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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 26 Oct 09 - 04:15 PM
Janie 26 Oct 09 - 07:20 PM
Janie 26 Oct 09 - 07:43 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 09 - 09:03 PM
Janie 26 Oct 09 - 09:06 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 09 - 09:28 PM
Janie 26 Oct 09 - 09:51 PM
Acme 26 Oct 09 - 09:51 PM
Janie 26 Oct 09 - 10:18 PM
Amos 26 Oct 09 - 10:27 PM
Janie 26 Oct 09 - 10:33 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 09 - 09:31 AM
Amos 27 Oct 09 - 10:56 AM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 09 - 11:26 AM
Amos 27 Oct 09 - 11:33 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 09 - 01:21 PM
Amos 27 Oct 09 - 03:31 PM
Ed T 27 Oct 09 - 04:14 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 09 - 04:20 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 09 - 06:12 PM
Amos 27 Oct 09 - 08:07 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 09 - 08:40 PM
Janie 27 Oct 09 - 09:01 PM
Janie 27 Oct 09 - 09:12 PM
Janie 27 Oct 09 - 09:14 PM
Janie 27 Oct 09 - 09:26 PM
Janie 27 Oct 09 - 09:41 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 09 - 10:06 PM
Janie 27 Oct 09 - 11:18 PM
Acme 28 Oct 09 - 11:22 AM
Amos 28 Oct 09 - 11:32 AM
Amos 28 Oct 09 - 11:36 AM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 09 - 11:56 AM
Rapparee 28 Oct 09 - 12:05 PM
Janie 28 Oct 09 - 12:17 PM
Amos 28 Oct 09 - 01:13 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 09 - 02:29 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 09 - 02:47 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 09 - 03:41 PM
Amos 28 Oct 09 - 04:01 PM
Janie 28 Oct 09 - 04:10 PM
Amos 28 Oct 09 - 04:41 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 09 - 05:16 PM
Amos 28 Oct 09 - 05:38 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 09 - 05:46 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 09 - 06:48 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 09 - 06:49 PM
Amos 28 Oct 09 - 06:52 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 09 - 07:05 PM
Amos 28 Oct 09 - 07:15 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 04:15 PM

The noble Rapaire is a fine discriminating hunk of a lad, indeed. Do tell him so for me should you chance to meet.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 07:20 PM

If the noble Repaire don't lay off, I'm gonna gag.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 07:43 PM

Hi MOM.

Now I remember why I haven't bought a bottle of Chardonnay in a long time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 09:03 PM

The noble Rapaire suggests that you run right out and do so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 09:06 PM

neener, neener, neener - already did. So there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 09:28 PM

The noble Rapaire is pleased, and wishes you great happiness with it and from it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 09:51 PM

Dear Amos,

T'was your words that cast the spell that brung forth this Noble Rapaire from the shadows. He is even more obnoxious than the real Rapaire. Please cast another spell to send this one back to the depths from which he sprang, there to release the bindings on the real, sarcastic, plagarizing, blood-thirsty, explosion loving, saber rattling Rapaire. He is pretty bad, but much more tolerable than this imposter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 09:51 PM

Last week I rescued a very pleasant little Spanish red wine from the deep discount table at the local grocery. It was mixed in with a lot of fruity sweet stuff with alcohol they put in wine bottles (Boone's Farm, etc.) I do drink Chardonnay on occasion, but tend to go more for the reds or some of the German wines (Gewürztraminer is a very nice white, sweeter than Chardonnay, but a great one during summer after dinner. Most of the ones that are the Kabinett (sp?) level of sweetness I like.

(Janie, Don't let them know you're looking, but are they finished with the "noble" stuff?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 10:18 PM

(My eyes are closed, so they can't see me. Their attention spans are quite short as a rule, so hoping this "phase" will pass. )

Must not be my night to drink wine. The chardonnay was too sweet for me to tolerate (Woodbridge), so I set it aside to use for cooking and went out to buy a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon - Chateau Ste Michelle 2004. Expected a nice, aged, smooth red. I mean, $15.00 is high dollar wine for me:=)

Got home, opened it, took a sip.    Skanky.      Bad cork.

Good night to research 40's and 50's blues.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 10:27 PM

It is my fault. I hoodwinked the real Rapaire into promising to be nice, and this is his passive aggressive solution.

I discharge thee from they bond, Rapaire!! I release thee from thine oath. Be but thine own true self and all shall be forgiven.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 10:33 PM

Oh Amos. My hero!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 09:31 AM

The Wise and Noble Rapaire likes himself but he will change to please others, for there is no higher purpose in life than helping others.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 10:56 AM

Um, Wise and Noble, it is usual, in English speaking countries, for a person who is actually being his true self NOT to refer to himself in the third person. It violates the consensual constraints of the mapping domain for social interactions, you know...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 11:26 AM

"there is no higher purpose in life than helping others"

So true! And that is why I attended the National Shatnerization conference in Ottawa, our nation's capital, this past weekend, seeking ways to help others. The event was of course chaired by none other than our Fearless Leader himself, William Shatner. We explored ways and means to achieve complete national Shatnerization in Canada by 2012...after which we will work to extend it to the entire world.

