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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 07 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 07 Jul 07 - 10:37 AM
Amos 07 Jul 07 - 10:34 AM
Amos 06 Jul 07 - 10:56 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 10:23 PM
Amos 06 Jul 07 - 10:05 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 09:53 PM
Amos 06 Jul 07 - 09:49 PM
Acme 06 Jul 07 - 08:22 PM
Amos 06 Jul 07 - 06:58 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 04:13 PM
MMario 06 Jul 07 - 04:00 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 03:50 PM
Little Hawk 06 Jul 07 - 03:12 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 02:54 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 02:53 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 02:53 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 02:53 PM
MMario 06 Jul 07 - 02:25 PM
Little Hawk 06 Jul 07 - 02:22 PM
MMario 06 Jul 07 - 02:13 PM
Little Hawk 06 Jul 07 - 02:08 PM
JennyO 06 Jul 07 - 02:00 PM
MMario 06 Jul 07 - 01:44 PM
JennyO 06 Jul 07 - 01:43 PM
MMario 06 Jul 07 - 01:42 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 01:37 PM
beardedbruce 06 Jul 07 - 01:35 PM
JennyO 06 Jul 07 - 01:35 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 01:32 PM
JennyO 06 Jul 07 - 01:32 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 01:31 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 01:28 PM
JennyO 06 Jul 07 - 01:28 PM
JennyO 06 Jul 07 - 01:28 PM
JennyO 06 Jul 07 - 01:28 PM
JennyO 06 Jul 07 - 01:27 PM
JennyO 06 Jul 07 - 01:27 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 01:26 PM
Acme 06 Jul 07 - 01:20 PM
JennyO 06 Jul 07 - 01:16 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 12:53 PM
JennyO 06 Jul 07 - 11:23 AM
MMario 06 Jul 07 - 11:04 AM
Amos 06 Jul 07 - 09:57 AM
MMario 06 Jul 07 - 09:12 AM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 09:10 AM
beardedbruce 06 Jul 07 - 09:07 AM
Rapparee 06 Jul 07 - 08:55 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM

Look quick! The sun is shining!

Gotta go mow the lawn. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 10:37 AM

Heck, that "Shane McBride" character lives entirely on beer and Tim Horton's doughnuts. And the folks in the Legion pretty much forgo the doughnuts since there's no Tim Horton's here. Talk about weird life forms...and then there's the Congress and the Presidency.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 10:34 AM

A panel of scientists convened by the country's leading scientific advisory group says the hunt for extraterrestrial life should be greatly expanded to include what they call "weird life": organisms that lack DNA or other molecules found in life as we know it.

"The committee's investigation makes clear that life is possible in forms different from those on Earth," the scientists conclude in their report, "The Limits of Organic Life in Planetary Systems," published yesterday by the National Research Council.

Other experts hailed the report as an important rethinking of the search for life.


Someone should tell them science fellers about Mom's place...weird life, just a browse away!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 10:56 PM

I am afraid your Ghastian texture is revealing itself, amigo, finally unleashed from the desperate restraint under which you have kept your ignoble secret.

Perhaps Confederate IOUs.



The Ghasts they lick their fingers,

   And the Ghasts they lick their knives;

They spill their broth on the tablecloth--

   Oh, they lead disgusting lives!

The Ghasts they talk while eating,

   And chew both loud and fast;

And that is why I'm glad that I

   Will never be a Ghast!


Largesse Burgesse Fargoesse, Duke of Ramsey
Moral, Yet a Ghast -- Lessons for Young People
Berkeshire Hathaway Collar Division Marketing Support Department
Oslo, New Hampshire, 1907


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 10:26 PM

Good jewelry? Precious metals? Negotiable bearer instruments? Rare stamps, coins, and/or books? Expensive vacations to exotic places?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 10:23 PM

With large sums of US money?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 10:05 PM

I have known you to be many things, ole friend, but this is the first time you came clean about being one of those Ghasts. I don't know how to take this, after all this time. We welcomed you and chatted with you, like a friend and a normal person, never dreaming that beneath that witty exterior lurked an actual Ghast. Now that you have come clean we might have to think a spell on just how we want to deal with this. It is not exactly comfortable or reassuring news, you will understand. You must have observed, in your many years in disguise, the reputation for perfidious, abhorrent, gruesome and perverted habits attributed to Ghasts by members of this society. While it is brave of you to confess, I must reflect on how to respond, and am open to suggestions.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:53 PM

