Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 11 Apr 07 - 01:01 PM
Acme 11 Apr 07 - 12:55 PM
Amos 11 Apr 07 - 10:13 AM
MMario 11 Apr 07 - 09:30 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 07 - 09:21 AM
Amos 11 Apr 07 - 09:17 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 07 - 09:06 AM
Acme 11 Apr 07 - 12:05 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 10:11 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 07 - 10:00 PM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 03:08 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 07 - 11:48 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 10:55 AM
MMario 10 Apr 07 - 10:24 AM
Acme 10 Apr 07 - 10:20 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 07 - 09:15 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 03:26 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Apr 07 - 12:47 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 12:28 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 12:25 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 12:24 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 12:23 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 12:22 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 12:20 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 12:18 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 12:17 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 12:16 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 12:15 AM
Amos 10 Apr 07 - 12:14 AM
Acme 09 Apr 07 - 11:38 PM
Amos 09 Apr 07 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 07 - 10:25 PM
Acme 09 Apr 07 - 10:16 PM
Amos 09 Apr 07 - 10:03 PM
Amos 09 Apr 07 - 09:33 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 07 - 05:33 PM
Amos 09 Apr 07 - 03:56 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 07 - 03:41 PM
Amos 09 Apr 07 - 01:30 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 07 - 01:05 PM
Amos 09 Apr 07 - 11:25 AM
Acme 09 Apr 07 - 11:11 AM
Amos 09 Apr 07 - 09:58 AM
Rapparee 09 Apr 07 - 08:54 AM
Rapparee 09 Apr 07 - 08:54 AM
Acme 08 Apr 07 - 11:58 PM
Amos 08 Apr 07 - 10:28 PM
Acme 08 Apr 07 - 09:30 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 07 - 09:23 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 01:01 PM

The Lensman Series, a series of fantastic futuristic sci-fi by a chap named E.E. "Doc" Smith, written about 50 years ago and a major artifact of the Golden Era of Sci Fi.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 12:55 PM

Grandchildren of the Lens?

I don't have a clue as to what that is.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 10:13 AM

Yeah, I have one of those bracelets, too, packed away with my leisure suits from the 70's somewhere in a box. It probably needs a new battery by now.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 09:30 AM

So, what was Worsel really like? and Nadreck?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 09:21 AM

Did I ever mention that I'm one of the Grandchildren of the Lens?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 09:17 AM

Sorry, man, but I think you need to move to South Dakota and take Dakoting lessons.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 09:06 AM

His code name is "Sam The Eagle" because Amos is soooooooo right-wing.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 12:05 AM

tsk tsk

He's just stringing you along, Amos.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 10:11 PM

Yeah, I still get a grin out of that one. And you type it so well, too.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 10:00 PM

I wooden know.

Didja hear about the time Jesus was out walking around Heaven incognito, and he wandered into a small, obscure section of the Heavenly City. Down a quaint alley he heard hammering and sawing and, having spent part of his life as a carpenter, he was interested and walked down to the door of a small shop.

There inside was an old, bearded man, his gnarled hands using a plane to smooth a board. Jesus said, "That's nice work, old man."

And the old man replied, "Yes, I enjoy it even here. I only wish that my son was here to work with me. He was a very special person, though...he wasn't human. And I haven't seen him in many, many years."

And a light dawned in Jesus's mind, and he said, choking back tears, he exclaimed, "FATHER!"

And the old man looked back and said, "Pinnochio?"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 03:08 PM

I suspect most occasions when you find things to be wooden, it is pretty derivative and forced, old friend. Just, you know, a suspicion...


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 11:48 AM

I found the cat's piano playing to be wooden, forced, and derivative. Much like my own.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 10:55 AM

I think I liked the student Mozart rendition in that YouTube better, musically. The cat would be more persuasive if she didn't keep looking around for an escape path. :)


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 10:24 AM

If you'll pardon the digression into muysic releated tales - over the weekend I found about 20 verses to Ton O' Bedlam-- so I'm gonna mix and match and pick and choose and come up with my "own" version.

Gotta an invite to sing at an open mike at the church saturday - and have a gig at the Hudson Valley MayFaire first week of May. So it's timely.

Now back to your irregularly scheduled BS.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 10:20 AM

Thanks, Amos, we knew you could do it!

