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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 16 Feb 06 - 03:36 PM
MMario 16 Feb 06 - 03:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 06 - 02:24 PM
MMario 16 Feb 06 - 12:32 PM
Acme 16 Feb 06 - 12:28 PM
John MacKenzie 16 Feb 06 - 11:59 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 06 - 11:30 AM
Amos 16 Feb 06 - 11:02 AM
MMario 16 Feb 06 - 10:36 AM
Acme 16 Feb 06 - 10:33 AM
Amos 16 Feb 06 - 09:43 AM
John MacKenzie 16 Feb 06 - 04:26 AM
Amos 15 Feb 06 - 11:36 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 06 - 09:39 PM
Acme 15 Feb 06 - 07:46 PM
Amos 15 Feb 06 - 04:51 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 06 - 03:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 06 - 12:18 PM
Amos 15 Feb 06 - 11:23 AM
Acme 15 Feb 06 - 11:09 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 06 - 09:23 AM
Rapparee 15 Feb 06 - 09:17 AM
Amos 15 Feb 06 - 09:16 AM
Rapparee 15 Feb 06 - 09:13 AM
Bunnahabhain 15 Feb 06 - 07:31 AM
John MacKenzie 15 Feb 06 - 04:43 AM
Amos 14 Feb 06 - 10:45 PM
JennyO 14 Feb 06 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 06 - 10:11 PM
Acme 14 Feb 06 - 09:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 06 - 09:20 PM
Amos 14 Feb 06 - 07:21 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 06 - 07:02 PM
John MacKenzie 14 Feb 06 - 06:59 PM
Amos 14 Feb 06 - 06:21 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 06 - 06:03 PM
Acme 14 Feb 06 - 05:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 06 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 06 - 01:35 PM
Amos 14 Feb 06 - 01:35 PM
GUEST,Supreme Occipital - Skull and Bones Club 14 Feb 06 - 12:53 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 06 - 12:40 PM
Amos 14 Feb 06 - 12:07 PM
John MacKenzie 14 Feb 06 - 11:55 AM
Bunnahabhain 14 Feb 06 - 10:57 AM
Acme 14 Feb 06 - 10:00 AM
MMario 14 Feb 06 - 09:55 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 06 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 14 Feb 06 - 09:16 AM
Amos 14 Feb 06 - 08:30 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 03:36 PM

Ach, Giok, lad, it was for ye I was suggesting the cranial compress. And I am sure you willna mind if it is rolled or steel-cut, if not too dear. You skinflint Pictavian wonderkind, you! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 03:18 PM

now - bee-dubya - you being a southern boy you probably don't realize that your grits is nothing more then a substitute for groats.* You've probably been making your oatmeal with [shudder] rolled oats. yuck. pooey! that's like trying to make polenta with flaked corn!

Get you some good old fashioned steel-cut oat groats - and try making your oatmeal with that! A very different beatie then the stuff from rolled oats.

*in fact - "grits" and "groats" are both derived from the proto-gremanic "grutja".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 02:24 PM

Of course, being from the southern US, my anti-oatmeal sentiment is, in part, rooted in the fact that oatmeal is not grits. Yes, I understand that oatmeal not being grits is probably something for which the majority of the civilized world's population is remarkably grateful, but have you ever tried to eat oatmeal with fried catfish?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 12:32 PM

Oatmeal cookies should be thick and chewy - crunchy oatmeal is blasphemous!

Stily- you should have seen me the summer my father decided to BURN out a poisen ivy patch - without warning those of us in the family who were sensative. He came away with nothing - I had poisen ivy rash in places I don't even like to remember!!!! (including eyelids)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 12:28 PM

Oatmeal is a comfort food at my house. A nice warm bowl with brown sugar and milk (and if the kids aren't home I cook mine with raisins). Crunchy oatmeal cookies are one of my favorites.

