener dog"

I was gonna make a pun but I looked up the word on google... never mind.. I have to go throw up instead.


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