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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 24 Oct 05 - 09:07 PM
Acme 24 Oct 05 - 04:06 PM
Acme 24 Oct 05 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 24 Oct 05 - 08:59 AM
Amos 24 Oct 05 - 07:46 AM
Acme 23 Oct 05 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 23 Oct 05 - 09:06 PM
Rapparee 23 Oct 05 - 03:58 PM
Bunnahabhain 23 Oct 05 - 01:47 PM
Amos 23 Oct 05 - 01:30 PM
Little Hawk 23 Oct 05 - 12:11 PM
Little Hawk 23 Oct 05 - 12:10 PM
Amos 23 Oct 05 - 11:55 AM
Amos 23 Oct 05 - 11:30 AM
Rapparee 23 Oct 05 - 11:26 AM
Acme 23 Oct 05 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 23 Oct 05 - 10:16 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Oct 05 - 12:07 AM
Acme 22 Oct 05 - 11:03 PM
GUEST,freds 22 Oct 05 - 09:35 PM
Rapparee 22 Oct 05 - 09:16 PM
Acme 22 Oct 05 - 06:21 PM
Rapparee 22 Oct 05 - 05:15 PM
Acme 22 Oct 05 - 11:04 AM
Rapparee 22 Oct 05 - 09:20 AM
Acme 22 Oct 05 - 12:43 AM
Rapparee 21 Oct 05 - 09:51 PM
Rapparee 21 Oct 05 - 09:42 PM
Rapparee 21 Oct 05 - 09:16 PM
Bunnahabhain 21 Oct 05 - 05:52 PM
Rapparee 21 Oct 05 - 05:28 PM
Amos 21 Oct 05 - 02:49 PM
Rapparee 21 Oct 05 - 02:32 PM
Acme 21 Oct 05 - 02:30 PM
Rapparee 21 Oct 05 - 01:34 PM
Amos 21 Oct 05 - 11:32 AM
Rapparee 21 Oct 05 - 09:01 AM
MMario 21 Oct 05 - 08:43 AM
Acme 20 Oct 05 - 10:16 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 05 - 10:11 PM
Amos 20 Oct 05 - 07:48 PM
Bunnahabhain 20 Oct 05 - 07:01 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 05 - 04:49 PM
MMario 20 Oct 05 - 04:19 PM
Amos 20 Oct 05 - 03:53 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 05 - 01:14 PM
Acme 20 Oct 05 - 10:16 AM
Amos 20 Oct 05 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 20 Oct 05 - 09:25 AM
Acme 19 Oct 05 - 09:35 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 09:07 PM

You're going to shoot your stuff full of arrows?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 04:06 PM

Maybe others prefer a Sagittarius approach to garage management?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 11:58 AM

There are ways to offload some of the excess Self-storage baggage in a hurry. I found cancer to be a way to streamline things for a while. It's gone, but the reminder is still there in the form of a few scars.

Nothing like those sported by bludgeoned Lukey, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 08:59 AM

Lukey was at Clancy Yancy's bar last night and figgered that he needed some way to "redishcover" himself. He went upstairs with Boom-Boom Betty and a quart of Real Old Monongehela Rye Wisky (the spelling is correct; the stuff is distilled in Corn Creek and hasn't ever been near Pennsylvania) -- the stuff they call "Frisky Wisky" around here. Lukey and Boom-Boom were flagranto delicto and pretty active when the floor gave way. They crashed through to the basement of Clancy's joint and the waterbed busted like a giant water balloon. Wiped out Clancy's setup for bringing beer up the bar, flooded the tortilla chips in storage, and managed to force more water into the floor drains than they could take, with th result that all the toilets fired a geyser at the ceiling. Took Sagebrush Sammy by surprise; he'd just set down for a "spell of readin' the pages from the Sears catalog." By the time the fire department got there with pumps and rescue equipment everyone was pretty soggy, Boom-Boom was beating Kiss drum solos on the right side Lukey's head with a piece of rebar, and Lukey's wife was pounding out Gene Krupa on the left side with a cast iron skillet, and they were both comparin' notes about Lukey's short comings. Clancy Yancy was talkin' to his lawyer and pointin' at Lukey, and the regulars were lookin' for tar and feathers.

Lukey had a beatific look on his face, and it wasn't brought about by the head hammering. We figgered that he'd either found hisself or that maybe he was still under the influence of the frisky wisky, one or the other.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 07:46 AM

You could name one of them Jesus. The pit bull.

Then get a parrot who can learn to say "Jesus is watching you...."

Surefire remedy for burglars.

I think a lot of people find themselves discovering, on looking in to their Self storage, that they have a lot of stuff there they don't need. It's sometimes a lot harder to rearrange than the physical storage areas are.