Many inspiring speeches were given.

The general mood of the attendees was quite positive. Although full Shatnerization of this society has not yet been achieved (despite earnest efforts that began as early as the late 60's), it was agreed by most attendees that we are getting reasonably close.

I had to stay over an extra day in Ottawa as Mr Shatner took aside a few of the more advanced accolytes for a special accelerator course held at a retreat centre in Kanata. It was incredible!

I feel exhausted, but quite elated, and ready to gear up for FULL Shanerization by August 2012!

Don't believe in the alarmist BS about December 2012 that's coming out soon in Hollywood disaster movies. It's complete nonsense. We are going to embark on a brilliant new phase of human prosperity and spiritual development all over this planet, and it will begin on August 24th 2012!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 11:33 AM

By dawn next day the Hawk was back,
Riding on his bikey
The scars on both his knees had healed,
If not those on his psyche.
He'd gone to see a guru-man
All balding, fat and gray,
While the rest of, why we just dug on
For the 32 of Kay.

The sun it got to bold Rapaire
So we put him on the shelf;
He'd started calling himself names,
And was quite beside himself.
But he'd made posts of good BS,
In a bold and noble way,
So we let him fall back, and took up the slack,
Bound for 32 of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 01:21 PM

Geez, Amos...rhyming "bikey" with "psyche". Knowing LH as you do, why didn't you use "trikey" instead?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 03:31 PM

Well, Rapaire, the opportunity did not escape me, but, you know, I was trying to be nice. Welcome back!! :D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 04:14 PM

"If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? " unknown source


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 04:20 PM

I was working in the Library late one night
When my eyes beheld an awful sight
For my servers from their racks began to corrupt
And suddenly and quite abrupt

They did the mash
They did the data mash
They did the data mash
It was quite a crash
They did the mash
It spread in a flash
They did the mash
They did the data smash.

From my library in the midst of town
To the east and the west catalogs were crashing down
The web bots all came from their Google abodes
To crash and corrupt our servers' nodes.

They did the mash
They did the data mash
They did the data mash
It was quite a crash
They did the mash
It spread in a flash
They did the mash
They did the data smash.

The web bots were having fun
The party had just begun
They corrupted our executables
And when that was done
They fled before the rising sun!

They did the mash
They did the data mash
They did the data mash
It was quite a crash
They did the mash
It spread in a flash
They did the mash
They did the data smash...(repeat ad nauseam)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 06:12 PM

Ed - They are here to teach us generosity, patience, and compassion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 08:07 PM

Speaking as one of the others, I think Little Hawk is exactly right. If you all would just treat me with compassion and patience, it would be much better.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 08:40 PM

Oh, believe me when I say I treat you with compassion and patience.

And pity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 09:01 PM

I can survive without the compassion and patience, but would greatly appreciate your generosity. PM for information on where to send certified checks or money orders:^)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 09:12 PM

Hey MOM, I got home to find an invitation for a party stuck in my door!

I can hear the gospel fully preached and explained and they ain't gonna pass the collection plate neither! AND, they are doing it in a tent! Beats doing it in the road, I guess, what with the hard asphault and all.

All I have to do is answer "The Big Question", according to one of the two flyers stuck in the door. And it's an easy one.

And I quote:

The big question is "Have you been born again?"    It is not: "Have you joined a church?" or "Are you trying to do your best?" or "Are you religious" - but "Are you twice born?"

Well, maybe not so easy a question. What if I've been born again, and again, and again, and again? That's more than twice.

Hmmmm........


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 09:14 PM

Think I'll burn in hell for forgetting to end the italics at the end of the quoted material?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 09:26 PM

I tend to post in couplets but tonight, you'll note it's quad
All for brother Amos' sake t'ward three two kay I plod
Not for Amos only now, for MOM and Stilly too
And Bold Rapaire, and Eddie T, and Mmario, 'tis true
I can not lay a tie, hammer steel or light explosives
Nor shovel coal, nor lay the line or haul the fire hoses
And when we finally get to there
I will tweek all your noses.

( A Poem. By Henry Gibson's Shade)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 09:41 PM

This is not good. This is not right.
Five times now I post tonight
And when I hit submit, oh dear,
Stilly pops another beer.

Some one stop me. Stop me, please!
I fear I have a dread disease.
Submitis, dumb or not
Stupid posts I can not stop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 10:06 PM

Take a deep breath and control yourself, woman! Go through the Lamaze exercises again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 11:18 PM

Oh yeh, I remember.

Those Lamaze worked real good...........






right up until I went into hard labor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 11:22 AM

I wish, Janie, but I'm on a diet. No beer or wine for a while longer.

