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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 20 Jun 08 - 09:47 AM
Amos 20 Jun 08 - 09:43 AM
Rapparee 20 Jun 08 - 09:39 AM
MMario 20 Jun 08 - 08:52 AM
Rapparee 20 Jun 08 - 06:52 AM
Acme 19 Jun 08 - 11:10 PM
Amos 19 Jun 08 - 10:57 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 08 - 10:15 PM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 08 - 09:28 PM
Amos 19 Jun 08 - 07:35 PM
Acme 19 Jun 08 - 07:33 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 08 - 07:25 PM
Amos 19 Jun 08 - 04:44 PM
MMario 19 Jun 08 - 04:05 PM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 08 - 04:04 PM
MMario 19 Jun 08 - 03:43 PM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 08 - 03:41 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 08 - 03:31 PM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 08 - 03:06 PM
Amos 19 Jun 08 - 02:26 PM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 08 - 02:12 PM
MMario 19 Jun 08 - 02:10 PM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 08 - 02:04 PM
Janie 19 Jun 08 - 02:03 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 08 - 01:22 PM
Amos 19 Jun 08 - 11:45 AM
Janie 19 Jun 08 - 11:29 AM
Janie 19 Jun 08 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 19 Jun 08 - 08:30 AM
Amos 19 Jun 08 - 08:23 AM
MMario 19 Jun 08 - 08:14 AM
Acme 19 Jun 08 - 01:46 AM
Janie 19 Jun 08 - 12:18 AM
Little Hawk 18 Jun 08 - 10:31 PM
Janie 18 Jun 08 - 10:19 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 08 - 10:05 PM
Janie 18 Jun 08 - 09:53 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 08 - 09:40 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jun 08 - 09:02 PM
Amos 18 Jun 08 - 08:10 PM
Amos 18 Jun 08 - 07:03 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 08 - 03:19 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 08 - 03:07 PM
MMario 18 Jun 08 - 10:24 AM
Amos 18 Jun 08 - 10:22 AM
MMario 18 Jun 08 - 08:51 AM
Rapparee 18 Jun 08 - 08:26 AM
Amos 18 Jun 08 - 02:47 AM
Acme 18 Jun 08 - 01:29 AM
Amos 17 Jun 08 - 11:23 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 09:47 AM

Don't you love English? I wasn't critiqueing your usage, Amos; just sometimes alternate meanings of various constructions intrigue me, or tickle my funny bone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 09:43 AM

Ah, MM, you do me oproud. I meant, of course, "..countryside as viewed from a bicycle." No wonder you didn't understand; my grammar was so poor.

And Grampa's long gone.


Sniff.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 09:39 AM

Well, you know that the countries in Europe are smaller than the US.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 08:52 AM

The European Contryside can fit on a bicycle? Around here the scenery mostly rides around in buggies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 08 - 06:52 AM

Maybe she's going to move home AND charge a custom made trumpet to you AND the costs of her trip!

That would be a swell Dad's Day present, being able to make your kid happy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 11:10 PM

Good thing, smart girl. If she sent a card from Germany, the post office simply will not deliver it until the sender has long since returned to the U.S. You might have had to wait quite a while for those Dad Day greetings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 10:57 PM

She's in Frankfort, Germany--or rather a small agrarian village nearby. She is discovering the beauty of the European countryside on bicycle. But she sent the card before she left.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 10:15 PM

She's moving back home? She's bought a custom-made trumpet and charged it to you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 09:28 PM

Was he a former governor of California, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 07:35 PM

As it happens, he was a golden, but they are yellow just under their coats, you know.

I just received the most wonderful late Father's Day card from Barky. It made my heart swell with joy.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 07:33 PM

Musta been a yellow dog.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 07:25 PM

Why, that son of a bitch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 04:44 PM

Friend of mine had a dog once who thought he was a human being,. He would walk around on his hind legs and nod sagaciously. Once they caught him behind the woodshed, experimenting with cigarettes.

