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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 16 Feb 16 - 03:09 PM
gnu 16 Feb 16 - 04:00 PM
Amos 16 Feb 16 - 04:48 PM
Little Hawk 16 Feb 16 - 05:21 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 16 - 05:55 PM
Acme 16 Feb 16 - 09:22 PM
gnu 17 Feb 16 - 06:41 AM
Rapparee 17 Feb 16 - 08:34 PM
GUEST 17 Feb 16 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 18 Feb 16 - 09:28 AM
gnu 18 Feb 16 - 06:11 PM
Rapparee 18 Feb 16 - 09:22 PM
Amos 19 Feb 16 - 02:47 PM
gnu 19 Feb 16 - 05:04 PM
Amos 19 Feb 16 - 06:31 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 16 - 10:05 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 16 - 04:14 PM
Acme 21 Feb 16 - 03:11 PM
gnu 22 Feb 16 - 10:43 AM
Acme 22 Feb 16 - 07:39 PM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 16 - 12:36 AM
Acme 23 Feb 16 - 11:33 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 16 - 02:02 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 24 Feb 16 - 05:21 PM
Acme 24 Feb 16 - 11:44 PM
gnu 25 Feb 16 - 02:50 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 25 Feb 16 - 04:12 PM
Acme 26 Feb 16 - 12:12 AM
Rapparee 27 Feb 16 - 01:46 AM
Acme 27 Feb 16 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 27 Feb 16 - 09:03 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 16 - 02:12 AM
Rapparee 28 Feb 16 - 02:13 AM
gnu 28 Feb 16 - 06:15 AM
Amos 28 Feb 16 - 10:43 AM
Rapparee 28 Feb 16 - 01:50 PM
gnu 28 Feb 16 - 06:19 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 16 - 10:29 PM
Acme 28 Feb 16 - 11:12 PM
gnu 29 Feb 16 - 06:10 PM
Amos 01 Mar 16 - 12:32 AM
Acme 01 Mar 16 - 07:54 AM
Rapparee 01 Mar 16 - 12:01 PM
gnu 01 Mar 16 - 05:20 PM
Amos 01 Mar 16 - 07:01 PM
Amos 01 Mar 16 - 07:03 PM
Amos 01 Mar 16 - 07:05 PM
Amos 01 Mar 16 - 07:06 PM
Acme 01 Mar 16 - 10:42 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 16 - 12:21 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 03:09 PM

Trip her/him into the lava? Let him/her swim with the sharks with a bleeding cut on his/her thumb? How about exploring the Marianas Trench without a submarine? Enjoy the same dining experience as Captain Cook? Learn how an imu works from the inside?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 04:00 PM

"imu"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 04:48 PM

I think he meant muumuu. I have often wondered how they work from the inside.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 05:21 PM

Me too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 05:55 PM

Hawaiian Imu

The Hawaiian imu was the easiest way to cook large quantities of food quickly and efficiently for the Hawaiians. Because their creation was so labor-intensive, imus were only created for special events or ceremonies where it would be worth the time and hard work. An imu is created by first digging a 2- to 4-foot hole in the ground. Porous rocks are heated for a while and subsequently added to the bottom of the pit; next, a layer of banana stumps is added on top of them along with banana leaves. After the vegetation is laid down, the meat, fish, and any other foods are placed on top and covered once again with more vegetation. Wet cocoa sacks are also sometimes added on top to add even more moisture and trap in more heat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 09:22 PM

Makes you wonder how someone came up with that idea in the first place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 06:41 AM

From LEJ's thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 08:34 PM

The painters have come and gone and will return tomorrow. So too will the electrician.

Pat has DCIS surgery on March 29.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 09:27 PM

Enjoy Hawaii. March will come when it comes and she will "survive" again.

gnu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 09:28 AM

She damned well better. She gets the taxes ready for the accountant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 06:11 PM

You are a hopeless romantic type of ahhh... errr... ahhh..... bon voyage!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 09:22 PM

Some of the ceilings have been painted. The brown wall in the dining room has been painted. The laudry room has been painted. The stairway (which was the original starting point for all of this) has been painted. There are lights in the dining room, a Juno Lighting monorail system bent into two lazy "S" curves with eight heads utilizing dimmable GU10 LED lamps sectioned on two dimmers; we can add two more lamps if we wish.

I'm tired. Pat has DCIS surgery on March 29, I have cataract surgery on my left eye on April 26, and at some date after that I need hand surgery (I can't reach a G7 minor without pain). But there is the month in Hawai'i that starts with the flight over on Sunday....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 16 - 02:47 PM

We have all marched ahead in synchronized compliance to the Cosmic Time Mandate, ensuring that we all continue to share the profound belief that an instant's creation of all things is going to persist into the next instant. This is very useful because it allows us to have a fun game in a durable spacetime continuum. That does not, however, make it True. The persistance of things in time is just a very handy fiction (or a hypnotic, compulsive and slavish compliance, depending on your point of view).

