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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Eiseley 21 Mar 10 - 07:12 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 06:53 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 21 Mar 10 - 06:36 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM
gnu 21 Mar 10 - 06:25 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 06:03 PM
gnu 21 Mar 10 - 06:02 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 05:47 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM
gnu 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 02:52 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 01:43 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 12:48 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 11:45 AM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 01:18 AM
Rapparee 20 Mar 10 - 09:12 PM
Amos 20 Mar 10 - 09:07 PM
Acme 20 Mar 10 - 07:01 PM
Amos 20 Mar 10 - 06:21 PM
Amos 20 Mar 10 - 01:37 PM
Acme 20 Mar 10 - 12:49 PM
Eiseley 20 Mar 10 - 12:00 PM
Amos 20 Mar 10 - 11:28 AM
Little Hawk 20 Mar 10 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 20 Mar 10 - 09:16 AM
Acme 20 Mar 10 - 01:15 AM
Rapparee 19 Mar 10 - 10:16 PM
Amos 19 Mar 10 - 08:57 PM
Eiseley 19 Mar 10 - 06:27 PM
Little Hawk 19 Mar 10 - 03:58 PM
Little Hawk 19 Mar 10 - 03:51 PM
Amos 19 Mar 10 - 02:57 PM
Amos 19 Mar 10 - 02:37 PM
Acme 19 Mar 10 - 12:52 PM
Little Hawk 19 Mar 10 - 12:17 PM
Amos 19 Mar 10 - 11:13 AM
Amos 19 Mar 10 - 11:12 AM
Amos 19 Mar 10 - 10:27 AM
Eiseley 19 Mar 10 - 09:10 AM
Acme 18 Mar 10 - 11:33 PM
Rapparee 18 Mar 10 - 09:44 PM
Little Hawk 18 Mar 10 - 08:23 PM
Acme 18 Mar 10 - 07:41 PM
Amos 18 Mar 10 - 06:54 PM
Acme 18 Mar 10 - 05:18 PM
Eiseley 18 Mar 10 - 04:31 PM
Acme 18 Mar 10 - 04:13 PM
Amos 18 Mar 10 - 01:12 PM
Acme 18 Mar 10 - 11:53 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 07:12 PM

I believe all of the words were pronounced. At least they were all vocalized, not mouthed, and none of them had to be written on a napkin because they were unpronounceable.

Eiseley.

I'm just so happy I can post with a clear conscience now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:53 PM

And the words that were pronounced were:


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:36 PM

Whew! Rapaire left the room for a minute. Hey MOM, he stole my rhyme. I was going to say something about Atta, Kath! (rhyming with psychopath) that my dad used to say. But he had "sussed me out" as Amos said, earlier. Now he's back. But I'm not scared. Happy Day! I can participate. Little Hawk, he has something for you that I think you'll like.
Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM

Dippity to raw. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM

I now know who Eiseley is and can confirm that s/he has indeed read the ENTIRE MOAB corpus from beginning to end. He or she is now resting in a quiet place in the Deliriously Joyful Valley Home For the Terminally, pending transfer to the NYCFTTS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:25 PM

That's what I said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:03 PM

No dipshits....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:02 PM

Depends on the dip. Some are better than others. Make sure the dip you hire uses the proper dip.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 05:47 PM

I had that thought also. Or dipping it, but I think dipping metal isn't so good for the metal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM

Put it in the back of your truck and take it to a man who has a small sandblaster. They usually run them inside a tent like a paint booth. For a small sum he will shot-blast or sand-blast or water-blast every iota of paint, rust and grime off the thing and you'll be ready to prime and paint it in a day instead of weeks of sanding.


Just a thought.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM

Amos... wow dude! That is, like, fuckin poetic man. Yeah, I see it too. I am close to being Caliverted, eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 02:52 PM

A sandblaster in the house doesn't sound any better than sand paper, Amos. What are you thinking?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 01:43 PM

ISn't there someone near with a sandblaster? Oh, the agonies saved!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 12:48 PM

36o this morning, the snow overnight didn't stick. Good thing I didn't plant the garden yet. MOM was planning to sand a wrought iron bench we picked up at the dump last week, but it's too cold to go out and neither of us wants all of those old paint chips in the house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 11:45 AM

