Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 01 Jun 16 - 05:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jun 16 - 08:18 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 16 - 09:27 PM
gnu 01 Jun 16 - 09:33 PM
Amos 02 Jun 16 - 02:10 AM
Amos 03 Jun 16 - 02:16 AM
Rapparee 03 Jun 16 - 09:44 PM
Amos 04 Jun 16 - 02:37 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jun 16 - 05:21 AM
gnu 04 Jun 16 - 01:52 PM
gnu 05 Jun 16 - 12:28 PM
Acme 05 Jun 16 - 03:15 PM
Rapparee 05 Jun 16 - 10:31 PM
Amos 06 Jun 16 - 12:44 AM
gnu 06 Jun 16 - 08:37 AM
Rapparee 06 Jun 16 - 09:43 AM
Little Hawk 06 Jun 16 - 05:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jun 16 - 06:35 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 16 - 10:20 PM
gnu 06 Jun 16 - 11:05 PM
Amos 07 Jun 16 - 02:46 AM
Donuel 07 Jun 16 - 09:54 AM
Rapparee 07 Jun 16 - 10:31 AM
Donuel 07 Jun 16 - 12:46 PM
gnu 07 Jun 16 - 01:02 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 16 - 01:04 PM
Little Hawk 07 Jun 16 - 01:44 PM
Little Hawk 07 Jun 16 - 01:50 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 16 - 07:02 PM
Little Hawk 07 Jun 16 - 10:11 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 16 - 10:43 PM
Acme 08 Jun 16 - 07:13 AM
Rapparee 08 Jun 16 - 12:03 PM
Amos 08 Jun 16 - 01:57 PM
Little Hawk 08 Jun 16 - 04:08 PM
Rapparee 08 Jun 16 - 10:46 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 16 - 12:33 AM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 16 - 03:03 AM
Rapparee 09 Jun 16 - 09:57 AM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 16 - 07:35 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 16 - 10:20 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 16 - 12:21 AM
Little Hawk 10 Jun 16 - 11:45 AM
Rapparee 10 Jun 16 - 11:51 AM
Little Hawk 10 Jun 16 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 16 - 10:35 PM
Little Hawk 11 Jun 16 - 12:21 AM
Rapparee 11 Jun 16 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 11 Jun 16 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 11 Jun 16 - 10:02 AM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jun 16 - 05:33 PM

I have been busier than a lint picker in a blue serge suit factory. First boiled ham dinner of the season. Fresh green beans, carrots and cabbage and last year spuds with a smoked pork picnic shoulder roast. Then, I was busy with a nap. I didn't decide to have a nap. The nap decided to have me. Then I put the potted flowers in the garage on accounta this is NB... AC on all yesterday with the windows closed but hoody on today with the windows open. Might have frost tonight. Mowed both front lawns to wake up. I try to mow them twice a week this time of year after the dandelions have gone to seed. That's half as many times as George mows his golf greens. I may even whipper the snipper tonight.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jun 16 - 08:18 PM

Everyone whippers the snipper, but most of us don't talk about it in mixed company.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 16 - 09:27 PM

How can I describe the beauty which surrounds me here? Unparalleled? Ne plus ultra? Wonder full? Yesterday I captured, on digital, a moose, two pronghorns, two bald eagles, and a grizzly bear (Number 610) with her cubs.

No, I did not get close to any of them for I would fain deny Mom her fave. I was at least 100 meters from them, but through the miracle of telephoto I was able to get some damned good pictures.

Did you know that if you have a Wyoming hunting license and your name is drawn you can be sworn in as a "special ranger" and hunt elk in GTNP? It's the only NP were hunting is allowed, and it's because of Yellowstone being the northern park border. Something about 20,000 wapiti being too many for the available food in both parks, between which the elk seasonally wander. How about if we all put in for a GTNP hunting license and have a big MOAB camp out and sing in?

What happens with Chongx will have to wait until I arrive safely home.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jun 16 - 09:33 PM

I whipered the snipper. I put in 25' of new snipper in the reel and fired er up. All 20ccs of fossil fuel driven FURY! I loikes POWER. I loikes ta HEAR power. Knows she's getting tha job done, eh? Now, fer the most part, I just lets me 20ccs idle eh? Idle. She's good fer yer weeds against yer basement foundation eh? Fer the odd dandy what grows up through the pave too. But, old man, when I gets er gowan under the back fence where she's thick, I depresses tha thro'tle full ta tha board and she wakes the dandelions what I cut last summer!

My son, my son. That there riggin will take 30 years of old paint stolen from the CNR (so's ya knows she tough paint roight?) clean off the basement wall eh! Dandelions don't stand a chance after they've gone ta seed even at idle speed. She's the clear rig that. Plus, like I said, weighs less than George's riggin and it makes far more noise. More noise - more power. That's the way it is. Better than yer lectric rig and far better than clippin em by hand. What's the fun in clippin em by hand? WHERE IS THE NOISE AND THE SMELL OF GASOLINE??


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jun 16 - 02:10 AM

Count on the Gnuzeer to get 'er said.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 16 - 02:16 AM

I think we need to snip a few of the whippers around here. These like periods of moribund lassitude are discomfiting. Do you think Mom is going through The Change I have heard about?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 16 - 09:44 PM

I think it's because I don't have regular Web access. Of course, we mustn't discount the possibility that Amos has nothing of any consequence to say.

