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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 05 Nov 08 - 08:32 PM
Amos 05 Nov 08 - 06:01 PM
Little Hawk 05 Nov 08 - 05:13 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 08 - 04:31 PM
MMario 05 Nov 08 - 03:43 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 08 - 03:18 PM
Amos 05 Nov 08 - 10:30 AM
Acme 05 Nov 08 - 10:05 AM
Rapparee 05 Nov 08 - 08:19 AM
Little Hawk 05 Nov 08 - 01:47 AM
Amos 05 Nov 08 - 01:04 AM
Acme 04 Nov 08 - 11:35 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 08 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 08 - 05:13 PM
Amos 04 Nov 08 - 05:09 PM
Little Hawk 04 Nov 08 - 03:57 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 08 - 03:29 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 08 - 02:41 PM
Little Hawk 04 Nov 08 - 01:56 PM
Acme 04 Nov 08 - 01:50 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 08 - 01:48 PM
Amos 04 Nov 08 - 01:27 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 08 - 12:46 PM
Amos 04 Nov 08 - 12:28 PM
Little Hawk 04 Nov 08 - 12:21 PM
Amos 04 Nov 08 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 08 - 11:59 AM
Rapparee 04 Nov 08 - 11:55 AM
Amos 04 Nov 08 - 11:52 AM
Rapparee 04 Nov 08 - 11:46 AM
Amos 04 Nov 08 - 10:58 AM
Acme 04 Nov 08 - 09:43 AM
Rapparee 04 Nov 08 - 08:14 AM
Acme 04 Nov 08 - 12:07 AM
Little Hawk 03 Nov 08 - 10:48 PM
Amos 03 Nov 08 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 08 - 09:35 PM
Amos 03 Nov 08 - 08:04 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 08 - 06:56 PM
Amos 03 Nov 08 - 06:49 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 08 - 06:43 PM
Little Hawk 03 Nov 08 - 06:42 PM
Amos 03 Nov 08 - 06:40 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 08 - 06:22 PM
Little Hawk 03 Nov 08 - 06:12 PM
Amos 03 Nov 08 - 06:09 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 08 - 06:05 PM
Little Hawk 03 Nov 08 - 05:57 PM
Amos 03 Nov 08 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 08 - 05:26 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 08:32 PM

I read it also. It was perfect, there was nothing more to add. So I didn't. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 06:01 PM

You're wrong, sir. I read it scrupulously, and then clicked the little close button.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 05:13 PM

You should have titled it "My confession and complete apology". The site would have probably crashed when fifty different people all tried simultaneously to open your thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 04:31 PM

In the BS section, of course. I believe it's entitled "My Concession Speech."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 03:43 PM

where did you post it, Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 03:18 PM

Only Ebbie has read my concession speech.

I think I'll jump in the river and sprain my ankles, only it's too chilly out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 10:30 AM

A two to one majority is indeed a mandate. A two-point-one majority is not.

I am deeply moved by the fact that Obama's election was a landslide in electoral terms, even though it was not in popular terms. In World Terms, no question.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 10:05 AM

Someone needs to nudge Dubya and point out that THIS is what the word "Mandate" applies to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 08:19 AM

I just posted my concession speech.

Sorry, Mom. I guess a campaign warchest of USD 2.50 and a partially used phone card don't go as far as it used to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 01:47 AM

WhOOO-HOOO!!!!!!!!!!   What a celebration! Even Chongo and his buddies at the APP are celebrating, even though they pulled in less than half a percent of the vote. You know why? They know they can work with this new administration. Banana Dacquiris all around!

We Canadians are mostly very happy about it too, I can assure you, for much the same reason.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 01:04 AM

Congratulations to the United States; not the blue or the red states, but the United States.

Tonight has marked the beginning of an epoch, and the watershed of a generation.

I am blown away at what has occurred in American history before my very eyes.

Thank you, America.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 11:35 PM

Whew!

