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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 17 Mar 08 - 12:59 PM
Acme 17 Mar 08 - 12:30 PM
Amos 17 Mar 08 - 12:17 PM
MMario 17 Mar 08 - 11:49 AM
Amos 17 Mar 08 - 11:44 AM
Acme 17 Mar 08 - 10:01 AM
Amos 17 Mar 08 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 17 Mar 08 - 09:04 AM
Rapparee 17 Mar 08 - 08:51 AM
Rapparee 17 Mar 08 - 08:49 AM
Amos 16 Mar 08 - 11:04 PM
Acme 16 Mar 08 - 10:45 PM
Rapparee 16 Mar 08 - 09:44 PM
Amos 16 Mar 08 - 09:12 PM
Rapparee 16 Mar 08 - 08:58 PM
Amos 16 Mar 08 - 07:51 PM
Rapparee 16 Mar 08 - 07:38 PM
Amos 16 Mar 08 - 06:45 PM
Amos 16 Mar 08 - 05:35 PM
Rapparee 16 Mar 08 - 04:36 PM
Amos 16 Mar 08 - 01:30 AM
Acme 16 Mar 08 - 01:25 AM
Rapparee 16 Mar 08 - 12:47 AM
Amos 16 Mar 08 - 12:07 AM
Rapparee 15 Mar 08 - 10:49 PM
Amos 15 Mar 08 - 10:43 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 08 - 10:35 PM
Little Hawk 15 Mar 08 - 10:13 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 08 - 09:45 PM
Little Hawk 15 Mar 08 - 09:08 PM
Amos 15 Mar 08 - 09:08 PM
Amos 15 Mar 08 - 09:01 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 08 - 09:00 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 08 - 08:50 PM
Amos 15 Mar 08 - 07:40 PM
Amos 15 Mar 08 - 12:54 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 08 - 12:52 PM
Amos 15 Mar 08 - 10:22 AM
Amos 15 Mar 08 - 08:10 AM
Rapparee 14 Mar 08 - 09:24 PM
Amos 14 Mar 08 - 06:39 PM
Rapparee 14 Mar 08 - 06:07 PM
Acme 14 Mar 08 - 05:23 PM
Acme 14 Mar 08 - 05:22 PM
Acme 14 Mar 08 - 05:22 PM
Acme 14 Mar 08 - 05:22 PM
Acme 14 Mar 08 - 05:21 PM
Amos 14 Mar 08 - 05:16 PM
Amos 14 Mar 08 - 01:38 PM
Rapparee 14 Mar 08 - 01:21 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 12:59 PM

BAD pun? Madam, do you really have such high standards? I thought it first-rate!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 12:30 PM

Geez. . .I'm reading that trying to think what movie he's talking about. . . Barbara Stanwyck? Naw, just a bad pun. got me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 12:17 PM

Mwaaaahahahahahahaha....

I always wanted to see my name in big letters, Sir MMario, but not in that context!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 11:49 AM

MOM!

Make AMOS STOP!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 11:44 AM

Yeah, look what it did to Henry Fonda! He got so drunk on it one night that he ran off and shacked up with the chambermaid for the night. Of course, he was aghast when he woke up the next morning and hastily beat a retreat, covered with embarassment. He never acknowledged the girl, even though it later turned out she was pregnant as a result of the liaison.

She gave birth to a boy, but gave up on trying to get Henry to take responsibility, settling for some payoff or other to forget about it, and she moved up to a small coastal town in Oregon and raised the lad --whonm she had named Hargrove, after her own father--as a single mom for years. Finally when he was about nine, he asked his mother where he had come from, and she had to face the big question of how much to tell him.

She looked at him sadly and said,




...











....














"Absinthe made thee, Hargrove Fonda."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 10:01 AM

The Star-Telegram had a story about absinthe being reintroduced in the U.S. after nearly 100 years of being banned. I can't say that particular green drink has much appeal. Anyone who saw Madam X knows better than to tread that path!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 09:56 AM

I shall quietly recite Finnegan's Wake at sunrise, in honored mem'ry of me sainted mither, who loved it so.

