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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 03 Aug 06 - 02:14 PM
Rapparee 03 Aug 06 - 01:35 PM
Amos 03 Aug 06 - 01:14 PM
Rapparee 03 Aug 06 - 12:09 PM
MMario 03 Aug 06 - 11:19 AM
Acme 03 Aug 06 - 11:14 AM
MMario 03 Aug 06 - 11:08 AM
Amos 03 Aug 06 - 11:05 AM
Amos 03 Aug 06 - 11:04 AM
Rapparee 03 Aug 06 - 08:55 AM
MMario 03 Aug 06 - 08:19 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 06 - 10:15 PM
Acme 02 Aug 06 - 09:59 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 06 - 09:11 PM
Amos 02 Aug 06 - 08:45 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 06 - 06:34 PM
Amos 02 Aug 06 - 06:20 PM
Acme 02 Aug 06 - 03:00 PM
MMario 02 Aug 06 - 11:15 AM
Amos 02 Aug 06 - 11:13 AM
Amos 02 Aug 06 - 09:22 AM
MMario 02 Aug 06 - 09:19 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 06 - 09:14 AM
Bunnahabhain 02 Aug 06 - 05:43 AM
Amos 01 Aug 06 - 11:31 PM
Rustic Rebel 01 Aug 06 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 06 - 10:33 PM
Amos 01 Aug 06 - 08:17 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 06 - 06:21 PM
Amos 01 Aug 06 - 01:23 PM
Acme 01 Aug 06 - 01:20 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 06 - 01:07 PM
Acme 01 Aug 06 - 01:07 PM
Amos 01 Aug 06 - 12:54 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 06 - 11:43 AM
MMario 01 Aug 06 - 11:37 AM
Amos 01 Aug 06 - 11:33 AM
Acme 01 Aug 06 - 11:19 AM
MMario 01 Aug 06 - 09:10 AM
Amos 01 Aug 06 - 09:08 AM
Rapparee 01 Aug 06 - 09:05 AM
MMario 01 Aug 06 - 08:16 AM
Amos 31 Jul 06 - 11:43 PM
Acme 31 Jul 06 - 11:10 PM
Amos 31 Jul 06 - 07:28 PM
Amos 31 Jul 06 - 06:40 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 06 - 06:22 PM
Amos 31 Jul 06 - 05:58 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 06 - 02:40 PM
GUEST,Bunnahabhain 31 Jul 06 - 02:25 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 02:14 PM

Just because it's true, Rapaire, doesn't mean it's not B.S. Especially in your area!!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 01:35 PM

Branding. Yup, all the companies today talk about "branding": Toyota, Coca-Cola, all of them. The idea is to became so identified with a brand that you immediately identify when you hear the word.

Now, out here in the Wild West "branding" has a bit of a different meaning. There's the Crazy-Leg T, the Ten In Texas (XIT), and lots of others.

So an email came through on "branding" libraries: making them identifiable with an idea.

But I'm in the Wild and Wooly West, not in New Yawk or Boise or something. So I have today sent off an application to the Idaho State Brand Inspector to register the brand MPL connected with a rocker so that this library can, if we choose, run cattle, sheep, and horses.

And by the way -- this isn't BS. I really have.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 01:14 PM

Speaking purely as a lesser prophet, I can confirm Rapaire's suspicion that Moses was buried somewhere in this thread. It wasn't his fault, really; he tried. He was just too serious, and couldn't keep up. So he got covered up with high-speed BS somewhere in the vicinity of 9,322.


Amos

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 12:09 PM

Now. Everyone open their Bibles and turn to Deuteronomy, Chapter 34, verses 5-7. There you will find it written that Moses, THE Moses, died in and was buried in...MOAB!!! And not the one in Utah, either!

Yes, Moses, the Leader of the Twelve Tribes of Israel, the dude who brought down the Ten Commandments, the Head Honcho of the Exodus, the cat who brought the plagues on Egypt, that Moses, is somewhere in MOAB.

Which tells you something about either Moses or MOAB (or both).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 11:19 AM

oh - MOAB can distinguish between pure BS and pure BS - if you know what I mean. Granted the exudant of DC is purely BS - but it isn't pure BS if you get my drift.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 11:14 AM

How will it be distinguished from the immense volume of BS pumped out of Washington, D.C.? Our little speck of nonsense and commonsense--will it rise above the offal they generate?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 11:08 AM

Be not afraid - when the Rupture occurs - all those posts will be resurrected in the flesh and will ascend bodily into the aether there to reside with MOAB forever in eternal joy and pieces.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 11:05 AM

This post is dedicated to thirteen thousand, four hundred and seventy, and all the lesser numbers who gave their lives to reach it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 11:04 AM

If I had a BS thread,
Tell you what I'd do,
I'd turn my back on common sense
And write B.S. with you.

