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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 22 Jul 08 - 10:23 AM
MMario 22 Jul 08 - 10:41 AM
Acme 22 Jul 08 - 10:51 AM
Amos 22 Jul 08 - 12:16 PM
Little Hawk 22 Jul 08 - 12:23 PM
Amos 22 Jul 08 - 01:51 PM
Acme 22 Jul 08 - 02:22 PM
Little Hawk 22 Jul 08 - 02:46 PM
Little Hawk 22 Jul 08 - 02:53 PM
Amos 22 Jul 08 - 03:30 PM
MMario 22 Jul 08 - 03:35 PM
Little Hawk 22 Jul 08 - 03:50 PM
Amos 22 Jul 08 - 04:33 PM
Acme 22 Jul 08 - 05:09 PM
Little Hawk 22 Jul 08 - 05:59 PM
Acme 22 Jul 08 - 06:08 PM
Amos 22 Jul 08 - 08:18 PM
Amos 22 Jul 08 - 10:44 PM
Rapparee 22 Jul 08 - 10:53 PM
Acme 22 Jul 08 - 11:20 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 08 - 08:35 AM
Amos 23 Jul 08 - 03:19 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 08 - 03:26 PM
Amos 23 Jul 08 - 04:51 PM
Amos 23 Jul 08 - 08:12 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 08 - 09:16 PM
Acme 23 Jul 08 - 10:47 PM
Amos 23 Jul 08 - 11:04 PM
Acme 23 Jul 08 - 11:26 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 08 - 09:19 AM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 10:20 AM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 08 - 11:54 AM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 01:19 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 08 - 01:26 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 08 - 02:35 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 03:44 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 08 - 03:53 PM
Acme 24 Jul 08 - 04:32 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 08 - 04:41 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 04:52 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 08 - 06:08 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 08 - 06:17 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 06:52 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 06:57 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 06:58 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 06:59 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 08 - 09:18 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 08 - 10:55 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 11:27 PM
Acme 25 Jul 08 - 12:13 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 10:23 AM

Your mind, quick as any computer, is now traveling to Egypt and calculating on the contents of the memory banks of Denial.

Chinga is perfectly real, penis-breath. As real as Shane! As real as Chongo!! As real as Shatman!! As real as Shane's brother!! As real as the Authorial Hamster Corridus!! As real as Rapaire!!

And besides, just because a gal is a little liberal with her favors and lives life on the scandalous side is not any reason to go calling her unreal. That's very judgemental of you, LIttle Hawk, really.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 10:41 AM

Chinga is much more believable then Shatner. I mean really.

And you have to admire her for her stamina and drive.

Stilly - you ever tried eggplant in chili/garlic brown sauce? YUMMERS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 10:51 AM

Just think about the disappointment of someone trying to Booble serious smut and ending up on MOAB. Harharhar!

Oh, and Rap, Bosch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 12:16 PM

And Shaw, too!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 12:23 PM

I hope that Homeland Security gets a hot tip to investigate the MOAB, and that when they do it buggers up their database to the point of rendering it unusable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 01:51 PM

I share your hopes; for even though you are a foreigner, are not we brothers under the skin?


Let me not expand on this theme unduly, however...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 02:22 PM

They might even learn something along the way.

Step one of my final day of picking grapes has been completed: I took a pruning shear over to my tree with grape vines and I cut out as many of the spreading poison ivy tendrils as I could. I had my rake and I moved them all off to the side. Then after 15 minutes or so I came home to take a paper towel with rubbing alcohol and swabbed off my hands and legs then my rake and pruner. Trying to put that pesky poison ivy oil out of commission.

Next, I'll take a tarp and the long handled pruner and see if I can't get another quart or so of grapes, to top off my batch I've been juicing this week. Third time's the charm. I'm going to teach my 16-year-old son to make jelly later this week. He eats enough of it, he might was well know how to make it! (He also helped pick most of the grapes yesterday, despite his protests that he'd rather be doing something else).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 02:46 PM

They'd always rather be doing "something else". ;-) My dogs feel that way too, except when mealtime rolls around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 02:53 PM

By the way, if you want to get rid of that poison ivy patch for certain sure, just hire Rapaire to do the job. A little excavation, a little plastic explosive, some wires, a detonator....

It'll all be taken care of in one glorious moment, and your whole community will take note. In fact, I would consider selling tickets in advance of the event. A lot of people (mostly males) really like seeing things like that, and you are in Texas, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 03:30 PM

Hey!! Let's do a dramatization of Spaw's infamous Patty Poop-Chute Dolls and the Christian Inflatables!! Do it right at twilight, and invite all the neighbors in, bors in, invite all the neighbors in.

