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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 19 Jul 08 - 11:27 PM
Amos 19 Jul 08 - 11:04 PM
Amos 19 Jul 08 - 04:28 PM
Amos 19 Jul 08 - 10:52 AM
Acme 19 Jul 08 - 10:47 AM
Acme 19 Jul 08 - 02:05 AM
Rapparee 18 Jul 08 - 06:05 PM
Acme 18 Jul 08 - 04:54 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 08 - 04:52 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jul 08 - 03:45 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 08 - 03:40 PM
Acme 18 Jul 08 - 03:38 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 08 - 12:18 PM
Acme 18 Jul 08 - 11:40 AM
Amos 18 Jul 08 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 18 Jul 08 - 09:54 AM
Little Hawk 17 Jul 08 - 11:09 PM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 17 Jul 08 - 09:41 PM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 08:24 PM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 03:11 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jul 08 - 02:55 PM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 02:08 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jul 08 - 01:31 PM
Acme 17 Jul 08 - 01:25 PM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 01:04 PM
Acme 17 Jul 08 - 11:58 AM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 10:21 AM
Rapparee 17 Jul 08 - 08:53 AM
Amos 17 Jul 08 - 12:19 AM
MMario 16 Jul 08 - 02:34 PM
Acme 16 Jul 08 - 01:47 PM
Rapparee 16 Jul 08 - 01:40 PM
Rapparee 16 Jul 08 - 01:39 PM
MMario 16 Jul 08 - 01:36 PM
Amos 16 Jul 08 - 01:07 PM
Acme 16 Jul 08 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 16 Jul 08 - 09:29 AM
MMario 15 Jul 08 - 10:58 PM
MMario 15 Jul 08 - 10:55 PM
Rapparee 15 Jul 08 - 09:58 PM
Amos 15 Jul 08 - 07:37 PM
Amos 15 Jul 08 - 07:17 PM
Acme 15 Jul 08 - 05:06 PM
Rapparee 15 Jul 08 - 04:36 PM
Amos 15 Jul 08 - 03:55 PM
Rapparee 15 Jul 08 - 03:09 PM
Donuel 15 Jul 08 - 02:35 PM
Amos 15 Jul 08 - 12:49 PM
Acme 15 Jul 08 - 12:43 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 11:27 PM

Kapow! Chicken? Is this Kung pao chicken with a kick?

It's hot here, and I won't whine, but I'm tired of it and it is just getting hotter. Low 100s all week coming up, and it was like that last week. And the week before. My yard is a tad parched. I'm working at keeping the shrubs alive, and my veggie garden producing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 11:04 PM

Mom!!!

All the kids are ignoring us. Let's make brownies.

We had a really nice dinner last night with friends -- he's a retired naval aviator and she's a print artist of some definite accomplishments. I made Kapow! Chicken and brown rice. It was delicious.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 04:28 PM

HEy, Mom!! LEmonade is bad for you --it's full of germs. But a little Jack Daniels in the bottom of the glass will purify it nicely.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 10:52 AM

No mater the cost--a duty is a duty...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 10:47 AM

Rise and shine, MOM! It's another hot day in the neighborhood, but you can sit on the porch under the ceiling fan and read your book or knit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 02:05 AM

Poor guy, but I suppose someone has to go look at that scenery this time of year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 06:05 PM

One word, Stilly: lowriders.

And Mom -- I'm off to Boise tomorrow, I'll check in when I get there on Sunday evening if I get a chance. I'll have the laptop with me, 'cause I got meetings Monday and Tuesday. We're taking the long way around, via the Sawtooths, Sun Valley, and places like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 04:54 PM

Duck!!!

Incoming!!!

* * splat * *

*   *   *** * *
|    |    | | |   


Whew. That shit really splashes when you drop a bomb on that New Yorker obnoxious thread. Did MOM get any on her?

Sorry about that. Back to book talk.

We're getting ready to decorate our book trucks for the Info Fair at the beginning of the fall semester. They try to think of new things to get students into the library. Decorated book trucks is the idea this year.

Yeah, I know.

The staff have fun making a mess, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 04:52 PM

No, there's nothing in there that will ever reach critical mass...or even subcritical mass. The sawdust moderator is too efficient. There is a neat squeaky toy in there, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:45 PM

Imagine if that were ever to occur inside George Bush's skull...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:40 PM

If all the books came back at once we wouldn't have a place to put them. The books would reach critical mass and there would be an information explosion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:38 PM

Won't work on me--I haven't checked out any books at your library.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 12:18 PM

Send me your email address and I'll send you a photo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 11:40 AM

Be careful what you say, Amos. If too many materials are returned all at once they won't have enough book trucks to hold them. Pace yourself with those photos.

