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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 05 Feb 16 - 03:54 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 16 - 02:56 PM
Little Hawk 05 Feb 16 - 02:20 PM
Amos 05 Feb 16 - 11:52 AM
Rapparee 05 Feb 16 - 08:23 AM
GUEST,anathema 04 Feb 16 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 16 - 10:15 PM
Amos 04 Feb 16 - 06:24 PM
Little Hawk 04 Feb 16 - 10:43 AM
Rapparee 04 Feb 16 - 09:13 AM
Amos 04 Feb 16 - 01:40 AM
Rapparee 03 Feb 16 - 08:44 PM
gnu 03 Feb 16 - 05:53 PM
Amos 03 Feb 16 - 11:43 AM
Little Hawk 03 Feb 16 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 03 Feb 16 - 12:32 AM
Rapparee 03 Feb 16 - 12:30 AM
gnu 02 Feb 16 - 09:46 PM
Little Hawk 02 Feb 16 - 04:32 PM
Amos 02 Feb 16 - 12:55 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 16 - 10:10 AM
gnu 02 Feb 16 - 07:18 AM
gnu 02 Feb 16 - 06:35 AM
Amos 01 Feb 16 - 08:49 PM
Little Hawk 01 Feb 16 - 10:13 AM
Rapparee 01 Feb 16 - 10:05 AM
Amos 01 Feb 16 - 12:37 AM
Little Hawk 31 Jan 16 - 10:15 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 16 - 09:53 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jan 16 - 09:18 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 16 - 06:22 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jan 16 - 11:43 AM
Acme 31 Jan 16 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 16 - 10:50 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jan 16 - 02:16 AM
Amos 30 Jan 16 - 01:02 AM
GUEST 29 Jan 16 - 11:31 PM
Acme 29 Jan 16 - 10:51 PM
GUEST,heedlessness 29 Jan 16 - 06:48 PM
gnu 29 Jan 16 - 06:44 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 16 - 04:10 PM
gnu 29 Jan 16 - 03:40 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jan 16 - 12:17 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 16 - 09:53 AM
gnu 29 Jan 16 - 07:00 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jan 16 - 12:31 AM
Rapparee 28 Jan 16 - 08:43 PM
gnu 28 Jan 16 - 06:36 PM
Amos 28 Jan 16 - 05:32 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 16 - 03:17 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Feb 16 - 03:54 PM

Excellent!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 16 - 02:56 PM

Yesterday I had my eye checked and received a new prescription to hold me until the other eye is done on April 26.

A year ago (January 19, 2015, exactly one year before my eye surgery) my prescription started with "+6.00". Now it starts "+2.25." I can read the small print!!!

Have a beer -- not Bud or Coors or Miller, a real beer -- celebrating!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Feb 16 - 02:20 PM

The Ookmeister (Chongo) very seldom lets himself be bothered by things like transient guilt. To do so would only interfere needlessly with his meteoric passage through life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 16 - 11:52 AM

Being more experienced in the world than Robin, Rapp lowers his standards quicker than he can violate them. The saves him all kinds of stress from transient guilt.

The evasive technique of vacillating willfully between the literal and the metaphorical is a paltry gimmick, Bookmeister.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 16 - 08:23 AM

I've seen and appreciated that before, GUEST anathema. Moreover, I can play both "Retreat" and "To The Colors" on my bugle! (Amos is going to play the drum.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,anathema
Date: 04 Feb 16 - 11:38 PM

Salute to Robin--

I was violating my standards quicker than I could lower them 


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 16 - 10:15 PM

A snare might cause pangs, Amos, but not defamation. And a well made and laid snare might cause but little pangs to the snared. Certainly in any situation in which I would lay a snare it would help spare me the pangs of hunger!

Unless...did you mean a snare drum? If so you could do the rolls as I played the appropriate bugle call. Just imagine the excitement at Getaway, for example, if Reveille was played on drum and bugle outside of the Peace Cabin! Everyone loves well played drums and bugles!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 16 - 06:24 PM

Deflect, dodge, avoid, circumlocute, evade, flinch, blench, shirk, duck and elude, sir Booquemeister. It shall not gain you a whit nor a farthing in merit, nor in virtue, nor in truth. Your goodness is eternally marred by your perpetual avoidance.