To show my gratitude, I'll let this little girl serenade you for a while.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 10:10 AM

What, Mom? Yeah, I got first aid and my bruises are all treated. The splinters were pulled and the burns have been bandaged. Yeah, I'm fine, thanks for asking. And I got some sleep. Yeah, I knw we got past 17 Grand thanks to all that doggerel. Glad I could help, sweet of you to say so. No, I haven't gotten cards or letters. Rapaireposted another boat song. I'm glad you liked the rhymes. You know I allus will do what I can do. No, actually, no-one else has said anything, but that doesn't mean....Mom!! Not the bamboo rod!! They don't deserve that! They wus busy!! Please, cool off, wouldja? Here, let me get you as martini...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 09:15 AM

THE MARY L. McKAY

Frederick W. Wallace

From Portland, Maine, to Yarmouth Sound
Two-twenty miles we ran
In eighteen hours, my bully boys,
Now beat that if you can.
The crew said it was seamanship;
The skipper, he kept dumb.
But the force that drove our vessel
Was the power of Portland rum.

Come all ye hardy haddockers
Who winter fishin' go.
And brave the seas upon the banks
In stormy wind and snow
And ye who love hard driving
Come listen to my lay
Of the run we made from Portland
On the Mary L. McKay.

We hung the muslin on her
As the wind began to hum.
Twenty hardy Nova Scotia men
Chock full of Portland rum.
Mainsail, fores'l, jib and jumbo
On that wild December day
As we passed ole Cape Elizabeth
And slugged for Fundy Bay.

        Storm along, drive along
        Punch her through the rips.
        Northeast gale's a blowin',
        And we'll take all that she gives.
        We're homeward bound to Yarmouth Sound
        Two-twenty miles today
        We made the run on Portland rum
        On the Mary L. McKay.

We slammed her by Monhegan
As the gale began to scream.
Our vessel took to dancing
In a way that was no dream.
A howler o'er the taffrail,
As we steered sou'east away
For she was a hound for running
Was the Mary L. McKay.

We slammed her to Matinicus.
The skipper hauled the log
"Sixteen knots! Lord Harry!
Ain't she just the gal to jog?"
The half-canned wheelsman shouted
As he swung her on her way
"Just watch me tear the mainsail off
The Mary L. McKay."

        Chorus

The rum was passing merrily
And the crew was feeling grand
Longnecks dancing in our wake
From where we left the land.
Our skipper he kept sober
For he knew how things could lay,
And he made us furl the mains'l
On the Mary L. McKay.

Now the captain didn't care to make
His wife a widow yet.
He swung her off to Yarmouth Cape
With just her fores'l set
Past Fourchu in the mornin'
And shut in at break of day
And soon in shelterin' harbor
Lay the Mary L. McKay.

        Chorus

From Portland, Maine, to Yarmouth Sound
Two-twenty miles we ran.
In eighteen hours, my bully boys,
Now beat that if you can.
The crew said it was seamanship;
The skipper he kept dumb.
But the force that drove our vessel
Was the power of Portland rum.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 03:26 AM

It appears there has been a small dedicated clump of inventors making successful water-powered internal combustion cars.

I say let's build us some of these.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:47 AM

When Mom was seventeen,
it was a very good year....

(I'd add some little musical notes, but I lost the code for them when my computer crashed a few weeks ago and I'm too lazy to find them again.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:28 AM

Now somewhere MOABites explain,
Why they had to yield the ghost,
An' why they could not make the push
To that seventeen-thousandth post.
But them excuses don't count for much,
They're jes' music for the birds,
Cuz' no-one ever accused Big A
Of running out of words.

Joseph Morgan Homer, Poet Laureate, Order of the Voewels
Hymns of the Great Thread
Feinbottom Puffery and Wynde
Moab, Utah, 2007


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:25 AM

Well the wind came down, and the sun came out,
There was cheer across the land.
As Amos carried Mom and all,
Past the Seventeen of Grand.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:24 AM

Khandu was nowhere to be seen,
An' Tweed had jumped the line.
But ole Amos said, "Doncha worry none"
"Here's Sixteen-nine-nine-nine."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:23 AM

As the storm tore off the roof above,
And the hour was growing late,
Ole Amos lit a stogie up,
On the sixteen-nine-nine-eight.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:22 AM

At sixteen-nine-nine seven
LH pulled out for the woods.
And Bunn, well he was lying low,
An' BL was jes' no good.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:20 AM

There was no-one feeling cheerful,
Pore Still was feeling sick.
But ole Amos kept on typing on,
Through sixteen-nine-nine-six


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:18 AM

By sixteen-nine and ninety five
The wind'd begun to shriek
Rapaire'd gone after golf balls,
Thet were filling up the creek.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:17 AM

The sky was all afire,
And the hail broke down the door.
But someone was still posting,
We hit sixteen-nine-nine-four.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:16 AM

At sixteen nine and ninety three,
The lightning tore through the halls,
And noone knew who'd pull as through,
Or if anyone had the balls.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:15 AM