If I was a great big bull,
Tell you what I'd do,
I'd save up all my big BS
And send it all to you.

Oh, I'm working on a BS thread
Working on a BS thread, it's true
You can put aside your cares and woes
And work on the BS thread too!


If I had a library,
I'll tell you what I'd do,
I'd dedicate my research time
To write BS for you

And if I worked in a college grand
I'll tell you what I'd do,
I'd comandeer all those weighty brains
To write BS for you!

Oh, I'm working on a BS thread
Working on a BS thread, it's true
You can put aside your cares and woes
And work on the BS thread too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 08:55 AM

A similar dish was made from before history started until 1867 CE, when it changed. The earlier recipe was made in a sheep's bladder and contained chopped ilk innards, thistle roots, and the seeds of various wild grasses and seaweeds. The stuffed bladder was then boiled for several days in "wylde seewattr" before being thrown at the English or, on the three days when there were no English in Scotland, in the general direction of England.

This was called "hagus." Note difference in spelling and pronunciation -- it has very often been confused with the more recent culinary disaster, "haggis."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 08:19 AM

Sorry Rapaire - I have documented recipes for Haggis from the very early 1600's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 10:15 PM

That is, of course, 1867 CE.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 09:59 PM

Okay, now come clean the iced tea off of my monitor. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 09:11 PM

Considering that the Outer Orkneys House (or OOH) was reliably dated to April 7, 5398 BCE, at 1453 GMT and the haggis (which is Old Lower Scots Gaelic for "betcha won't eat THIS") from only 1867, I doubt it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 08:45 PM

sounds were so incredulous

So it seems that not only did the huswyf not believe in the sounds, but the sounds reciprocally disbelieved there was any such thing possible as a huswyf?

I hate uppity, skeptical sounds. They should learn their place.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 06:34 PM

The spurtle as we know it today evolved from this, which was found in an Tin Age house in the Outer Orkneys. Indications are that the "hussywyfe" used this to stir the porridge as her "hussiban" lay in the corner in a stupor brought on by too freely imbibing the local "whoopywattr" (actually he was still in the corner sleeping it off when the house was discovered in 1897).

The spurtle's evolutionary trail split when the perforated spurtle, or chanter as it is called today, was inserted into a sheep's stomach filled with oatmeal porridge and blown. The resulting sounds were so incredulous that not even the Highlanders themselves could believe them and adopted the sound of the so-called musical instrument as their racially-identifying mating call.

Because of this, a movement towards non-perforated spurtles gained tremendous momentum and resulted in the kitchen utensil of today.

The word "spurtle" comes from the "spurt" of porridge which comes when a perforated chanter is inserted into a pot of cooking porridge and blown.

The forgoing was adapted from Chinook and Hausenpfieffer's definitive work Highland and Lowland Spurtles of the Outer Orkneys and Scotland in General (Edinborough: Hamish & Wee 'Uns, 1906).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 06:20 PM

OK, wise guy -- a BOWLLESS spoon.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 03:00 PM

I have one, my sister brought it back from travels in the UK. Never tried to use it. It's kind of like this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 11:15 AM

"bladeless spoon"? your spoons normally have blades?

never mind.

'The Golden Spurtle' - sounds like a good name for a Tavern.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 11:13 AM

The Golden Spurtle, a sort of bladeless spoon used particularly for stirring porridge.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 09:22 AM

The morale is plain. For what shall a man profiterole, if by so doing he gains him the whole world, but loses him his soul?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 09:19 AM

Is that from "Great Pastry Duels of the Western World" ?

- I once had a chance to look at Volume 1, which covers prior to the Fall of Rome, but have never had a chance to even SEE the later volumes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 09:14 AM

Ah, profiteroles! An exquisite choice! I would be most happy to serve as "friend" to either of the parties simply to be part of this affaire d'honoeur.