As for your unwitting accomplice, I shall save my breath, and taske no umbrage at his innocent beguilement. Let he who weaves the snare suffer the pangs and defamation thereof.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Feb 16 - 10:43 AM

Amos has tried in vain to emulate my creative magnificence, Rap, but despite his valiant attempts he has come up "a nose short". Still, a worthy effort on his part. I am intrigued by the Irish tale about needing to find a king who was "physically perfect"! This would be akin to looking for the Fountain of Youth or the Holy Grail, in my opinion. Shane who IS Irish has often *claimed* to be physically perfect (specially below the belt)...but everyone knows it's a lie. Penelope Rutledge imagines herself to be physically perfect, and she almost is, except for the slight trace of a dueling scar on her left cheek, acquired during a disagreement with Angelique Forget on Penelope's storied romantic trip to Spain some years back. I've seen the odd Dachshund who was nearly physically perfect...

Yes, physical perfection is exceedingly hard to find in this world. I only know of 2 cases of it.

One is a local woman I know, a friend of mine who shall remain nameless, as I would not wish to cause her embarrassment.

And the other is, of course, Chongo Chimp. He is utterly perfect from his hard little cranium to the tip of his fully articulate toes, and this is another good reason to vote for him in November and finally put someone in the White House who isn't either a pathetic corporate shill or a certifiable lunatic.

The choice is obvious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 16 - 09:13 AM

Amos, are you "on" Little Hawk again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 16 - 01:40 AM

See, that's what is so weird. He creates universes, peoples them with bizarre but healthy characters, goes around bragging about it all, and then bitches about the cost of body parts. Some people! Ya know what I mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 16 - 08:44 PM

It's an additional USD 350.00. Medicare only covers the basic silver arm, not replacing it with a flesh and blood one. Engraving on the silver arm is also extra.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Feb 16 - 05:53 PM

Silver arm and then a real arm? Bionic/organic hybrid motherfucker! I thought my bionic eyes were cool! How cool is that shit? Silver and then flesh and blood? Does Medicare cover that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 16 - 11:43 AM

The story of Nuada, so glibly thrown out by Rapparree, is instructive. He was King, you know, over the Tuatha Dé, who fought for and won the right to occupy three-quarters of Ireland's fair isle.

Having lost his arm, Nuada was no longer eligible for kingship due to the Tuatha Dé tradition that their king must be physically perfect, and he was replaced as king by Bres, a half-Fomorian prince renowned for his beauty and intellect. The Fomorians were mythological enemies of the people of Ireland, often equated with the mythological "opposing force" such as the Greek Titans to the Olympians, and during Bres's reign they imposed great tribute on the Tuatha Dé, who became disgruntled with their new king's oppressive rule and lack of hospitality. By this time Nuada had his lost arm replaced by a working silver one by the physician Dian Cecht and the wright Creidhne (and later with a new arm of flesh and blood by Dian Cecht's son Miach). Bres was removed from the kingship, having ruled for seven years, and Nuada was restored. He ruled for twenty more years.[3]

Bres, aided by the Fomorian Balor of the Evil Eye, attempted to retake the kingship by force, and war and continued oppression followed. When the youthful and vigorous Lugh joined Nuada's court, the king realised the multi-talented youth could lead the Tuatha Dé against the Fomorians, and stood down in his favour. The second Battle of Mag Tuired followed. Nuada was killed and beheaded in battle by Balor, but Lugh avenged him by killing Balor and led the Tuatha Dé to victory.[

So be not too hasty, dear Bookmonster, to emulate a fallen king, no matter how brightly glisteneth his arm, his nose, or even his pearly smile!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Feb 16 - 09:56 AM

I've never forgotten Tim Strawn and his silver nose. He should have known better than to shoot the girl's father. He got what he deserved from Kid Shelleen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 16 - 12:32 AM

had, not has.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 16 - 12:30 AM

I considered replacing it with a silver hand, Nuada Airgetlám did it with an entire arm. Tim Strawn, of course, has a silver nose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 16 - 09:46 PM

WTF is "Gnu"? Never heard of "Gnu". I know of a "gnu". He's a cool dude. Musician, poet, writer, story teller of note and one bad-assed dude if you cross him or are rude to the elderly. I suppose crossing him and being rude to the elderly are one in the same. Don't fuck with him or you get Wildebeest.

Oh dear! Alternate personalities? Perhaps I have Hawk's Syndrome? Albeit a mild case. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Feb 16 - 04:32 PM

Good advice, Amos. "Deity, heal thyself!"

Alternatively...I could send Chongo over to help Rap heal himself with copious amounts of whisky, which is how Chongo usually deals with pain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 16 - 12:55 PM

Gee, I sympathize. Seems to me, if I were in your place, I would just create a whole and perfect hand to replace the hurting one. Just, you know, ZAAAAAAPPPP! and there you go-- kinda like the way you "created" Little Hawk and Gnu and BDIBR and Chongo inter alia.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 16 - 10:10 AM

Yesterday afternoon I saw the hand doctor (well, physician's assistant) who confirmed what I suspected: trigger finger caused by synovial tendonitis. Rather than surgery, he elected to shoot cortisone into the tendon of the ring finger on my left hand.

