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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bunnahabhain 10 May 05 - 06:01 PM
Rapparee 10 May 05 - 03:50 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 May 05 - 03:06 PM
Acme 10 May 05 - 03:02 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 May 05 - 01:19 PM
Acme 10 May 05 - 01:10 PM
GUEST 10 May 05 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 10 May 05 - 12:34 PM
Amos 10 May 05 - 08:43 AM
Rapparee 10 May 05 - 08:36 AM
Rapparee 10 May 05 - 08:35 AM
Rapparee 10 May 05 - 08:33 AM
Bunnahabhain 10 May 05 - 06:29 AM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 09 May 05 - 11:40 PM
Acme 09 May 05 - 11:06 PM
Rapparee 09 May 05 - 06:47 PM
Bunnahabhain 09 May 05 - 06:42 PM
Acme 09 May 05 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 09 May 05 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 09 May 05 - 08:59 AM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 08 May 05 - 12:40 PM
Acme 08 May 05 - 01:30 AM
Amos 07 May 05 - 08:53 PM
Bunnahabhain 07 May 05 - 03:47 PM
Amos 07 May 05 - 12:32 PM
Rapparee 07 May 05 - 12:07 PM
Bunnahabhain 07 May 05 - 12:02 PM
Amos 07 May 05 - 10:08 AM
Amos 06 May 05 - 07:42 PM
Rapparee 06 May 05 - 12:07 PM
GUEST 06 May 05 - 11:31 AM
Rapparee 06 May 05 - 08:39 AM
GUEST,MMario 06 May 05 - 08:15 AM
Acme 06 May 05 - 12:09 AM
Rapparee 05 May 05 - 11:42 PM
Rustic Rebel 05 May 05 - 08:23 PM
Rustic Rebel 05 May 05 - 08:17 PM
Amos 05 May 05 - 06:46 PM
Acme 05 May 05 - 04:48 PM
Rapparee 05 May 05 - 02:27 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 05 May 05 - 01:09 PM
GUEST,MMario 05 May 05 - 12:03 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 05 May 05 - 11:42 AM
GUEST,Amos 05 May 05 - 11:40 AM
GUEST 05 May 05 - 11:39 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 05 May 05 - 11:35 AM
GUEST,Amos 05 May 05 - 11:19 AM
GUEST,MMario 05 May 05 - 09:14 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 05 May 05 - 09:09 AM
Rapparee 04 May 05 - 10:31 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 May 05 - 06:01 PM

She was impressed, and he has been retained to thorughly inspect the royal chambers twice a week, to the queens satisfaction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:50 PM

His name is Enema Fleet? I bet he had a rough time a Army roll call. But then I assume that Fleet is swift, and that his calling deals with squirming vermin worming their way into the Queen's chamber and disturbing her much-needed beauty rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:06 PM

Rat Catcher is very prestigious!

Good Queen Bess brings her rat Catcher Emrys Fleet with her on progress every summer when she comes to Warwickshire. He's quite an impressive man - and has a very talented dancing weasel named Wilbur. He also runs the Rat Puck tourney and has a special breed of rats both for that and for use in his giant 4 foot slingshots. High speed Vermin! Very exciting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:02 PM

You think he's so enamored of the rat catcher trade that he'll stay over there for a while?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 May 05 - 01:19 PM

ya think so? We don't need to sneak though - 'cause Flamingo Tod is tied up over wishing Jon in Hull congratulations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 May 05 - 01:10 PM

You're just sneaking up on that next nifty number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 10 May 05 - 12:48 PM

James Eduard Valerie Gustaph Lorenzo Tetley(1817-1897) 2nd Earl Grey - known as the Afternoon Tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 12:34 PM

Effusia Winthorpe Stanley-Morton (1837-1896): Hereditary Duchess of Dungfields; recognized mistress of the Afternoon Tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 05 - 08:43 AM

From the Random Essay generator:

An essay on B.S. Generation

To delve deeply into B.S. Generation is an exciting adventure. Underestimate B.S. Generation at your peril. While much has been written on its influence on contemporary living, B.S. Generation is not given the credit if deserves for inspiring many of the worlds famous painters. Often it is seen as both a help and a hinderence to the upper echelons of progressive service sector organisations, who form the last great hope for our civilzation. Hold onto your hats as we begin a journey into B.S. Generation.