I think the voles are out dancing in the garden tonight. I'll check when I go pull the Obama sign from the yard. In case a disappointed Texas neighbor decides to take it out on my sign or yard.

Have another glass of wine!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 09:55 PM

Get a gas-tight bag filled with helium and tie it to their little tails. They will float away on your beautiful voleloon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 05:13 PM

To solve a vole infestation you must think volistically and consider the vole problem. Grasp the gestalt and you will grasp the vole thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 05:09 PM

I am sure that with a little light-fingered skullduggery our own ignoble sibling Rapaire can provide you with a Have-a-Rapaire-trap, much cheaper. He knows where to get such things wholesale, by lifting them without credit from others.

You can him to provide you with a Podcast of his noble self reciting his wonderful composition, "The Jam at Gerry's Rocks", or perhaps his eternal poem, "Ozymandias", or his incomparable "RIding Through the Woods on a Snowy Evening".

That will bore the voles to death. Better still let him sing his memorable Italian song to them from an iPod set to Repeat:

"VOOOOOLE!   ARAY!!!   WOAHOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!

VOLE, AREZ! WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH!!!!!!"


They will flee, I guarantee it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 03:57 PM

Ha!

Sue me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 03:29 PM

The next number is Stilly's, and anyone else who takes it is a cad and a poltroon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 02:41 PM

If they're not one of the endangered species let the dogs have at them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 01:56 PM

Ah, the joy of universal concurrence... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 01:50 PM

I saw an interesting ballet about Joaquin Murietta a couple of years ago. Well done.

These latest Hart-attacks remind me--I need to decide what to do about voles in the front yard. Get a have-a-heart trap and release them miles away, or let the dogs have a go at the compost. They love hunting out critters like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 01:48 PM

He still rides. You can see him on the nights of the full moon, riding his stallion El Caballo Negro, Manuel Garcia at his side, holding aloft the head of Captain Love as his powerful horse rear up and the rider shouts, "Muerto a todos!" and throws the grisly head at the viewer....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 01:27 PM

AH, the Californian's own Robino Hoodo, the terror of Monterey.

He never died, you know.

They said it was his head, in the glass jar on display, pickled in brandy. But his sister knew better.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 12:46 PM

Joaquin Miller was a good ol' Hoosier boy from the banks of the Wabash far away.

Now, Joaquin Muiretta....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 12:28 PM

So, what, Rapaire? Harte wasn't rich enough soil for you to steal, so you went and lifted Joaquin Miller, too?

You think Texans will treat you any kindlier than the Californios whent hey catch up with you?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 12:21 PM

Goodness sakes! What melodrama.

While the defence of the Alamo was indeed very courageous and they inflicted great numbers of casualties on the Mexicans...there is no need to call the one man who left a "coward". He was a man with a family, and he showed very good judgement (plus a good deal of courage) in attempting to slip out through the Mexican encirclement...not an easy thing to do. He might very well have died in the attempt (they would certainly have killed him if they caught him), but he made it.

He was not a coward. Like all the others at the fortress he was offered a clear and honorable choice by Travis:

1. stay and face certain death in a battle that cannot be won
2. or slip out now while you still can and take your chances with the Mexicans

Either choice was entirely honorable, and that's why Travis offered those 2 choices. To stay was bravado...or it was defiance...or it was sheer fatalism...or it was simply an unwillingness to show any form of supposed weakness before the others.

I put it to you that that is itself a common form of cowardice. It's the fear of what the others may think! That was one of the things that got a lot of young Japanese soldiers killed uselessly and unnecessarily in WWII. Don't you think that man's family were glad he got out alive to return to them? Would they rather he died under the Mexican bayonets? I don't think so, unless they were complete idiots.

There is no reason to disparage either the man who left or the men who stayed. They both took an honorable choice, and they both faced the frightening consequences. There was no easy way out of that situation, because Santa Ana had the place surrounded, and he had sworn to kill all its occupants.