I will only say that it was extremely painful. The only thing I've ever had done that comes close is when, many years back, an oral surgeon injected a local anesthetic directly into a cyst in my mouth -- which caused me to pass out.

So far it's not doing much but I was told it will take a couple of days.

Yeesh! The things I go through for me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 16 - 07:18 AM

Telegraph

"In at least six precincts across Iowa Monday, Democratic caucus votes ended in a tie, forcing a coin toss to decide which candidate would win a county delegate.

Mrs. Clinton won all of these - securing her an incredibly narrow lead.

It seems quite ironic that the more socialist candidate lost because of cold hard cash."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 16 - 06:35 AM

CBS

"Last Updated Feb 2, 2016 4:11 AM EST

Monday's all-important Democratic caucuses in Iowa ended in what amounts to a dead heat.

A statement from the party's leader called the finish between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders "historically close," but didn't declare a winner.

Dr. Andy McGuire said Clinton was awarded 699.57 state delegate equivalents, Sanders 695.49, Martin O'Malley 7.68 and uncommitted, .46.

One precinct still hadn't reported, in Des Moines, with 2.28 state delegate equivalents."

Rats!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 16 - 08:49 PM

With 10% of the precincts reporting in, Hilary leads Bernie:

Hillary
CLINTON
81        52.6%
        
Bernie
SANDERS
71        46.1%

Is this a reflection of the future?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Feb 16 - 10:13 AM

I had a great many books here, but I have been thinning them out in recent years, taking the ones I didn't think I'd read again to trade in at the used book store. I now probably have 1/5 as many books as I used to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 16 - 10:05 AM

I'm afraid that my own library, from which I usually post, most often looks like this. I am trying to get a handle on my 1,938 (at last count, and incomplete at that) books. (My catalog is online; be nice and I'll share the URL.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 16 - 12:37 AM

One gem of library Truth can be found in the movie "The Paper Chase", available on Netflix. Recommended for its sense of balance between the world of significance and the world of substance. Our culture, as we know so well, tends to divorce these two fields from each other, leading to lives rich in artifice and pretense.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jan 16 - 10:15 PM

Beautiful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 16 - 09:53 PM

A real library! Another. And yet another.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jan 16 - 09:18 PM

Hear! Hear! You almost bring tears to my eyes, good sir!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 16 - 06:22 PM

How well I remember the library patrons! Elderly gentlefolk ensconced at the walnut tables, their pens scratching busily as they made notes, the green-glass shades of the brass lamps soothing the light that escaped as the Pages, with silent tread, brought a requested book -- so eagerly sought! -- to a patron.

The quiet! Ah, the quiet in which one could think! But the silence seemed to resonate with the thoughts of those availing themselves of the priceless knowledge so carefully collected over, perhaps, centuries by a line of librarians stretching back into the darkness of Time!

Librarians! Those dauntless priests and priestesses of knowledge! They who ultimately save the World from Chaos and total darkness! Unthanked, they continue their ages-old task of preserving Knowledge and, ultimately, bringing it to a new mind which, awakened to the possibilities inherent in it, dances with delight and shouts for joy within itself!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jan 16 - 11:43 AM

Alas! The classically silent library of yore has been swept away by a hideous tide of noisy consumer clone Kens and Barbies clutching iPhones, taking "selfies", inserting the word "like" at least 3 times into every sentence they speak, and gazing into handheld video screens. Books? Who reads books anymore?

Well, I do. I go to the restaurant, sit with my back to the TV screen (on which CNN is dispensing repetitive propaganda), have a quiet meal alone, and read my book. But I'm a bit unusual.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 16 - 11:27 AM

You can save yourself the trouble now, Rap. Librarians don't Shoosh! any more. Libraries are getting to be noisy places. No smoking, but patrons are allowed to bring in food. Quiet areas are designated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 16 - 10:50 PM

I am the real Rapparee. I say that in all humilty, as I don't know where the other one came from. I'm just a retired librarian living in Idaho, someone who has had some health issues lately that don't seem to be going away any time soon.

The last time I was filled with braggadocio was years ago in college when I was reading a part from Shakespeare -- Mercutio, I think it was, from Romeo and Juliet -- in a class more than a half a century ago.