It should be noted that the last recorded duel involving profiteroles was in 1747 in Ballyfungus, County Donegal. Acting in a oafish manner the Baron Oatmele insulted the wife of Sir Hugh Mac Hugh ("THE Mac Hugh") by more-than-implying that the lady's second daughter by her first marriage, Caitleen O'Neill, had been instructed by the lady to be come "close friends (wink, wink)" with the Hereditary Elector of Ducky-Swanstein in the hopes that the Elector would "come through" with money to assist the lady in paying off the gambling debts she'd accumulated at Dublin's notorious Heckfire Club. Sir Mac Hugh, a man of considerable girth, challenged the Baron, and quite rightly, but insisted that the duel be conducted on horseback, at a gallop, while each man would have a dozen profiteroles. Given the inequity in widths (the Baron was widely know as "The Spurtle") the Donegal Commission on the Code Duello agreed and the duel was conducted at dawn on December 3, 1747. The Baron deloped and the Commission declared Sir Mac Hugh the "Winner And Still Champeen" and awarded him The Belt stating such. The Belt is still in the possession of the now much-reduced Mac Hugh family and can sometimes be seen in Red's Pawn Shop in Ballyfungus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Aug 06 - 05:43 AM

That last statement implies that Moab doesn't add anything useful to the world must not stand unchallenged! Pistols at Dawn!

.... whispering....

Whats that?



....oh he's right. Ahh....

It would appear Sir I was somewhat hasty previously. Profiteroles at dawn will suffice


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 11:31 PM

It's amazing, innit? Here some guy sweated over phrasing that abstract in good faith, believing he was producing a value-added product, contributing some real thing to the world, and it ends up harmonizing with the whole theme of the MOAB. Ya gotta wonder whussup wid DAT!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 11:02 PM

Abstract Background As tertiary structure is currently available only for a fraction of known protein families, it is important to assess what parts of sequence space have been structurally characterized. We consider protein domains whose structure can be predicted by sequence similarity to proteins with solved structure and address the following questions. Do these domains represent an unbiased random sample of all sequence families? Do targets solved by structural genomic initiatives (SGI) provide such a sample? What are approximate total numbers of structure-based superfamilies and folds among soluble globular domains?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 10:33 PM

Well, I've always found a good vegetable oil with a high flash point, like peanut oil, works pretty well. Of course, the fat frying off is one of the things that enhances the flavor (unless you're in Canada or one of those places, when it enhances the flavour).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 08:17 PM

Depends on which lubricant, and how much...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 06:21 PM

You could sign at such a barbecue, but you could also sing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 01:23 PM

Lubricity has many forms, ole buddy.


That's one of my subtexts.


:>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 01:20 PM

That would be Amos' thesis, not my doorbell, right? I'd hate to think of anyone getting barbecued in my attic trying to fix the darned thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 01:07 PM

Is that like a barbecue you invite your friends and relatives to? You know, grill a few steaks, knock back a few beers, talk and maybe sign....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 01:07 PM

I have a wireless one on the side door. Sometimes it rings all by itself.

I think when I had the attic painted with the solar barrier a couple of months ago that all of the pressure on one part of the attic flooring might have messed up this bell. It has a transformer in the top of the hall closet, and the bell itself is in the hall by the bedrooms. Scares the crap out of anyone when it rings, but we can tell it from the doorbell unit that is plugged in in the other hall for the other door.

I need a nap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 12:54 PM

I have decided to do my thesis on the following topic.

"Tribological Dynamics of Protein-Based Interactions in Homo Sapiens".

Any observations or experimental participations you care to report would be welcome.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 11:43 AM

Take off the outside button and put in a wireless unit from Radio Shack.

I understand that those who go for children have a very rough time indeed in prison. Something about the prisoners also having kids....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 11:37 AM

some of them require batteries and the heat could have caused the battery to go kaput, depending on what type it takes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 11:33 AM

I'll bet you're right about the sicko, but I am not sure about the hazardous waste.

Doorbells are very simple devices with two wires. They most often break at the button, the most used part, or at the actuator at the other end of the wire.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 11:19 AM

What do you want to bet that that 18-year-old will now enter a sicker and sicker cycle of events in prison that won't include useful therapy so that by the time he's ready to come out he'll be a full-fledged much more dangerous sicko. Just a thought.

Moonglow's computer for college is arriving in three different boxes today. The doorbell is broken (don't have a clue how to fix it--I think it involves getting up in the attic) and I had to put a sign out instructing people to knock or go to the side door. Five minutes later "BAMBAMBAMBAM!" and the box with the surge protector arrived. Too bad I have lots of errands today--I'm going to be running back and forth and trying to leave someone here to get the next two boxes.

