Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 04 May 06 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 04 May 06 - 10:29 PM
Acme 04 May 06 - 07:56 PM
Rapparee 04 May 06 - 07:45 PM
Amos 04 May 06 - 07:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 May 06 - 07:20 PM
Little Hawk 04 May 06 - 06:48 PM
Amos 04 May 06 - 04:52 PM
Rapparee 04 May 06 - 03:12 PM
Acme 04 May 06 - 11:13 AM
Acme 03 May 06 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 03 May 06 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 03 May 06 - 11:39 AM
Amos 03 May 06 - 10:11 AM
Rapparee 03 May 06 - 08:58 AM
Bunnahabhain 03 May 06 - 02:30 AM
Amos 02 May 06 - 11:33 PM
Amos 02 May 06 - 10:48 PM
beardedbruce 02 May 06 - 09:07 PM
Rapparee 02 May 06 - 09:01 PM
khandu 02 May 06 - 08:57 PM
khandu 02 May 06 - 08:48 PM
Rapparee 02 May 06 - 08:42 PM
Rustic Rebel 02 May 06 - 07:57 PM
Rustic Rebel 02 May 06 - 07:42 PM
Rustic Rebel 02 May 06 - 07:30 PM
Rustic Rebel 02 May 06 - 07:18 PM
khandu 02 May 06 - 07:04 PM
Rapparee 02 May 06 - 06:26 PM
Amos 02 May 06 - 05:51 PM
Rapparee 02 May 06 - 05:47 PM
Amos 02 May 06 - 12:02 PM
Acme 02 May 06 - 10:54 AM
Rapparee 02 May 06 - 08:36 AM
Acme 02 May 06 - 01:18 AM
Amos 01 May 06 - 10:57 PM
number 6 01 May 06 - 08:16 PM
Rustic Rebel 01 May 06 - 08:10 PM
Rustic Rebel 01 May 06 - 07:55 PM
Rapparee 01 May 06 - 06:47 PM
Rapparee 01 May 06 - 06:43 PM
Amos 01 May 06 - 05:47 PM
Acme 01 May 06 - 05:44 PM
Bunnahabhain 01 May 06 - 05:24 PM
Rapparee 01 May 06 - 05:10 PM
Little Hawk 01 May 06 - 04:56 PM
Acme 01 May 06 - 04:14 PM
Rapparee 01 May 06 - 09:01 AM
Amos 01 May 06 - 01:30 AM
Acme 01 May 06 - 12:26 AM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 06 - 10:38 PM

I am a Mudcat snowcone
Way out in Idaho,
Melting in the sunshine
Freezing in the snow.
Posting to MOAB
Now and then,
Dodging GUESTs,
And hanging ten
I am a Mudcat snowcone
Way out in Idaho.

    -- Jay Lon Wennings, Poems and Songs Unfinished (Atomic City,            
       Idaho: 1902)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 06 - 10:29 PM

Perhaps, Amos, LH is a delusion with a compulsion towards obsessive schizophrenia. Obviously, this "Shatner" is a delusion, and I find it quite possible for a delusion (viz., LH) to be deluded. And a delusion certainly could suffer from mental opportunities, especially on MOAB. This was definitively shown by the immortal B. F. Skinny in his groundbreaking work Mit der Dumheit (Dresden, 1953), in which he recounts the stories of "Sylvia" and "Wilhelm B. Bergdorfer, 1291-3 Friedrichstrasse, Augsburg." Sylvia was quite a remarkable delusion, and I shan't bore you with the details except to say that a movie which enjoyed a certain popularity was based upon the account and released in 8mm format. The latter case was one of a man who called Skinny "deluded" (a classic case of transference), stomped out, slammed the door, and never paid his bill.

Thus you can see that LH himself (or herself, or itself, as the case may be) could well be a delusion. ECT will bring you back to reality, assuming you want to participate in it. I, personally, do my best to ignore reality but I certainly wouldn't foist my own beliefs off on others.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 May 06 - 07:56 PM

Better keep that room under 90 degrees (the cooler the better) or those servers will be toast!