Social Factors

Society is a simple word with a very complex definition. The immortal and indispensable phrase 'honesty is the best policy' [1] was clearly refering to the impact of B.S. Generation on today's society. A society without B.S. Generation is like a society without knowledge, in that it cleary plays a significant role amongst the developing middle classes.

Status, Security, Fame - B.S. Generation, all revolve around this 'golden fleece'. It breaks the mould, shattering man's misunderstanding of man.

Economic Factors

Our world is driven by supply and demand. We will study the Simple-Many-Pies model, a lovely model.
Oil
Prices        


B.S. Generation

There are a number of reasons which may be attributed to this unquestionable correlation. My personal view is that oil prices plays in increasingly important role in the market economy. Many analysts fear a subsequent depression.

Political Factors

Politics - smolitics! Comparing international relations since the end of the century can be like observing B.S. Generation and former Wolves striker Steve Bull.

In the words of style icon Bonaventure Lionel Forbes Dickinson 'You can lead a horse to water, big deal.' [2] He was first introduced to B.S. Generation by his mother. Perhaps the word which sums up the importance of B.S. Generation to politics is 'participation'.

One thing's certain. The Human species liberally desires B.S. Generation, and what's more human than politics?
Conclusion

To conclude B.S. Generation deserves all of the attention it gets. It enlightens our daily lives, applauds greatness and figures show it's a winning formular.

Here with the final word is Hollywood's Courteney Morissette: 'I love B.S. Generation? Yes! Hurray for B.S. Generation!' [3]




[1] Traditional - possibly first said by King Arthor... but probably not.

[2] Dickinson - I Am The Dickinster - 1999 Hughs Books

[3] Get On The Bus - Issue 321 - Media Books


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 08:36 AM

Paul N. Drom (6600 BCE -    ): Mathematician and mystic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 08:35 AM

James Constable (1813 - 1840). The least said about him the better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 08:33 AM

Wilfreda, Daughter of Utwulf of the Bog (756 - 777). Died, as she lived, whining about her twin brother, Wilfred, who died at the same time whining about his twin sister. Neither ever did much besides eat, drink, whine, and burp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 May 05 - 06:29 AM

Thanks BWL. Mentioning rhesus monkeys reminded me I should go and give blood. Rhesus factors.

Surely you can orbit in a figure 8 pattern, but not revolve?

Random person of the day.

James Speight 1834-1887. Born Yorkshire, Died after founding the best brewery in New Zealand.

Britian should have enough taste to make a proper brewer the largest in the country as well. Grrrrrr.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 May 05 - 11:40 PM

I don't have a random person of the day. I have a random monkey. His name is Excelsior and he is a garden variety Rhesus monkey. Nothing special about him. He doesn't have a random person either. He has a random flea. The flea's name is Brian. Brian doesn't have a random anything. He doesn't need it. Brian thinks the Universe revolves around him. He's correct. Well... sorta. The Universe actually "revolves" in a very complex figure-eight-like pattern. Brian is the center of one lobe. The center of the other lobe is a jellyfish-like creature named Burtfuhlsnizh who lives on a planet orbiting a star in another galaxy some five billion light-years away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 May 05 - 11:06 PM

Looks like a new game that I've missed (perhaps with a movie tie-in? The new Ridley Scott one, possibly?). Any links?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 05 - 06:47 PM

My random person of the day is:

Gortlik of Unheda (135,034 - 135,082 BCE): eaten by a leopard while trying to perfect the spear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 09 May 05 - 06:42 PM

I blame the tavern, and the ensuing evils of drink. A computer that was refusing to start didn't help either.