As for the battle, it did not rage all day and all night fer Chrissake. The final assault came by surprise in the wee hours of the morning before dawn, and it was over by the time the sun was up. It was a relatively brief, desperate fight in the pre-dawn darkness. The Texicans did indeed inflict very heavy losses on the Mexicans...and both sides showed tremendous courage in the battle. The Mexicans took very heavy losses for two reasons:

1. They were assaulting a fortified position with massed infantry...which makes a superb target for rifles and cannons.
2. Many of the Texicans were quite experienced sharpshooters (people with hunting experience) and they were armed with good long distance rifles. This enabled them to kill a lot of Mexicans before the walls were scaled.

Santa Ana was reckless with his men. He didn't need to expose them in that fashion. He could have simply besieged the fort and starved it out and negotiated a surrender, but he was an impatient and arrogant man....and he obviously didn't really give a damn about the lives of his own soldiers. His autocratic incompetence throughout the campaign was what secured the Texan victory.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 12:03 PM

Oh, yeah. That's like asking Dick CHeney what one should think of Barack Obama. Or maybe, more like asking Michelle Obama her opinion of Donald Rumsfeld. OR maybe....hell with it, anyway--Mister Twain obviously felt threatened by Mister Harte way back when.

And I do not need to point out that is only in sinning against a man that you come up with hypercritical attitudes about him, in order to lessen your own view of your own offense.

Thus, in your guilt at lifting Mister Harte's work without crediting it to him, you hve gone and dug up all the most currilous condemnations of him you could find. But it is not rationalization and justification that will enable you to sleep again at night, Rapaire. It is honesty.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 11:59 AM

The Defence Of The Alamo

Santa Ana came storming, as a storm might come;
   There was rumble of cannon; there was rattle of blade;
There was cavalry, infantry, bugle and drum?
   Full seven thousand in pomp and parade.
The chivalry, flower of Mexico;
And a gaunt two hundred in the Alamo!

And thirty lay sick, and some were shot through;
   For the siege had been bitter, and bloody, and long.
"Surrender, or die!"?"Men, what will you do?"
   And Travis, great Travis, drew sword, quick and strong;
Drew a line at his feet. . . . "Will you come" Will you go?
I die with my wounded, in the Alamo."

Then Bowie gasped, "Lead me over that line!"
   Then Crockett, one hand to the sick, one hand to his gun,
Crossed with him; then never a word or a sign
   Till all, sick or well, all, all save but one,
One man. Then a woman stepped, praying, and slow
Across; to die at her post in the Alamo.

Then that one coward fled, in the night, in that night
   When all men silently prayed and thought
Of home; of to-morrow; of God and the right,
   Till dawn; and with dawn came Travis's cannon-shot,
In answer to insolent Mexico,
From the old bell-tower of the Alamo.

Then came Santa Ana; a crescent of flame!
   Then the red escalade; then the fight hand to hand;
Such an unequal fight as never had name
   Since the Persian hordes butchered that doomed Spartan band.
All day?all day and all night; and the morning? so slow,
Through the battle smoke mantling the Alamo.

Now silence! Such silence! Two thousand lay dead
   In a crescent outside! And within? Not a breath
Save the gasp of a woman, with gory gashed head,
   All alone, all alone there, waiting for death;
And she but a nurse. Yet when shall we know
Another like this of the Alamo?

Shout "Victory, victory, victory ho!"
   I say 'tis not always to the hosts that win!
I say that the victory, high or low,
   Is given the hero who grapples with sin,
Or legion or single; just asking to know
When duty fronts death in his Alamo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 11:55 AM

THIS is Mark Twain on Bret Harte:

In the early days I liked Bret Harte and so did the others, but by and by I got over it; so also did the others. He couldn't keep a friend permanently. He was bad, distinctly bad; he had no feeling and he had no conscience.
- Mark Twain's Autobiography

Harte is a liar, a thief, a swindler, a snob, a sot, a sponge, a coward, a Jeremy Diddler, he is brim full of treachery, and he conceals his Jewish birth as if he considered it a disgrace.
- Letter to W. D. Howells, 6/1878