In any case by the time this fiction slides into what is drolly referred to as "tomorrow morning" I shall be cruising through the verdant, if chilly, landscapes of Nawth Carolingia, the better to see my friends there with. I will dine this week with stars like Janie and Dani, hoot-mongers from the Piedmont hills, Magnusen the Magnificent, and the wild geeks of the far reaches of Hillsborough, and who knows who else!

I am anticipating the expedition with pent-up delight! Better than surgery on the eye with a sharp stick any day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Feb 16 - 05:04 PM

Bon voyage to Amos and Rap! Have fun! Don't forget to write.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 16 - 06:31 PM

WIth thirty three or thirty four
Our Ks will rise to Fifty Four
And all the Catter's, wild-eyed, say
"By God! They made another K!"
The children of the Mudcat tribe
Will snort and spiel and diatribe,
And rant and moan, and kvetch and roar
When Mother's K hits Fifty Four.
ANd thirty three or thorty four
Is really not that many more
To write and edit, polish, post
And twitterpate Joe Offer's ghost!
And Max, who lives out past the Sun
Will smile and what our lads of done!
So many post, writ one by one,
By Mother's daughters, Mother's sons.
But we--who understand it most
Will know it's just another post,
Another gybe, another rhyme
Writ just one letter at a time.

Winnifred Pettigrew De Longing
Hard Times in the Underwear Department and Other Poems
Snidely, Smirk, and Giggle, pubs.
Hijinks on Edge, 1918


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 16 - 10:05 PM

You whit not what you done have posted
(Be it original or written ghosted),
Shouted in all caps or otherwise screed
With emojis, emoticons, or some other deed
To make your opinions known throughout the world,
But whether you be bald or crew-cut or curled
It matters not, for all that is said
Or thought or done or in other ways spread
Amounts to no more than festering beans
When you have departed the Vale of Tears scene
(Unless you are Spaw).

    --Lil Petticoat, Poems From Ship Crick and No Paddle
      (Paradise, Kentucky: Muhlenberg Press, 1969).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 16 - 04:14 PM

And so, while Socal Amos is hobnobbing in blizzard-stricken North Carolina, I'm off to Hawai'i -- where the weather is what SoCal wish they had.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 16 - 03:11 PM

Texas isn't too bad right now either, though we could use some rain. It's in the mid-70s, overcast, and a bit humid. I sometimes meet friends at DFW airport if they have a long enough layover to take time to exit the terminal and visit out in the public area. In case any of you happen to be passing through this way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 16 - 10:43 AM

12C with rain forecast for Thursday!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Feb 16 - 07:39 PM

MOM is perched at the bottom, though it is more than 12 hours before she would actually pitch headlong into the abyss. We have rescued her, and my lab Zeke has invited her out to the back yard to throw his toy to fetch, and she seems so inclined. She's gonna regret that decision - this guy never quits!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 16 - 12:36 AM

I have just one thing to say.

Zabuba!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Feb 16 - 11:33 PM

Winter came to visit North Texas for a couple of days. Time to pull out the rain coat with a hood because the umbrella will flip inside out in the wind. No wonder Rap decided to exit, stage right, and head for Hawaii.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 16 - 02:02 AM

Tomorrow I'm suppose to "get what Cook got." I'm excited! I think they are going to welcome me as a god.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 24 Feb 16 - 05:21 PM

You are makin' a tragic mistake, Rap. My advice is, don't go at all. Sure, they will think you are a god at first. For a little while. But they will start gettin' suspicious after a few days, when they see that all you are good for is layin' around in the sun, tellin' tall tales, eatin' them outta house and home, and boastin' about yer prowess with women and mortal combat. They will begin to realize that they are dealin' with an empty shirt, a windbag with delusions of grandeur, a bloviatin' waste of space.

It is then that they will test yer supposed godhood! Probably by stickin' a pin into you when you ain't lookin' and seein' if you yelp with pain or slicin' an ear off to see if you can heal it. The moment they realize that you bleed like any other man, the show will be over! An angry mob of the locals will swarm around and put an end to you in a hideous manner. Kinda like this:


What happens to false 'gods' in Hawaii...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 16 - 11:44 PM

Maybe Rap can make himself useful and help catch all of the little coqui frogs or any number of other invasive pests.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 02:50 PM

Thirteen C! And pissin down like a kicked over bucket. The Maple Slurpup guys must be shittin their drawers on accounta sap will run long before usual.

BTW... fuck Malwarebytes Anti-Malware + Anti-Exploit. I used the disk I bought. I entered the IDs and Keys as prompted and Anti-Exploit did not install. Now the fucker is telling me I have an invalid ID and Key. Just try to get help from Malwarebytes. What a fuckin runaround! In the end... "We haven't submitted your email question to the forum yet... here try these fucking useless fixes first." (I am paraphrasing.). Email sent. I'll see.

When it rains, it rains. Unfortunately, Mum is now scared of rain. Well, since Peter Coade said on the radio this AM that we might have thundershowers. None on the lightning detection sight. I hate Pete with a passion. I'd go on but you've all heard it before.

