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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 12 Dec 11 - 10:01 AM
Rapparee 12 Dec 11 - 10:28 AM
Amos 12 Dec 11 - 10:49 AM
Acme 12 Dec 11 - 11:11 AM
Amos 12 Dec 11 - 01:39 PM
gnu 12 Dec 11 - 02:32 PM
Amos 12 Dec 11 - 03:01 PM
Little Hawk 12 Dec 11 - 04:31 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 11 - 05:01 PM
Little Hawk 12 Dec 11 - 06:04 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 11 - 08:11 PM
Acme 12 Dec 11 - 10:28 PM
Amos 12 Dec 11 - 10:41 PM
Little Hawk 12 Dec 11 - 11:57 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 11 - 11:59 PM
Amos 13 Dec 11 - 09:35 AM
Little Hawk 13 Dec 11 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 13 Dec 11 - 10:09 AM
Acme 13 Dec 11 - 12:34 PM
Amos 13 Dec 11 - 01:35 PM
Acme 13 Dec 11 - 04:40 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 13 Dec 11 - 06:22 PM
gnu 13 Dec 11 - 06:48 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 11 - 08:24 PM
Eiseley 13 Dec 11 - 09:16 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 11 - 09:31 PM
Acme 13 Dec 11 - 09:32 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 11 - 10:13 PM
Amos 13 Dec 11 - 10:44 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 14 Dec 11 - 01:54 AM
Acme 14 Dec 11 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 11 - 10:50 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 14 Dec 11 - 11:39 AM
gnu 14 Dec 11 - 01:41 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 11 - 01:45 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 11 - 02:18 PM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 11 - 02:36 PM
Amos 14 Dec 11 - 03:09 PM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 11 - 03:18 PM
Amos 14 Dec 11 - 07:53 PM
Acme 14 Dec 11 - 08:04 PM
Amos 14 Dec 11 - 08:35 PM
gnu 14 Dec 11 - 08:53 PM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 11 - 11:25 PM
Acme 15 Dec 11 - 10:17 AM
Amos 15 Dec 11 - 10:27 AM
Amos 15 Dec 11 - 11:10 AM
Little Hawk 15 Dec 11 - 11:55 AM
gnu 15 Dec 11 - 01:26 PM
Amos 15 Dec 11 - 01:56 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 10:01 AM

gnu - But he still insists on hangin' around, doesn't he?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 10:28 AM

I got a right to bear arms an' I want 'em both ta work, dammit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 10:49 AM

Well there's your problem right there. You keep insisting on this bit about bear arms. But you're not specced out for bear arms, Rapp. Settle for a human-size pair and it will work much better, especially with the shorter nails for picking yournose and all.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 11:11 AM

Yeah, I don't think bears have opposable thumbs, do they? They hook stuff instead of grip stuff. You'd shred most of your books, Pat wouldn't let you near her quilts, and if you forgot and scratched yourself in your sleep you could wake up dead, having bled out during the night. [aghast expression!]

Amos, I flashed on an old conversation here, one of Hildebrand's few posts, when he complained about the problem older men experience of hitting the water with the pouch when sitting. It was a funny thread - maybe you were too young at the time to appreciate his grumbles?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 01:39 PM

Dear aul' Hildebrand. HE and Joy visited one day on their way back to ANZO. He not only knew the original version of Patrick Spence, but he recognized the obscure reference in my "Mrs. Henley's Revenge" (Mudcat Song Challenge #1) which comes from a Colonial-era naughty ballad about an adulterer from an earlier time.

Fortunately, I am not that low-slung, and am happy to continue to raise the, um, banner of Male Micturition sans Syncope.

I am fond of my point-and-tink interface.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 02:32 PM

I got me an elongated toilet bowl to avoid cold dick surprise when half asleep. Of course, that's a different matter as I don't squat to pee. Oh... and my 3.5 gallon per flush (REAL gallons) stands a mighty 17" at the rim.

