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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 05 Jan 09 - 11:04 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 09 - 10:09 PM
Amos 05 Jan 09 - 08:42 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jan 09 - 06:33 PM
Donuel 05 Jan 09 - 06:22 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 09 - 05:12 PM
Acme 05 Jan 09 - 04:02 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 09 - 03:05 PM
Amos 05 Jan 09 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 09 - 01:49 PM
Amos 05 Jan 09 - 01:41 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 09 - 01:30 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jan 09 - 12:10 PM
Amos 05 Jan 09 - 11:48 AM
Amos 05 Jan 09 - 10:24 AM
Rapparee 05 Jan 09 - 08:58 AM
Acme 05 Jan 09 - 01:12 AM
Rapparee 04 Jan 09 - 11:38 PM
Amos 04 Jan 09 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 09 - 09:43 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 09 - 09:42 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 09 - 09:38 PM
Amos 04 Jan 09 - 09:32 PM
Donuel 04 Jan 09 - 07:30 PM
Donuel 04 Jan 09 - 07:28 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 09 - 05:32 PM
Amos 04 Jan 09 - 05:24 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 09 - 03:13 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 09 - 03:07 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 09 - 02:18 PM
Amos 04 Jan 09 - 01:55 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 09 - 01:43 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 09 - 01:40 PM
Amos 04 Jan 09 - 01:36 PM
Amos 04 Jan 09 - 01:17 PM
Acme 04 Jan 09 - 12:50 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 09 - 12:25 PM
Amos 04 Jan 09 - 12:19 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 09 - 11:45 AM
Rapparee 04 Jan 09 - 10:50 AM
Acme 04 Jan 09 - 02:20 AM
Janie 04 Jan 09 - 01:52 AM
Acme 04 Jan 09 - 01:05 AM
Amos 03 Jan 09 - 10:20 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 09 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 09 - 06:34 PM
Acme 03 Jan 09 - 06:06 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 09 - 05:03 PM
Amos 03 Jan 09 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 09 - 11:20 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 11:04 PM

Umbrage, man. It's what they make umbrellas out of.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 10:09 PM

Eh? What? I've got doodoo in my ears.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 08:42 PM

But I haven't taken umbrage at all!! I left all the umbrage sitting on top of Rapaire's doodoohead.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 06:33 PM

If I found their umbrage on my porch, I'd call up the toxic materials disposal squad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 06:22 PM

The part of our brain that we don't know we use are the neural layers at our solar plexus. It is about 20% of our neurons that control the organic part of our digestion and such however we all know the feeling in the pit of our stomach that signals really important things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 05:12 PM

Eh? You'll have to speak up, sonny.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 04:02 PM

MOM says you two can take your umbrage and your dictionaries out on the porch to play. She wants to clear out the house in case someone important comes by, like Janie or Bunn or one of our other long-lost MOABites.

I suspect it is a case of "familiarity breeds contempt" as far as you guys are concerned. But not me--she didn't kick me out of the house. (Nope. I'm too smart for that, I hid in the sun room, hunkered down with a novel when she came through, so she didn't notice me).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 03:05 PM

Eh? What say?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 02:28 PM

Never mind. IT's not worth the trouble of yelling in print!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 01:49 PM

What say, sonny?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 01:41 PM

You are quite capable of resembling something you are not; you have shown us this time and time again. Your protest against anility on these grounds is therefore not acceptable. You may find other grounds with which to lodge it, I'm sure....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 01:30 PM

...anility...

of or resembling a doddering old woman

Apart from the wrong sex there are several other problems with this description of me, but I shan't go into them here.

What intrigues me is that the Latin word "anus" means "old woman" -- if I were female I'm take umbrage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 12:10 PM

Heh! Heh! (laughing in my sleeve here)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 11:48 AM

Actually, , Rapaire, I withdraw my derisive laughter out of necessary respect for the self-evident senescence, the gifted anility, and hoary caducity, of the author of your post.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 10:24 AM

MWahahahaha!! Amd capable of reversing the entire recession with three well-placed executive decisions.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 08:58 AM

No, it makes me extraordinarily patient, intelligent, good looking, witty, caring, wise, merciful, clean, brave, reverent, loyal, responsible, thrifty, knowledgeable, and in general, imbued with all god-like virtues.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 01:12 AM

Does that make you a bellwether, Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 11:38 PM

No, I'm way out to the right on the ol' bell curve. No way I'm mean or even median.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 09:55 PM

What Rapaire is saying, LH, is that in his case, the very largest per centage of the brain is occupied by only one part (the selfhood loop) which he of course uses non-stop.

But he is by no means average. Why, for all his bluffing, the truth is he isn't even mean.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 09:43 PM

Only in your case. And maybe that of Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 09:42 PM

I wasn't talking so much about parts of the brain that aren't used as I was about percentage of the brain that isn't used. There's a difference, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 09:38 PM

That bit about not using all of our brains is some of the finest BS ever perpetrated on an unknowing public.