I am aghast! I wrote "blood feud" when I should have written "blood food." I meant things like blutwurst and black pudding -- our family's way of saying, "You can wash out the stain to our honor if you siddown and have a good meal with us, and we'll pay for the beer."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:49 PM

Ah, Maggie, it is quite pleasant now in the hour of crepescule, but the midday heat is still somewhat excessive. If it were not for my boundless fascination with the performance of low-power radio links in parking lots surrounded by huge hunks of steel (carii Americanii's natural epidermal layer and skeletal structure) I would have fled to the gentle shores of the blue Pacific, but it was not to be.

Much as I enjoy my work I would rather be paid well for gadding about. Unfortunately the well-paid gadabout has been a fading breed since the advent of the automatic transmission and the Internet.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 08:22 PM

So, Amos, is it any cooler now that you're back home, or is San Diego still baking in the sunshine? (Mom missed you, but she didn't want to say it too loudly because some of that Idaho pack might have run amok at the news.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:58 PM

My, you chilluns have been soooo busy whilst I was out testing radio time-of-flight ranging equipment for accuracy and sensitivity. I yam really amazed Mom's house is still standing, with all this hot air and squabble ready to lift it right off its foundations.

Rapaire, you misconstrue the situation, my brother. The only realm in which these numbers have any value or meaning is the realm of Familia Matris, of which you, as a duly recognized and self-lubricated member, must stand in recognition and reciprocal ownership. Therefore and thereby and herewith, thou canst not argue such an issue on behalf of some other family since any such family from within the context aforementioned, must in fact be but an imaginary family and therefore without standing.

Therefore be at peace and strive to help your mother and your siblings.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 04:13 PM

Without virtue (courage, honor), without praise. Or, to put it another way: No guts, no glory.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 04:00 PM

On a field of green, a golden donkey's head holding a cloved lemon in it's mouth.

But "Without virtue, without ?" ?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 03:50 PM

Our family arms are Vert, a donkey's head erased controuny Or holding in its mouth a bezant cloved. The crest is a fist, mailed, the third finger rampant. Our family motto is "Sine Virtus, Sine Laus."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 03:12 PM

You, sir, have no shame. You're a disgrace. You will stoop to any wretched pretence to post at a predetermined number. Even Shane has more character than you do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:54 PM

Sob.

There. I'm done.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:53 PM

Sob.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:53 PM

Sob.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:53 PM

I have conferred with my brothers and sisters, and they feel that we have no recourse by to defend our family's honor (or honour) with a blood feud.

We haven't had one for a long time, so they're itchin' and rarin' ta go.

Me, I'm going to continue to sit in the corner and quietly cry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:25 PM

Now wait a minute, LH! I know that there are differences in canadian English and the brand spoken here in that states - but I refuse to believe "that" is pronounced "ack-sez".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:22 PM

No. That is pronounced "Ack-sez".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:13 PM

So . . .

Does that mean that Lizzie Bordon took an Axis and gave her father forty whackes; when with Poppa she were done, she whacked her Momma forty-one?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:08 PM

The plural of axis is axes. (pronounced "Ack-sees")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:00 PM

According to a friend of mine, Paul Spencer, the plural of axis is axises. He wrote a song called

AXISES OF EVIL (tune Brisbane Ladies/We'll rant and we'll roar)

1. Of all the world's ills, there is none that's more evil,
More gruesome nor dread than the terrorist threat,
The President says that they're really awful people,
And when he's not grinning you can tell he's upset.

CH: We'll march off to war, like good little soldiers,
We'll march off to war, for President Bush,
Until we destroy all the axises of evil,
For there's freedom to fight for and a lifestyle to push.

2. George Bush is angered by the death of civillians,
He finds it outrageous like anyone would,
So when he kills thousands and speaks about collateral,
He's not being callous, you've misunderstood.

3. Now some bombs are dirty and cause mass destruction,
But our bombs are smart and they'll solve all our woes,
Starvation and grief might appear to be a crisis,
But really we're helping as everyone knows.