Hot as hell outside today. My fridge started up again on its own but I'll play it safe and continue to clean it out and I'll empty it (neighbor has a spare freezer I can stash my still-frozen stuff in for a while) and give it a good cleaning. You should have seen how sticky the floor was under it. Euuuwwww. Anyway, reason I bring up the heat is because I no longer have a compost heap. Why is that important? Because I now have a lot of unfrozen veggies and stuff that spoiled (eggs) that has to go in a trash bag and bake out beside the house in a metal can until Thursday morning. This being Tuesday, I expect this property to be declared a hazardous site by tomorrow afternoon, even with the bags tied closed and the lid on the can.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 09:10 AM

amos - get out of my head. it's bad enough half my relatives are in there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 09:08 AM

coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee LEWD ACTS??coffeecoffee coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeeEWWWWWW!!coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 09:05 AM

Yep. Things are.

Y'all might remember that back in May an 18 year old attacked a 10 year old with a knife and pushed the youngster back in the boys' room with the intent of lewd acts. This happened in the Library, and the kid yelled and ran for his mom.

Well, yesterday two things happened.

First, the security cameras came on-line (we're going to aim them this morning).

Second, the 18 year old was sentenced to five years years without parole, and up to ten more years "indeterminate." The kid's mother testified at the sentencing that her son can't sleep alone anymore, has nightmares, and doesn't trust people he doesn't know. There is some thought that the 18 year old performed "lewd acts" with other children, but there is no proof.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Aug 06 - 08:16 AM

Good


MORNING!





*grin* coffee is on, sun is shining, music is playing, and some things are right in the world.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 11:43 PM

yeah...okay...it has been wearing with the kids scrapping and all...shhhh.....tip toe...g'night all!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 11:10 PM

Shhhh. . . Amos. . . Mom fell asleep while you were reading that out loud. Cover her over with one of MMario's shawls and let her sleep. It was a long day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 07:28 PM

Oh joy!!! The world's first sustained-flight ORNITHOPTER!!!

Professor Emeritus James DeLaurier achieved something in early July that has fascinated humankind throughout much of history. DeLaurier and a team of students at the University of Toronto Institute for Aerospace Studies achieved sustained flight by a piloted ornithopter ? an airplane with flapping wings that are mechanically operated ? something dreamed of by Leonardo da Vinci, among others.

"He though about it carefully," said DeLaurier of da Vinci's design for an ornithopter. "He put a remarkable amount of thought into it but was limited by the materials of his time."

The concept of an ornithopter differs from standard fixed-wing aircraft because when flying its wings flap up and down in a manner similar to that of birds in flight. "It's an ancient dream, achieving flight with flapping wings," said DeLaurier, a professor of aerospace engineering at U of T since 1974, who retired this summer.

With the help of his current research team of four students, test pilot Jack Sanderson and a few other volunteers, DeLaurier achieved his lifelong dream of flying a full-scale ornithopter July 8 at Downsview Park. Equipped with a 24-horsepower engine and a model airplane turbo booster, the ornithopter flew for 14 seconds at an average speed of 88 km/h, in the process travelling a third of a kilometre.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 06:40 PM

 Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome
given enough time and money. Corollary: You are never given enough time
or money.
 
* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five
items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he
will forget two of the first five.
 
* Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last
place you would expect to find it. Corollary: It will not be in the
last place you expect to find it.
 
* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to
the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
 
* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your
taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
 
* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what
happens.
 
* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always
wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.
 
* Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only
cross-references.
 
* Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will
soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.
 
* Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent
repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.
 
* Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to
spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one. Corollary - If
there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.
 
* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home
from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.
 
* Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.
 
* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go
unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the
parking lot.
 
* Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered
when there is no time to deliver the services.
 
* Loftus' Law: Some people manage by the book, even though they don't
know who wrote the book or even which book it is.
 
* Lovka's Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 06:22 PM

That's true, Nature does abhor a vacuum. And that explains where my Hoover disappeared to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 05:58 PM

With a blinding sudden flash of insight, I looked into the deeper meanings of Rapaire's scurrilous wit, and found I was confronting the very Vacuum which Nature doth abhor.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 02:40 PM

Also, it's a good thing to be wearing long sleeves and heavy leather gloves when you're clearing brush and cut down a wasp nest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bunnahabhain
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 02:25 PM

Lesson for the day number 13765 Never fight an unexpected bee-hive with a hedge trimmer. They win. It hurts. Running away carrying a hedge trimmer could be easier.


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