Which parts DON'T we use? The part that controls breathing? Heart action? Vision? Imagination? Fight/flight? Cognition? Granted, we're built with spare capacity but the folks who study the brain are finding we can rebuild damaged or even destroyed neural pathways in much the same way we did as infants.

At least, I can say that about ME. As for Amos, LH and others, well....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 09:32 PM

I think it makes you orgiastic, cognitively speaking.

Yet as Apple trees, apple and Earths, earthlings... the Universe universes in a multiversal family of universes in which some are more self aware or consious than others.


WheeeeOOO, Donuel. You sure done got a knack fer gettin' a thing said.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 07:30 PM

Does that make me mechanistic?
I think it makes me organic :I


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 07:28 PM

I see an organic structure within the observable Universe.
Dark matter even seems to act like a collagen framework for the bright universe to cling to.

Or as others say, the bright universe is like christmas lights to dark matter's wires and clips.

It feels and looks (if I may coin a word) neuronal.

I know this anthropormorphic view is tempting but fraught with gross errors of oversimplicity. Yet as Apple trees, apple and Earths, earthlings... the Universe universes in a multiversal family of universes in which some are more self aware or consious than others.


Or as others say "really great sci fi shit"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 05:32 PM

Perhaps. ;-) I put it in mainly to appease the scientifically-minded types, wedded as they are to focusing on the mechanism rather than the broadcast message that passes through it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 05:24 PM

Well, I think you have brilliantly articulated a rare piece of self-evidence, LH.

I'm like, "Yahhhh...and.....".

But it is well writ, well spoke, and as for the last bit about brains, just slightly self-contradictory.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 03:13 PM

Hey, Amos, here's a thought I posted on another thread:

I don't envision a Universe that is divided into "God" and "not-God", because that just doesn't make sense to me. I think that all of it is God.

I don't think God's "over there somewhere" (at a distance) either. I think God is simultaneously existing everywhere. That would be both outside and within oneself. Such a God, needless to say, is not confined within just one visible figure or manifestation.

The only possible means of separation from such a God is simply a lack of awareness on one's own part...and that is the normal human condition: a lack of awareness (to one extent or another). A fully enlightened human is simply a human who has reached full awareness.

Science has determined that we use only a small percentage of our total brain capacity. What would happen if we used all of it? We would, I think, become extraordinary beings, and many very interesting changes would occur.


So, whaddya think?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 03:07 PM

I'm back! Well, I didn't find out much. Just got some really strange looks from the people I asked. But the chili was good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 02:18 PM

Hospitalized after being ruptured in the rapture of recognizing the remarkableness of Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 01:55 PM

Startling?


Unlikely.


Hey Mom!! I'm gonna ebug a DVD set u[p for Captain Morse and then finish a difficult chapter.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 01:43 PM

Okay. I'm decided I'm gonna go out to the coffee shop, have some chili, and ask if anyone there has seen me.

I'll report back in awhile and let you all know the latest startling developments.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 01:40 PM

Yes. LOL! It could be a sign of advancing dementia. Split personality. Womenopause.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 01:36 PM

There is something vaguely grating about Little Hawk insisting that "we" must get to the bottom of a mystery he presents about himself. It is a subtle instance of what James Thurber called "The container within the thing contained".

Perhaps the right answer is "It's all bottom--mark the spot!"



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 01:17 PM

Fed up? Born-again? Come to his senses? Reformed?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 12:50 PM

Ooooo! Do you think Little Hawk is in love?

Is Winona in town?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 12:25 PM

Perhaps he is ill? Depressed? In love? Dead?

We must get to the bottom of this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 12:19 PM

Walk-in Blankout.

(Actually that's a good name for a character in a Mudcat Fiction thread, Walkin Blankout.)

It is the form of amnesia that occurs when the body is temporarily occupied by some other being.

No-one has ever identified and labeled it before this.

Please cite with due credit, especially Rapaire.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 11:45 AM

Why hasn't Little Hawk been posting here lately?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 10:50 AM

Okaaaaaaaaaay....

"Quick, write that down! It's a better name than Irving."

"Middle lamb, you've had a dizzy bey."

"Sorry, I'm afraid it will take jacks or better to open."

"Okay, now where's that Eskimo I'm supposed to wrassle?"

"Now can I have my dog back?"

"Right nut go UMGH! Left nut go UMGH! Rubber go UMGH! Right nut go KAPOW!"

"Just give me about ten yards of that fence."

"Well, no wonder! Crisco is shortening!"

"That's all right, Preacher. It's my leg you've been feeling."

"Your technique was fine, but the next time try it on a cow."

"Brace yourself, Harry."

"In a 1947 Kaiser?!?!?!?"

"Look, lady, I don't care WHO you know."

"I came home because I got dam sick."