Rap, I hope that account of a server mash was only a nightmare, not an accounting of an actual library event.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 11:32 AM

One-sixteen , me lads and lasses!!!
Breath and push, and move your asses!
Dumb or not, guested or hosted
Cheers to she who has often posted!

Onward! Onward! Raise the call,
Bring the dweeb from down the hall!
Bring your cousin, silly bitch,
Just to render MOAB rich!

Bring your banker, tailor, lawyer!
Call a plumber or a sawyer!
One-sixteen!! We're on the way
To reach the fabled next of K!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 11:36 AM

But beware, in your elation,
To shun triboelectrification.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 11:56 AM

It's my opinion, Janie, that I've been born again hundreds or even thousands of times by now. I wonder what they'd do with that? ;-)

From the Gospel of Bob: "He not busy being born is busy dying."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 12:05 PM

Oh, it's quite true. Google bots got into our catalog software and corrupted the executables -- turned them cute li'l kids into nasty street punks. Turned out they'd also corrupted the backup tape. So we had to load a whole new population of sweet little executables, only now we have to re-customize all of the eleven libraries affected.

I've sent a nasty e-note to Google about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 12:17 PM

I thought of you right off, LH:>)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 01:13 PM

I am sorry for your tsuris, Rapaire. On behalf of all Google employees everywhere, and all Google code, scripts, CSS pages, bots, worms, spiders, crawlers, anti-virus screens, AI routines, and algorithms throughout Googledom, I apologize to your library and to you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 02:29 PM

If I don't hear from them shortly Amos, would you act as my second?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 02:47 PM

Who is the noble Rapaire? Who is he
That everyone everywhere should wish to be?
?It is the generous Spirit, who, when brought
Among the tasks of real life, hath wrought
Upon the plan that pleased his boyish thought:
Whose high endeavours are an inward light
That makes the path before him always bright;
Who, with a natural instinct to discern
What knowledge can perform, is diligent to learn;
Abides by this resolve, and stops not there,
But makes his moral being his prime care;
Who, doomed to go in company with Pain,
And Fear, and Bloodshed, miserable train!
Turns his necessity to glorious gain;
In face of these doth exercise a power
Which is our human nature's highest dower:
Controls them and subdues, transmutes, bereaves
Of their bad influence, and their good receives:
By objects, which might force the soul to abate
Her feeling, rendered more compassionate;
Is placable?because occasions rise
So often that demand such sacrifice;
More skilful in self-knowledge, even more pure,
As tempted more; more able to endure,
As more exposed to suffering and distress;
Thence, also, more alive to tenderness.
          --William Wordsworth-Ripov, The Compleat Plagarisms
          (Unalaska, Alaska: Backfloe Pub., 1834)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 03:41 PM

Sounds like a character sketch of William Shatner...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 04:01 PM

What a Happy Warrior is M. Ripov!! Probably a Cossack, by the sound of it. What do you think his Word's worth?




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 04:10 PM

Come on, MOM, let's go for a drive! Bring your walker, and we'll turn it into a little hike. The trees are ablaze in color and the sky is that beautiful, autumn, cloudless Carolina blue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 04:41 PM

I have the whole ballad in one place but I will not post it until the hour is come.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 05:16 PM

Mmmm, boy...what a gorgeous day! The birds are singing, the chipmunks are chirping, all is well with the world.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 05:38 PM

But...but...aren't you about to get whumped with a sockdologer? Or was that someone else?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 05:46 PM

Amos, do you mean LH himself?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 06:48 PM

He wouldn't dare speak of mois in such a fashion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 06:49 PM

Hey! I just snagged 31,900.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 06:52 PM

The snaggliest tooth of them all, the good LH, was indeed the person of whom I spoke. Congratulations, Little Haw. To come so close to the the Thirty Two of Kay is an honor which outshines even Fat Bill the Shat upon whom etcetera.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 07:05 PM

You think? Well...it is pretty special, isn't it?

Maybe I'll get the Nobel Peace Prize next year for that. Or the Order of Canada.

That would sure be nifty! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 09 - 07:15 PM

The shadows stole along the rails
As the day began to wane.
And each man and woman solemn swore
They'd do it all again
They'd undergo the backbreak work,
The splinters, dust, and pain,
To lay the way to the next of Kay
For the mighty MOAB train.

And as the rugged, ragged thread
Grew longer, post by post,
We smiled, although our fingers bled,
And traded jibes and boasts
We had only ninety-eight to go,
One more long night to haul,
'Til we'd see that shining bullet fly,
The Mother cannon-ball.

So we heisted up and turned back to,
And hauled another span.
Each one who vowed to see it through,
Each woman, and each man,
Though fingers worn and eyes were sore
And lives in shards did lay,
Would post, and post, and post again
For the Thirty Two of Kay.


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Mudcat time: 20 October 7:48 PM EDT

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