No green beer for me, thanks. Makes me think of various diseases associated with peeing green.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 09:04 AM

An' shure an' begorra, Mom, set down an' have a jar o' green Guinness with a plate o' corned beef an' cabbage an' sellybrate the day o' the good Saint Paddy, he who driv all of the snakes an' toads outa Oireland.

Or celebrate in the traditional Irish fashion and beat up an Englishman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 08:51 AM

As for that poor puppy, s/he is not only entitled to shoot his/her owners but to draw and quarter them. I'm surprised that PETA hasn't taken action.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 08:49 AM

Discretion is the better part of living.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 11:04 PM

I think the long furry ones. Those pink hot-chaps are not my style. And how did your pants get on a model with a tanned navel?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 10:45 PM

Ohmygawd. . . I went looking at Google images for a dog panting, and came up with this.

That dog is not only entitled to bite his owners, if he can figure out how to step on the safety, he can shoot them as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 09:44 PM

These or these? I only have two pairs (the second ones are on a model).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 09:12 PM

Aha! I am so glad to hear all that. Can I have your pants?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 08:58 PM

Never. That would be Against The Code and you could be drummed out of the profession, stripped of your ranks and degrees, de-pantsed, and then stood up against The Wall* and shot.
















*Libraries have lots of extra copy of the Pink Floyd album. We keep them just for this sort of thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 07:51 PM

Or recycle it under their own imprimature, they may.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 07:38 PM

Dr. A. addresses several issues:

*Becoming an old man

In the very first chapter he quotes the immortal lines

In the spring, a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of what
The older man, throughout the year, has never even once forgot.


*At what age can one become a dirty old man?
*Use your eyes!
*At whom to leer

With its discussion of mammamobilism (also known as "nipple shock").

Oh, it is a veritable font of wisdom, but I am unsurprised that it has remained Known But To A Few. Librarians keep TRUE wisdom for themselves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 06:45 PM

Probably things like "Gaze boldly, do not glance slyly", and "be brave in admiration", and such. Good rules all, much used in the Temple.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 05:35 PM

How, ummmm, nice for you, Rapaire. What sort of guidance do you get from it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 04:36 PM

I own a copy of the late Isaac Asimov's The Sensuous Dirty Old Man. It is the single book which has influenced me the most and to which I turn for guidance in times of trouble.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 01:30 AM

Whereas for those who are constantly attuned to the velleities of the art, it is often double entendre all over again.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 01:25 AM

Sadly, for too many people in the world today, DE is simply diatomaceous earth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 12:47 AM

No, I started informally in high school. By the time I received my MS in Library and Information Science I was postdoctoral in DE.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 12:07 AM

Ah, I see you have had Double Entendre Sensitivity Training -- I imagine it was part of your librarian Degree, no?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 10:49 PM

They're not called "Mounties" for nothing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 10:43 PM

Great. Beavers being ordered to schedule their boners. And what happens if they slip and have one inadvertently? They get jumped by a Mounty-wounty.

Sheeshe.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 10:35 PM

Isn't that the law up there? I think it's called "The Law of the Conservation of Energy."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 10:13 PM

Canadian efficiency, eh? ;-) We've got a lot of cold weather up here, so we can't afford to waste any valuable energy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 09:45 PM

Excellent planning, LH.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 09:08 PM

Not mine. I've got them all neatly scheduled in my daily planner. That way they don't interfere with my concentrating on the many other things I need to attend to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 09:08 PM

And would it have been worth it, after all,        
Would it have been worth while,              
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,        
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—        
And this, and so much more?—        
It is impossible to say just what IS BS!        
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a thread:                 
Would it have been worth while        
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,        
And turning toward the window, said with shaking head,
“That is not BS at all,        
That is not what I call BS, at all.”