Breaded baked chicken legs in the oven are smelling great. I am sorry, Mom, for rambling about SFA that doesn't have anything to do with you but, then again, monkeys don't excite me so...?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 04:12 PM

Well, ya know what they say...into every life a little rain must fall! Ook! Ook!

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 16 - 12:12 AM

Chongo, is there something you forgot to mention?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 16 - 01:46 AM

I come to visit and Mom has fallen off the page!!! What anyone do were it not for me?

Chongx keeps many secrets. When I get to a better location I will post some interesting pictures of pre-surgery Chonga and her "clients."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Feb 16 - 11:27 AM

Did Amos get scoured off the face of the earth by the bad weather?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 16 - 09:03 PM

Amos.is a mythical creature which turns guitars to stone and then eats them. That is why he is a friend of Mick Jagger. They both look the same age, which is about 107.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 02:12 AM

I have acute and am now on various drugs for it. Helluva thing to get on a vacation of Hawai'i!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 02:13 AM

I have acute bronchitis and am taking various things for it. Helluva note for a vacation to Hawai'i.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 06:15 AM

Good thing the have a Club Meds there. Must be a franchise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 10:43 AM

I am back in the benevolent clime of California after a whirlwind visit to all kinds of beauty and benevolence and harmony and creativity and one hormongous deluge with proximate tornado in the rolling and sometimes green hills of North Carolina. I recorded a radio show and got to do some mighty fun picking with friends, wander around Raleigh, Chapel Hill, Durham and Saxapahaw, where the mighty Haw river runs down, and eat pulled-pork Southern-style BBQ and drink craft beers and eat scramled eggs deluxe and the amazing Radius Burger. Inter alia.

I do NOT recommend flying East on red-eye flights, flying economy if you can possibly afford not to, but by and large it all went off like clockwork. Nice to be home!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 01:50 PM

Sorry for repeating myself. Blame hotel wifi.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 06:19 PM

Give us yer Lupins!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 10:29 PM

Don't be tellin' me what to do,ya hear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 11:12 PM

In the interest of not wasting several minutes waiting for it to process, that redundant post will have to stay. It does skew the numbers a bit, but what the heck. Nine more till 54 (thousand, that is).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Feb 16 - 06:10 PM

"In like a lamb... " We are fucked. 14C and sunny today. Pray for us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 12:32 AM

Eight to show,
Seven to go,
Only Mom
Ca really know.
Not Gnu or Hawk
Or even me
Not even bloated
Rapparree
When the next K
Post will show
Only Mom
Can really know...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 07:54 AM

Amos, I bet if you recycle something from the low 20,000's no one would know they're seeing the same poem again. (Or maybe you're already doing that?)

Six to go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 12:01 PM

Here I sit in sunny Hawai'i
Going from K2 off to Maui
In the to stomach of a silver bird
There squeezed out like a fresh cheese curd
Off I am to Kahului
To visit the lovely 'Iao Valley
Where the King Kamehameha
Fought a mighty mighty battle
Dammed the river with his enemies' bodies
As the people said, "Oh, damn!"

      --'Amo Sesu'p (trans.), "The Travel Song of Rappa Ree Which Has Great Meter And Rhyme In 8th Century Polynesian, Where It Is Known As 'Oa 'Oa Nuanuahumuhumu a'a Mauna Loa a'a Pau Hanna" (Dingleberry, Connecticut: Cider Press, 1874, rep. every year since).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 05:20 PM

"In the to stomach of a silver bird
There squeezed out like a fresh cheese curd"

Ewwwwwwww.... why?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 07:01 PM

Oh, do not question Rapparree
Or doubt the truth of what he sees
Although his truths all seem elective
And seeing them a bit subjective,
You will not bring him to the light
By questioning all day and night.
Because, quite simply, his delight
Is not in Truth, but Being Right!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 07:03 PM

ALl but three have made their way
Toward the Fifty-Four of Kay
And as the day draws slowly down,
And streetlights glimmer in the town,
The Mudcat waits, with breath abated
To see its thirst for glory sated.
Harroo, harrah! Callooo, callay!
Here comes the Fifty Four of K!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 07:05 PM

The panting grows in deep intensity
Orgasmic hope now rises high!
Despite their massive mental density
The Catter4s all take up the cry!
Onward, oh onward! Rise high! Make way!

Here comes the Fifty Four of K!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 07:06 PM

And this is it! The Kay Has Come!
Go sound the trumpet and the drum!
Bring out the booze! Make dresses sway
And dance the livelong night away
For Mom has made Five Four of Kay!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 10:42 PM

That's quite an accomplishment, Amos. 54,000. It doesn't spin or anything, but it's still pretty darned good. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 12:21 AM

Pish and balderdash and tush!
Amos could not do it alone!
Without his betters and his peers
He would be but a useless drone
Buzzing lonely 'round the bush
Hitting up others for his beers
Playing, on a cranked guitar,
"Pop goes the mulberry bush"
Or "All around the weasel."

   --Dyedland T. O'Mas, A Kid's Bris in Wales (New North Wales: Wails Press, 1767).


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