Another time, when the family was out, he snuck upstairs and worked out how to put on the Dad's three-piece tweed herringbone suit, stole a pipe from Dad's piperack, and borrowed a fedora and Sis's horn-rimmed glasses that she doesn't wear anymore because they made her look stupid. Dog went out and strolled down town on his hind legs, nodding sagaciously, and listening carefully to whaterver anyone said to him. By the time the family found out where he was, he'd been elected.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 04:05 PM

we had a Border Collie/Husky that used to like to chase fish; He would also swim out and herd the kids back to shore when he thought they'd been in the water long enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 04:04 PM

The vitamin deficiency I can believe, Mario, because the dog's owners weren't all that much smarter than the dog.

Watching him pursue fish underwater was really something to see. He was bloody persistent, and darn near drowned himself on a few occasions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 03:43 PM

the first behaviour is symptomatic of a vitamin deficiency; the second isn't that uncommon. And some dogs catch them!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 03:41 PM

I knew one that was so stupid he would eat his own...(you know)

As well as everyone else's! He cruised around the neighborhood daily doing cleanup of everyone's lawn.

But he was not an Irish Setter, come to think of it, he was a Golden Retriever.

He also tried to catch fish. In the water. This dog would have made George Bush look like Einstein.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 03:31 PM

No, Irish Setters are quite intelligent. They just chose to ignore it. (I know Irish Setters!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 03:06 PM

Yes, and Irish Setters were extremely popular, despite the fact that they have a brain about the size of a pea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 02:26 PM

Back then, Nitro was famous for the strange chemical smells permeating the region from the Dupont (or whoever) factory, and the cancer-clusters on the WHO maps.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 02:12 PM

Snap to, man, and DO what I say. Your cultural awareness is hanging in the balance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 02:10 PM

MOM! LH is trying to oreder us around again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 02:04 PM

Quick! WAV has just posted another AMAZING poem. Go there and read it. Do it now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 02:03 PM

A Nitro motel, eh? Last I heard, the only motel there mostly offered hourly rates....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 01:22 PM

Heck, I spent a whole month in Nitro when I stayed in a motel there one night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 11:45 AM

Reckon he was trying to find his birth-momma. Rumor was she was from around there. But Janie's much too young, so 'twarn't her. Some other birth-momma.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 11:29 AM

Well, Leo, Martinsburg and other environs in the eastern Panhandle are much more likely to claim to be part of West Virgina than is Wheeling and the northern Panhandle.

But it ain't nowhere near Turkey Creek.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 11:27 AM

OHMYGAWD Rap, You've been to Nitro?

It is my hometown (or at least mailing address and where I went to public school.)

What in the world were you doing in Nitro? I can not think of single reason to go there except to visit family or the odd class reunion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 08:30 AM

Well then, THAT explains THAT! Martinsburg. Jeez.

Yeah, I've been there. I've also been to Elkins and Nitro and a passel of other places in WV. Big highway signs at the border: "Ohio: A whole bunch of miles" and others like "Welcome to West Virginia: Gateway to Pennsylvania" and "Parkersburg: We'd post the population only we can't count that high" and "Historical Sight: This here's where the pig in the Hatfield-McCoy Feud was borned".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 08:23 AM

Ah! P;d Baron Boutletot's stomping ground, over to Berkeley County--the gateway to the Shenandoah valley. It's just down the trail from Harper's.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 08:14 AM

Martinsburg


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 01:46 AM

It certainly wasn't the Cracker Barrel in Arlington (Texas, that is), the one right behind the graveyard and funeral home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 12:18 AM

Mayhaps we are speaking of different Charlestons, Leetle Hawk?

We West Virginian's like to think we didn't really cotton to the Yanks or to the Rebels.

Others would opine that neither side would have us!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 10:31 PM

That and the fact that the damn yankees took it back!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 10:19 PM

Hmmphhh!

Tain't nothin' wrong with Charleston that tearing down Towne Centre Mall and shooing all the retail business three blocks back downtown where it belongs wouldn't fix!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 10:05 PM

Probably Charleston or some place like that. Not some nice place like Davis or something. MMario wouldn't go near places like those.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 09:53 PM

Where in West Virginia, sweet Mmario? Exactly where? Which Cracker Barrel? Was my cousin Billy there? Tall, anorexic looking fella who answers back to the voices in his head? Or my big red-headed cousin Charles and his little wife Linda? They would have been playing checkers while waiting for their party to be called.