Lately it would have been better used in a bath, to sooth my poison ivy rash on my arms and one knee. (Smart stuff here thought she could get rid of it easily before the leaves come out by cutting out the vines over the creek. When brushed against, the sap in the vines is so much more potent than the oil in the leaves that this has been one uncomfortable month, and it isn't over yet).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 11:59 AM

Thanks for the chuckle Bee-Dubya, Dr Johnson felt the same way as you obviously do about oats his definition of oats is: "a grain which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people"(!) Well to each their own but I like my oats.
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 11:30 AM

Oatmeal is an abomination. The only less-than-abominable use to which oatmeal can be put is as an ingredient in either oatmeal cookies or a compost pile. Its use as a breakfast cereal is blasphemy. Its use in haggis is an evil of epic proportions. It should be a criminal offense to pollute perfectly good sheep innards by mixing them with oatmeal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 11:02 AM

It is also held in high esteem by the skinflinted Pictavian, or so I am told.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 10:36 AM

oatmeal is suppossed to be really good for the skin -


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 10:33 AM

Hot oatmeal set us to rights this morning. It was administered by mouth, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 09:43 AM

Nothing that can't be handled by a cranial compress of cold oatmeal. Works wonders.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 04:26 AM

I sincerely hope that it's not contagious!
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 11:36 PM

By George, I think he's Got It!! :)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:39 PM

flowers birds love peace rainbows freedom happiness peace love freedom happiness oh look the moon is in the seventh house and jupiter has aligned with mars and peace shall rule the planets and love will steer the stars


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 07:46 PM

Cheney doesn't leave behind a dry socket--he fills his holes with birdshot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 04:51 PM

My sympathies for your suffering, good Sir. Terrible, really, having to slide down the whole steeple with your nice hands getting all begrimed with pitch and torn with splinters. Good help is so hard to find any more.

I am glad you survived, as I am planning a future in which I will not have to spend ANY more time in the vicinity of "Shotgun" Dick Cheney than absolutely necessary...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 03:34 PM

I didn't need anesthesia. I'm tough. They cut out two teeth and then drilled into my jawbone and installed two (count 'em!) things like Mollie-fasteners for implants. And I'm tough, so they didn't even give me a drink of whiskey beforehand. Just a good-looking nurse to kiss the booboo, only I told him that I didn't need that either, no offense. Have you ever looked at your hands? I mean, like, really looked at them? I didn't need no Vicodin either cuz I'm tough and my hands are like really groovi nice hands. Nope no anestheesee cool did you know that I am the Pope? Snowing but who cares you know hands?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 12:18 PM

Rapaire... Rapaire... Can you hear me, Rapaire?... Yes?... Good... Now listen... Money... You don't need it... It's an abomonation to your sensiblities... Get rid of the burden... Send all your money to the needy... And Rapaire... When you think "needy" think "BWL"... Now, just nod your head to indicate that you fully understand and I'll give you some bank account and routing numbers...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 11:23 AM

I know the anaesthesiologist, from back when he was still wondering what to do with his life and trying to learn bar chords. Funny how he ended up in Idaho, pursuing that ginger-headed gal with the huge smile and the shapely hips. Anyway, we go way back.

So if Rapaire comes to only to find his hospital bed is precariously balanced on the tip-top of the nearest Mormon cathedral spire, wanting nothing but a strong breeze to tilt it dramatically to the side....why, you might want to find out who had their finger on the gas valve. And why he's spending an extra hundred on dinner tonight...

Good genes only go so far, ya know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 11:09 AM

Look out, I think Amos is sneaking in to short sheet Rapaire's bed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:23 AM

So what's wrong with nuclear power stations having a few windows? Working under those fluorescent lights all day long can be depressing. People need to let a little natural sunlight into their workplace environments. Sure, they'd have to make the windows of bulletproof glass, install heavy bars over them, and surround them with yards of concertina wire but that just adds to the ambience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:17 AM

Dear Mom,

I might not be here much today and tomorrow. I'm going to go be sedated in about 90 minutes. I'll be on Vicodin, probably, Mom, and you know what that does to me. Please make sure that Amos doesn't do anything, you know, untoward while I'm unconscious. We all know what he's like if there is no gentle, loving, hand guiding him along the paths of righteousness toward the shining goal of grace. So whump him if he strays off the straight and narrow, okay?