Start by putting them in the bathroom stalls, don't spread them over the entire building.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 10:15 AM

I hope you got some good photos of all those winsome bookies drawing their beads. It would do so much for collections to post several of them around the library.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 09:54 AM

Yesterday Rapaire took his supervisory staff out to a pistol range and we shot targets. We also discussed various library-related issues, such as the budget, etc. A good time was had by all, except maybe by those people with overdue materials who were used to hold the targets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 11:09 PM

I find it amusing to "ape" Rapaire now and then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 10:34 PM

And that after having to watch LH morph into your persona before your very eyes. Wow, what a man. I know who I can count on to take a hit for Mom, any time Bobez makes it possible.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 09:41 PM

It happened as I was posting to Mom. Naturally, I held onto her and calmed her as the ground shook, the skies darkened, and things generally went to hell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 08:24 PM

Mom:

I hope you weren't hurt in the crash today. I know it shook the ground on which you stand, but it did not hit the house in which we live.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 03:11 PM

Hark!! Little Hawk is transmigrating into Rapaire!! Behold!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 02:55 PM

Whaddya mean "no challenge"? It's not easy to hunker down unseen a few hundred feet away in the bushes with a scope and rifle, and then nail that golf ball dead center with a 30 caliber slug at the last possible instant without hitting the guy who is taking the swing. It demands patience, impeccable accuracy, and perfect timing.

I demand a retraction of your disrespectful comment, Amos. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 02:08 PM

See, that's the modern generation for you--no love of challenge.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 01:31 PM

The trick is to blast the golf ball with a sniper rifle while it's sitting on the tee...but you have to time it to just when the golfer is beginning his swing for the maximum effect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 01:25 PM

I thought they'd take it easy and aim for the balls on the greens. No grass or weeds in the way. Try not to hit the golfers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 01:04 PM

My grandfather had the trick of that. There's a brief pause at the top of the arc, when the climb stops and the fall starts; there's a brief clear instant when the object is relatively motionless--and that's when you hit it.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 11:58 AM

At least he's not doing target practice in his back yard. Those golf balls on the other side of the fence are hard to hit for novice shooters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 10:21 AM

You're a piece of work, Rap, I gotta say. Such panache!! He's about to be picked up to go down the walk with the firing squad, and he chooses to pretty up. Nothing like clean underarms when the shells are flying, what?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 08:53 AM

Well Mom, in about a hour and half they're coming for me. I'll be taken out, the guns will be loaded, and..."Ready! Aim!...."

Yes Mom, this is the day when I will go out to the range with my Supervisors and teach them to shoot targets with .22 pistols. This is, of course, prefatory to practicing so that we can eventually challenge the Top Cops to a shoot-out. But mostly this is an exercise in building their self-confidence, team cohesion, and stuff like that. They're pretty excited about it, since most of them have never handled a pistol in their life. I've had them studying and reviewing safety and stuff for a couple months, and we've even had a class on it here at my house where they got to handle guns and see what they're like. So I'd better go shower, Mom.

Later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:19 AM

Now, you guys, let's not get started on irregularity and Mom's various remedies therefore. I had almost forgotten the taste of cod - liver oil.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 02:34 PM

Good - now we can get mom regular again - she seemed a bit "slow" today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 01:47 PM

You counted correctly. Probably scared everyone away with the threat of nuclear farts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 01:40 PM

None, now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 01:39 PM

One, unless someone else posts before me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 01:36 PM

I've lost count. Is there Three or two left?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 01:07 PM

Wow, man. Tritium triglyceride emanations. Awesome.

Put away your BIC, Rapaire.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 01:00 PM

It might explain some SBDs, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 09:29 AM

No, I never ate it. Ingesting plutonium isn't good for you. It makes your flatus glow in the dark.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 10:58 PM

10 base seven septadecimal?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 10:55 PM

Ate?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 09:58 PM

I once had an atom bomb that looked like a tuba case....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 07:37 PM

Oh mother dear, in ten more posts
We will come to half a K
ANd this one is the 25th!
Along your joyful way.
So we will gather here and there
To make a bit of fuss,
And thank you for the random buzz
Your love has brought to us!

We're glad you're here, we're glad you're well,
We're glad that you're alive;
We've minded you through every Kay,
Soon to be twenty-five.
And though that is a lot of posts
(As e'en fools will allow)
We do not think it is too much--
We need e'en more, somehow.

So let us to you one and all
Raise up a cheery glass,
And pray that we will never see
You fall flat on your ass;
But keeping well, and hale and strong,
Bearing your beaming smile,
We'll carry you along this road
For yet another mile!
So here's to you, with all our love,
We proudly do confess
There's no-one whom we'd rather toast
Than the Mom of all BS!


Sappy Ent Hominid Jr.
Dancing about Architecture
Selfless, Hopeless, Homeless, Goalless, Chicago, 1967


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 07:17 PM

YEah, Donuel--what DID they say?


About your tuba case?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 05:06 PM

So what did they say?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 04:36 PM

"Friends don't let friends underpay friends." -- A. Capone


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 03:55 PM

HEll, we's friends ain't we? WHy should I care if you wanna pack heat?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 03:09 PM

Sure. Remember when you pay me that I'll be armed, 'cause I ain't goin' into SoCal without AT LEAST one automatic weapon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 02:35 PM

I bought a unique tuba case. It was sleek and smooth. It looked aerodynmaic. Even though it was used. It looked like Fat Boy, of the Enola Gay. I filled it with clothes, and painted it grey. I went to the airport and what did they say. They said


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 12:49 PM

...okay, Big Guy, I'll go for the Beverly Wilshire shtick, if you will accept employment as an under-paid illegal-immigrant chauffeur driving my stretch HUMMER around LA on various errands -- coke runs, massage stops, racquetball dates, mansions of the the rich and anonymous, picking up underage dates and assorted strong-arm calls and collections visits you may have to make on my behalf.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 12:43 PM

Someone pass MOM the Pepto Bismol. She's looking a little bilious.


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