We were locked out for a while, and at one point this morning I was able to send mom to the top, then it crashed again some more. Some of us noticed, some didn't. But those of us who noticed know who we are. There's more than one way to generate hot air with a computer!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 06 - 07:45 PM

There's a DNS, a database server, 3 catalog servers, and two Citrix servers running here. The room gets warm. This stinks. Maybe tomorrow everyone can be up and running again. Maybe. I'm going to dinner, have a stiff drink or six, and go to bed.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 06 - 07:30 PM

LH:

When will you give in, and admit that you are an obsessive compulsive schizophrenic with delusions?

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 May 06 - 07:20 PM

Help, Mom! I have a burning, itching, unbearable desire to start a copycat thread called "Who Are the Mudcat Sno-Cones?"!!! But if I do it'll piss off Amos, Joe Offer, Big PrMick, Katlaughing, Sorcha and probably a few more people. But that's okay, 'cause it doesn't piss you off, does it Mom?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 May 06 - 06:48 PM

When will you just give in and admit that Shatner is everything you always wished you could be?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 06 - 04:52 PM

Can not!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 06 - 03:12 PM

Huh? I haven't had a prolonged absence. I've been here all the while and I can prove it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 May 06 - 11:13 AM

Stilly dives across the screen and scoops up MOM in the second from the bottom line of the page and swoops her back up to the top again. These prolonged absences mean we must act swiftly when the 'Cat returns.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 06 - 12:14 PM

Okay, Google is catching on, in little bits anyway, to MOAB. The ads are for "Man on Fire video" and "KY Bourbon Triangle" (is that anything like the Bermuda triangle? Drinkers disappear into their whiskey?).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 06 - 11:41 AM

Who, oh who, will snag 12,200??

C'est moi, c'est moi, I'm forced to admit....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 06 - 11:39 AM

I had heart fire once, but Maalox fixed me up.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 06 - 10:11 AM

Bonefire, bonefire, calling the sky
Heartfire, brainfire, never say "Die",
Soulfire, soulfire, always alone,
Bright in the brain, and bad in the bone,
Broad in the beams, light in the dark,
Bonefire, bonefire, dance with my heart.

Phylis Rhododendrenia
Dark Calls from White Women
GPS Poetic Works, Inc.
Bronxville, NY, 1998


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 06 - 08:58 AM

Wow! Your 70th birthday, and they celebrated by trying to light you on fire! Sure hope it's happy, but not TOO happy, because if it's too happy you might spontaneously ignite. That happened to a friend of mine. He got too happy and the alcohol fumes just poured out of his pores. Then he lit a cigar and POOH! he was gone before we could even save the bottle of whisky. It was a terrible tragedy, and he left no wives or children or anyone behind. When we went through his things we did find a huge pile of overdue bills, though. We submitted his bar bills to the Guinness book, but they said that they didn't want to encourage wild and irresponsible drinking. We thought this was somewhat strange and told the Guinness people that, only they never replied -- just sent some beer mats, which we used to scrape up Tom's ashes. We kept them in a Four Roses bottle for some months, but one day the next winter it was pretty danged icy outside and we sprinkled ashes on the steps, and well, you can guess what happened to poor ol' Tom. But then, he'd been a good guy, helping little old ladies across the streets and stuff like that and making sure they were okay if they fell down after he snatched their purse, and we knew that he would have wanted it that way.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 May 06 - 02:30 AM

The Weather eventually noticed all those bonefires the other night at last, and we have clear blue skies all around. Today will be beautiful, and should get to a reasonable temeperature, maybe even 70. And it's my Birthday


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 06 - 11:33 PM

I know that all of you here on the MOAB have p ondered and fretted over the question of exactly how it is from a quark in a proton to its magic twin nearby in the sea of quarks.

The answer, to ease your worried souls, is 20 attometers.

A full explanation can be found here assuming they update the link to include issue 776.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 06 - 10:48 PM

That's good -- I have some extra that needs it.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 02 May 06 - 09:07 PM

Sorry, editing is extra.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 06 - 09:01 PM

Ha! I made it all up! And BB copied it over to the "Poems About Mudcat" thread!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 02 May 06 - 08:57 PM

"Go black , with joy MOAB , with joy MOAB MOAB cha , Thence Mudcat , as nalpam , with joy MOAB Amos flut , Ert na Boorishly Rebellious , Drop boucat nat carisma clut Doncar malwa Doncar belwa With joy MOAB falsii fa! Agan Mudcat , with joy MOAB , with joy MOAB MOAB da , Mene shlafawn mene Bee Dub mene LH plucal fatri Esheen golwat Max ba Joe shees Tweed na bota chatari! Doncar malwa Doncar belwa With joy MOAB falsii fa!"