Why is that?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 09:56 PM

Today I decided to take a look inside that storage space I'd built. I found I was saving stuff I didn't need--imagine that! Up in the rafters I found the boxes and styrofoam for the computer and printer and scanner that were stolen last February. Now all of the boxes are flattened in the back of the pickup and will be dropped in a recycle bin for cardboard in the morning. The styrofoam is in bags out at the curb.

Since it is a chilly rain tonight and since I don't have the house dog-proofed yet I opted to clean out the garage and turn a futon frame that had stood on its side into a glamorous dog bed. With it in the couch position I put the padded dog beds on the wood frame since I no longer have the mattress that came with it (should have kept it, but let folks talk me into dumping it. I probably never would use it but for sitting on, which is how dad used it, so what does it matter if it would be lumpy to sleep on?). I moved boxes, stacked, shifted, and even moved my Park Ranger stetson boxes (put them up in the aforementioned storage) to clear space for the truck (it WAS getting a little tight to pull in) and ample room for the dogs to move around. I guess I can leave the side door open if I have two dogs sleeping in the space. A pit bull and a catahoula mix--lots of noise from those two will scare off any erstwhile burglars!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 09:06 PM

Actually, I guess that should be "Ohm is where the heat is."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 03:58 PM

The offspring of resistance.... Voltage? Current? Ohm's Law?

Oh, I forgot. You can't go Ohm again....

"Keep the Ohm fires burning...."

"Ohm, Sweet Ohm."

"Ohm on the Range" (a song about electric stoves).

"Ohm is Where the Heart Is."

Ah, moral dilemmas! Shall I stop, or shall I abandon all restraint? Resistance, he said, is futile. But then, can I keep these puns current? Perhaps I could put up an Ohm page on the web....

Ah, if on V did not = IR.... Ou sont les neiges d'antan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 01:47 PM

Resistance is futile, but close to being fertile as well...

Now, what is the offspring of resistance?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 01:30 PM

Resistance may be futile, old friend, but I assure you it is inevitable!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 12:11 PM

9772! Ha! Got it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 12:10 PM

Prepare for the inevitability of complete and total Shatnerization. Coming your way. Resistance is futile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 11:55 AM

What's a snowblower? Sounds like something off-color, like a topless dancer for a geriatric society or something...

A_in_the_rain_in_San_Diego


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 11:30 AM

Actually, a lot of people follow SRS's wisdom in this, and build their own Self-storage environments. The outside looks pretty much like an ordinary humanoid bipedal, complete with nose hairs and earwax for effect.

But once you get inside, the landscape transforms, and each one has its own renegade architecture, its own libraries, and runs a different variant of power supply, has idiosyncratic lighting and weather, and varying degrees of trash and landscaping. This myriad and eclectic architecture of the interior of the Individual Self Storage environment is one of the most interesting things about our species.

The trouble is, of course, that many people get so involved with their self-storage plans and designs that they get quite adverse to letting their Selves out of storage, and thus deny themselves wonderful opportunities to gain new ideas and adventures. Sigh....

Does anyone know where I can get some Pummel Stones left over from some ancient emotional vulcanism? I think I have just the place for them...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 11:26 AM

We had a 8 x 12 x 12 shed when we moved here. We gave it to the Girl Scouts.

Moving twice in three years, we've cut down on a lot of stuff. Still...we have six sewing machines (if you include treadle), and other things, like tools I haven't used yet.

But these were conscious decisions to keep or acquire. Unlike our neighbors, we don't acquire just to acquire. If we did, we have three or four cars & SUVs, a couple jet skis, a couple dirt bikes, an RV that costs more than the house, a speedboat, a couple ATVs, and a golf cart. I wish I were kidding about the list, but it's what the folks immediately east of us have....

We're thinking about getting a smaller shed, mostly for the snowblower and the lawnmower and such. (Yes, we really do need the snowblower!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 10:52 AM

I decided that self-storage was a waste of money so when I built my garage I built a storage area upstairs. You can't quite stand up but there's lots of room for self-storing stuff. I've charged myself to keep all of my storage here at the house.

One of these years I'm going to build a full second story up there and then I may lose some of my storage. I'll have a bigger room to collect stuff that needs storage.

There seems to be a loop here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 10:16 AM

You must have misread the sign. Those are shelf storage places. I've used them and they are full of shelves, all nicely stacked up and in storage for when you might need a shelf. True, you could store yourself on one of the shelves, and that would be a self shelf storage place.

