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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 23 Jun 08 - 11:41 AM
MMario 23 Jun 08 - 11:37 AM
Amos 23 Jun 08 - 11:34 AM
Rapparee 23 Jun 08 - 11:32 AM
Rapparee 23 Jun 08 - 08:49 AM
Acme 23 Jun 08 - 01:08 AM
Amos 23 Jun 08 - 12:57 AM
Amos 22 Jun 08 - 06:51 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 08 - 05:45 PM
Acme 22 Jun 08 - 04:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Jun 08 - 03:48 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 08 - 03:44 PM
Amos 22 Jun 08 - 03:11 PM
Acme 22 Jun 08 - 12:40 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 08 - 11:55 AM
Amos 22 Jun 08 - 02:12 AM
Acme 22 Jun 08 - 12:34 AM
Rapparee 21 Jun 08 - 10:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jun 08 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 08 - 09:15 PM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 21 Jun 08 - 08:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jun 08 - 06:36 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 08 - 06:21 PM
Amos 21 Jun 08 - 04:33 PM
gnu 21 Jun 08 - 04:05 PM
Acme 21 Jun 08 - 04:02 PM
Amos 21 Jun 08 - 12:22 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 08 - 11:57 AM
Little Hawk 21 Jun 08 - 10:45 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jun 08 - 10:40 AM
MMario 21 Jun 08 - 06:50 AM
Little Hawk 21 Jun 08 - 02:41 AM
Amos 21 Jun 08 - 02:07 AM
Amos 21 Jun 08 - 01:53 AM
Amos 21 Jun 08 - 12:32 AM
Janie 20 Jun 08 - 10:52 PM
Amos 20 Jun 08 - 08:29 PM
Little Hawk 20 Jun 08 - 08:21 PM
MMario 20 Jun 08 - 08:11 PM
Acme 20 Jun 08 - 07:56 PM
Amos 20 Jun 08 - 07:47 PM
Little Hawk 20 Jun 08 - 07:45 PM
Acme 20 Jun 08 - 07:02 PM
Amos 20 Jun 08 - 05:58 PM
Rapparee 20 Jun 08 - 05:47 PM
Acme 20 Jun 08 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 20 Jun 08 - 03:37 PM
Amos 20 Jun 08 - 09:50 AM
MMario 20 Jun 08 - 09:47 AM
Amos 20 Jun 08 - 09:43 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 11:41 AM

Oh, okay. I understand now.

He was acting like an orca, trying to attract other orcas to him (I assume you checked)so that his seal buddies, who were waiting below, could beat the crap out of the orca. Just another Socal turf war between rival gangs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 11:37 AM

Maybe the seal was playing "shark"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 11:34 AM

This seal was holding his flipper up toward the sky in a most unnatural pose, while blowing softly and swimming slowly.

On reflection, perhaps I should have whipped out the old cellphone and called someone..Gawd knows who..to alert them, but I chose to allow him his life-cycle without human intercession. It just seemed more respectful. Or, I was being lazy. I guess you have to draw the line somewhere; we can't fix everything.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 11:32 AM

By the way, how did you strain your ankle? Did you fall into a colander or something?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 08:49 AM

Seals have flippers, Amos. If you were a seal you would have a strained flipper, but you probably wouldn't have been invited to the company thing because seals only get invited to parties given by orcas because the orcas then eat the seals and it doesn't matter to the orca whether or not the seal has a strained flipper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 01:08 AM

Mix up some of this garlic pepper tea and put a dilute amount in a poultice for your ankle. I guarantee, soon the strain will not be a problem. You won't notice it (and the burning sensation will go away after a while with no scaring. . . )


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 12:57 AM

What a party. WHAT a party. A huge crowd came to the oceanographer's house ot say goodbye to the English girl who they have known for so long, a dancer who danced with the choreographer who is married to the oceanographer, and dozens of bright young twenty and thirty somethings who were friends of the English girl from her passionate pursuit of salsa dancing, of billiards and of American baseball. She had so many people coming to her farewell party as she is returning to England, it was like a whole graduating class. All bright, interesting from many many different walks of life.

Yesterday I went out on La Jolla 's coastal waters at sunrise in my wee kayak and talked to a seal who was nursing a bad arm/wing/paw.

This afternoon I played an hour or two of intense volleyball at the company pique-nique. Although I played like a much younger man, this evening I am beginning to feel like an older one! :D I strained an ankle and am limping about like an old fart.