Your favorite and favored child,
Rapaire
(the one that got all the GOOD genes)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:16 AM

These are the old kind of windows, Bunn -- the kind they used to have before software -- you look through them.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:13 AM

I want one that will make me an honest politician....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 07:31 AM

I don't want anything with Windows in it being capable of making anything. I can't imagine the mess it'll make of it. Almost as bad as those Nuclear power stations using Windows in their security systems....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 04:43 AM

I played in a banned once BWL, too many petty squabbles, went back to playing with myself!
G.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 10:45 PM

We got two of those rapid-prototyping machines at work -- they stand about 5 feet 10" tall and have windows in 'em so you can watch the do their epitaxial depostion or whatever it is called and see the mysterious beauty of parts rising out of the void.... it's sompn, I tell ya!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 10:12 PM

With my luck, it'd probly be the WRONG ten percent :-(


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 10:11 PM

I dunno -- there's a laser printer that makes stuff out of plastic and wood and things in three dimensions (well, four dimensions).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 09:39 PM

He could have said "It's the check engine light, Scottie!" but no, they had to make Jim's clarion cry "Beam me up!" How many more of us would have benefitted from knowing something about that light on the dash over all of these decades? That beaming stuff is well and good, but it's two or three years off yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 09:20 PM

Who said "Beam me up, Scotty"? Giok, was that you? You are hereby banned from the MOAB until 9:00 PM Mudcat time on February 14, 2006!

Yes, I know it's already past 9:00 PM Mudcat time on February 14, 2006, but just in case time travel gets perfected in the next few years you and you go back to a time before 9:00 PM Mudcat time on February 14, 2006, remember that you're banned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 07:21 PM

Hell, you ain't usin' more than ten percent anyway, mate!! You could go down in history!! And biology! And English literature!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 07:02 PM

Ah, I don't think I'd want to be teleported if the original is destroyed and there's only 66% accuracy at best. Why, Important Parts could be left out or put together wrong. It's kinda cool, but ol' Werner makes it tough on me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 06:59 PM

Beam me up Scotty, for gawds sake!!
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 06:21 PM

On a different altogether topic, this might be important. TELEPORTATION has been extended from one particle, which was accomplished by leveraging quantum entanglement about a year ago or so, to a WHOLE BEAM of them!!

" In contrast with everyday matter, quantum systems such as
photons cannot be copied, at least not perfectly, according to the
"no-cloning theorem."

Nonetheless, imperfect cloning is permitted,
so long as Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle remains inviolate.
According to Heisenberg, measuring the position of a particle
disturbs it, and limits the accuracy to which its complementary
property (momentum) can be determined, making it impossible to
reliably replicate the particle's complete set of properties.

Now, quantum cloning has been combined with quantum teleportation in
the first full experimental demonstration of "telecloning" by
scientists at the University of Tokyo, the Japan Science and
Technology Agency, and the University of York (contact Sam
Braunstein, schmuel@cs.york.ac.uk and Akira Furusawa,
akiraf@ap.t.u-tokyo.ac.jp).

In ideal teleportation, the original is
destroyed and its exact properties are transmitted to a second,
remote particle (Heisenberg does not apply because no definitive
measurements are made on the original particle). In telecloning,
the original is destroyed, and its properties are sent to not one
but two remote particles, with the original's properties
reconstructed to a maximum accuracy (fidelity) of less than 100%.
(Heisenberg limits the ability to make clones as otherwise
researchers could keep making copies of the original particle and
learn everything about its state.)
In their experiment, the researchers didn't just teleclone a single
particle, but rather an entire beam of laser light.

They transmitted
the beam's electric field, specifically its amplitude and phase (but
not its polarization) to two nearly identical beams at a remote
location with 58% accuracy or fidelity (out of a theoretical limit
of 66%).

This remarkable feature of telecloning stems from the very
magic of quantum mechanics: quantum entanglement. Telecloning
stands apart from local cloning and from teleportation in requiring
"multipartite" entanglement, a form of entanglement in which
stricter correlations are required between the quantum particles or
systems, in this case three beams of light. (An example of a
multipartite entanglement is the GHZ state between three particles
that was featured in Update 414.)"