Your random person of the day is:

Gundulf 1024-1108. Norman prelate, bishop of Rochester and architect of the tower of London.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 May 05 - 03:33 PM

I tried to get this thread back to the top earlier, Rapaire, but it wouldn't load. Just got the error message that the page was unavailable. I'm glad you were there to catch her!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 05 - 03:30 PM

MOM! Now you cut this out! This is the second time today I've found you near the botton, and this time you were on ONE post away (except that you had my early post today, so you couldn't have fallen off the edge). But you're starting to worry me. (Yes, yes, I know that the others don't seem to care...yes, yes, I'm sure that they do, but they're awfully busy right now doing...things.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 05 - 08:59 AM

Oh, Mother Dear! Here I find you fourth from the Bottom, enqueued to oblivion! Here, let me pull you back from the brink of the abyss!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 05 - 12:40 PM

Are you all down at the tavern?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 May 05 - 01:30 AM

you could call it "Bestial Garden" or some such...wow...

Cute! (been in the garden all day myself--just dropping in to give mom a boost)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 05 - 08:53 PM

I had a girl once who drempt me flat, because she was enamored of a football player on the Junior Varsity. But I fended another.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 07 May 05 - 03:47 PM

Moab, home of Poetry, Quantum physics, Grammar, and more things, Horatio, in heaven and earth than are drempt of in you philosophy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 05 - 12:32 PM

For Rapaire, who is the Grammar of All MOAB:

There are schemata lexeos and schemata dianoeas, that is, figures of words and of senses, but the schemata dianoeas are for the orator, the schemata lexeos pertain to the grammarian. And though there are so many of them, there are of all of them only 17 you need, of which these are the names: 1. prolepsis, 2. zeugma, 3. hypozeuxis, 4. syllepsis, 5. anadiplosis, 6. anaphora, 7. epanalepsis, 8. epizeuxis, 9. paronomasia, 10. schesis onomaton, 11. parhomoeon, 12. homoeoptoton, 13. homoeoteleuton, 14. polyptoton, 15. hirmos, 16. polysyndeton, 17. dialyton.

1. Prolepsis is the foretelling (Vorwegnahme; presumption) of things which (do not) follow the regular order, such as: continuo reges ingenti mole Latinus (Aeneid 12.161) `Then the kings ride forth, Latinus in mighty pomp ...'

2. Zeugma is subsuming under one verb various phrases properly joined to it, as: Troiugena interpres divum, qui numina Phoebi, qui tripodas, Clari lauros, qui sidera sentis (Aeneid 3.359): `O son of Troy, interpreter of the gods, who knowest the will of Phoebus, the tripods, the laurel of the Clarian, the stars ...'

3. Hypozeuxis is a figure contrary to the above, where various verbs are joined to one clause, as: regem adit et regi memorat nomenque genusque (Aeneid 10.149) `He approached the king and announced to the king his name and his race.'

4. Syllepsis the bringing together of different clauses by one word, as _hic illius arma, Hic currus fuit_ (Aeneid 1.15 f.) `Here was her armour, here her chariot.' This scheme is so common that it occurs not only through parts of speech, but also by their accidents (characteristics). It is also syllepsis when singular words are joined by a plural verb, as: sunt nobis mitia poma, castaneae molles et pressi copia lactis. (Eclogues 1.80 f.) "We have ripe apples, soft chestnuts and a wealth of pressed cheese."

5. Anadiplosis is the repetition of words from the end of one verse at the beginning of the next, as: sequitur pulcherrimus Astur, Astur equo fidens. (Aeneid 10.180) `Then follows most beautiful Astur, Astur relying on his steed'.