By sixteen nine and ninety-two
The sky had turned to blood.
There was hail as big as softballs
Slamming into a sea of mud.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:14 AM

We was sixteen nine and ninety,
When the winds began to blow,
And one by one all of MOAB's kids
Had somewhere else to go.
...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 11:38 PM

Amos, it's up to you, fella, and maybe Rap, if he isn't out hunting golf balls in the snow by flashlight. I'm headed to bed soon. 10 to go to another of mom's many small hurdles. We're counting on you, kid!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 11:21 PM

I like that Rapaire always has something from some obscure source to throw on the table, like a road-killed Armadillo in a Texas cathouse. :D


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 10:25 PM

SCUTTLEBUTT
Chuck Romanoff

See the burly longshoreman, showing off his biceps,
Heavin' and a'haulin' mighty freighters in and out.
All of the townfolk think he's quite a guy, 'cept
He don't lift a finger to help around the house.

Scuttlebutt! Ain't it a shame?
Nobody knows. Nobody's to blame.
The truth ain't pretty. I think you'll agree. Just
Don't ya tell nobody that you heard it from me.

Do you see the dandy yachtsman, posing at the wheel,
The picture of a regular marina buccaneer?
But he doesn't know his rudder from his keel.
It's a jolly good job he doesn't ever leave the pier.

Yonder is a fisherman, wading in a brook
On a weekend with the fellas, feelin' wild and free--
But the bold desperado's afraid to bait the hook
He says "Will one of you people please do this for me?"

Listen to the folk singer, feelin' kinda jaunty,
Singin' out the chorus of a ballad sublime.
He's a three-chord-wonder, thinks he's Belafonte
You know he's gonna bore us with "one more time."

Over and over, day after day
Comin' and a'goin' like ever before,
Gossip is so ugly, try as you may
It comes innuendo and out of your door.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 10:16 PM

MOM! The boys are slipping again--they've started talking about Music!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 10:03 PM

And furthermore:

Ways of Man Are Passing Strange
Gordon Bok

The ways of man are passing strange
He buys his freedom and he counts his change
Then he lets the wind his days arrange
And he calls the tide his master

Oh the days, oh the days
Oh the fine long summer days
The fish come rolling in the bays
And he swore he'd never leave me

But the days grow short and the year gets old
And the fish won't stay where the water's cold
And if they're going to fill the hold
They've got to go offshore to find them

So they go outside on the raving deep
And they pray the Lord their soul to keep
But the waves will roll them all to sleep
And the tide will be their keeper

Oh the tide, oh the tide
Oh you dark and you bitter tide
If I can't have him by my side
I guess I have to leave him

I gave you one, I gave you two
The best that rotten old boat could do
You wouldn't be happy till I gave you three
But I'll be damned if you'll get me

Oh the tide, oh the tide,
Oh you dark and you bitter tide
If I can't have him by my side
The water's welcome to him

Oh Lord I know that the day will come
When one less boat comes slogging home
I don't mind knowing that he'll be the one
But I can't spend my whole life praying

I gave you one, I gave you two
The best that poor old boat could do
You'd have it all before you're through
Well I've got no more to give you

Copyright Folk-Legacy Records, Inc.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 09:33 PM



Oh, the old Ernestina and the Anna Christina
All rafted up there at Digby.
While one was a plug and the other pristiner
But both of them fine schooner rig-by.
And we went for a ride on the four-story tide
A sight to every land-lubber
The tidal fantastic called for gangways elastic
And bow, stern and springlines of rubber.

    O the old schooner life has its ups and downs
    At least that's the case there in old Digby town
    You jump to the ratlines to get to the deck
    But watch that first step, or you might break your neck!

We invited the town, all of Digby came down
To see them two schooners so gaffy
Together, some two hundred years they'd been 'round
But never with crews quite so daffy.
But gettin' the folks from the docks to the decks
Without compound fractures of backs, heads and necks
Was as tricky as gettin' 'em back to the docks
With the water behavin' like Panama Locks.

Well, I'm happy tell that nobody fell
Although there weren't no good solutions;
For the rollin' and twitchin' and tossin' and pitchin'
In time to the tide's evolution.

It came down to a case of schooner elevation
An oceanic reaction to lunar agitation
And whether a little old lady mught ruin her vacation
By bustin' her bum on the decks.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 05:33 PM

CAPE ST. MARY'S
Otto Kelland

Take me back to my western boat,
Let me fish off Cape St. Mary's,
Where the hangdown sail and the foghorns wail,
With my friends, the Browns and the Clearys,
In the swells off Old St. Mary's.