Harte, in a mild and colorless way, was that kind of man--that is to say, he was a man without a country; no, not man--man is too strong a term; he was an invertebrate without a country. He hadn't any more passion for his country than an oyster has for its bed; in fact not so much and I apologize to the oyster.
- Mark Twain's Autobiography

I detest him, because I think his work is 'shoddy.' His forte is pathos but there should be no pathos which does not come out of a man's heart. He has no heart, except his name, and I consider he has produced nothing that is genuine. He is artificial.
- interview in Sydney Australia Argus, 9/17/1895


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 11:52 AM

Um...Rapaire...ya know I love you like a long-forgotten brother, but seems to me, I'm jes' saying, that when you step afoul of the law, and are surrounded by dusty, pissed-off Californios with WInchesters and a hemp rope, who are already annoyed with you for dragging them away from their claims in order to hunt you down....well, it just strikes me the thing to do is not wave your fist in sultry defiance, but to step up to your errors and admit them like a man, apologizxe and promise to sin no more. I am sure they'd rather save the cost of the rope, as they could use it for hauling up ore-cars or dragging around their milling parts.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 11:46 AM

A POEM
By Black Bart,
the Po8

I've labored long and hard for gold
For honor and for riches
But on my corns too long you've trod
You fine-haired sons-of-bitches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 10:58 AM

Oh, come Californians, now rise up and start
With your guns by your side, in the pre-dawning dark
There's a hanging to do, men, with fire and art,
For Rapaire has been stealing the lines of Bret Harte!

COme down from the Placer, the North Fork, the Scott,
By the Elk and the Noyo leave your claims and you cots,
And fix up your lariats, and ready your knots
For its time that this poem-rustler learns what is what.

From the far Petaluma, where they skiffle for gold,
The American, Bear Creen, and Stanislaus cold,
Came the wild Californians, both ready and bold
To capture Rapaire, and his fate to unfold.

Well the first to espy him was Buffalo Jake,
And out of his kit his loop he did take,
ANd he laid out Rapaire like a quick-frozen hake,
On the cold muddy banks of the Tulare Lake.

Now the varmint was hollering, bout his rights in the law,
When Steamboat Slim gave him a clip to the jaw,
"WHen you lift from Brett Harte, sir, yo're outside the law!"
And outlaws are prime game for hanging, says Maw."

And there's where we leave them, in a terrible twist
The rowdy hard-rock men, and the pale plagiarist,
And if there's a moral here, it's probably this--
Don't steasl from Brett Harte, cuz the boys will get pissed.

Tuolumne Tom Baker
"The Wild Rhymes of the Californians"
Stockton, 1887


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 09:43 AM

Did each of you take MOM to early voting? You know what they say--vote early and often.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 08:14 AM

California Madrigal

On The Approach Of Spring

Oh, come, my beloved, from thy winter abode,
From thy home on the Yuba, thy ranch overflowed;
For the waters have fallen, the winter has fled,
And the river once more has returned to its bed.

Oh, mark how the spring in its beauty is near!
How the fences and tules once more reappear!
How soft lies the mud on the banks of yon slough
By the hole in the levee the waters broke through!

All nature, dear Chloris, is blooming to greet
The glance of your eye and the tread of your feet;
For the trails are all open, the roads are all free,
And the highwayman's whistle is heard on the lea.

Again swings the lash on the high mountain trail,
And the pipe of the packer is scenting the gale;
The oath and the jest ringing high o'er the plain,
Where the smut is not always confined to the grain.

Once more glares the sunlight on awning and roof,
Once more the red clay's pulverized by the hoof,
Once more the dust powders the "outsides" with red,
Once more at the station the whiskey is spread.

Then fly with me, love, ere the summer's begun,
And the mercury mounts to one hundred and one;
Ere the grass now so green shall be withered and sear,
In the spring that obtains but one month in the year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 12:07 AM

I learned about Guest through his parody first.

