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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Eiseley 02 Jun 10 - 04:39 PM
MMario 02 Jun 10 - 11:51 AM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 11:27 AM
MMario 02 Jun 10 - 11:24 AM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 10:36 AM
Eiseley 02 Jun 10 - 10:15 AM
MMario 02 Jun 10 - 09:09 AM
VirginiaTam 02 Jun 10 - 02:44 AM
Acme 02 Jun 10 - 12:10 AM
Eiseley 01 Jun 10 - 11:29 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 11:13 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 11:11 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 11:09 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 11:08 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 11:07 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 11:07 PM
Eiseley 01 Jun 10 - 10:04 PM
Eiseley 01 Jun 10 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 08:57 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 08:47 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 08:19 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 08:14 PM
Janie 01 Jun 10 - 08:12 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 07:00 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 01 Jun 10 - 06:35 PM
Janie 01 Jun 10 - 06:07 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 01 Jun 10 - 06:03 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 05:58 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 05:53 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 01 Jun 10 - 05:52 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 05:52 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 05:49 PM
VirginiaTam 01 Jun 10 - 05:22 PM
VirginiaTam 01 Jun 10 - 05:15 PM
Acme 01 Jun 10 - 05:11 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 05:07 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 01 Jun 10 - 05:04 PM
VirginiaTam 01 Jun 10 - 03:39 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 03:07 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 02:55 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jun 10 - 12:42 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 11:28 AM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 10:37 AM
Rapparee 31 May 10 - 11:44 PM
Acme 31 May 10 - 11:43 PM
Janie 31 May 10 - 11:39 PM
Acme 31 May 10 - 11:34 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 04:39 PM

Rapaire, you did reproduce a line of Goethe all right, but so much less romantic than, say, The Sorrows of Young Werther, who died for love.

I surely hope you didn't whisper the words of "Proverbs in Prose" into your beloved's ear, or she would have good reason to whop you on the head.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 11:51 AM

Anyone reading the "White Rabbits" thread? Fascinating....it would fit right in here....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 11:27 AM

I didn't realize that Shame was attempting to communicate anything at all. So those aren't just random grunts and body noises! Coulda fooled me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 11:24 AM

Not knowing German (except for Certain Words) I had no idea what I was reading, but it sure was Romantic as all get out.


Much the same relationship that stands between Shane and English.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 10:52 AM

But I do remember reading Goethe by candlelight, thrilling to such statments as "Das Leben gehört den Lebenden an, und wer lebt, muss auf Wechsel gefasst sein"* and, of course, "Daher denn auch der Mathematiker seine Formelsprache so hoch steigert, uns, insofern es möglich, in der meßbaren und zählbaren Welt die unmeßbare mitzubegreifen. Nun erscheint ihm alles greifbar, faßlich und mechanisch, und er kommt in den Verdacht eines heimlichen Atheismus, indem er ja das Unmeßbarste, welches wir Gott nennen, zugleich mitzuerfassen glaubt und daher dessen besonderes oder vorzügliches Dasein aufzugeben scheint." Not knowing German (except for Certain Words) I had no idea what I was reading, but it sure was Romantic as all get out.


*Eiseley, take note.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 10:36 AM

That there writin' looks like what mah Great-great Aunt Tillie used ta write. She wrote real good, only nobody could read it any. She'd read it to us only we couldn't unnerstand it any, what with her using words like "Scheissheiss" and "Generalstaatsverordnetenversammlungen" amd "Alterthumswissenschaften" and "Kinderbewahrungsanstalten" and "Unabhaengigkeitserklaerungen" and "Wiedererstellungbestrebungen" and
"Waffenstillstandsunterhandlungen." Sometimes you'd sorta maybe understand something that was kinda on the edge of yer mind, kinda ticklin' fer meaning, but there weren't none. So only mein Bruddder learnt any German and the other two of use stuck to languages folks could unnerstand, like Profane and Obscene and Vulgar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 10:15 AM

And not only will he have to read Goethe by candlelight without a dictionary but it will be in German in the old script, right?

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 09:09 AM

Did Amos just dangle his participle in front of MOM?

That is *so* SICK


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 02:44 AM

Dearest Shane

Okay, folkes, here is taday's big qwestion:

How many corkpullers does it take to flip the sox off'n a dead preist?


I am setting you a challenge to correct your spelling in the above.

Just rewrite 3 times with corrections. Then we will work together on your sentence diagramming, sweetie.   

If you don't do this, I will stand over you and make you read







Goethe, by candle light, without a dictionary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 12:10 AM

Spinners for dinner? What are you doing, eating plates?

We don't have squirrel problems here. I have a couple of nuts guarding me from squirrels. So far the score is

Dogs: 5 (more or less. If you count possums, birds, snakes, etc., much higher)   
Squirrels: 0

If you get my drift. Catching squirrels is fine entertainment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:29 PM

He set his hook upon the post.
His hooks he set, did he.
And snatched away the spinner fair,
From fussing Rapaire.

