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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 20 Jan 11 - 09:36 PM
Rapparee 20 Jan 11 - 09:41 PM
Amos 20 Jan 11 - 10:17 PM
Acme 21 Jan 11 - 12:29 AM
Rapparee 21 Jan 11 - 09:37 AM
Amos 21 Jan 11 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 21 Jan 11 - 09:49 AM
Amos 21 Jan 11 - 10:57 AM
Little Hawk 21 Jan 11 - 12:11 PM
gnu 21 Jan 11 - 12:57 PM
Rapparee 21 Jan 11 - 01:49 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 11 - 10:25 AM
Amos 22 Jan 11 - 12:16 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 11 - 12:55 PM
Little Hawk 22 Jan 11 - 01:19 PM
Amos 22 Jan 11 - 03:37 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 11 - 09:05 PM
Little Hawk 22 Jan 11 - 09:36 PM
Amos 22 Jan 11 - 10:03 PM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 22 Jan 11 - 10:14 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 11 - 10:15 PM
Amos 23 Jan 11 - 11:09 AM
Little Hawk 23 Jan 11 - 11:33 AM
Rapparee 23 Jan 11 - 12:22 PM
Acme 23 Jan 11 - 01:19 PM
Amos 23 Jan 11 - 01:28 PM
Eiseley 23 Jan 11 - 02:27 PM
Amos 23 Jan 11 - 04:56 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 11 - 08:05 PM
Janie 23 Jan 11 - 08:26 PM
gnu 23 Jan 11 - 08:29 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 11 - 09:02 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 11 - 09:00 AM
Eiseley 24 Jan 11 - 10:35 AM
Amos 24 Jan 11 - 12:14 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 24 Jan 11 - 12:45 PM
Amos 24 Jan 11 - 01:42 PM
Amos 24 Jan 11 - 03:06 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jan 11 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 11 - 05:38 PM
Amos 24 Jan 11 - 05:43 PM
gnu 24 Jan 11 - 05:46 PM
Janie 24 Jan 11 - 06:41 PM
Acme 24 Jan 11 - 07:53 PM
Janie 24 Jan 11 - 08:43 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 11 - 09:14 PM
Amos 24 Jan 11 - 09:30 PM
Janie 25 Jan 11 - 12:14 AM
Janie 25 Jan 11 - 12:23 AM
Rapparee 25 Jan 11 - 07:29 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 09:36 PM

Gnu got BC!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 09:41 PM

By the way, Eiseley has been in my office several times and the trophies have never bothered her one whit. They are all tastefully done and, with the dark walnut wainscoting, paneling, bookcases, gun racks, and fireplace give the place quite an air of the well-bred and well-read gentleman. It's a pity I gave up smoking my pipes and don't have a dog to lie at my feet whilst I enjoy a rousing tome of Teddy Roosevelt's adventures in Africa, smoke a good shag tobacco, and enjoy a fine single malt or cognac while the snow gently falls outside.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 10:17 PM

It's fine indeed that you have such worldly appointments to give you airs, sirrah, saving you the trouble of doing it yourself.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 12:29 AM

No "worldly appointments" (or interest in) but the dog to lie at my feet whilst I enjoy a rousing tome of Teddy Roosevelt's adventures in Africa I can manage. Two dogs, in fact. And since it's a cold night out, they'll be in their beds, not at my feet. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 09:37 AM

Well, I still have the pipes. I used to be able to play music on them, but I'm really, really out of practice. They're up on top of the bookcase, next to the toilet bowl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 09:48 AM

Is that the tale of his travels down the unmeasured river that he barely survived? Grand story.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 09:49 AM

One of the medical conditions doctors don't talk much about....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 10:57 AM

What is this furred-tongue condition called?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 12:11 PM

Licanthrobitiasis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 12:57 PM

I had that after I got Screeched In (properly... not this whimpy tourist type Screeching In.) It comes back now and then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 01:49 PM

Amos, it's called (by the Mayo Clinic, among other reputable establishments) "Hairy Black Tongue." Oh, yeah -- it goes away without treatment and you get it sort of the same way you get Hairy Green Palms.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 10:25 AM

Good Lord, Mom! You were second from the very bottom! You know better than to go slumming like THAT! Laying in the gutter covered with peels and worse and stinking of cheap gin -- it that any sort of example to give your kid...well, Amos already does that, I guess. Quite often, in fact. But the rest of us are well-mannered and upstanding citizens, just as you taught us to be. Don't go letting us down now and...what do you mean, "Just shut the hell up, kid!"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 12:16 PM