It is a balmy Sunday morning here in SOuthern California; blue skies and the first rays of Spring waft through the neighborhood. The city is alive and reading up on the days events, while in its secret heart it rejoices that the chilly rains of winter are now behind us, and the Beautiful Days of Paradise --our normal fair--have returned unmarred. We celebrate that the Pacific Ocean has stayed in its place, and that we have not fallen into it lock and stock. We celebrate that we had no freezing, no snow, no bitter hail, in our hivernal transition. We rejoice that we are California, where lives go to be reborn, where laid back is a Senior Policy, and whence all consciousness comes from returns.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 01:18 AM

Brilliant, sir. You must be home where you can reach the Reference Room's Rhyming Dictionary....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 09:12 PM

Also

garden path
momey rath
insert[ed] [a] cath (short for "catheterization" or "catheter")
lovely Kath (short for "Kathleen," "Katherine," etc.)

e.g.,

Take the lovely Kath
Down the garden path
To insert a cath
In a momey rath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 09:07 PM

Well, I am sorry to hear it, Stilly. You know, you could possibly get yourself a transfer to UCSD... It would make your years much easier.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 07:01 PM

Why, Sunday is the second day of spring, and maybe, just maybe, down here in Texas, Spring Will Return. Because right now it is friggin' winter again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 06:21 PM

SO...what happens on Sunday, then? For any such proposition, to be writ and put up by Eiseley, must sure be put wisely.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 01:37 PM

Well, I was looking for two or three-point rhymes not just that last syllable. But hey, when you're up agin it, you gotta use what comes to hand. I love rhyming "polymath" with "psychopath". It seems so...so....I dunno, so MOAB somehow.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 12:49 PM

Thank god he's talking about 2,4,5D. I thought he might have some napalm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 12:00 PM

Psychopath Rhymes

bubble bath   (What I will take after all the yard work)
Amos hath   (Already used this word as a rhyme)
Plastered lath        (what my house walls are made of)
Polymath (all you MOABs)
Psychopath (the word itself)
Raven quath (past perfect of quoth)
Eiseley wrath (what my children fear)


There's one more, but I need to wait until after Sunday to post it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 11:28 AM

He is the very model of a modernistic psychopath,
He has the aberrations that the very modern psycho hath,
He calculates the present using antiquated dino math
He is the very model of a modernistic psychopath!


...Well, I'm sorry. But how many words or phrases can you come up with which rhyme with psychopath?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 10:36 AM

You're like Chongo, Rapaire, you go straight for results by the most direct route possible... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 09:16 AM

I got some Army surplus weed killer. It comes in 55 gallon drum with an orange stripe around them. It's labeled something like "Herbicide, Butyl Ester, 2,4,5-D" or something. Kills the weeds real good. Also the lawn, the trees, the flowers, large parts of the golf course, and some of the neighbors. The barrels pretty old and rusty, but thats okay because I put it where any leaks will run onto neighbor's place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 01:15 AM

If you want to do some killing or mental or mystical levitating, you can come help weed my garden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 10:16 PM

I can kill people using only the common principles of physics and chemistry. So why waste time learning to do it some other way? Killing is easy enough as it is...and far, far too frequent.

Now, if he said he could beat me in, say, checkers by moving the pieces only by using his mystical powers THAT would be something else. But killing? Phooey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 08:57 PM

Whoof!! Quelle sparqule!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 06:27 PM

Like jewels glinting in a rushing stream
The children of the Mother brightly shine.
How many are the stones that lie between
The ever-winding, narrow banks of thine?
It's easy to assume a flash of wit
Is just a sparkle or a glint of sun
Reflected from the surface of the brook
Instead of shining from a clever pun.

But I, who've floated all that long, strange glide,
Have learned to recognize the subtle gleam
From hidden gems that rest beneath the tide:
Kind Amos, lovely Sage, bold Rapaire
And others, whose bright voices join the throng.
O, each of you, I thank you for your song!


Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 03:58 PM

And if he had....well, he would have publicly failed to meet the demonic requirements of real demonhood! ;-D He could then have been defrocked of his demonic credentials and titles and turned into a national laughing stock...as I gather has happened anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 03:51 PM

For heaven's sake! LOL! Any so-called "holy man" who states that he can kill someone by mystical power and then sets out to do so as a public demonstration of his omnipotence is very clearly a complete phony in the first place, because if he WAS a genuine holy man, he would not be engaging in such attention-getting and valueless (not to mention evil) activities as attempting to publicly kill another person just to prove he can do it.

That is not what being a holy man is about. You're supposed to assist and improve life, not destroy it.

