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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 03:35 PM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 02:27 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 01:38 PM
Acme 26 Nov 07 - 01:21 PM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 12:28 PM
Donuel 26 Nov 07 - 12:22 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 11:52 AM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 11:43 AM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 10:47 AM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 10:28 AM
MMario 26 Nov 07 - 09:45 AM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 09:05 AM
MMario 26 Nov 07 - 08:52 AM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 08:40 AM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 12:27 AM
Acme 26 Nov 07 - 12:08 AM
Janie 25 Nov 07 - 11:10 PM
Amos 25 Nov 07 - 10:36 PM
Amos 25 Nov 07 - 10:33 PM
Rapparee 25 Nov 07 - 06:35 PM
Amos 25 Nov 07 - 06:00 PM
Rapparee 25 Nov 07 - 04:04 PM
GUEST,Loooooooooooooooong John Sliver 25 Nov 07 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 25 Nov 07 - 02:36 PM
Acme 25 Nov 07 - 01:18 PM
Rapparee 25 Nov 07 - 12:52 PM
Janie 24 Nov 07 - 11:43 PM
Acme 24 Nov 07 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 24 Nov 07 - 09:24 PM
GUEST,Amos 24 Nov 07 - 10:10 AM
Janie 24 Nov 07 - 01:53 AM
Janie 24 Nov 07 - 12:40 AM
Acme 23 Nov 07 - 11:38 PM
Little Hawk 23 Nov 07 - 11:09 PM
Rapparee 23 Nov 07 - 09:38 PM
Janie 23 Nov 07 - 04:12 PM
Rapparee 23 Nov 07 - 11:26 AM
Acme 23 Nov 07 - 11:23 AM
Amos 23 Nov 07 - 07:06 AM
Acme 22 Nov 07 - 11:43 PM
Little Hawk 22 Nov 07 - 10:54 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 07 - 10:50 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 07 - 10:49 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 07 - 08:17 PM
Little Hawk 22 Nov 07 - 05:25 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 07 - 04:55 PM
Little Hawk 22 Nov 07 - 02:55 PM
Amos 22 Nov 07 - 02:41 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 07 - 02:11 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 03:35 PM

Reminds me.

Salmon River Sally was in town last night. Naturally, she dropped up to the Legion Hovel, her bein' a Legionette and all.

Being a Legionette is no different at all from being a Legionaire. It just depends upon which box you check on the application and/or annual renewal form. Some folks check 'em both and pay double dues. Some folks don't check either one and pay triple dues. The first is the penalty for being a wise ass and the other is the penalty for being able to make a decision. Of course, dues are twenty-five cents per year (or one hundred hours of community service if you don't have any money).

Anyway, Sally was looking for Pibsco. Seems like he took off from home about a week back and hasn't been seen since. Or heard. Or, as is usual, smelled. And Sal was packing a sawed-off ten gauge. They'd apparently had some marital difficulty or other.

Pibsco hadn't been around the Hovel; probably figured that was the second place Sally would look with the first being the outhouse. Ol' Pibsco spends lots of time in there, mostly because it masks his own odor. In fact, an old outhouse smells downright refreshing after Pibsco.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 02:27 PM

'S alright; I though you were being an umlout, and took the error as a confession.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 01:38 PM

My, my. I note that I misspelled "umlaut" and used the wrong "here" in my last post.

Well, us folks out here in Idaho STILL don't need no fancy ~ or ^ or anything like that! If it was good enough for the Declaration of Independence it's good enough for us!

And we agree with Ben Franklin, too! Let's make German our national language!

(We could make the turkey our national bird, too, only we already have enough of those in the White House and the Congress.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 01:21 PM

Did we answer your question, Janie?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 12:28 PM

Hear? Hear?

And that was a circonflex, mon vieux. If you can't take the accent, stay away from the language.

Anyway, I am glad to hear you have learned to raise the seat. That's progress. I recall back in your Legionairre days, the only time you raised the seat was to pray.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 12:22 PM

better yet:

gay muslim for choice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 11:52 AM

Besides, I don't have all them fancy-schmancy carets and accent marks and umlouts and stuff. Out here in Idaho we don't hold with all that. Good plain letters was good enough fer our forefathers and by God! they're good enough for us!

