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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 03 Mar 08 - 10:15 AM
Amos 03 Mar 08 - 09:31 AM
Rapparee 03 Mar 08 - 09:18 AM
Amos 03 Mar 08 - 09:02 AM
Amos 03 Mar 08 - 07:36 AM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 08 - 02:11 AM
Acme 03 Mar 08 - 01:05 AM
Rapparee 03 Mar 08 - 12:12 AM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 10:05 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 08 - 09:01 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 08:40 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 08 - 08:39 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 08:36 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 08 - 08:05 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 07:57 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 06:30 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 05:59 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 05:53 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 05:33 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 05:23 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 05:11 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 08 - 04:32 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 08 - 12:46 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 12:14 PM
Acme 02 Mar 08 - 11:21 AM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 11:05 AM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 11:02 AM
Acme 02 Mar 08 - 01:03 AM
Rapparee 01 Mar 08 - 10:48 PM
Janie 01 Mar 08 - 10:19 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 08 - 09:51 PM
Peace 01 Mar 08 - 09:04 PM
Little Hawk 01 Mar 08 - 08:45 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 08 - 08:39 PM
Peace 01 Mar 08 - 08:33 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 08 - 08:32 PM
Amos 01 Mar 08 - 03:24 PM
Amos 01 Mar 08 - 02:12 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 08 - 02:09 PM
Acme 01 Mar 08 - 11:47 AM
Amos 01 Mar 08 - 10:46 AM
Acme 29 Feb 08 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 29 Feb 08 - 09:35 PM
Amos 29 Feb 08 - 09:22 PM
Rapparee 29 Feb 08 - 09:10 PM
Acme 29 Feb 08 - 07:46 PM
Acme 29 Feb 08 - 07:45 PM
Amos 29 Feb 08 - 07:43 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 10:15 AM

How come Hawaii has Bob's Big Boys and Texas doesn't? (I thought we did, at one time. Maybe Bob went on a diet.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:31 AM

I am delighted to see it was just local economics that drove the Balboa Avenue branch out of business. I miss the ten-foot tall statue of the fat boy with the hamburger.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:18 AM

You mean these? In California you can find at least one in Baker, Barstow, Burbank, Calimesa, Colton, Diamond Bar, Glendale, Hesperia, Los Angeles, Santa Paula, Signal Hill and Torrance.

See? Ask, and someone will help you fill your craving for lousy food.

There are no Big Boys in Ft. Doggerell, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:02 AM

I swear I am going to put ny thumbs on a diet.

T'all should be Y'all. ANd insert "it" after "isn't".

The humorist Bennett Cerf was sent to do ana rticle on Venice as a young reporter. He wired back to his editor, "Streets full of water. Please advise.".

Last night I sat up in bed and unexpectedly asked my wife -- who was immersed in her book -- whatever happened to Bob's Big Boy?

She told me my mind was like a garbage bag.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:36 AM

T'all are just a wee bit jealous, no? It is this winter thing, isn't. You are applying the old "Don't get SAD, get even" principle. You don't fool me for a minute.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 02:11 AM

Hey, man...I have seen Blind River.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:05 AM

The Land of Fruits and Nuts bears little in common with the rest of North America. That is true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 12:12 AM

How abysmally ignorant of Canadiana LH seems to be! Never to have heard of Ft. Doggerell, home of Victor Conibear, Marten Fisher, and of course, Skookum...well, I suppose he can still learn.... Of course, Amos lives in San Diego and that in itself is a built-in excuse for many, many things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 10:05 PM

No question about that. When it comes to doggerel, Amos, you have NO rivals!

I, however, am slightly better at codswallop and utter rubbish. At least, I think so....