6. Anaphora is the repetition of the same word at the beginning of several verses, as: nate, meae vires, mea magna potentia solus, nate patris summi, qui tela Typhoea temnis. (Aeneid 1.664) `Oh son, my strength, my mighty power alone, / Oh son, who scorn the Typhoean darts of the highest father'

7. Epanalepsis is the repetition of of a word placed at the beginning of a verse at its end, as: ante etiam sceptrum Dictaci regis et ante. (Georgics 2.536) `Before even the Cretan king held scepter and before' {sounds a little like Snagglepuss}

8. Epizeuxis is the repetition of the same word in one verse without any words between, as: me, me, adsum qui feci, in me convertite ferrum. (Aeneid 9.427) `On me, on me, I am here, who did it, on me turn your blade'

9. Paronomasia is kind of like punning, as: nam inceptio est amentium, haut amantium. (Terence, Andr. 1.3.13; Loeb 218) `This is a scheme more of madmen than of lovers' [a very common pun]

10. Schesis onomaton is a number of nouns joined together in a common way, as: Marsa manus, Peligna cohors, Vestina virum vis. (Ennius, 280) `Marsine hand, Pelignine cohort, Vestine machismo'

11. Parhomoeon happens when several words begin with the same letters, as: o Tite tute Tati tibi tanta tyranne tulisti. (Ennius 1.113; Loeb 109) `Yourself upon yourself, Oh Titus Tatius the Tyrant, you took these terrible troubles.' [very often cited]

12. Homoeoptoton occurs when various words end in the same case, as: merentes flentes lacrimantes commiserantes. (Ennius 1.107; Loeb ?): `sorrowing, weeping, shedding tears, commiserating'.

13. Homoeoteleuton is when several utterances end in a similar fashion, as: eos reduci quam relinqui, devehi quam deseri malui. (Ennius, Iphegenia, fragm. 9) `I did not wish to bring them back as much as to give them up, to lead them as much as to desert them'

14. Polyptoton is the use of many cases in various ways, as: litora litoribus contraria, fluctibus undas inprecor, arma armis, pugnent ipsique nepotesque. (Aeneid 4.628) `Shore against shore, water against wave, I pray, arms against arms, may they fight, they and their children.'

15. Hirmos is a series of utterances keeping their tenor right to the end {linking of associated qualities}, as: principio caelum ac terras camposque liquentes lucentemque globum lunae Titaniaque astra spiritus intus alit (Aeneid 6.724) `First, the watery heavens and the watery earth, and the watery plains, the shining orb of the moon and Titan's stars, a spirit within sustains'

16. Polysyndeton is a phrase joined by many conjunctions, as: Acamasque Thoasque Pelidesque Neoptolemusque (Aeneid 2.262) `Acamus and Thoas and Neoptolemus son of Peleus'

17. Dialyton or asyndeton is a figure contrary to the above, lacking in conjunctions, as: ite, ferte citi flammas, date tela, impellite remos. (Aeneid 4.593) `Go, bring flames quickly, give out spears, ply the oars'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 05 - 12:07 PM

Dear God.

I've just run across this true story which has to be about Bee-Dubya-Ell.

He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening he decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with
glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women
skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence
and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you
leave!" The old coodger frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked. Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 07 May 05 - 12:02 PM

all is forgiven? You sure about that one?

All the stuff we know about is forgiven

is so much safer...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 05 - 10:08 AM

A Sad Day, when the children all stay in the Tavern drinking and hooting and the Thread of Honor sinks slowly to the south end of the page unnoticed!! What were we THINKING???


Rapaire, come back -- all is forgiven.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 05 - 07:42 PM

What an original idea, Rapaire!! You should write a book about it -- you could call it "Bestial Garden" or some such...wow...you're really brilliant. That is so subtle. You could have talking animals who ruin their garden by shoving each other and bragging. I am sure it would be a best-seller.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 05 - 12:07 PM

All are created equal, but some are more equal than others.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 06 May 05 - 11:31 AM

MOAB-ite good, Rapaire better?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 05 - 08:39 AM

I must admit that Mom does not love me best. I was only saying that in the hope of raising her spirits even more on one of her special days. I know that she'd like, but her inate spirit of fairness won't let her. So now you know. Mom doesn't love me best. She cares for all of us equally, only I'm a little more equal than anybody else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 06 May 05 - 08:15 AM

Happy UN-birthday MOM! We love you 24/7 365. 366 in leap years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 05 - 12:09 AM

We have a first edition of his book at my university.