LOL..."Boorishly Rebellious"!!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 02 May 06 - 08:48 PM

Yes, Dear RR. That was the very first post to this wonderful living thread! And it is dated the 5th of May, 03.

One thing of note...the addendum to the post written by Mr. Joe Offer. Joe has denied ever posting to Mother. I reminded him of this and he says he has no memory of it, and due to the crash, the posts are not in order, so one must look hard to find the original post (or, open the thread and hit "printer friendly"; this puts them in proper order!)

Let us all PM Joe Offer to let him know he indeed posted to Mother!

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 06 - 08:42 PM

Melischia, MOAB grata, grata MOAB, MOAB ma,
Balitatita ma nogawa, chesirt schaywa Mudcat nou!
Khandu nascit grata MOAB, plucal mina jist agou
Doncar malwa
Doncar belwa
Grata MOAB falsii fa!

Go nigewat, grata MOAB, grata MOAB, MOAB cha,
Inde Mudcat, sicut nalpam, grata MOAB Amos flut,
Ert na Rustic Rebel, Stilly, boucat nat charsna clut
Doncar malwa
Doncar belwa
Grata MOAB falsii fa!

Agan Mudcat, grata MOAB, grata MOAB, MOAB da,
Mene shlafawn, mene Bee-Dub, mene LH, plucal fatri
Esheen golwat Max ba Joe shees, Tweed na bota chatari!
Doncar malwa
Doncar belwa
Grata MOAB falsii fa!


          --Harry Ankhenaten Sales, The Big Book of Good Poems
            (Tooten Common: Scarred Abs Press, 1922)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 May 06 - 07:57 PM

I really must have lost my mind-That poem from me was in '04 I think. Damn nothing is for sure anymore! I might need a whiskey about now!
Tell me if I'm wrong on this one King.......Was this the 1st post to this here Mother of a thread?


Subject: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu - PM
Date: 05 May 03 - 08:31 PM

Another brainstorm of mine, inspired by Tweed, Spaw, Carol the Sailor and their ilk.

We can save time which we spend searching through all the BS threads very easily. Henceforth, post all BS here in this thread. Soon there will be only one BS thread. We won't have to look for particular threads as this will be the only one and it will contain all the BS we have to offer.

My Gawd!! Why has this not been thought of earlier? It is so obvious!

I swear, sometimes I even amaze myself!

Once again, for those of you who are slow in understanding...hear me, Tweed! Post all BS in this thread from now on!

Pene Azul and Joe Offer will thank me for making their job so much easier! My fellow 'Catters will also thank me when they realize the time my idea will save them! Maybe this will finally get me the coveted "Time/Life Man of the Year"!!

I swear, sometimes I even blow my own mind!!

King khandu
Thank you, khandu. I worship at your feet.
-Joe Offer-


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 May 06 - 07:42 PM

Hello-Me again-Looking for those rings must have really screwed my head up! I thought it was the 6th today and once again missed the birthday party! Only May 2 as far as I can tell!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 May 06 - 07:30 PM

Now that you mention it King Kandu, I thought her birthday was yesterday. I spaced it out. Are you sure it wasn't yesterday? I think so, and now that I'm back in here. I found something awhile back celebrating her year and a day, because I missed Mother's first Birthday...It went like this,

Happy Day Late oh Mother May 6, '02
To honor MOAB on her one year and a day jubilee
3000 Playmate Paul Doll balloons with erectile penises I set free.
With bleary eyes, I blinked back a tear
Remembering the joy and bullshit of the past year.
I missed the party that was or was not held,
but,3000 Playmate Paul Doll balloons with erectile penises swelled
....with helium. I rose a glass of whiskey, and watched them disappear to the north, west, east and south.
And to my final contentment, I poured the whiskey in my mouth.


Can't help but notice I'v gone with the blow-up dolls in my last poem on MOAB'S 4year and a day birthday also. What is "Up" with that??