I am giving it my best shot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 09:47 PM

I thumb my nose in the general direction of Doggerel. I mastered long ago zis Doggerel, as any reader of zis thread will confirm. No threat of DOggerel can move me one iota (which rhymes with quota).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 09:01 PM

Watch it, or I won't think of you anymore and you'll disappear forever. Or...yes...I'll combine you with Little Hawk and move you both to Ft. Doggerell, quite a ways north of Whitehorse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:40 PM

Suck old rocks, Solipsist-Man. Your dreams are not the stuff of existence.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:39 PM

You both live in the world I created for you. Get used to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:36 PM

No, LH -- it is the same world. You just live in a smaller part of it than I do.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:05 PM

Vos es utriusque madide fossor. Matris mos non exsisto superbus vestrum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 07:57 PM

"My emotional stability is without pareil in all the known world."

Really? My goodness!

I can only assume from that statement, my friend, that the world you are presently experiencing is a good deal smaller than my own.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 06:30 PM

Pfui on your cheap psycho-babble shots, Leedle Hawk. My emotional stability is without pareil in all the known world.

Have you ever heard Townes van Zandt sing "Goodbye, Mommy Shrimp". It made me think of your French. At the end he says, "Wal, I reckon there's a difference between 'choked up' and 'gagged'."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 05:59 PM

Have you been hitting the bottle today, Amos? Or did you write that last post first in English, then translate to French, then translate to Romanian, and then back to English again? You're getting a trifle incoherent. Furthermore, your post shows signs of emotional instability.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 05:53 PM

Little Hawk,

I got your effing translation from the same place you did, pal. Be not disingenuous.   Because you chose to be as insulting as a a frothing, rapid street-dog, and further chose to d so under the thinly veiled of a foreign tongue, and then chose to find some cheap-ass robotic interface to do the translating for you...for all these reasons, sir, I spit on the casabah of your frontal forefather.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 05:33 PM

What I said, translated as best I can recall, was to this general effect:

Rapaire, you are a simpleton, a man free of either wit or wisdom. It is my wish that you might be trampled to death by a herd of rampaging pigs, and that your mutilated corpse might then be devoured by hyenas. Your shoes are ugly. You lack discrimination. The termination of your miserable existence would make even the inhabitants of distant Zanzibar more than happy.

(I'm paraphrasing, you understand, but that's the general sense of it...) Don't take it personally! I'm just practicing for the "insulting each other" thread. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 05:23 PM

Your ability to translate my French into coherent English, Amos, is about at the same level as your ability to resist the temptation to be unnecessarily verbose. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 05:11 PM

Well, his French i not exactly orthodox.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:32 PM

Yeah, I know. Sometimes I can read what passes for French without artificial aids.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:01 PM

Just so we are all clear about it here is what Babel says Little Hawk said to Rapaire:

"Rapaire, you êtes a simpleton, a man free from spirit or wisdom. It is my wish that you would owe être piétiné à death by a ransacking herd of pigs, and that your corpse mutilé would owe then être dévoré by hyenas. Your shoes are ugly. Your miss in discrimination. The arrêt of your unhappy existence would be great advantage for égaliser the inhabitants éloignés de Zanzibar."

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 12:46 PM

Well, LH is one of them....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 12:14 PM

Evidently, LH is still sucking n left over cocktails from last night. LH, speaking of weird alien characters, your French is full of them, not related to the language.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 11:21 AM

He hasn't even had his morning coffee yet, Little Hawk!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 11:05 AM

Rapaire, vous êtes un simpleton, un homme exempt d'esprit ou sagesse. Il est mon souhait que vous devriez être piétiné à la mort par un troupeau saccageant de porcs, et que votre cadavre mutilé devrait alors être dévoré par des hyènes. Vos chaussures sont laides. Votre manquent dans la discrimination. L'arrêt de votre existence malheureuse serait du grand avantage pour égaliser les habitants éloignés de Zanzibar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 11:02 AM

Nanny DIck!! Nanny Dick!!
There's a handle that should srick!!
A social label for the National Prick,
Nanny Dick.

Good morning, Mommy Dearest!!

Vote for Obaaaaama.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:03 AM

As to the adventures of George and Dick, I have a wonderful poem on my office wall sent to me by a friend at Purdue. He won it in an auction of some sort and sent it as thanks for a favor. I should do more favors! It was written by Calvin Trillin and published in The New Yorker. This is the typed page and Trillin signed it.