ANd if you've never seen a fart limp, you haven't lived much.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 08 - 06:51 PM

And prolly skunks, 'coons, and O-possums to boot.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 08 - 05:45 PM

AND vampires. It would also repel vampires.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 08 - 04:38 PM

Garlic Sprays

To make garlic/pepper tea, liquefy 2 bulbs of garlic and 2 hot peppers in a blender 1/2 to 2/3 full of water. Strain the solids and add enough water to the garlic/pepper juice to make 1 gallon of concentrate. Use 1/4 cup of concentrate per gallon of spray. To make garlic tea, simply omit the pepper and add another bulb of garlic. Add two tablespoons of blackstrap molasses for more control.

Great for controlling pest on plants, and the garlic tea, sprayed around, does two things. It makes your yard smell like a fine Italian restaurant, and it repels mosquitoes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jun 08 - 03:48 PM

Yes! Get the recipe from Stilly and mix up a batch to take to your fundraiser tea, Rapaire. Those old women just love a good practical joke. You could give it a fancy French name like "Tueur de Ver".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 08 - 03:44 PM

How is it with ice cubes and sprig of mint?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 08 - 03:11 PM

ooooooo! Recipe! We want a recipe!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 08 - 12:40 PM

You all may want to clear offa the porch for a while. I'm gonna make my garlic pepper tea. It's kinda strong smelling (it's meant to chase off garden pests, but in its first-made concentrated form it chases off everything with a nose).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 08 - 11:55 AM

I like Bee-Dubya's solution. His instructions aren't bad either, but his solution'll keep you kickin' stumps for a week.

(You don't think that he really only uses them kilns for pottery, do you? The "waste heat" is used to run off some of the best alligator pizen to outa Floribama. He's an up-to-date multi-tasker and energy-star efficient dude!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 08 - 02:12 AM

I'm not sure GfS' post qualifies as BS; we should have our own Joe BS Clone to fix up such errant insertions into our communal work of Great Art, is what I think.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 08 - 12:34 AM

Chew the donut before or after?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 10:30 PM

You give fairly detailed instructions, Bee-Dubya. Could a bagel be used if the GUEST is on a diet prohibiting doughnuts or donuts?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 10:26 PM

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity - PM
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 08:43 PM

GOOD!!!!!


-----

Dear Guest from Sanity,

Please go to the nearest Tim Horton's if you're in Canada, Crispy Creme if you're in the US, or wherever people go to buy donuts if you're someplace else. While there, purchase a single donut of your choice, but make sure it's one with a hole in the middle. Take the donut home. When you arrive home, remove the donut from its bag and roll it across your kitchen table. While the donut is rolling, take a flying fuck at it. If you're not properly equipped to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, just shove the donut up your ass. Better yet, place the donut in your mouth and then shove your head up your ass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 09:15 PM

I've been working on a brand new old folk song. Which version do you like best?

Down in the Test Wexas town of El Pesthole
I fell in love with a Mexican girl.
Her name it was Rosa, she worked the cantinas
On a really slow night she might give me a whirl.


Or

Down in the defunct Texas town of Del Asjol
I got the hots for some Mexican chicks.
They were called "The Rositas", they worked the cantinas,
After they tried me I was called "Poco...."


I'm stuck on a rhyme there, so help would be appreciated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 08:43 PM

GOOD!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 06:36 PM

Well, it's good to see you guys have been keeping Gluon well fed and seeing he gets plenty of exercise.

What does Gluon eat, anyway?


(By the way, there's a Google adverstisement on the screen that invites me to "Drop 9 lbs of stomach fat every 11 days by sticking with the 10 rules." If I were to follow the 10 rules for 276.46 days, I would disappear completely.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 06:21 PM

Mention Gluon and Gluon will come. There I was, taking a nap, when something started humping my leg and whining....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 04:33 PM

HE;s been traveling as an organizer, bring joy all over the world with Matt and Melissa.

It just brings tears to my eyes. He's such a good duckdog.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 04:05 PM

What's this thread about now eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 04:02 PM

I found some of Gluon's footprints in the desert east of Cairo (SAM or SP2 sites) but I can't figure out how to click on the spot to send the coordinates in Google Earth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 12:22 PM

A joy, a delight, a breath of fresh humid, salty, oak-scented miasmic Flordibammy air! Lo, the BeDubYell has returned.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 11:57 AM

You were gone? Well, you'll be glad to know that we didn't missed your hands of clay and feet of grout.

Last I knew Gluon was sniffing around Experimental Breeder Reactor 1, out at the Idaho National Lab site. I'll see if I can send that miserable duckdog down your way. Your leg probably hasn't been humped in a month of Sundays.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 10:45 AM

Good to have you back, man. Pass me the saltshaker, would you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 10:40 AM

Hi, Mom! Your prodigal idiot son has returned!