This guy should have claimed to be a demon, not a holy man. It would have been a lot closer to the truth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 02:57 PM

* You know who's got a tough job? The head of the Indian Rationalists' Association.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 02:37 PM

This thread is oozing the theme music from some Warner Brothers cartoon, where Wile E. Coyote is trying to sneak around a rock outcropping to capture a Road Runner but the orchestra keeps making dark tense musical clues...




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 12:52 PM

Today, the garden!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 12:17 PM

Today, guacamole. Tomorrow, the world!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 11:13 AM

Today, the explosion; tomorrow, just another day.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 11:12 AM

Why wise Eiseley eyes primes I dinna ken;
But primes have minds of their own and will not
Be divided. It may be, then,
She seeks a kindred archetype, so to inform
In the ways of faultlessness. Primes
Know only wholeness of themselves and One
Is their sole divisor. Even time
Cannot change their integrity. Done
is Done and when your number's Prime
You stand unflawed for all accounts, all times.
This may be why wise Eiseley eyes the Primes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 10:27 AM

Why that's amazing. He could have been writing about Rapaire!!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 09:10 AM

Here's a lift up, dear MOM.

A Code of Morals
Rudyard Kipling
Now Jones had left his new-wed bride to keep his house in order,
And hied away to the Hurrum Hills above the Afghan border,
To sit on a rock with a heliograph; but ere he left he taught
His wife the working of the Code that sets the miles at naught.

And Love had made him very sage, as Nature made her fair;
So Cupid and Apollo linked, per heliograph, the pair.
At dawn, across the Hurrum Hills, he flashed her counsel wise?
At e'en, the dying sunset bore her husband's homilies.

He warned her 'gainst seductive youths in scarlet clad and gold,
As much as 'gainst the blandishments paternal of the old;
But kept his gravest warnings for (hereby my ditty hangs)
That snowy-haired Lothario, Lieutenant-General Bangs.

'Twas General Bangs, with Aide and Staff, who tittupped on the way,
When they beheld a heliograph tempestuously at play.
They thought of Border risings, and of stations sacked and burnt?
So stopped to take the message down?and this is what they learnt:?

"Dash dot dot, dot, dot dash, dot dash dot" twice. The General swore.
"Was ever General Officer addressed as 'dear' before?
"'My Love,' i' faith! 'My Duck,' Gadzooks! 'My darling popsy-wop!'
"Spirit of great Lord Wolseley, who is on that mountain top?"

The artless Aide-de-camp was mute; the gilded Staff were still,
As, dumb with pent-up mirth, they booked that message from the hill;
For clear as summer lightning-flare, the husband's warning ran:?
"Don't dance or ride with General Bangs?a most immoral man."

[At dawn, across the Hurrum Hills, he flashed her counsel wise?
But, howsoever Love be blind, the world at large hath eyes.]
With damnatory dot and dash he heliographed his wife
Some interesting details of the General's private life.

The artless Aide-de-camp was mute, the shining Staff were still,
And red and ever redder grew the General's shaven gill.
And this is what he said at last (his feelings matter not):?
"I think we've tapped a private line. Hi! Threes about there! Trot!"

All honour unto Bangs, for ne'er did Jones thereafter know
By word or act official who read off that helio.;
But the tale is on the Frontier, and from Michni to Mooltan
They know the worthy General as "that most immoral man."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Mar 10 - 11:33 PM

Tell us instead about the drive home. Did you pick up any road kill to throw in the freezer or give any interesting hitch hikers a ride?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 10 - 09:44 PM

I can but give heart-felt congratulations. I shall have the Idaho Legion hoist a keg or six to you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Mar 10 - 08:23 PM

OH!!! Be still, my beating heart!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Mar 10 - 07:41 PM


3
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Mar 10 - 06:54 PM

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Mar 10 - 05:18 PM

"The Cat in the Hat meets Mike Myers"

Oh, wait, they did that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 18 Mar 10 - 04:31 PM

Not yet, but SOOOON----I hope! (Long story)
Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Mar 10 - 04:13 PM

Well?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Mar 10 - 01:12 PM

Or "Captain Nemo and Spongebob Cavort Under the Sea"....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Mar 10 - 11:53 AM

I must say, for the parodists or whatever they are, Jane Austen is low-hanging fruit. She's so continually popular that these hangers-on are guaranteed some audience who simply stumble upon these offerings.

You notice they're not doing "Captain Underpants and the Werewolf."


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