He set his glinting hooks and then
Right boldly did he post
And ate the spinner winner's dinner---
A better meal than most!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:21 PM


 For what is real, and what is
aboriginal, cannot be fucked with.



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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:13 PM

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:11 PM

Then Amos cried in deep regret
Alas I an a sinner!
And to Fayre Lady Eisely,
Who posteth so wisely
I shall give o'er this spinner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:09 PM

Rapaire leaped out and loudly roared
That spinner wishing greatly,
But all that he could write was
"Go to sleep"
For he had arrived too lately.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:08 PM

)gat=gay)

But when she came up to that thread
Her hope they were forsaken
For Amos had come like a bird in the night
And the spinner it was taken!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:07 PM

...and go to sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:07 PM

There was a lady and a lady gat
Of love she was a sinner
She set herself on the MOAB road
For to catch hersel' a spinner...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 10:04 PM

Get set . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 10:04 PM

Rapaire, get ready . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:57 PM

She wouldn't be making her own fuss if you hadn't prepositioned her in the first place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:47 PM

Well, one sure source of failure is making a big fuss about a tiny issue, like a preposition, for example.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:19 PM

Amos, my fusses are all "Made In The U.S.A." by skilled craftsfolks, who have been handed down the craft of fussmaking for generations. Each is a custom design and the fussmaker takes great pride in creating only the finest, using only the best fussmaking tools so that you know that each fuss has been crafted by hand from conception to the final product. In fact, each fussmaker signs and dates their work and you are provided with photos of each step in the process. They like to joke about their "fussy fusses" and should one not meet the buyer's expectations it will be replaced for the cost of shipping and handling. We only ask you to tell us why it failed so that on a going forward basis we can improve the product.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:14 PM

I am abashed, disgruntled and nonplussed, my darlin'.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:12 PM

* ahem *

...of which well-rounded fusses can boast.....

Shame, Amos.

Shame.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 07:00 PM

The squirtrel prolly cane crawling up the tree to visit the crow and the crow was having a bad feathers day.

Rapaire, I do not monger my fusses, nor would I offer any custom to such a trade. My fusses are for my own consumption only, mostly for recreational purposes, and are hand-groomed and nourished in my garden patch, and carefully pruned of bad spots, sweet spots, reasonablesness and placidity if it starts to appear around the edges. I like my fusses strong, choleric, irascible, and occasionally just the slightest bit terpsichorean, but not enough to cause damage, and with the fine sharp edges only the most well-rounded fusses can boast of.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 06:35 PM

Okay, folkes, here is taday's big qwestion:

How many corkpullers does it take to flip the sox off'n a dead preist?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 06:07 PM

I imagine it et the crow aigs - or tried to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 06:03 PM

Good luck doing that here. At least YOU can throw golf balls at the squirrels---or make a fuss about them as a kind of advertisement for your new business.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:58 PM

Eiseley, when I lived in Indiana we would find dead birds in the back yard. One day I saw a squirrel biting off the top of the skull of a bird. That was also the day I began to live-trap out all the squirrels and had Animal Control deal with them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:56 PM

Amos, if you want a fuss you'll have to pay 50% up front. And if you're thinking of going into fussmongering let me remind you that we will beat the prices of all legitimate competitors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:53 PM

By the way, my business is selling fusses, like an ironmonger sells hardware and a whoremong...well, never mind. Anyway, you pay me and I'll sell you a first-class fuss at the best prices around, but it's DYI. Our motto is "No One Can Provide A Fuss Like Us." And we'll beat any legitimate competitor's prices, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:52 PM

Oh my goodness! I was driving back from the grocery store where my young adult librarian and I bought three gallons of ice cream for our root beer float party today, when we saw an amazing sight: a crow was chasing a squirrel across the road, flying above it and pecking at it all the way! What could the squirrel have done to make the crow so angry?

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:52 PM

You did a first rate job, VT. A fine, sturdy fuss, delicate in its hooks and subtle shadings of blame and lament. And with overtones of dignity and high literature at the same time!! Really, I think Rapaire should take lessons!! Before he went professional, his fusses were all very egoistical and intentionally obscure, and they left you feeling like you could not for the life of you see what the fuss was about. Especially when he wrote them in Turkish or High Latin, not because these were appropriate languages but because he thought being mysterious made him seem important. And of course, it never did!!

So I would not worry about the quality of fuss--it is not strained. It soundeth as the gentle whinging from heaven, and all that...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:49 PM

You did nothing wrong. I'm more energetic now, so here's The Principle:

Well, now I can't find it. But there really is one, but you didn't do anything wrong. You can't do anything wrong here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:22 PM

oh dear... now I know I have gone and done something wrong.

Sorry MOM

SRS... We have a bigger problem than crows and seagull crashing into hard road or sand or rocks.