Sinclair Lewis' T. Cholmondeley Frink, in Babbitt, "who was not only the author of "Poemulation," which, syndicated daily in sixty-seven leading newspapers, gave him one of the largest audiences of any poet in the world, but also an optimistic lecturer and the creator of "Ads that Add." Despite the searching philosophy and high morality of his verses, they were humorous and easily understood by any child of twelve; and it added a neat air of pleasantry to them that they were set not as verse but as prose. Mr. Frink was known from Coast to Coast as 'Chum.'"


Okay. Back to the BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 10:48 PM

You swan, Amos?

Very well. I'll see your swan and raise you two ducks and an albatros.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 10:27 PM

YEah, yeah. Shovel it like there's no tomorrow, but don't forget, as ye reap, so ye shall sow.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 09:35 PM

Granny
        
Granny's come to our house,
And ho! my lawzy-daisy!
All the childern round the place
Is ist a-runnin' crazy!
Fetched a cake fer little Jake,
And fetched a pie fer Nanny,
And fetched a pear fer all the pack
That runs to kiss their Granny!

Lucy Ellen's in her lap,
And Wade and Silas Walker
Both's a-ridin' on her foot,
And 'Pollos on the rocker;
And Marthy's twins, from Aunt Marinn's,
And little Orphant Annie,
All's a-eatin' gingerbread
And giggle-un at Granny!

Tells us all the fairy tales
Ever thought er wundered --
And 'bundance o' other stories --
Bet she knows a hunderd! --
Bob's the one fer "Whittington,"
And "Golden Locks" fer Fanny!
Hear 'em laugh and clap their hands,
Listenin' at Granny!

"Jack the Giant-Killer" 's good;
And "Bean-Stalk" 's another! --
So's the one of "Cinderell'"
And her old godmother; --
That-un's best of all the rest --
Bestest one of any, --
Where the mices scampers home
Like we runs to Granny!

Granny's come to our house,
Ho! my lawzy-daisy!
All the childern round the place
Is ist a-runnin' crazy!
Fetched a cake fer little Jake,
And fetched a pie fer Nanny,
And fetched a pear fer all the pack
That runs to kiss their Granny!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 08:04 PM

Well, Guest was right up there with Julia and McGonagle. But none of them could compare with Aloysius Tabernacle Drone.

I'll try to dig up one of his deathless sonnets for you in a bit.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 06:56 PM

Amos, as it is said on the album "At the Gate of Horn":

"It takes o' heap o' heapin'
To make a heap o' heap."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 06:49 PM

Well, I see the "Mediocrity for Mom!" campaign is in full swing. I swan, If Keats, Yeats, Dylan Thomas and Bily the Shake all showed up and posted here in their very best style, you two would ignore it and find something by Edgar Guest or Aloysius Tabernacle Drone.

"It Takes A Heap of Livin...


It takes a heap o' livin' in a house t' make it home,
A heap o' sun an' shadder, an' ye sometimes have t' roam
Afore ye really 'preciate the things ye lef' behind
An' hunger fer 'em somehow, with 'em allus on yer mind.
It don't make any differunce how rich ye get t' be,
How much yer chairs an' tables cost, how great yer luxury;
It ain't home t' ye, though it be the palace of a king,
Until somehow yer soul is sort o' wrapped round everything...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 06:43 PM

I'm certain that freds would be generous and share your DNA. So if I were you, I wouldn't talk: you're certainly not rushing out to share it with them, are you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 06:42 PM

That is an impressive work, leaving really nothing further that could be said about the matter...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 06:40 PM

Obviously, this piece is sheer adulterated drivel. For one thing, who ever heard of a generous fred?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 06:22 PM

I have found these words to make you weep by the Immortal McGonagall:

The Death of Fred Marsden, the American Playwright

A pathetic tragedy I will relate,
Concerning poor Fred. Marsden's fate,
Who suffocated himself by the fumes of gas,
On the 18th of May, and in the year of 1888, alas!