Let me feel my dory lift
To the broad Atlantic 'cumbers,
Where the tide rip swirl and the wild ducks furl,
And the ocean calls the numbers,
In the swells off Old St. Mary's.

Let me sail up golden bays,
With my oilskins all a-streamin',
Where the thunder squalled, where I hauled my trawl,
And the old Cape Anne's a-gleamin'.
In the swells off Old St. Mary's.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 03:56 PM

YEs. I am thinking now of a ceremony I recently performed in which a friend's ashes were strewn on the majestic blue waters of the Pacific. Although we watched them twirl and drift in the wake, we paid little attention to them after a few minutes, turning our attention to things of more human interest. And a certain flask belonging to one of the party. But now, in retrospect, i wonder where they went in their various travels, those ashes, and which if any of them attracted the attention of the various skipjacks, rock bass, dorados and other fish of deep water in these parts. There are worse ways to go, as far as physical bits are concerned.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 03:41 PM

...I'll be used as fishing bait?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 01:30 PM

Sigh. I am becoming a Majestic Elder, nothing tree-ish about it. I have a deep voice, graying temples, accrued Wisdom, crinkly laugh lines, bright shoe-button eyes, pthe Patience that Comes from Seeing Much of Life, a long checklist of Interesting Experience, a huge collection of Wise Clichés, and a bent frame, man. All the qualifications. Plus steely determination and hard-earned courage in the face of adversity. Definitely Majestic Elder material.

If you continue to strive, grashopper, maybe some day...


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 01:05 PM

Amos denies what I said because it's embarrassing to him. He actually suffers from a rare disease, Arboritis, and is slowly becoming a tree (they think it will be a box elder and attract stinky bugs, not something majestic like an oak).

I thought that I should never see        
Poor old Amos as a tree.        

Poems are made by fools like me,        
But only Amos became a tree.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 11:25 AM

You may be sniffing out a major national scandal, there, Still. Think of all the innocent young grads who are waylaid by the foul psychememetic brew wafting around in those big closets where they are sent to find PostIts, file folders, roller-ball pens, Dymo labeling tape, blank CDs, little yellow pads of paper with sticky backs, highlighters, and so on.

No wonder interns and new hires sometimes succumb to animal urges in such places.

Consider, too, the scale of this dastardly industrial corruption of our youth nation-wide. The entire economy rolls along on the backs of closets like these, and on the unsuspecting labors of white-collar beginners who are laid low by these mind-altering substances.

It is a scandal of epic proportions, as big as global warming. Someone should run up some numbers and alert Al Gore.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 11:11 AM

No, not library paste. But I'm convinced that the supply locker in the library administration office holds some hallucinogenic properties. It's the tape cupboard that knocks me for a loop. Adhesive tape, Scotch tape, masking tape, recording tape (I think they still have some reel-to-reel in there, along with cassettes), flagging, and wide yello "Danger!" tape to keep people away from ranges being moved and new air conditioning units, etc. All of that plastic and adhesive gives off a lot of hydrocarbons. Or something.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 09:58 AM

Well, Rapaire's delusory flights of imagination notwithstanding the truth is I was putting down some planking on the rafters so the space could be navigated. Then, repairing some gaps in the old hot air ducting joints and remedying some sloppy workmanship in the bathrom fan installations.

I return more and more often tot he question of psychotropic substances in Rapaire's case. Perhaps library paste?


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 08:54 AM

You could say that then his bark will be worse than his bite.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 08:54 AM

Amos does that. It's his exercise. He goes into the crawlspace above the kitchen and balances 2 x 4 on his back. This puts him in touch with the Eternal Spruce, the inner core of "tree", Ygdrisil, and all that other tree stuff. You see, Amos is trying to reach "Dicot" and then he will be Brother To All That Have Xylem And Phloem -- only one step from Arborhood.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Apr 07 - 11:58 PM

What were you doing in the ceiling crawlspace?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 07 - 10:28 PM

I spent four hours on my hands and kneecaps balancing on two by fours in the ceiling crawlspace this morning. I feel like carpet dirt from two years ago. But Then we watched a feel-good movie about a gang of teenage Japanese schoolgirls who finally figure out how to make a swing band. Oy, the things they make movies of these days.



A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Apr 07 - 09:30 PM

Not a good feeling, I would imagine.

I'm feeling better, more energetic. I'm working on losing a few pounds.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 07 - 09:23 PM

Perhaps Rapaire is about ten times older than God. Or at least feels that way right now.

Backaways a friend of mine arose and as he started the coffee stretched and remarked, "Boy, I feel like I've been dead for three days!"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 18 October 1:04 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.