Of course, i am at that age where the elongated boal is sometimes "useful". >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 03:01 PM

Better to occasionally miss while peeing than to have to miss peeing altogether; we never know what our blessings are until they are gone, but I am sure having a good pee when needed is among the best.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 04:31 PM

And any Dachshund would agree with THAT! They're positively religious about urinating. It may be their most important daily ritual.

Others are...

1. Barking at the world in general, first thing in the morning, just to let everyone know who is in charge. 10 or 15 minutes of noise will suffice.

2. Barking at strangers and strange noises...3 to 5 minutes will suffice.

3. Keeping the carpet in place.

4. Attending to itches at "the far end".

5. Reminding you that they are starving to death!

6. Singing along with police and ambulance sirens.

7. Crapping on the neighbour's lawn...if at all possible.

8. Investigating all sources of truly vile odors and rolling in them.

9. Disposing of unattended fook that might go bad. (a public service)

10. Extending the boundaries of Olympic Sleeping.

11. Farting...and then looking around as if to say, "I wonder who did that?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 05:01 PM

Don't forget that they protect you from terrorist squirrels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 06:04 PM

Yes.

And that should have read "unattended food", not "fook". It is Scotsman who take care of unattended fook, much to the alarm of many innocent sheep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 08:11 PM

Scotsman? Was it just one Scotsman or was (as I would guess from reading your post) "Scotsman" was his last name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 10:28 PM

Maybe it's simply that second glass of wine speaking, but LH's dachshund seems to be particularly funny this evening! (My dogs do much the same thing with most of the items enumerated, except since they're girls they're not obsessed with peeing on everything they see.)

Amos, Joy and Hildebrand were also here in Texas on that trip. It was a joy to meet them!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 10:41 PM

That would be Barnabas Scotsmen, born Edinboro 1927, renowned scholar on the migratory habits of the Gray Hibernian fook, but eventually locked up for his incurable appetite for molesting unattended fooks in stray gorsebushes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 11:57 PM

It was another damn typo, Rap! Should have read "Scotsmen" (as in the plural of Scot).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 11:59 PM

Shoulda been locked up. Gorse and furze got nasty thorns. Nobody in their right mind goes molesting anything in them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 09:35 AM

IT's a hard thing to watch when a good man's thumbs begin to go...all those might-have-beens, and the cold wind of mortality blowing through the windows in your heart. A hard thing to watch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 09:37 AM

Ah well, but look forward to what lies beyond, Amos. Freedom and new beginnings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 10:09 AM

'tis not as deep as a well, nor as wide as a church door, but 'twill serve, 'twill serve. Ask for me tomorrow and you will find me a repaired man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 12:34 PM

Arthroscopic, hopefully?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 01:35 PM

I thrill with joy, delight and glee
To find Rapaire a repairee;
When he was hurt, I too was scared!
And I am glad he's been Rapaire'd.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 04:40 PM

This is for Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 06:22 PM

I hearn that the Bolthole From Boise has a got a hurt arm and can't use it, eh?

I figger this has gotta be the perfect time to challunge the fliphead to a boxin' match!

You are toast, man. I will flippin' defelnicrate you! The match will last only 2 blows, eh? I hit you. You hit the flippin' floor!

Or maybe I will flippin' play with you a bit just to, like, punish you, eh? And stretch it out to 3 rounds. You are sooooo dead, man.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 06:48 PM

SRS... A. Why collide?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 08:24 PM

Dear Shame,

Look dude, I've taught hand-to-hand combat. Boxing is NOT hand-to-hand combat, it's a stylized battering match. So, if you'd like a match I strongly suggest that you put the gloves over your crotch. Then I can pivot right, scrape your patella to your instep and bounce on it, and at the same time slam the bottom of my left hand forcibly into your nose. This will not only cripple you for life, but drive nose splinters into whatever is in your cranial cavity. But I promise, as you fall, I'll punt your footballs the length of the room so that your fall will be broken and you won't hit your head hard against the floor.

Would you prefer knives or guns instead? How about clubs?