I CAN'T APPEAR WITHOUT MY NANNY DICK
(George W. Bush explains the interview arrangements
he's made with the 9/11 commission)

When called upon to testify
I said I was a busy guy
So maybe we could do it on the phone.
They really want a face to face.
I said, OK, if that's the case,
I'm certainly not doing it alone.

I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
For Nanny Dick I've got a serious jones.
I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
I love the way he cocks his head and drones.

Cartoonists show me as a dummy,*
With voice by Cheney (or by Rummy.)
I'm the butt of every late-night satirist.
But I just can't go solitaire.
I need the help that's due an heir.
I need a dad, and dad's a multilateralist

I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
He brings along a gravitas I lack.
I can't appear without my Nanny Dick --
The one who knows why we attacked Iraq.

Yes, Condi Rice is quite precise
With foreign policy advice
On who's Afghani and who's Pakistani.
I like to have her near in case
I just can't place some foreign face,
But Condoleezza Rice is not my nanny.

I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
I wouldn't know which facts I should convey.
I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
It's Nanny Dick who tells me what to say.


*Though Charlie McCarthy's the dummy
Whose name has been most often heard,
Some folks who remember that act say
I'm closer to Mortimer Snerd.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 10:48 PM

Oh, LH has slipped into French again. He does that periodically, or as he says at these times, "Tonnere de Brest, mais je suis une tete du merde! Ou est mon 'Les Aventures de Tintin'?" (I don't have a French keyboard, but you can get the idea.)

He'll come out of it eventually.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 10:19 PM

Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 09:51 PM

Όνομα του Θεού ! Αποδεικνύεται ότι ο συκοφαντηκός εχθρός έχει οδηγηθεί από τον αγρό της μάχης από την τροφοδότηση της γαλλικής γλώσσας. Χαθείτε έτσι όλοι τύραννοι !


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 09:04 PM

Bon dieu, nom de plume!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 08:45 PM

Nom de Dieu! Il s'avère que l'ennemi calomnieux a été conduit par le champ de la bataille par la puissance de la langue française. Périssez ainsi tous les tyrans!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 08:39 PM

Big Georgy-Porgy (as Condi calls him)? Amos? I've been worried about Amos for quite some time. Between you and me, I think he's, well....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 08:33 PM

I'm starting to worry about that fellow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 08:32 PM

Somehow though I can't picture Condi as Catwoman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 03:24 PM

Funny you should mention that. I have noticed the similarity.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 02:12 PM

Shhhh.....HE who must not be Named is he who must not be Named....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 02:09 PM

Big George or Big Dick come 'round here I'm gonna let 'em know what I think of 'em, and I ain't a-gonna mince words neither. I'd display my erudition and vocabulary, but Big George wouldn't understand it and Big Dick would have a heart attack.

Did you ever notice the similarity of Big George to the The Joker in Batman and Big Dick to Lex Luthor in Superman?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 11:47 AM

Yeah. I prefer the MartinGibson treatment. Insult him. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 10:46 AM

The world's longest and best thread brought instantly to a screeching, thundering, flatulent halt.


I can imagine it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 10:59 PM

Bush turns up and I'm outta here--or else he gets the MartinGibson treatment until he vamooses. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:35 PM

Truth is truth, Amos. They ARE out to get me. They keep trying to make me give up but I'm smarter than that. I believe what our President said, that if we quit now the terrorists win and also that the mission is accomplished and why isn't he on MOAB?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:22 PM

Aw, man, Rap, I yam tellin' youse, ya gotta get off this "Victimology kick, man. It's a dead end!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:10 PM

Actually, Rap was just getting home. But that's all right. I'm used to it by now. Rejection, I mean. Have I ever mentioned that I lack a navel because my mother rejected me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 07:46 PM

;-D

I couldn't resist. Rap was probably soaking his poor knee in a hot tub or rolling on the Absorbine Jr.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 07:45 PM

what number?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 07:43 PM

GRAB IT RAPAIRE!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! THE PERFECT SPIN NUMBER!!! GRAB IT MAN!!! ITS KARMA!!!!!



A


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