Did you stop by Elmer and Beulah's farm, out on Turkey Creek? They're both buried out there, up on the ridge. I always think that if I were to go out there on a warm, Saturday night in June, and sit a spell on the porch steps, the noise of the insects, the frogs on the pond, and the wind in the trees would like as not resolve into the sound of stringed instruments, mountain voices, and the thump of feet clogging and flat-footing on the floorboards of the porch. Were the moon to be full enough to shed some light, I bet I'd see Elmer, frailin' away on his old banjo, gray-haired and plump Beulah leaning beside him on the rail, nodding in time to the music.   Glen would be leaning into the center of the circle, rosin rising from his bow like smoke in the dim light, and behind him and a little to the side, Tommy keeping everyone in perfect time with his rock-steady rhythm guitar playing. John wouldn't appear until it was late and time to slow things down just a bit with his country blues harmonica, and Kaye would by then be just tipsy enough to have the nerve to join in and sing nice harmony on the choruses.

When it got real late and the moon started going down, I imagine they'd all just gently fade into the dark. I'd stand up, brush the dust from the seat of my pants, and walk on back down the lane to my car, thinking, "Yep, those times were almost heaven."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 09:40 PM

The chilly steel of a rapier transfixing your miserable excuse for a carcase from front to back, the blade steaming from the hot blood flowing down its length....

But I digress. I meant to say yes, Amos, I knew all that. And I can think of no one more deserving of such labor than myself (even though I did not realize I'd copped the number until I'd already done so).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 09:02 PM

Waxing pompous again, are you, Amos? Gazing down your patrician nose at others again? Waving your scented hankie in their faces as you dismiss them in your cavalier fashion? Well, sir, I predict that there is a grim comeuppance looming in your future and you will soon find the cowbird of ill fortune pecking at your window, the snake of vile calumny slithering down your driveway, and the polecat of universal rejection leaving a smelly and steaming "present" in your garden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 08:10 PM

And let us not dwell overmuch on the reason that you don't kiss and tell -- viz, that you do not kiss. Or, if you do, it is of no great interest to anyone else, and so does not bear the telling of it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 07:03 PM

You may gloat, sir, ;litytle suspecting the trials and tribulations your small triumph has cost others, the pains they went to on your behalf, the deprivations they endured to ensure you were so gifted. Be not hasty in assuming merit, sir, instead of profound generosity. There are many ways at work in the works of the world.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 03:19 PM

Please note (ahem!) that my last post was 24042, a wonderful palindrome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 03:07 PM

I mean exactly whatever you think I mean, but remember: I don't kiss and tell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 10:24 AM

I was in Wes'Ginny attending a Hoot n"holler with some Rustic Tarts and Old Farts.

We took over the rockin' chairs at the local Cracker Barrell and had a heck of a good time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 10:22 AM

Welcome back, Sir Emms. Where was you?

Rapaire, when you say you learned of life and love and the pleasures of the flesh from Cyd Charise, I take it you are referring to trying to dance just like her when you were eight, and falling on your bum?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 08:51 AM

I'm home!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 08:26 AM

I first learned of life and love and the delights of the flesh from her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 02:47 AM

YEs--and many from that era actually did become her!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jun 08 - 01:29 AM

Sad day in MOAB land.

An elegant lady of the stage has passed away.

Cyd Charisse

Didn't every little girl or young woman secretly want to be her?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 08 - 11:23 PM

Somber shadows mark the trail, and cooling twilight winds shuffle the needles and leaves. It is a long slope, with many a dispiriting struggle in it. You can look up and up, with the lowering sun at your back, and face the grayness from which tomorrow -- and the Next Great K -- will be born into the world. The day to come is a speculation, an extension by intellect. Not all the conviction in the world will replace the arrival of the fact, as the thin, dark bands of night's darkness first start to tremble and yield to the marching, oncoming river of light that makes that fateful day materialize in your life. For it comes, as surely as your next breath, your next smile, your next heartbeat; be sure, it comes. It will come over those eastern shadowy peaks like a bolt of sunshine breaking into an ancient outhouse. The Great K will come. Be ready.


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