I have decided that the other threads on this forum are ennui-inducive* and that the MOAB, despite its frailties, weaknesses, and tendency toward verbose postings in dead languages, is potentially more entertaining than the rest of the place put together. Yeah, I know it's a pretty low threshold, but sometimes one has to look for a bright spot wherever one can find it.

Please do not interpret my return as an indication that I'm going to read all the posts that have been made since I last darkened your door. They wouldn't make sense to a person of normal intelligence, much less an idiot like myself. Just because I'm an idiot doesn't mean I'm stupid.

How's Gluon?


* Ennui-inducive: a way to say "boring" using more than two syllables without cussing


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 06:50 AM

Alegar is NOT a made up word!!!! It just isn't commonly known.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 02:41 AM

You are certifiable, Amos. The men in white suits will be arriving shortly to take you awa'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 02:07 AM

I thought I would offer one of those literary opinions that no-one requested :

Swet Jesus hend and fre,
That was i-strawght on rode tre,
Nowthe and euer mid vs be
And vs schild form sinne.
Let thou noght to helle te
Thai that beth her-inne.
So bright of ble thou hire me,
Hoppe of alle mankynne!
Do us i-se the Trinite
And heuene riche to winne.
11] This world is loue is gon awai
So dew on grasse in someris dai,
Few ther beth, weilawai,
That louith Goddis lore.
Al we beth iclung so clai,
We schold rew that sore.
Prince and king, what, wenith thai
To libbe euir-more?
Leueth your plai and crieth ai:
Jesu Crist, thin ore!
21] Alas, alas, the riche men,
Of muk whi wol ye fille yur denne?
Wende ye to ber hit henne?
Nai, so mote I thriue!
Ye sulle se that al is fenne,
The catel of this liue.
To Criste ye ren and falleth o knen
That wondis tholiid fiue,
For ye beth trenne worthi to brenne
In bitter helle kiu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 01:53 AM

Note that alegar, backwards, spells ragela, which is the name of a back-hills country music played on hollowed-out roots and vine-strung bows in the mountains of Jamaica.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 08 - 12:32 AM

Alegar is a madeup word patterned on vin egar, I expect-- a soured stale beer used in salad dressing and Sir Emm's Drunk Chicken Jamboree Fricassee Backwards super-secret recipe.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 10:52 PM

Oooooooooh....getting close....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 08:29 PM

Here's a remarkable comaprison between McLellan's interview with Jon Stewart...and his interview by Bill O'Reilly. A classic presentation of two extreme styles.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 08:21 PM

What is alegar? Can it be used to attract alligators?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 08:11 PM

LH - you should have used them to make alegar


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 07:56 PM

Thanks, Amos.

Well, darn, LH. I'll have to go buy a bottle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 07:47 PM

Valery Plame Wilson--a lovely lady.

Scott Mc Lellan, Part 1

Scott McLellan, Part 2.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 07:45 PM

Stilly, you'll no doubt be perturbed to hear that I poured about 10 old bottles of beer down the drain here yesterday. They'd been sitting in the downstairs fridge here for years, and no one would drink them. I suspect they were past their due date by now.

Man, Shane would just about lose his mind if he knew I poured beer down the drain, eh? ;-) He already thinks I'm a few cards short of a full deck as it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 07:02 PM

Link?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 05:58 PM

I have just   had a riroarong time watching two YouTube interviews with Jon Stewart: one with Valerie Plame Wilson, and more important one with Scott McLellan.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 05:47 PM

The Midwest flood thread seems to have fallen off the list, but
here's some pictures from my home town and the surrounding area. (You might have to sit through the show a few times to see them all.) The building with a blue roof is a high-end riverfront restaurant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 05:34 PM

Anyone have a cold beer handy? I've been baking slowly all day out at a neighbor's garage sale. Back at it in the morning. Didn't make much, but got rid of some stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 03:37 PM

I met some fellas in Ireland that don't seem to like English, Amos. They seemed prudent enough chaps though, since they each had an Individual Retirement Account. At least I think that's what they said -- it was something about IRAs anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 09:50 AM

Oh, yes, I do love English. Almost as much as I love my Japanese car...no, more!! More!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 09:47 AM

Don't you love English? I wasn't critiqueing your usage, Amos; just sometimes alternate meanings of various constructions intrigue me, or tickle my funny bone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 09:43 AM

Ah, MM, you do me oproud. I meant, of course, "..countryside as viewed from a bicycle." No wonder you didn't understand; my grammar was so poor.

And Grampa's long gone.


Sniff.


A


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