(Survivor: Idaho (TV show proposal): Driving a pink cadillac with California licenses plates on it and a bumper sticker that reads "I'm gay and I'm hear to take away your guns.")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 11:43 AM

You badmouthin' my aim? I always put the seat up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 10:47 AM

I hope Rapaire's aim is better than his French, that's all I can say. C'est pas sa tête qui est plein de merde, mais peut-etre son âme.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 10:28 AM

Not too firmly, I would hope; I get sympathetic flinching just thinking about it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 09:45 AM

Abagail has him pretty firmly in hand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 09:39 AM

Millard -- in your heart you wonder on the other hand.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 09:05 AM

Millard Fillmore -- in your heart you know he's right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 08:52 AM

Hi MOM! 1842 is lovely as usual - I got to meet Charles Dickens! And President Polk. Mr. Mayor Millard Fillmore was sick most of the weekend - but Mrs. Fillmore kept everyone hopping with caroling and stuff to impress the President. (She's asked Father Christmas for a white house for Christmas - I guess Millard is going to have to buy some paint - 'cause their house is beige....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 08:40 AM

I subscribe to the theory that ALL children should be nailed into barrels when they turn 12 years old and fed through the bunghole. At 18 you can decide whether or not to drive in the bung.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 12:27 AM

As the old blues says:

There just ain't no....
Ain't noooo understandin'
That ole testosterone
.

Course, how I know is (1) I been there and (2) I wrote them blues.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 12:08 AM

No. My mother subscribed to the idea that they should be stuffed in baskets that hang on the wall, and let out at age 21.

Funny that these ideas should have come from two mental health professionals, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 11:10 PM

MOM, urgent question. Is it true that boys should be chloroformed somewhere between age 12 and 14, then kept under glass until they are at least 27?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 10:36 PM

Oh!! I'm sorry. You meant Malibu.

Malibu is about ninety miles away from here. So no worries.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 10:33 PM

They were put out a couple of weeks back, as I recall.

Are you still carrying them around? Or are you having to watch reruns on the news bwcause of the writer's strikes?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 06:35 PM

How're you doing with them fires, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 06:00 PM

Wal, you know what they say, John -- when a man's gotta go, he's gotta go...eel or no eel.


I am home nopw, Mom. I spent a delightful weekend at Mudlark's quiet ranchito out under the moon near Paso Robles on the Central Coast. Beautiful country.

I am glad to be home, but I had a wonnerful time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 04:04 PM

Jaysus....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Loooooooooooooooong John Sliver
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 03:58 PM

Avast, mateys! This old thread's still afloat, is she? Well, Looooooooooong John would tell ye a tale or two if ye'd pass over the rum.

Aaargh, there's nothing like rum to keep a man afloat, nothing like it. Why, I remember one time we was fighting our way around the Cape, through the Straits of Magellan (and a good man he was, too!), past the Faralones, through the Strait of Juan de Fuca (the landlubbin' swab!), and fighting cyclones and hurricanes and typhoons all the way, too.

It was off Kiska, I remember, that I was swept overboard by a wave that shivered our mainstuns'l. Washed me right out of the crow's nest, it did, and into the mouth of a giant eel.

Aargh, but it was a cold way to go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 02:36 PM

Our Friends group bought us a largish LCD monitor last year. We put it on an old Dell computer and it runs Powerpoint programs about what's happening at the Library, stuff about area history, etc.

A copy of some of the history ppt's were requested by the Shoshone-Bannock Nations, by the local Japanese-American community, and the local Railroad Museum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 01:18 PM

I think the monitors we put up were over $3000 each four or five years ago. People didn't walk in and look at them for informtion, they would walk in and ask "how much did you spend for those things?" Now nobody notices the technology, and they're on the small side compared to what one can get. But they're still going strong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 12:52 PM

$1129 (US), I think the four of them were. I'll buy more if these work out. They're the largest frames currently available; I like Pandigital's restrained, and interchangable, frames too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Nov 07 - 11:43 PM

I got MOM's check today via FedEx.

Mom is also left-handed. I can tell because of the appearance of her check. It looked like this .
                              .
                               .
                               .    .
                                 . .
                                  .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Nov 07 - 10:59 PM

Those have to be cheaper than the plasma screens we bought to use for digital signage a few years ago. Good idea!

Janie, hippo birdie to you, and all that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 07 - 09:24 PM

Mama, je suis retourne.

Mama, je suis ici.

Mama, Amos dit que j'ai une tete de merde. Groundez-il! SVP, por favor.

And in the spirit of the holiday season, I bought a 48" pre-lit wreath to hang on the front of the house. Among other things.

I also went out and ordered four (4) 15" digital picture frams for the Library. I'm going to use them for signage -- create the sign in Photoshop Elements or something like that as a jpeg, save it to an SD or similar card, and voila!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 24 Nov 07 - 10:10 AM

Here's a nice check, and happiest of Birthdays to you: check Rapaire's meds, would you?

Mudlark fed us more turkey and delicious walnut stuffing and we sat and sang all evening. Damn that girl has a voice on her!! She is a wonderful wily and flexible musician, too -- she did torch songs on the mountain dulcimer, most beguiling.

Never mind about Rapaire, Mom. I stayed up and washed all the dishes my own self, because you worked so hard. It wasn't hard, and he coulda helped but he was knocked out on the couch, snoring, with a belly full of turkey and Four Roses.