Come to think of it, I know a lady named Sheri who owns one, but it's pretty messy. It's called "Sheri's Self Shelf Slop Emporium." Very few people ever reach the last word.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 12:07 AM

Drove by one of those self-storage places this morning. Wondered how they make any money. I mean, if you store your self, then who's gonna work to make the money to pay the monthly rental on the storage unit? And once the unit's rent gets a couple of months behind, will they auction your self off to the highest bidder? Maybe instead of trying all kinds of drugs and religions and self-help books in attempts to find oneself, it'd be easier to just wait until the self-storage place holds an auction and buy a self real cheaply.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 11:03 PM

It's the wrong time of year to try to do any human studies or captures, freds. You're getting false positives in your readings because of the extra clothing. Go away for a few months and you'll see what I mean. Trust me. . .I wouldn't steer you wrong on this.

;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 09:35 PM

It has two heads. Two heads. Because of the dioxyribonucleic acid from the entity called "Rapaire."

This is not good. Not good at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 09:16 PM

More than that -- true story.

And then there are the theaters....

Ft. Carson, Colorado, December, 1968. We were painting set for a production of You Can't Take It With You, and it was getting on towards 2:30 a.m. Five or six of us were taking a break, drinking some coffee and trying to decide whether to finish it or forget it for the night, when two MPs (Military Policemen) appeared in the theater entrance.

We called to them, offerin them coffee, but they just looked around and left.

No big deal; heck, I was with an MP company at the time.

Then it struck us: these two guys were wearing short-sleeved summer khaki uniforms. In December. In Colorado.

More, their uniforms were of the Korean War era.

Go figure....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 06:21 PM

Good story!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 05:15 PM

Yes, the Williard Library ghost is quite famous among bibliotechal cognoscentii. Or at least among such in Indiana.

If you've every had to "overnight" in an old library....

During my early undergrad years, the library was in a wing of the college that included, above the library, a performance hall. The hall was one of those wonderful old kind with a barrel-vaulted ceiling, and the acoustics were so good that the music department tuned there even though the hall itself hadn't been used for 50 years or more. We'd hear them doing this from time to time.

One night, my friend Peggy was working late and heard cello music. Since it was nearing midnight, she went up the back stairs to see who was there. When she opened the door to the stage, the lights went out and the music stopped. Her flashlight showed no one, and no disturbance of the dust on the stage surface.

The old wing is gone now, torn down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 11:04 AM

There was a "ghost cam" set up in a Snohomish County library a couple of years ago, but I don't find a link to it now. Here is a site with a few library ghosts when I searched on "Snohomish library ghost cam" and here is a Google search on "library ghost cam."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 09:20 AM

I shall stop my backwards trend momentarily and move sideways.

An attorney told me that the County Courthouse here is haunted. In 1976 a clerk was gunned down there by an angry citizen -- the shooter was caught immediately and convicted, the reason was that the shooter didn't think he'd been treated with "respect."

The dead woman, a long-time employee, is said by the janitor to still be around. Lights are turned on at odd hours; the janitor has seen them go on as he steps into a unlit corridor, sort of like "here, I'll help you out." Lights left on by mistake in various offices are also turned off -- he says he's seen that, too.

And now, back to living backwards.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 12:43 AM

90 degrees describes the high temperatures here all week. But we are assured that fall will arrive this weekend. It'll drop to 80.

I had the pleasure this evening of visiting with an old friend at the Friends of the Libraries meeting. We met nearly a dozen years ago when we were both attending the Fort Worth Writers Group, and she is one of several folks who have gone on to write commercially viable books. She was this evening's speaker, and her topic--haunted graveyards. Something she became expert on after a publisher rejected one book she submitted but asked if she'd write one on ghosts instead.

Lots of interesting and very spooky stories were shared by folks during the book signing and reception afterwards. And one of the archivists from Special Collections was a bit unnerved because every time she had to run back to her office the light had been tampered with. Was off when she left it on, and on when she left it off.

Whhoooooo . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 09:51 PM

90 degrees from widdershins!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 09:42 PM

90 degrees to sex! 90 degress to tired old ideas!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 09:16 PM

90 degrees to topical precessation!

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,      
And sorry I could not travel both      
And be one traveler, long I stood      
And looked down eadh as far as I could      
And plowed straight ahead on into the brush.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 05:52 PM

Topical precession is better than a tropical depression, even though they're both just hot air going round in a circle...

And we missed at least one important direction: Back the way you came!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 05:28 PM

90 degrees to topical precessation!