4. To help foster peace we'll use words like "Islamist",
To make it appear that they're all this extreme,
Whereas our church is pure and could never be corrupted,
And of world domination it would not even dream.

5. So send us your children we'll fight against terror,
And suchlike emotions that lay people low,
We'll fight them with guns and with lots of bloody slaughter,
But don't ask who's winning or how long to go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:44 PM

I like Bruce's suggestion - after all - it's a double pinwheel and symmettrical on both the vertical and horizontal axis!

What is the plural of "axis" anyway?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:43 PM

Oh dear - what can we do now?

I tell you what, Rapaire, I'll let you have the next one, which I think is 18881. That's a pretty classy number! Then maybe our families can share them all.

*sniff* - now you've got me going!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:42 PM

Rapaire! Be a gentleman about it. MOM taught you better then that, didn't she?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:37 PM

Sob.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:35 PM

Oh, cruel, cruel world, that has such people in it.




Can't you just share it, and pass it down to BOTH families as a sign of goodwill and cooperation?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:35 PM

Sorry 'bout that. But I promise I will look after it. It's quite safe with me, and I will make my children promise to look after it when they get it too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:32 PM

Sob.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:32 PM

Heh heh - another one for the collection.

My children's inheritance is safe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:31 PM

You...you...you took my inheritance!! All that my mother had to give me and you took it! You ripped it from my bosom, where I was clutching it and held it up like a trophy!

















I'm going to go silently weep now, and mourn for my mother's lost number....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:28 PM

And if you take my Mother's num,
You'll get a paddling on your bum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:28 PM

***PINWHEEL NUMBER 18181***


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:28 PM

At eighteen thousand and one eight oh
My goal was getting close, and so.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:28 PM

At eighteen one and 79
I thought that I was doing fine


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:27 PM

At eighteen one and 78
I posted cos I couldn't wait


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:27 PM

At eighteen one and 77
We got a little closer to heaven


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:26 PM

Bee-Dubya is a hairy potter. And in a nudist camp, after a dinner of cabbage and beans, you can often find a hairy pooter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:20 PM

Not much Harry Potter stuff here, our recent conversions were to the Kwik-E-Marts for the Simpson's movie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:16 PM

Looking at that bomb you linked to earlier Rapaire, if you looked at it sideways, some of those markings look sorta like a pair of sunglasses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 12:53 PM

The whole deal sounds pretty Harry to me. I hope everyone has a great time and nothing goes Ron.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 11:23 AM

You could say they've gone potty then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 11:04 AM

hey MOM! just thought I'd post a link to what my home town is doing for Harry Potter Day!

http://capecodnow.net/artman/publish/sandwich/Town_Transformed_In_Celebration_Of_Book_Release.shtml


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:57 AM

I have never seen Fat Boy in a closeup picture before, and I am mystified by the ritualistic pattern markings along the joints. Perhaps they are to invoke the Dark Spirit to come and help collect the fried souls...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:12 AM

well - that probably depends on whether the Idaho laws about fireworks are written along the lines of "anything not mentioned is legal" or "anythingnot mentioned is illegal". if the former, I'm betting the nuke would be legal under the fireworks code.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:10 AM

Well, the EOD Teams have left and took with them what looked for all the world like this.   I don't want to know where they got it, how they got it, who they got it from, what they were planning to do with it, or when they got it. I hope against hope that they thought it was a beer cooler and not what I think it is.

The EOD people have taken it to the Idaho National Lab, so I think that it is what I think it is.

Celebrating the Glorious Fourth by setting off a 20 KT nuclear device, even way out away from everybody, would probably violate Idaho's laws about fireworks. Just a guess, mind you, but I'll be it would.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:07 AM

hmmm.. My post did not.


It has been cool here ( due to the absence of those politicians on the campaign trail not providing hot air). A cold front is moving in, so we expect wet weather.

The Smithsonian Folklife Festival seems to be going well. I've only been able to get to the site on Sunday, as I've been working every day. But the Participant Hospitality parties are fun, and it is a good group there.

Anybody need a LEFT-handed 5 string banjo?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 08:55 AM

Is it hot in DC? It's so hot here that all the lawyers are working in the briefs.


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