I hope MOMs birthday was everything she was hoping for!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:42 PM

7640 is divisible by 5, yeilding 1528. And everyone knows that in 1528
Alvar Nunez Cabeza de Vaca, survivor of an ill-fated attempt to
conquer Florida and the southeast, was shipwrecked on Galveston Island off the Texas coast and began his eight year odyssey as one of the first
Europeans to set foot in the American West.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 May 05 - 08:23 PM

PS. I believe that last post had to have had a significant meaning in mathmatical terms. I don't know what that meaning could be, but it was post 7640. No '5' in it, but posted on 5/5/05. There must be a mystical 5 in there somewhere?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 May 05 - 08:17 PM

As I pulled out of my driveway this, cool, misty morning, I was witness to a beautiful blonde stallion mounting an equally beautiful blonde mare,and thought to myself,
Oh, Mother, Ooo..Mother...
Oh Yes!! It's the Mother's Birthday!!
Happy Birthday Mother, Here's 'Mud' in your eye!


(I didn't miss it this year. Last year I was a day late. Page 93 descending, Amos posted the 3000 post to celebrate one year and MOAB became an official member to Mudcat Cafe. Time sure flies when your flinging the bullshit.)

I'll have to go drink one to MOAB at the tavern, to see what the hell your bullshittin' about Amos....See Ya there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 05 - 06:46 PM

The last post in my name, complaining of pretentiousness, was not by me, but by some half-brained idiot who thought it would be cute to take advantage of a system failure to steal my ID, a pusillanimous minicephalic wanker if ever there was.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 May 05 - 04:48 PM

Now that it's opened for MOMs birthday bash, the Mudcat Tavern has potential to get as sticky as it has ever been in it's entire history. Let's hope the giant squid stays away this time, or the ensuing slime/sticky trail will be like Nads' Central.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 05 - 02:27 PM

And if it happens again...not even God can help you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 05 May 05 - 01:09 PM

The last post under my nom-de-claviers was not done by me. I rarely, if ever, use the word "wankers." I'd use the term "jerkoffs" since I'm not in the UK.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 05 May 05 - 12:03 PM

inevitable, really - but surely just a phase?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:42 AM

Yes Amos, we do appear to have turned into a brace of total wankers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:40 AM

What a load of self centred bollocks this thread has become. Pretentious? Moi?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:39 AM

define "early"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:35 AM

My biological mother set me out on the porch one night when I was four months old and put the empty milk bottles to bed. I was discovered by a roving pack of timber wolves, who raised me until they became extinct in Illinois. I was then adopted, at the age of eight years, by a group of nomadic debutantes who taught me about Life and Art and Everything, eventually fostering me to the Ard Ri, Aodh I (called Ruadh), for my training as a warrior, sage, and poet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:19 AM

I was NOT telling lies, Stilly, and why should you be complaining about my cutting you in on the legacy, in rebuttal of Rapaire's "mammy's favourite chile" syndrome. Everyone knows this is an aberrant, pre-pubescent fantasy complex with the potential; of long-lasting psychosis if not outgrown early in life.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 05 May 05 - 09:14 AM

HA! Little you know Rapaire! Our MOM-MOAB is at the new SPA section of NYCFTTS enjoying herself before she goes to the party at the Tavern! So she's not even home!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 05 May 05 - 09:09 AM

Ha! See, Mom? What did I tell you?

I am the very first person to post to you on your birthday! Nobody else cares, and that's why you love me best. Happy Birthday to my very favorite Mother from her very favorite child.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 05 - 10:31 PM

Happy, Happy Birthday, Mom, from the kid you've always loved best.


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