Fred. Marsden was a playwright, the theatrical world knows,
And was highly esteemed by the people, and had very few foes;
And in New York, in his bedroom, he took his life away,
And was found by his servant William in his bedroom where he lay.

The manner in which he took his life : first he locked the door,
Then closed down the window, and a sheet to shreds he tore
And then stopped the keyholes and chinks through which air might come,
Then turned on the single gas-burner, and soon the deed was done.

About seven o'clock in the evening he bade his wife good-night,
And she left him, smoking, in his room, thinking all was right,
But when morning came his daughter said she smelled gas,
Then William, his servant, called loudly on him, but no answer, alas!

Then suspicion flashed across William's brain, and he broke open the door,
Then soon the family were in a state of uproar,
For the room was full of gas, and Mr Marsden quite dead,
And a more kind-hearted father never ate of the world's bread.

And by his kindness he spoiled his only child,
His pretty daughter Blanche, which made him wild;
For some time he thought her an angel, she was so very civil,
But she dishonoured herself, and proved herself a devil.

Her father idolised her, and on her spared no expense,
And the kind-hearted father gave her too much indulgence,
Because evening parties and receptions were got up for her sake,
Besides, he bought her a steam yacht to sail on Schroon Lake.

His means he lavished upon his home and his wife,
And he loved his wife and daughter as dear as his life;
But Miss Blanche turned to folly, and wrecked their home through strife,
And through Miss Marsden's folly her father took his life.

She wanted to ride, and her father bought her a horse,
And by giving her such indulgences, in morals she grew worse;
And by her immoral actions she broke her father's heart;
And, in my opinion, she has acted a very ungrateful part.

At last she fled from her father's house, which made him mourn,
Then the crazy father went after her and begged her to return,
But she tore her father's beard, and about the face beat him,
Then fled to her companions in evil, and thought it no sin.

Then her father sent her one hundred dollars, and found her again,
And he requested her to come home, but it was all in vain;
For his cruel daughter swore at him without any dread,
And, alas! next morning, he was found dead in his bed.

And soon theatrical circles were shocked to learn,
Of the sudden death of genial Fred Marsden,
Whose house had been famous for its hospitality,
To artists, litterateurs, and critics of high and low degree.

And now dear Mrs Marsden is left alone to mourn
The loss of her loving husband, whom to her will ne'er return;
But I hope God will be kind to her in her bereavement,
And open her daughter's eyes, and make her repent

For being the cause of her father's death, the generous Fred,
Who oft poor artists and mendicants has fed;
But, alas! his bounties they will never receive more,
Therefore poor artists and mendicants will his loss deplore.

Therefore, all ye kind parents of high and low degree,
I pray ye all, be advised by me,
And never pamper your children in any way,
Nor idolise them, for they are apt to go astray,

And treat ye, like pretty Blanche Marsden,
Who by her folly has been the death of one of the finest men;
So all kind parents, be warned by me,
And remember always this sad Tragedy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 06:12 PM

Yea, verily, and forsooth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 06:09 PM

An' it were so, indeed they would, recognizing the mind and heart of their very brother.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 06:05 PM

Oh but that brings tears to my eyes! Even the very stones would weep if they could but read that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 05:57 PM

From the pen of Julia A. Moore, I give you...

William Upson

It will relieve his mother's heart,
That her son is laid in our grave yard;
Now she knows that his grave is near,
She will not shed so many tears.

She knows not that it was her son,
His coffin could not be opened ?
It might be some one in his place,
For she could not see his noble face.

He enrolled in eighteen sixty-three,
The next day after Christmas eve;
He died in eighteen sixty-four,
Twenty-third of March, as I was told.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 05:34 PM

Yeah, I know, I know, I'm an elitist, just like Obama, some brainy ivory-tower guy who throws big words around.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 05:26 PM

I'm not!

Amos is a human, Amos is a human, na na na na nana.


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