Sparkler dicks and gas-filled inflatable dolls and BANG! The ivy goes away and you get cash and infamy!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 03:35 PM

Wasn't it Khandu's coronation that 'Spaw first attempted that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 03:50 PM

I can guaran-damn-TEE it that if Stilly does this, she will become a household name in her community. Probably get a spot on the national news too. Five minutes of fame, here she comes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 04:33 PM

Betting on the MOAB entering the real world--especially at a trans-reality portal somewhere in Texas--is too easy, LH, and no real bet at all.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 05:09 PM

Besides, you'd blow the grapes to kingdom come. No point in doing that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 05:59 PM

Oh, well, you harvest the grapes first, you see. Then transplant the grapevines (and the pit bulls) temporarily to a safe location. Then blow the poison ivy to kingdom come.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 06:08 PM

Well in that case. . . but you'd better bring a cooler for your beer, that is, if you're planning to make an evening of the event. The creek next to the grape and poison ivy tree is probably 90 degrees by now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 08:18 PM

Grape Day in the Morning!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 10:44 PM

The red wine creepeth as evening under my poor senses,
And brings on an eventide of the spirit; so
Are the posts of the Mother delayed, slowed and dulled,
Until another sun showeth their truer lights abroad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 10:53 PM

Oh fer...look. A bit of powdered magnesium, some powdered aluminum, a touch of potassium perchlorate, maybe some strontium nitrate for a lovely red color, sprinkle liberally on the poison ivy, drop a lit match.... But do it when the wind is blowing away from your house since the smoke for poison ivy carries the irritant. Don't make your house unlivable -- annoy the neighbors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 11:20 PM

I prefer the lovely red color to come from the grapes. This batch (next to the beer purely for scientific reasons--perspective, you know) hadn't been filtered yet. It was made into jelly last week over at a friend's house. I have another smaller batch of juice in there now so I can show my son how jelly is made.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 08:35 AM

It takes longer to ferment if you put it in the refridgerator....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 03:19 PM

Some people will do anything ferment; others are fonder of chamomile. It's enough to turn an Earl gray. Or at least send him to an earl-y grave.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 03:26 PM

Not if you take a little pekoe first, Amos. Prevents you from making an assam of yourself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 04:51 PM

Well, either you or the thing you pekoe at is ptobably an ass anyway, if not both.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 08:12 PM

So... it was far fettched!! SO???? So, what--everybody runs off until Mom calls allie-allie-in-free?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 09:16 PM

I have not complained, have I? Has Little Hawk? Has Stilly? Has anyone??

"The guilty man flees when no one pursueth."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 10:47 PM

I'm going to get T-ed off by this banter if you don't put it on ice pretty soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 11:04 PM

That would be a steep price, darjeeling; perhaps you've been under a strain?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 11:26 PM

No, and I haven't noticed any bags under my eyes, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 09:19 AM

Why are T cups so small and the others so big?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 10:20 AM

T-cups, like T-ball, are intended for the pre-pubescent training set.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 11:54 AM

Keeping abreast of all those burning issues, are we?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 01:19 PM

Yours may be a more burning issue than mine, T-buddy.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 01:26 PM

I'm not "T-buddy", Teribus is "T-buddy". Now there is a serious case of having some burning issues.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 02:35 PM

Teribus is, obviously, Old School.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 03:44 PM

The Old School, then, I would have to guess, subscribes to the categorical imperative that ideals must be based on force. ANd I thought PLato was old!! His school is 20th century compared to the neanderthal version.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 03:53 PM

I think he went to Eatin or Harlot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 04:32 PM

Naw, he went to Takeout.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 04:41 PM

Wherever he went, they need to revise and update the curriculum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 04:52 PM

Takeout-on-Fishanchips, Brewshire, Brassex, eckshually...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:08 PM

Indubitably, my good chap. Indubitably.

Haven't you always wanted to be a mustachioed British gent clad in an expensive smoking jacket and wearing a monocle, who opens his study doors only to find several complete strangers of both genders entangled in a mass of nude and palpitating bodies on his priceless Persian rug, clearly engaged in what is politely referred to as "group coition"...upon which said gent's jaw drops to the floor in utter gobsmacked outrage, and he utters these undying words:

"WHAT...IS....THE MEANING OF THIS????!!"

I know I have. ;-D

I love those sort of scenes. The confrontation of stuffy old class and tradition with total, absolute license and depravity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:17 PM

It's not REAL depravity unless worms are involved.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:52 PM

Interesting definition, Sir Paire. I can only assume you derived it from your own experiments?

A Ritchie County, West Virginia farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm and knocked at the door. A young boy about 9 years old opened the door.

'Is yer Dad home?' the farmer asked.

'No sir, he ain't,' the boy replied. 'He went into town.'

'Well,' said the farmer, 'is yer Mom here?'

'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.'

'How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?'

'He went with Mom and Dad.'

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' the boy asked politely.

'I know where all the tools are if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad.'

'Well,' said the farmer uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant.'

The boy considered for a moment. 'You would have to talk to Pa about that' he finally conceded.   'If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard.'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:57 PM

I'm glad we're all still chimig in,
And each has got his licks....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:58 PM

I'm glad for Still and Leedle Hack,
And Rapaire's dirty tricks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:59 PM

But most of all, I'm glad that Mom
Made Twenty-four K, six!


Winfred Donuthole
Songs from a Silver Diner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 09:18 PM

It certainly is a lovely number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 10:55 PM

I want to know how to "chimig in". It sounds like the sort of perverted thing a SoCal native would do and it might be fun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 11:27 PM

Just do the Murdoch Moor until you start to feel the chimig start up, and then jump in. Simple!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 12:13 AM

But don't bang into the dresser when you do! The room is small.


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