Your fiend,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 09:16 PM

What a great poem about our Rapaire, Amos! That's one of the things I like most about MOM---the outstanding poetical offerings.

Right now I'm making Cream of Potato soup for the library staff. We're putting in new carpet, so that involves moving thousands and thousands of books. Since many of those volumes are in my Children's area, I figured the least I could do would be to feed the crew. If anyone would like a bowl, I'll dish one up for you virtually.

Too bad Rapparee has to fast from midnight tonight until after his surgery, or I'd bring him a bowl.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 09:31 PM

And his surgery is at 2:30 or 3 tomorrow afternoon.

We'll be home for Christmas this year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 09:32 PM

Eiseley, maybe you can meet him at the house tomorrow evening with a warmed up bowl! Saves keeping it till christmas!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 10:13 PM

According to the doctor, I'll be eating dinner and breakfast in the hospital.

Here's the conclusion of the MRI report:

Proximally retracted complete full-thickness tear of the distal biceps tendon, believed to involve both the short and long heads.

In addition, there is probably a partial tear in the of the common extensor tendon at its insertion on the lateral epicondyle, with epicondylitis.

The muscles have retracted towards my shoulder about 3 to 7 cm.

Now you know. And I'll be wearing a half-cast (no foolin'!) for a couple of weeks. On the bottom, or lower-cast, side of my arm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 10:44 PM

Because making those guys collide at near C speeds is the closest we can get to the kind of interactions that originally spawned particles, and presumably, the Higgs boson as well. That's my guess. It's odd, you know--the whole 20thC was set on a changed course when Lorenz and Fitzgerald proved there was N invisible aetheric field. Now the HRC is threatening to prove the existence of the similarly mysterious Higgs field. I am curious what this does to the wave-particle duality proposition if proven. I suspect there will be unforeseen consequences, yowzah!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 01:54 AM

Yeah, right.

So when are the dudes in the white suits comin' to take you away, Amos?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 09:32 AM

Who'da thunk it? At one time, William Shatner played Archie Goodwin! Pix are few.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 10:50 AM

There was a young fellow named Fisk
Whose fencing was exceedingly brisk.
So fast was his action
The Fitzgerald contraction
Turned his rapier to a disk.

Amos, you can only disprove what you cannot prove. So the Lorentz-Fitzgerald conjecture was only such until it was proven, so now it appears that it is soon to be no longer conjectural.

By the way, Schrödinger's cat is dead.

They've also exhumed Michelson and Morley, wrapped them in copper wire and reburied them between magnets; they generate enough power to light the hamlet of Blind River.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 11:39 AM

Youse people are all nuts, eh? You would not be acksepptible in God's Country...North ONtario. Most patrticuler, you would not be acseptablle in Blind River, know'm sayin'? We laff at yer kind in Blind River.

- Shane

p.s. What the flip is Fitzgerald's Contranction?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 01:41 PM

Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick. It's the premise of a theory postulated by two gay Irish scientists.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 01:45 PM

Ya know, Shame, you never did respond to my offer a few posts back. But since you obviously don't want to deal with me, even if I'm one-handed, how about a go at la savate? Maybe we can do it when I'm just out of surgery this afternoon and I'm still groggy from the anesthetic -- you'll still lose, but you'll have a chance (albeit a very, very, very thin one).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 02:18 PM

After much research, I have found Shame McBride's heraldry:

On a field azure a dungheap sable and the motto "Ego homo hebes sum" enscrolled above all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 02:36 PM

LOL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 03:09 PM

Rapp spends so much time lashing out at imnaginary critturs, it's no wonder he hurt his arm. IT's a wonder he finds time to create the universe moment to moment, what with all the time he spends chaffing at Shame and Chongo and such.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 03:18 PM

As I have pointed out, Amos, you are yourself an imaginary construction, a self-created ego shell that prances about on the stage of life launching witty verbal shafts such as "jejune" and using fashionably outdated phrases such as "I swan" to reduce others to stunned silence as you bury them under an avalanche of equisitely crafted sesquipdelia.