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 May 06 - 07:18 PM

Ode to Margaret Thatcher by Canyalook A. Littleharder

It was once again, a mission uncompleted,
the rings I could not find,
North Dakotans are trickier than I thought,
their trying to blow my mind.
Who would even give it a thought,
It seems such a simple thing,
to find 10 rings that un-decoded the mysteries
Of teaching Margaret Thatcher blow up dolls how to sing!


Amos your last poem was Marvellous! Not because you mentioned myself, mind you. It was so flowing, so natural, so full of emotion and titilating. LOved it!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 02 May 06 - 07:04 PM



A few hours early, but...

HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
MOTHER!!!







khandu


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 06 - 06:26 PM

Why in the WORLD hasn't the EPA been informed of all this? Is that what I pay taxes for? And ignorance of the law has never been an excuse, whether you can read or not! I say, Let's deport all of these litter louts! Send 'em back where they came from, that's what I say!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 06 - 05:51 PM

There's a loophole in the anti-litter laws, is why. Bulldogs can't read and so are exempt. So they have the litters. The humans are just "picking up after 'em", i swhat they claim. You might be able to get them for transporting the litter across state lines, though.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 06 - 05:47 PM

Why haven't these people been ticketed under the anti-litter laws?

It's just another case of politicians taking care of their relatives, isn't it?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 06 - 12:02 PM

From the FAQ of Mallard Point Bulle Dogges:

Can you ship your puppies and do you ship them year round?
From September til May each year we are able to fly our puppies into all of the major airports in the lower 48 states and in addition some of the minor airports. Most often, our flights can be scheduled any day of the week ~ however, there are times that weather or unusual circumstances we aren't able to control that can delay or cancel a flight and then we are forced to postpone the delivery until the next possible day. During the summer months, it becomes much more challenging to safely ship puppies because of Bulldogs low tolerance to heat. Therefore, for their well being we are limited to the areas of the country we can ship to and often post an available cities list during those months that we can ship our puppies to if we have summertime litters born.



Send me a bullldogge
Send it by air!
Send it by Dellta!
We know they care.
Send it in spring time,
Send it in fall,
But during summer,
Don't ship at all.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 06 - 10:54 AM

Lets hope the windshield doesn't pop out whilst the vehicle is full of hardware.

Puppies for sale online. (Do you suppose they freeze-dry them for shipping? Put them in the mail?) and English Bulldog Puppies in the Google box below.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 06 - 08:36 AM

Rapaire is going to go take a shower and change into work clothes. At 0730 Rapaire is heading North to help move seven (7) servers to his library. Rapaire may not be posting much until this evening -- with luck.

'Tis the flowers of the plain
And I see them yet again
As the lightning and the rain
Courses down my window pane:

I think, my dear, of you
And of what we used to do:
When I got poop upon my shoe
And you'd point and say, "Do-do!"

Now I miss your subtle ways,
And your pure steel corset stays.
They stopped us from becoming strays
In our lustful, youthful, days.


         --Agamennon Charles Dionysios Rupert Heldwigssen: Songs of
          Innocence and Youth
(Small, Idaho: Cross Dress Press,
          1902).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 06 - 01:18 AM

BB will be busy transplanting these for minutes to come once he discovers more "mudcat poetry" over here. sIx dropped in after he (she?) started a copycat thread--seems it would have been easier to lurk and work his way in slowly. MOM would let him in.

Hey--I was driving home tonight and near the house stopped to say hello to a fellow out waking a beautiful brindled pit bull male--and realized he was the man who was driving the other day and asked about papers or breeding my dog Cinnamon! All became clear! He walks his dog, he loves his beautiful sweet-tempered pooch, he's not a breeder or anything shady, and he saw my beautiful sweet tempered dog and had an "ah ha!" moment. What a compliment! Still I wouldn't have been interested in puppies, but it is nice to know what that look of disappointment was about when we spoke the other day on the bridge. It wasn't disapproval at taking any pitbull out of genetic circulation, but a touch of sadness at taking a particularly nice dog out of the puppy possibilities. I can understand that, and felt a twinge of remorse that my sweet dog wouldn't have more sweet puppies like herself for others to enjoy.