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,        
And sorry I could not travel both        
And be one traveler, long I stood        
And looked down eadh as far as I could        
And plowed straight ahead on into the brush.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 02:49 PM

This sounds like topical precession to me, SRS...no matter how much torque you apply, the spinning system eventually restabilizes back on the same ole plane. It's as if is the strange attractor to which all chaotic serieses of conversations are eventually fated to steer. Don't ask me why. I might answer ya!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 02:32 PM

90 degrees to sex! 90 degress to tired old ideas!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 02:30 PM

I'm so glad no one decided to take me up on the idea of talking about sex. What a tired old idea to begin with. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 01:34 PM

90 degrees from widdershins!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 11:32 AM

I think Mary's style of poshtel is kinda widdershins sometimes. But I love her anyway!!

Widdershins is an interesting notion -- it has been adopted by those who have modernized witchery as a term meaning "counter-clockwise" (as in general useage) but also specifically meaning movements counterclockwise as part of negative magick; at least, apparently in the northern hemisphere. South of the Equator, according to some, the spiral vectors reverse, and widdershins is for positive spells.
Don't ask me why -- when folks start electing mysteries to be mysterious about, there's no rhyme or reason that guides them, nor do they want any.

Speaking of which here's a good direction for BS -- the random collections of Mystery Totems elected by various groups. I know one guy who is quite sure he can tell all about you by starting with a scheme of numbers he maps to the letters in your name, and convoluting from there out. Others get excited to discover that the number of needles on a pinebud is EXACTLY the same as the number of major deities in the Athenian hierarchy circa 400 BC; AND the same number as the number of virgins required to dance on the first crop of olives in Rome almost 500 years later. Coincidence?? I think NOT!

Go figger...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 09:01 AM

90 degrees from everything!

Hyperdimensional dementia!

All directions are new directions, and
All directions are the same direction!

Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them.
But they'll all, face-to-face,
Meet in parallel space
Preceeding their leaders behind them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 08:43 AM

A new direction? There is already:

North
south
East
West
Up
Down
In
Out
Spinward
anti-spinward
clockwise
widdershins
Past
Future


Might I suggest as a new direction Poshtel? ie: heading towrds a posh living style. I personally strive to go poshtel at all times - inspired of course by SINSULL and her positively poshtel sense of style.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 10:16 PM

Bunn, I think you've got it! We need to find a new avenue of BS for Mom! Like we haven't thought of a few thousand already. I know what you mean about ideas drying up. But something will tickle your fancy.

Geez. Do a google search on "tickle your fancy" and it comes up all porn except this one really bizarre looking little dog.

You know, I am an adult, a thinking adult, interested in things to do with pleasure, and sex is one of those things. But the Internet these days just isn't the place to find it. They're so in-your-face about the smut they're pushing.

Okay, back to Bunn's ruminations for a new direction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 10:11 PM

Why, Bunn, it would be 90 degrees perpendicular to whatever the base line was. Dear MOAB is so tangential (but at right angles) as to resemble nothing so much as a multidimensional map of the Internet.

90 degrees to everything!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 07:48 PM

Well, thou Cross Bunn, what would such an original direction look like if someone were to come up with it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 07:01 PM

You know those days when you're just tired, and your brain just doesn't have the energy to come up with anything at all? It's easy to respond to stuff, but striking out in an original direction just doesn't seem to happen.
How many days can one of those days last? I'm getting fed up with it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 04:49 PM

SRS and Bunn and I have the heart-warming knowledge that we kept Mom company.


















Sob.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 04:19 PM

I got KT's CD and Skarpi's CD and Jed Marum's CD and Cara's CD and elizabeth LaPrelle's and three more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 03:53 PM

I have several really nice potential affaires du coeur, old pal, and a dozen magical heart-tumbles....but none of them seem to be working! :D You can have my whole inventory of overwhelm, a bushel of joy, and a copy of all my mental pictures of the event. Howzzat!?? LOL! And when KT sends it to me I will send you a copy of Jeri's fine performance of "When I Go" a song for the ages if ever there was one.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 01:14 PM

Didja bring me anything? Didja didja didja?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 10:16 AM

Did you bring back any interesting souvenirs? New instruments, capos, sheet music, CDs?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 09:48 AM

No, it was THeresa, a two-fisted, leather-lunged scrapper and a lovely lass from England, a good friend of Rumanci's, and a most gifted singer with an amzing inventory of song.

Las Vegas Teresa did not make the scene and is sadly missed, I agree. I would have loved to have met her.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 09:25 AM

This was OUR T? How was she? Haven't heard from her in a while -- Mom was asking about her just the other day, in fact. She said, "That Amos, the rapscallion! He could be out there carousing with Teresa or worse. I do wish that that boy would settle down with some nice girl and raise a family, I do. Maybe learn a good trade, like being a shoemaker or a gravedigger. People are always going to need shoes and graves."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 09:35 PM

Oops--I think no "h"--Teresa.


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