"Me and Ma mortgaged the farm and sold the herd so you could git four years of college and you still say 'ain't'!"

"George, I think it's pronounced 'keesh'."

"Damn kid had it under his coat."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 02:20 AM

Good to hear from you, Janie! How's the new house and yard over the winter?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 01:52 AM

Hi Mom and Sibs,

Just bumbling in without doing one thing to catch up or join the "flow."

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

Just got home from a nice trip to New York where we would have stayed longer and seen more of both the city and Long Island, but bad weather ran us off a day early and I have the prettiest, smartest, jolliest 7 month old great niece ever was and since we had to leave NY early we spent a day in Baltimore where we got to see what the back of other people's heads look like while they crowd around aquarium displays, and also got to see 4 bald eagles along the Susquehanna about three miles from dearly beloved Camp Ramblewood, and also took a quick tour of historic Petersburg, VA, and home in time this afternoon to actually unpack and do laundry, and watch a very young Mel Gibson in Gallipoli.

Whassup?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 01:05 AM

Good lines, Amos!

Blackbear Teach. There's a story there, I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 09 - 10:20 PM

Maynard was the I/C of the mission that laid Edward Teach low--not his cousin Blackbear Teach, who was a fur trader up in the Colorado Rockies at the time.

Rapaire, your very names strike terror in the heart of uninhabited places.

To save space, here are a few punch lines. You may tailor the back stories to fit your own perfervid imaginings:

"You should never change streams in the middle of a horse."
"People who live in grass houses shouldn't steal thrones."
"Absinthe made thee, Hargrove Fonda...".
"I wanted to learn if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother...".

and of course the ultimate punch line:

"Goodness no...he wasn't that shaggy."

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 09 - 09:39 PM

That should have been "Blackbeard", not "Blackbear". As far as I know there was never a pirate called "Blackbear", although the semi-fearsome "Bleakbeard" spread terror among several uninhabited islands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 09 - 06:34 PM

I think it worthy of note that on January 3, 1719, Lt. Maynard of the Royal Navy sailed into the port for Williamsburg, VA with the head of Edward "Blackbear" Teach slung under the bowprit of his ship.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jan 09 - 06:06 PM

Sorry I was away so long, MOM, and you had to listen to so much more of this doggerel. The modedm died again and I had to run new wires to the modem from up in the attic and found my contractor took a little shortcut when he put in the cables--he ran them sideways through a stud down near the junction box.

I'll repair the hole in the wall later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 09 - 05:03 PM

I was at the University with British chap named Andrew Tesing-Ryde. His family was some sort of minor nobility, but like so many others now had only dreams of past glory. Andy (who had gone to someplace like Oxbridge or Camford for his AB) was proud of his family's history, of course (one of his great-grandmothers had some connection with Edward V) but he also knew that he had to do his own part to continue the Family Honour. He was a good student, studying physical chemistry and that's NOT an easy road by any means. But Andy seemed to slip more and more into The Past, even going so far as to have his family coat of arms tattooed on his left shoulder.

You can imagine my dismay when one day I read that he'd been arrested for molesting women in the University Park! Apparently he'd snapped and ran through the Park kissing every woman he saw, including the policewoman who'd arrested him.

At the hearing he wore the blazer with his family's coat of arms on the pocket and when the judge asked him what in the heck he thought he was doing, Andy simply replied, "Your honour, A. Tesing-Ryde sifts all lips."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 09 - 12:19 PM

Wal, one time this crazy dream came to me....

Seems we had kidnapped an Italian terrorist and were locking him up in a stone hut high in the mountains, to convince him to talk, see. He had no sense of humor. We tried hot splinters, threats to his children, waterboarding, everything. He wouldn't talk. He told us how sorry we would be for messing with him when his buddies back in Italy found out who had snatched him. So, we decided to give him some time in solitary in this stone cabin why high up in the Rockies. We locked him in there with nothing but a Japanese transistor radio, some food and water. Didn't tell him we aimed to come back either.

So we were making our way down the long winding dirt trail back toward civilization. The Sergeant suddenly slapped his forehead and said we had to go back. Said we shouldn't have left him with that cheap transistor radio. What if he had some kind of inspiration and managed to reverse-engineer it as a transmitter to tap out code to alert his SIcilian friends to us? It could mean real trouble!

I said, "Don't worry about it, Fred. He's not the type to have an inspiration. You know perfectly well that a stony Roman kindles no Morse."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 09 - 11:20 AM

Sheriff Lorin Neilson, sheriff of Bannock County, and some of his deputies finally caught the guy who'd stolen one of the County Commissioners horses last week. The horse, which was a much-loved roan, was used by the Commish when he was a full-time rancher and more recently was used to teach his grandkids to ride. They were darned glad to get the horse back but were appalled to learn that the thief had been trying to use the horse to steal other horses. Sheriff Neilson is said to have comforted the Commish by reminding him that "a stolen roan gathers no horse."


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