Now back to Rapaire's regular ball bashing, poetical swilling and general mayhem with sharp objects.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 06 - 10:57 PM

No, Six, it isa much more than this. Go back to page 1 and read forward. All will become clear.

Oh Rustical Rebel, O, Rebel my dear,
Your wit is so deep, and your eyes are so clear,
Your arms and your fingers are pure, I confess,
But the mind also lingers upon all the rest.
So random and wild are the spins we are in,
When you drift amongst us, your MOABITE kin,
That the end can't be figgered
From where it begins,
In the shadowy tendrils of bullshit.

Oh, BW, BW, BWL,
Whose humor and insight goes too far to tell,
From the Florida sky to his downy deep vale,
Where his clay pots lie patiently drying their tails,
So wicked the flashing of lightning like wit,
As he toils in the earth,
and the storm, and the pit,
Midst the shadowy tendrils of bullshit!

Rapaire in the Northland, where the egos grow tall,
Where space is wide open, and nothing looks small,
Where a man is as big as the blue sky he smells,
And as sturdy and tall as the bullshit he tells,
He's winsome and lithe,
And much more than alive,
In the flowering tendrils
of bullshit!

And Steady-On Stilly, of well-lettered zest,
Transplanted to Texas from the wooly Northwest,
With marvelous treasure hidden deep in her mind,
Which leave all her fellows at MOAB stone blind
So clear and unscarred,
With her dogs, in her yard,
Midst the delicate tendrils of bullshit!

There's dozens of others whose names I could name
Who have conquered the MOAB, who well deserve fame
But I don't have forever, and they know who they are,
Each fellow a poet, and each lass a star
As we follow this spiralling back-slapping trail,
Where no-one can falter, and no-one can fail
Midst the perilous tendrils of bullshit!

Agonistes Perihelion III,
Advocate-General of the Public Weal
Peon Paeans and Those Who Write Them
Byronme and Pisceonyu,
Long Beach, California, 1897


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: number 6
Date: 01 May 06 - 08:16 PM

Jeeeezuz .... I need some oxygen, can't catch my breath, ... damnit it ...damn I think i have a hernia too .... that is one heavy mother.

is this all it is!?!?!

sIx


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 01 May 06 - 08:10 PM

Well shit I sure screwed that up-It was Mmario that wasn't mentioned. So we are the puritans-I knew when I said Bee-Dubya it didn't feel quite right.

MMario and Rustic pure in their way
Like to bullshit, all through the day
With a wise crack here and a joke on the side,
Up in heaven, will be a good place to hide!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 01 May 06 - 07:55 PM

So how high do your balls bounce Rapaire? And when you drop them from forehead height does it....Oh forget that..I don't even want to really know!

The MOTHER Got Balls by Gettemwhile Yewcan.

So what's up folks? I stay away for a week and you forget about me? My name doesn't rhyme with anything or what? Gee-whiz and golly snickit. I notice even the Rev. Billy Ray or what ever he called himself, left Bee-dubya and me out of his redeeming rehabilitation quest to purify the MOAB. We must be the puritans around here!
Yes that's it!

Rustically Rebel and Bee-Dubya-ell
They are pure and won't go to hell!
They like to bullshit and some tales they do tell
Damn those two, sure are swell...ed!

Yours true-Rustically Rebelish
PS-If anyone was wondering-I am not the Rev. Ray- I do have some dignity!
PS again- I'm once again heading to Fargo in the morn-My quest for the rings continues without falter.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 06 - 06:47 PM

The preceeding was from Irving Frankfurtamrhine's Gunny, get your aunt!, a play from way, way, off-Broadway (opened in Mendon, Illinois on March 7, 1948, closed March 7, 1948).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 06 - 06:43 PM

MEN'S CHORUS:
The freds, the Ralphs, the Legion, the pomes
The visitors that don't know up from down

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
The eyeaches, the earaches, the migraines, the flops
The martians invading every town

MEN'S CHORUS:
The postings when your heart beats like a drum

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
The panic when the BS doesn't come

ALLS:
There's no business like MOAB business
Like no business I know

MEN'S CHORUS:
Everything about it is apalling

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
Every pun the traffic will allow

MEN'S CHORUS:
No where could you find a duckdog reeling

ALL:
When you're petting old Gluon!
There's no people like MOAB people
They smile because they are low

MEN'S CHORUS:
Yesterday they told you you would not go far

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
That night you posted and here you are

MEN'S CHORUS:
Next day you find yourself hangin' round a bar

ALL:
Let's go, on with the posts!