Like I say, this could be important; even historic!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 06:03 PM

Ain't nothin' like a good old red union suit! Why, when old Andy took sick of leed pizzenin' the other day up at the Legion Hovel we found that he wuz wearin' seven of them there red longies! Yup. He'd put the first one on in 1962 and sort of added to 'em over the years. I'll tell ya, that first one wuz kinda stiff; broke three sets of paramedic scissors and they finally had to use an acetylene torch ta cut 'em off and tend to Andy's wounds. He wuz lucky, too. Them union suits danged near stopped them six .45 slugs from penetratin' his skin.

The doc said that the dirt mighta had a hand in Andy's bulletproofin' too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 05:33 PM

You're better off not dying your longjohns. The dye probably isn't good for your skin and if you get wet and stay wet for a while you're liable to turn the color of your underwear. (Spoken from experience as the owner of a somewhat faded scarlet union suit).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 02:36 PM

Dear Supreme Whatever,

Your statement, "Now you must dye a prostate!" makes no sense. How does one go about dying a prostate. Anyway, the majority of people who would be most likely to dye something are female and they don't have prostates. Get a clue, dude! If you would like to rephrase your comment to something like "Now you must dye a pair of longjohns!" you'd probably get a more positive response.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 01:35 PM

Dear Supreme Dogpuddle:

I spit upon your threat. Ptooey. I spit upon your mother, your father, your sister and your brothers, your grandparents, and you ancestors back to the 27th generation. I spit upon your puppy dog and your pony.

Your friend,
Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 01:35 PM

Well we figgered that condition was already in force, Big Wig. So what else is new?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Supreme Occipital - Skull and Bones Club
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 12:53 PM

Now you must die, apostate!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 12:40 PM

The moon doesn't actually exist. What it is is a closely-knit aggregation of gravel, water, dirt, and dust that is held together by electrostasis. The so-called "Moon landings" were actually done on the largest of these pieces.

The actual true knowledge of what the Moon is -- which I have just shared with you at the risk of my life -- is a closely held secret of the Skull-and-Bones Club, the International Order of Odd Fellows, and the Little Sisters of the Downtrodden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 12:07 PM

I think you were projecting; but then, so is Google!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 11:55 AM

See I told you it was made of cheese!!
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 10:57 AM

Have a look atGoogle moon


Follow the 'more about google moon' as well....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 10:00 AM

Pat reads the computer screen over Mike's shoulder then rolls her eyes skyward.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 09:55 AM

DANG! he figgered it out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 09:38 AM

Wow! That's TWO stupid brainfart mistakes in one day! The other was calling Dan Quayle a Democrat. Maybe there's some hex person sticking pins into the cranium of a BWL voodoo doll and going "You wanna be witty? Well, I'll fix your little red wagon! Every time you open your mouth to utter a witticism I'll make sure you put your foot in it! (Insert sound of maniacal cackling laughter.)"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 09:16 AM

Ihave 3.35 eyeballs but 0 children, excluding those I may have left behind me in my wild and rowdy days. Back in those days I was only interested in the pleasures of the flesh, the table, and the tankard. I lived a life of sin and decadence, drinking and wenching until the very early hours and then staggering home where my sainted mother was praying for my conversion to the paths of righteousness and religion. Oh, yes, she abjured me to give up my pursuit of pleasure! She prayed for and over me day after day! She offered up novenas to Sts. Monica and Mary Magdalene! She even went to far as to hide my clothes, thinking that this would stop my wayward ways, but it did not. And now, when I think back upon those times I feel shame and repentance. For they lasted too long, far, far too long. When I should have been a responsible citizen and shouldering the duties of a Man, I was making love to a bottle! And I slipped further and further down the Primrose Path To Perdition. Finally though the efforts of my Mother reached fruition and I was gathered into The Fold, finally toilet trained and weaned, even walking unassisted. And yet I look back upon those days with nostalgia (and I don't mean Nostalgia Smythe, the girl next door, for you have a filthy mind and she entered the nunhood at the age of eight anyway) when hordes of women cooed over me and fed me and catered to my every need.

Sigh....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 06 - 08:30 AM

...which makes the gloves thing even more bizarre. Hex people also have 3.35 eyeballs and 2.7 children.


A


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