Thaddeus Bough ALexander
Love Songs are BS Too
Gray and Olde, pubs
London, 1938


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 09:01 PM

I am quite impressed that you have acquired the ability to schedule your boners so far in advance. Mine always take me unawares.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 09:00 PM

Oh, and a "Field of Heroes" meeting on Tuesday night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 08:50 PM

My knee hurts. The MRI tech said that "nothing leaps out at me" but a radiologist will read the pictures and on Wednesday morning I'll know. I suspect surgery is in my future; I've had knee surgery before and I'll schedule this one for a Thursday and be back to work on Monday. It will, I'm sure, interfere with my planned trip to Ireland beginning in mid-May.

In brief, I'm getting along about as I have been. Just a bit down because I don't know the future. Of course, I have a Board meeting Tuesday, an Executive Staff Meeting Tuesday, the boner on Wednesday morning, a meeting with an environmental engineer on Wednesday afternoon, and we just got six inches of unpredicted snow in about two and half hours. The last all by itself is a real downer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 07:40 PM

The air is still; the wind has turned
And quieted. The clouds are gone
and summer's warmth untimely
Licks the river in the fading light.
This is the calm when leaves roll over
And dogs become unsteady,
Cats go off by themselves,
And even hydrants seem the wrong colors.
Just as the still is settling down
In the long evening twiligt,
A creak and click are felt,
Not known but understood as
Ancestors are understood.
Then, in a timing down of the world's
Best chaps
Then i the storm unleashed
That sears the eyes in the shine
And of BS again
Makes a godhead in the night.

Aloysius Prendergast De Vere
Rattled in Cages Known to None
Waterside Publications
Lesser American Poets Series
Chicago, 1957


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 12:54 PM

How are you, Rapaire? How's your leg?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 12:52 PM

Yes, I'm certain that applies, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 10:22 AM

I turn my gaze back from the world
Of riches, politics and bombs,
Of markets, madness, sexy girls,
And fancy boys of suave aplomb
And bring my tired heart to Mom.


Callihex Manihew, Jr.
Why I am a Narcissist
Coulter Productions, Washington, 2001


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 08:10 AM

Well, pi is as pi does, I always say. I am sure I have always said that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 09:24 PM

For this achievement he won a personal-pan pizza from Pizza Hut. Not even a drink to go with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 06:39 PM

What a pie-faced laud!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 06:07 PM

My nephew, who is graduated this Spring with degrees in Physics and Chemistry, once memorized pi to 200 decimal places. The problem was not for him, but for the man who had to check it as he recited.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 05:23 PM

. . . might as well tidy up around here. A spinner will help. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 05:22 PM

Well. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 05:22 PM

Oh,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 05:22 PM

How'd'ja like them apples?

In a pi, of course!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 05:21 PM

I am reminded of an interesting book I read recently called "Influence", a study of some of the trigger-response mechanisms which veteran sales people and other persuaders and manipulators learn to use in order to gain compliance from customers, or voters, or whatever.

Damn. Just wiped out this comment. I'll try again.

I was rather appalled when the salesman for a roofing company that was bidding on the work on my roof mistook a question of mine and started making bigoted remarks about the mixed-race neighborhood just across the creek. I'm on the south side next to the bridge, and though it is an artificial barrier and the races are mixed on both sides, the size of houses and yards make the neighborhoods distinctly different. He seemed conspiratorial, as if a shared bigotry would get him the business. (It didn't, I hired a Mexican roofer directly, without the middle man.)

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 05:16 PM

Do you know what today is?

It's 3/14, of course -- celebrated by math enthusiasts the world over as International Pi Day. It's also the 129th anniversary of Albert Einstein's birth.

How'd'ja like them apples?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 01:38 PM

A duckdog who lived in the park
Called Gluon, came out in the dark.
When good, he's the bestest
When bad, the depressedest
It depends on the Schrodinger QUark.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 01:21 PM

Gluon is as good as a duckdog can be.


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