Like every male librarian, current or past, I'm a gray sort of guy who wear wire rimmed glasses with thick lenses down on my nose. I used to shoosh people a lot but recently I find myself too out of breath to shoosh well. But then I'm out of shooshing practice and getting older and older. Yes, I'm all bent over and walk with a cane and shuffling steps which wear out my carpet slippers too fast.

But I'm the real Rapparee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jan 16 - 02:16 AM

I suggest that you make up a credible and viable alternative to the Democrats and the Republicans. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 16 - 01:02 AM

I used to make up a man named Rapparree, whose bloviation and braggadocio were fine tuned to entertain me to the sturdy rhythm of his left-handed chest pounding.

But I outgrew the habit and stopped making him up, and have heard nothing of or from him since.

I am open to suggestions as to whom I might mock up next, but make them at least interesting. No chimps or chumps need apply.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 11:31 PM

an awful mess    

      _=_ 
    q(-_-)p 
    '_) (_` 
    /__/ \ 
  _(<_ / )_ 
(__\_\_|_/__)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 10:51 PM

In impressionist cat? Surely not Dr. Schrodinger's animal?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,heedlessness
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 06:48 PM

_=_
   q(-_-)p
   '_) (_`
    /__/ \
   _(<_ / )_
(__\_\_|_/__)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 06:44 PM

That would suck. She has enough to deal with. Everything from monkeys to self-appointed deities to backwoods trash to... leave her alone! She's in her Autumnal Equinogs. Let her sip the last of the very solace she has earned before she fades into the abyss as we all must do.

Or, we could just keep shooting the shit until we go tits up. Whatever.

Hey... you gonna finish that? I'll take it. I ain't proud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 04:10 PM

Being eternal, I am immortal. I am, at the same time and space, mortal. I am anchored in the "past" and the "future" by the chain known as the "present."

I do not expect y'all to understand this stuff, because if you did your head would explode and make an awful mess for Mom to clean up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 03:40 PM

Who?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 12:17 PM

Are you talking to your mortal self again, Rap? A bit of a disappointment, isn't he? :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 09:53 AM

I also created YOU. And I can uncreate you. That being the case it behooves you to acknowledge me as you creator.

And when you complain to me of cataracts, zits, boils on your saddle-sitter, no money, a busted truck, or anything else -- only I am perfect. And I achieved perfection the hard way! All I am doing is allowing you to try (and fail) to achieve the perfection I have.

Besides, if I'd created you perfect I would have created myself again. Granted, I'd have someone with whom to hold an intelligent conversation, but I can talk with myself now.

Just remember your mottos: Ad astra per asparagus! Corripe Cervisiam! Non Gradus Anus Rodentum! Vescere bracis meis! Malo mala mali quam mala equui! Cogito Ergo Doleo! Utinam barbari alum tuum invadant! Sed semper ubi sububi in caput meum! Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem!

Remember them and they will see you through.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 07:00 AM

WANTED : Schrödinger's cat. Dead and alive. (AU)

Rap created Amos > Amos exists.

Incognito, ergo sumwhat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 12:31 AM

Right....


(the sound of my footsteps walking away, accompanied by my wry chuckling)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 08:43 PM

Amos, Amos, Amos. I have told you repeatedly that I created you. Just because I don't require adoration and thanks, to say nothing of sacrifices, does not give you liberty to claim you created me. I have been, am, and always will be, per omnia saecula saecularum.

You, on the other hand, do not exist when I do not think of you. I know this because I spent several hours today not thinking about you and you didn't exist: QED. Or, more formally:

I have no recollection of nonexistence.
No nonexistence means I have always existed.
∴ I am eternal.

I am eternal.
You came to my attention only a few years ago.
∴ You are not eternal.

You are not eternal.
I am eternal.
∴ You are my creation.

As I said earlier, I am benevolent and require no thanks, no adoration, no sacrifices -- only your acknowledgement of my eternity and that you are my creation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 06:36 PM

Yeah, right. I post the weather forecast and pretty much gloat about the unreal beautiful weather for this time of year and a few hours later the fuckers issue a weather alert with... snow and we don't know how much yet but it'll be enough to piss you off at the minimum. Me and my big mouth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 05:32 PM

I never thought I'd see three figments of perfervid imagining planning hits on each other--Chongo, Chinga and Rapparree. I get nervous when my voluntary mental mockups start taking independent action. It makes me feel like I have to write it all down!l


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 03:17 PM

If he doubles it so will I. But that's for others -- for dear Chongx I'll arrange the cannon salute for free. I figure I'll be able to deduct the expense as a service to the public good.

Wait! Good news! Chinga just called and said she'll cover the cost!


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