The why he was on the couch is someone had done the most ingenious job of short-sheeting his bed, although I have no idea who, Mighta been Pat, I guess. When she gets back from D.C. you can ask her...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Nov 07 - 01:53 AM

And Mom, today is my birthday. Please send me a nice check.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Nov 07 - 12:40 AM

No Mom, I am not quilty of short-sheeting Rapaire's bed under his snug quilty. It were Stilly. However, she were provoked.

And anyway, it was Little Hawk who gave her the idea.

Remember, I am the good child.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 11:38 PM

MOM, make Rap get out of his coach couch and wash some dishes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 11:09 PM

I went out and saw a folk concert instead. Quite good. It was a Canadian duo who do a bunch of sort of medieval Celtic theme songs. A lovely evening indeed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 09:38 PM

Dear Mom,

This will be the last time you hear from me.

Until tomorrow afternoon sometime, that is. When I'm back home in my own little beddy-bye, warm and snuggly under the quilt.

Please don't let Amos have any more turkey. He's already sprouting wattles and a big old feather fan for a tail. I think it comes from gobbling.

And Stilly should be made to wash all the dishes.

I've done my part, completely and fully.

I've added class to the joint just by existing.

So I remain,

Your most humble, yet most favored, progeny,
Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 04:12 PM

Today is our feast day. Mom is the chef and I am the cook - in theory. I keep having to jab her with my elbow to get her out from in front of the sink:>) She is also forever convinced that no one who is left handed can safely wield a kitchen knife and I am bound to lose some fingertips. This in spite of the fact that we southpaws are especially blessed because of our purity. It a well known fact, after all, that everyone is born left-handed, and God doesn't make you right-handed until after you commit your first sin.

The last of the tribe should arrive in about an hour. Then there will be two turkeys downstairs watching football, and one in the oven.

If our full tummies leave room for the lungs to expand with air, Annie will bring out the guitar after the dishes are away, and we'll get in a little pickin' & grinnin'.

LIfe is good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 11:26 AM

Tomorrow I will arise around 4 a.m. in order to leave by 5 a.m. to catch the bus to Midway airport so that I can be there early enough to catch a 9:30 flight back West. Pat will have to do it too, only she's going to DC and then back West.

Jaysus....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 11:23 AM

A good night's sleep always helps after the colossal workout of cooking thanksgiving dinner. It's like a day of being pummeled by heavy equipment in the gym. You're forced into constant motion the entire day, from when you drag yourself out of bed to start processing the bird through all of the planning stages for the rest of the meal and in between all of the picking up and cleaning and digging out serving dishes and glasses and such.

Today is my day of thanksgiving, when I don't have to do anything, when the house still looks good after all of yesterday's cleaning, and when we can look forward to open face turkey sandwiches (lots of extra gravy this year after brining the bird).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 07:06 AM

Yo, Mama! I'se on the road to Mudlark's up by aso Robles. Eee ya from there much later!! Boys and gels be Haive, woncha?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 11:43 PM

Surprise, surprise, WE had snow today in North Texas! Not very much, only a few minutes of great big non-stick flakes. And earlier a little sleet. This is been a busy weather day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 10:54 PM

I will! Oh, my...I feel so special now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 10:50 PM

And I won't. Who will snatch 20,700? Remember who set you up for it....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 10:49 PM

I wasn't gonna do it. Nope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 08:17 PM

Well, there WAS my mother and grandmothers and aunts and sister and neighbors, but they weren't, you know, girls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 05:25 PM

Really? I was deeply interested in girls from about the time I could walk. But I wasn't interested in them that way, of course, until I reached puberty. It didn't stop me from falling in love with them, though...I just had little or no idea what to do about it, aside from worshipping them and attending to their every stated need. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 04:55 PM

Oh, well, hell, I got THERE when I was about eight years old. We didn't have any money to buy stuff with and I sure wasn't interested in girls although THAT changed a few years later).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 02:55 PM

You're dead right, Amos...but what you are saying is a dire threat to the entire commercial marketing system and all that it depends upon. You know that, don't you? ;-)

"When Ruthy says come see her
In her honky-tonk lagoon
Where I can watch her waltz for free
Neath her Panamanian moon
And I say, "Aw, c'mon now...
You know, you know about my debutante."
And she says, "Your debutante just knows what you need,
But I know what you want."    - Dylan

Desire. They're all looking for Ruthy and her honky-tonk lagoon, but you can't get off the wheel until you are free of all Earthly desires.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 02:41 PM

Sir, I am a humble aspirant to spiritual clarity, nothing more. Desire and its dark sister Resistance are the guardians of the steely bars of the Wheel, through which one must pass to escape.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 02:11 PM

A friend here has a 17 year old black and tan. When Miss Jackie dies, Rebecca will be devastated.

Freedom from desire? What are you, Amos, a eunuch or St. Augustine or something?


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Mudcat time: 23 October 9:45 AM EDT

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