I think the reason Mom gives Rapp such good advice is that she feels sorry for his tongue. In any case, I never got taught those things, the way she explained "Shut up" to him. My upbriniging was much less kind and considerate. Keep that in mind the next time you go casting aspersions, oh Scurrilous One.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 12:55 PM

So laying drunk in gutters, covered with what can only kindly be called "debris," comes naturally to you, Amos? I used to be quite a wastrel, but I was taught to be so. Lord, man, you are a Natural Talent!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 01:19 PM

I think that the less we hear about your upbriniging, the better, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 03:37 PM

Although I have often been drunk, sir, I have never lain in a gutter; I have always enjoyed better premises at which to be drunk. As for being covered, I was born with a silk sarong around my waist, and have always been th ebetter for it; I have been covered in satins, tweeds, homespun, and eiderdown, but never in debris.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 09:05 PM

"Debris" was a euphemism. That's what you use if you a hesitant about saying someone was laying in a gutter covered with puke, cheap wine, and various kinds of filth. The word "Euphemism" comes from the Greek Ευφημισμός, which means "a more delicate way of saying something so that you don't offend the sensibilities of others or get a good poke in the nose."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 09:36 PM

You seem to be describing Shane's life on the weekends, Rapparee, only he usually can't afford cheap wine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 10:03 PM

As for not offending others' sensibilities, perhaps you should abandon the effort as a lost cause, cut your losses, so to speak, and take up Christian Science.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 10:14 PM

Amos Lightfoot: "...I have always enjoyed better premises at which to be drunk. As for being covered,....we always closed the dumpster lid".

Wink,
GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 10:15 PM

Amos, I have sense AND sensibility, and my pride precludes prejudice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 11:09 AM

Yet your War has no Peace, your Troilus no Cressida, your Empire no decline, your Barnes lacks all Noble, your Calvin has lost its Hobbes, your parks their recreation, your health their human services, your better homes their gardens, and your William its Mary!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 11:33 AM

You, sir, are what is referred to in Jamaican patois as a blabbamout'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 12:22 PM

But my heart has soul, and my love no bounds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 01:19 PM

After an absence of just a few hours it is sometimes quite a challenge to jump into the stream again. All I can think of are one word titles this morning. Babbitt. Arrowsmith.

But wait. His Moby has no Dick. That'll work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 01:28 PM

Although his brain is deep and lobey
He suffers from a dickless Moby!
And if he's high or if he low be
No joy derives from Dickless Moby.
The lights that glare are bright and strobey
But heavy still, that dickless Moby.
His shoulders broad, of greatest thickness
Do not relieve his Moby, DIckless.
And with pain his being shall be pricked
Until his Moby becomes Dicked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 02:27 PM

That was funny, Stilly.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 04:56 PM

I:

We was north and east of everything;
We had never been so far;
We were way past using compasses
And we weren't too good at stars.
And the dogs were lean and mettlesome,
And not sure if we was friends
Or how they felt about pressing on
Where the known lands fade to an end.
We were well past civilization
Or anything maps could show,
And the wind was cold and bitter
And it sure knew how to blow.
And the ice in the wind could knock you dead
If you tried to look its way;
So we weren't too sure we'd ever get
To the goal of forty Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 08:05 PM

My Uncle Gene died at 1:00 a.m. today. He'd been sliding downhill since September; I visited him just before Thanksgiving.

A WW2 veteran, he was one of the men who stepped up help my mother with her three sons after my father died when I was five year old. I remember rabbit and squirrel hunting with him, and the vegetable gardens he loved. For the Y2K scare he told me that there would be over 100 jars of canned vegetables in his basement "and I've stocked 120 rolls of toilet paper -- if this thing doesn't happen I'll still be able to use it."

His wife, my Aunt Ruth, has developed seizures of an unknown origin in the last three or four months and is in a nursing home. She hasn't seen Uncle Gene in a month and probably won't be able to attend the funeral -- everyone expects that her own isn't far off.

I'm told that he was talking to my mother, who died in 1981, and his father (1953) last night.

Yesterday a good friend and a fine trumpeter, Greg Sparrow, died. He was a Vietnam veteran and best man at my brother's wedding.

Unfortunately I can't get to either funeral.