MEN'S CHORUS:
There's Amos, and Stilly, and Bee-Dub, and Tweed
There's Khandu, who started the whole mess --

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
There's music, there's poems, there's science, there's puns
The Catters who have posted, every one,

MEN'S CHORUS:
The BS and the horse poop and the smell

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
The Reverend Jimmy Ray we'd like to quell

ALL:
There's no BS like MOAB BS
Try it, you'll know it's so
Folks from everywhere are coming posting
Standing out in front of all their friends
Smiling as you watch dear MOAB filling
And see the postings that never end!

There's no people like MOAB people
They'll laugh at you because like them you're low
Because you are a turkey and your wit is old
They'll kick you out and leave out in the cold
Still you wouldn't trade 'em for a sack o' gold
Let's go on with MOAB!
Let's go on with MOAB!
The MOAB!
The MOAB!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 06 - 05:47 PM

Ah, woe. Is it to this the vision of the Once King has fallen? Ball-whacking? Song-citing? Alas, the Day of BS is fading before our eyes...


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 May 06 - 05:44 PM

Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you toss them o'er your shoulder
   like a continental soldier?
Do your ears hang low?

As is noted on one site I went to to double check other verses: "A considerably sanitized song that, in its original form, described less polite but more recognizably pendulous body parts. Tune: any one of Turkey In the Straw, the Sailor's Hornpipe, or the Parade of the Wooden Soldiers."

Here is a site with the other verses (and accuses Oscar Brand of bowdlerizing the song. . . )

I don't want to post too much of this here or one of the clones might mistake this for a music thread and move MOM above the line.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 May 06 - 05:24 PM

To the tune generally known as the Sailors hornpipe...

Do your Balls hang low? Can you swing them to and Fro?
Do your Balls hang Low? Can you tie them in a bow?


I can't remeber how it carries on thankfully....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 06 - 05:10 PM

Oh. I've been dropping them from forehead height and seeing how high they bounce.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 May 06 - 04:56 PM

The thing you have to do is test your balls first to see if they are still in good enough shape to be marketable...

Place your balls on a solid surface such as an oak table and deliver a good whack to each with a rubber hammer. The resilience of your balls under severe impact will establish if they still have what it takes to meet official playing standards.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 May 06 - 04:14 PM

When I owned a blue Volkswagen (a 1967 beetle, the best model year they ever made) I always kept a couple of spare wire coat hangers, almost more useful than duct tape. One served as my arial and the other was handy to reach in through the slightly open window to catch the button and pull and open the car in case the key was deciding not to work that day. I would go hiking and instead of hiding a spare key somewhere near the car I always hid my folded hangar with my pre-hooked end for opening the door. I never had to tie down the trunk or the engine cover, they worked just fine.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 06 - 09:01 AM

Because if I find cast-off soda cans in my yard I chuck 'em back on the golf course. Doesn't happen nearly as often as find balls there.

I am truly annoyed about the trim falling off. I could have been run over (I lost my balance picking it up out of the high-speed lane on the Interstate) and it shouldn't have come off in the first place.

But if you want REAL excitement, I was once breezing down the highway at about 65 when the hood latch let go. Suddenly the entire view out the windshield turned white. It took me a microsecond to realize that I was now looking at the car hood, and I stuck my head out the window and braked, finally pulling off the road without injury to myself or others (I do admit to being a bit shaky). There was some wire in the car, so I wired the hood down to the grill and drove slowly home, where more permanent repairs were arranged.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 06 - 01:30 AM

I said target market, and I do not suggest targeting your balls, at least not for fencing or sidearm practice.

But never mind. I a concerned this desire to acquire others' balls may not be   healthy.

Why don't you take up collecting cast-off soda cans instead?

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 May 06 - 12:26 AM

First time I read that I thought the WINDSHIELD fell off and you duct taped it into place. So I went back and reread. I must say, it is a MUCH more exciting story if the windshield falls out than a bit of trimfalls off.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 18 October 9:00 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.