As such, you act out an interesting and entertaining role to be sure, and one which I think has added color and amusement to our world, but never, sir, NEVER imagine that you are any realer than the various "fictional" characters I have created. You just seem realer in this specific vibratory spectrum we inhabit, that's all, but on the streets of Chongo's Chicago you would seem ghostly, insubstantial, a mere phantasm drifing eerily on the wind, soon to vanish like a puff of smoke.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 07:53 PM

Easily and glibly said, you bog-born jackanapes, sir, but I assure you I am not only more real than all your two-bit dream critturs, I am also better looking and more experienced, wiser and smarter, defter, cannier, nimbler and more attractive.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 08:04 PM

Yeah, Amos, but you pass out when you pee. That's a bit of a drawback . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 08:35 PM

So? One lousy faint and I am banned from all agreed-upon Reality? This disqualifies me? Come on. The Victorian ladies, than whom no-one was realler, used to faint at the mention of limbs!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 08:53 PM

Bing does not trnslate from Latin to English? How lame is that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 11:25 PM

"Bing"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 10:17 AM

Crosby. He's channeling for gnu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 10:27 AM

"The mass of a particle, much like the mass of a truck, is the resistance you'd feel were you to push on it. The question is, where does this resistance come from? The answer, according to Higgs's idea, is that all of space is filled with an invisible substance ? the Higgs field ? which acts kind of like a pervasive molasses, exerting a drag force as particles try to accelerate through it. The "stickier" a particle is, the more the molasses-like Higgs field affects it, and the more massive the particle appears.

The emptiest of empty space, vacuumed clean of matter and radiation, would still be permeated by the Higgs field. Higgs thus suggested a rewriting of the very definition of nothingness, filling otherwise empty space with a substance capable of bestowing upon particles their mass".

I jus6t don't see why this is so compelling in contrast to the dismissal of the luminiferous aether. It makes me go "What the fuck?". This is why I am not a physicist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 11:10 AM

Lorentz-FitzGerald contraction, also called space contraction , in relativity physics, is the shortening of an object along the direction of its motion relative to an observer. Dimensions in other directions are not contracted. The concept of the contraction was proposed by the Irish physicist George FitzGerald in 1889, and it was thereafter independently developed by Hendrik Lorentz of the Netherlands.

The Michelson-Morley experiment in the 1880s had challenged the postulates of classical physics by proving that the speed of light is the same for all observers, regardless of their relative motion. FitzGerald and Lorentz attempted to preserve the classical concepts by demonstrating the manner in which space contraction of the measuring apparatus would reduce the apparent constancy of the speed of light to the status of an experimental artifact.

There will be a quiz.

It will be open-head.


Professor A
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 11:55 AM

Something is going "tweet" in your head, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 01:26 PM

"... The question is, where does this resistance come from?..."

Inertia f = m * a... no?

"... by proving that the speed of light is the same for all observers, regardless of their relative motion."

This proof emperically says to me that c is constant. That is, that c is not dependent upon the observer. IF the challenge addresses the observers' perception, I initially find it emperically incorrect... what if I am travelling at c - 1 and you are stationary? Would our perceptions not differ? Or is there a point of reference for each observer upon which to judge c?

Having stated and asked those, I really don't give two shits from Tuesday although I do enjoy The Big Bang Theory TV sitcom. I'd rather watch a light-hearted comedy ABOUT physics than take physics.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 01:56 PM

Little Hawk, enough of your meretricious trolling, your cavalier snidities, your whack-a-mole rhetorical jabs!! I did you the favor of answering your question expklicitly, only to be insulted. What kind of manners is that? Not the kind Mom taught you, I am sure.

Gnu--I don't understand why the Lorenz contraction seems right along the axis of acceleration and not in other dimensions. But it is similar in some respects to the much better known Doppler effect in sound when a car or train goes by and changes the pitch of the sound. Like this.


A


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