Please remember these two -- Uncle Gene was also a singer and played (I'm sorry, but I must tell the truth here) saxophone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 08:26 PM

Sorry to hear of your uncle, Rap, and counting on a good outcome for your better half.


I have only read the last 50 posts to catch up. The most interesting post was Ed T.'s tidbit that clams don't have brains.

Iz zat true????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 08:29 PM

My condolences, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 09:02 PM

On clams: well, yes and no.

Clams are bivalves, which includes snails and oysters, among other things. Bivalves have ganglia, such as the "cerebral ganglia" in snails or the "central ganglia" in clams. In short, bivalves have a sort of nerve pathway and central processing unit -- but it ain't much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 09:00 AM

Come to think of it, I know some people who must be bivalves. Mostly politicians, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 10:35 AM

I'm glad you got to see your uncle over Thanksgiving---and that you could give him that gift from you and your mom. I'm sorry you can't go to the funeral, but it seems you honored him while he was alive.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 12:14 PM

A brief summation of MOAB:

Summation of an infinite sequence of values is not always possible, and when a value can be given for an infinite summation, this involves more than just the addition operation, namely also the notion of a limit. Such infinite summations are known as series. Another notion involving limits of finite sums is integration. The term summation has a special meaning related to extrapolation in the context of divergent series.

The summation of the sequence [1, 2, 4, 2] is an expression whose value, the sum of the sequence, is defined to be that of the repeated addition 1 + 2 + 4 + 2, namely 9. Since addition is associative the value does not depend on how the additions are grouped, for instance (1 + 2) + (4 + 2) and 1 + ((2 + 4) + 2) both have the value 9; therefore, parentheses are usually omitted in repeated additions. Addition is also commutative, so permuting the terms of a finite sequence does not change its sum. (For infinite summations this property may fail; see absolute convergence for conditions under which it still holds.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 12:45 PM

Holy flip.

I feel so sad when I read yer flippin' posts, man. It is pathetick.

Look, any time you need some advice on gettin' a flippin' life and pickin' up girls and importent stuff like that...gimme a call, eh?

I will give you advice for beer. One bottle of beer fer each peace of advice.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 01:42 PM

Mebbe if you understood more than 2 per cent of them you would, like, feel like better, man. Ya think?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 03:06 PM

I think we all owe a vote of thanks to Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 04:39 PM

WOW!!! What a great song!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 05:38 PM

You know, if I were Shame's mom I'd probably take back whatever I contributed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 05:43 PM

Creative li'l bastid, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 05:46 PM

Indeed... a great tribute to Mums everywhere! Thanks A.

As for your summation of the MOAB, bang on, to a ceratin extent, which may either attract attention or seriously not. I kinda think not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 06:41 PM

What a hoot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 07:53 PM

Janie, makes you feel kind of proud, doesn't it?

MOM's mitochondrial DNA has gone in some unusual directions, to be sure. Did she contribute to gluon, and did the freds ever manage to slurp up any of the MOAB clan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 08:43 PM

It does indeed, Stilly. I think the boys ought show us a bit more respect, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 09:14 PM

Hey, I'm handicapped. I have mixed chromosones. Be nice to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 09:30 PM

You got two Y's for your own good, Rapp...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 12:14 AM

ydna testing has traced my paternal family back to a Welch ships carpenter who eventually set up housekeeping in SC in 1735, then proceeded to procreate like a rabbit, and his sons and grandsons followed suit.    I got cuzzins in San Diego, Texas, Toronto, Portland, Little Rock and St. Louis (the family genes had the good sense to avoid Idaho.) The mtDNA is harder to trace. Some of that is the lack of sufficient paper trails for wives (and "not-wives) that makes it difficult to know where to look. Some of it has to do with the differences in the way ydna and mtdna are passed on.

I guess it all comes down to we are all cuzzins, tho' it is right painful to acknowledge I am kin to Shane.


the DNA deposited via the typed word here in this thread, all traceable to MOM, will, no doubt, one day change all the world's thinking about kinship.

Provided, of course, the phreds don't shred it all first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 12:23 AM

In the world of 50 post pages, we are currently working on page 788. Only 222 more pages to go to hit 1000.

Don't applaud, Joe. Just throw money.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 07:29 AM

Shame doesn't share any DNA with anyone else. He's unique in that, but only because both his father and his mother took theirs back when they saw what had been created. Folks at the U. of Blind River's biology dept. stripped out his DNA and found nothing at all.


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