Literally bigger. Swans sometimes mistake wet roads for rivers. Consequences can be dire as you can imagine.

Rap... I could have paid for you to fuss at me for making such a fuss over a sore toe.   But I was too poor then. I had to make my own fuss.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:15 PM

Eiseley - The Light Princess is my favourite fairy tale. Read it over and over to my kids.

The toe thing was actually a wart on inside of toe and it was some 12 years ago when I had just finished uni and was reading Goethe for the hell of it. I had written this vignette in 1998 and was rereading it this evening.
Later peeking into MOABS, thought this is perfect. So I copied and pasted it in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:11 PM

I just read about flattened seagulls over on the crows cracking nuts thread.

I think, in those two concepts, we could keep MOAB afloat for at least 100 posts, don't you think?

Crows cracking nuts. . . now there's an image.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:07 PM

VT, you need to know and heed the Guiding Principle of MOAB. I don't have the energy right now to post it, but I'm certain Amos will enlighten you. Welcome, by the way, to Mom's place, where every one is above average except for those who are a wee bit below.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:04 PM

So if we have something that needs to have a fuss made about it, are you the man to call? What are your rates? Do you work by the hour or by the job?

VirginiaTam, I recently posted a section from George MacDonald's Light Princess for Amos and Rapaire. Here is what he had to say about the princess and a sore toe:

""The only revenge the princess took upon her aunt, was to tread pretty hard on her gouty toe, the next time she saw her. But she was sorry for it the very next day, when she heard that the water had undermined her house, and that it had fallen in the night, burying her in its ruins; whence no one ever ventured to dig up her body. There she lies to this day."

May your house stay perfectly sound and your toe heal soon.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 03:39 PM

not that anything much can trump Rap's last post, but there is this.

Not brilliant but I had to say it somewhere.

on reading Goethe and having a pain in my toe

It never ceases to astonish me that the body, as a whole, can and will sympathise with a pain in such an insignificant part as a toe.   Undoubtedly, the body will attempt to compensate, even to a ridiculous degree, in favour of the silly digit.

And this! That the mind understands why, yet will not resign itself to the phenomenon. So that, therefore, the mind must be perplexed at the body's obstinate catering to an offended micro-part, the body overtaxes itself to protect that part.

The mind, invariably attempts to will the body to the contrary, rationalizing that only more of its parts will become injured in this ludicrous pursuit of the toe's comfort. Hence, the entire organism is at odds with itself, each part now rebelling either for or against another so that the whole system becomes dysfunctional.



"all that is transitory is but a metaphor" my big toe?..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 03:07 PM

Fussmonger


Extraordinary



Mr. Rapaire is
pleased to announce
that he has taken up
the trade of
Fussmonger
Extraordinary and
hopes that all will
favor him with their
custom at his shop in


MOAB Street.



(Peacemongering also provided at slightly
higher rates.)





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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 02:55 PM

YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE!!

Rapaire coming out of retirement. A announcement will be forthcoming.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 12:42 PM

She's depressed because no one has posted anything absolutely brilliant here lately.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:28 AM

Nah, she was just sleeping in to avoid having to face all the whinging. SHe don't buy off t6hat easy, Man O' Booques!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 10:37 AM

Poor Mom. No one else to say, "Good Morning!" and greet her with a smiling face, a nice pot of tea, some fresh scones, and a reminder that his allowance is overdue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 10 - 11:44 PM

Besides, the school kids have the public libraries -- THEY always have lots and lots of money because politicians KNOW their value to a community.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 May 10 - 11:43 PM

Oops. Posted this on the wrong thread, so I'll put it here, also:

The salmon was excellent, but was only a little over a pound for the three of us. I bought it for dinner yesterday with 2 in mind. I know, some people don't eat that much in a week, but we're spoiled. Anyway, I found an extra little New York strip steak in the freezer and put that on the grill also. My son really liked this salmon, so since it was kind of a celebratory dinner also I let him have a big chunk of my fish and I ate the steak. I'll go get more salmon tomorrow--it was excellent, some Columbia River salmon at 1/3 to 1/2 have the price of the Alaska fish and it's the same blankety blank varieties. :) It's all in a name: Copper River or Columbia River. Roll On Columbia, and give me some good fish. If it was good enough for Lewis and Clark (well, it wasn't really, because they preferred to buy Indian dogs and eat them) it's good enough for us!

The corn was great, that Olathe variety (or a good knockoff) and the Italian bread was warm and melted butter quickly. Watermelon to top it off. Mmmmm!

MOM, no one wants to play spin the bottle. Here, let me put that in the recycle bin. That German beer was good with the fish and corn, wasn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 10 - 11:39 PM

I knew I had a good reason for discouraging Sum Yung Sun from reading MOAB!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 May 10 - 11:34 PM

And video games. They need to spend hours on games, not reading.


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