And you might find it useful to get used to it, at least through June and into the first week or so of July. We will again be traveling, beginning around the 20th of June, to Glacier NP, Waterton, Whitefish, Helena, and such-like places.

Tomorrow evening, if all goes well, we shall be on a four hours wildlife viewing excursion in the Lamar Valley of Yellowstone NP.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 16 - 02:37 AM

Wildlife viewing! How very special!

What;s real, dude?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jun 16 - 05:21 AM

A wildlife viewing excursion should properly be followed by a wildlife eating excursion. Nothing makes you appreciate the taste of a bison burger quite like having seen that sucker on the hoof a few hours earlier.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jun 16 - 01:52 PM

I saw a squirrel in my maple tree today so I'm good.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jun 16 - 12:28 PM

Abstract - This study investigates thawing a frozen whole chicken in a heavy plastic bag secured with a metal cinch by placing the chicken in a pot of cold water, covering the pot with a tight fitting lid, and placing the pot in a refrigerator in which the temperature is maintained at 4C. The chicken was three quarters submersed in the water.

Day One - The covered pot containing cold water and a frozen whole chicken in a heavy plastic bag secured with a metal cinch was placed in a refrigerator (fridge) in which the temperature is maintained at 4C at 11:00h. The fridge door was opened briefly twenty times during the remainder of Day 1.

Day Two - The fridge door was opened briefly twice before the chicken was inspected at 11:45h. The submerged three quarters of the chicken was covered with ice of thickness ranging from one quarter inch on the lowest submersed portion to three quarter inch at the water surface. The unsubmerged portion of the chicken was covered with a three eighths thick frost. The ice was removed from the chicken and the experiment was aborted.

Conclusions - Dumb fucking idea.

Recommendations - Thaw poultry on a suitable open platter.

Remarks - See Conclusions above.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jun 16 - 03:15 PM

I fill a stock pot with cold water and submerge the wrapped chicken in the pot for a few hours. Doing that in the fridge seems like it would take forever. (This is supposed to be preferable to simply placing the wrapped frozen chicken on a platter in the sink and letting it stay there for a few hours. Parts of it can warm up too much and spoil before the entire thing is thawed.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 16 - 10:31 PM

I am home. I have shot (with a camera) a black bear sow with cubs, a black bear boar (elsewhere on the same trip), a moose, a grizzly with cubs. I have seen wolves, elk, bison (ho-hum, another buffalo), mule deer, and a whole bunch of other stuff.

I am home. Stand by for another episode (thrilling, of course) in the Ongoing Romance of Penelope and Chongx.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 16 - 12:44 AM

A shudder, perhaps of relief, passes through the assembled multitude. At last, relief! An end to the desperation, the lack of skullduggery, the starvation of the human need to be fooled, misled, taken advantage of! At last, our Wool-Puller has returned! Oh, Amen, and Thank You Jezus!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jun 16 - 08:37 AM

I thaw poultry in the fridge on the lowest shelf. Health Canada also recommends using water in a pot for a fast thaw but says the water should be changed every half hour. Or, under running water... not environmentally friendly, is it?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 16 - 09:43 AM

Back at the Omni, Penelope gazed at her trim, long-legged figure in the mirror. She ran her hands down her hips and thought, "God, but he's hairy! Still, there's something. No, no! Yet...."

She glanced at her Rolex Datejus -- it would be late morning in England, and she telephoned her solicitor and made arrangements for half a million to be added to her line of credit.

"Too hairy," she thought, as she fell asleep.

(To be continued)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jun 16 - 05:16 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! I love it...

The fact is, Chongo does have some characteristics Penelope admires. He's an ape of action. He's ruthless...yet chivalrous. He's honest and direct, and he doesn't mince words.

But...he's an ape. And one without noble blood in his ancestry.

Hmm.

Bit of a conundrum, eh, what? Still, he's definitely a better catch than Winston...or, for that matter, than any of the upper class twits whom Penelope usually meets in her social circle.

But what would Chongo's gal Friday and campaign manager, Renata Carson, say? (She's known to be viciously jealous of any woman who tries to get near Chongo. She warned him not to contact Sarah Palin again under ANY circumstances!) For that matter, what would all of Twillingsgate say? Not to mention the hoi polloi in London! It doesn't bear thinking about. If that unscrupulous madman Hector Ballsworthy should get even the slightest idea of such a possibility, he'd have it plastered all over the front pages of his scandal sheet in a flash.

Meanwhile, her niece Veronica has been carrying on in the usual outrageous manner, having taken up with bad boy billionaire's son and notorious wastrel Basingstoke "Baz" Bilgeroar, in the press lately for fronting the entirely offensive post-punk British techno band FeckMuther...and that, fortunately, has keep Ballsworthy quite well occupied and distracted.

There's always a silver lining if one looks hard enough.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jun 16 - 06:35 PM

Hi, Mom! I don't really have anything to say, but it's getting so difficult to get on the Mudcat in general and the MOAB in particular that I thought I'd better not waste the opportunity.

So, I would like to take this opportunity to say nothing.

"Nothing."

There, I've said it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 16 - 10:20 PM

"God," thought Penelope when she awoke. "I've dreamt about that ape!" And she thought again how utterly delicious the dream had been and shuddered slightly.

The phone rang and Penelope answered it. "Bitch," the woman's voice said, "stay away from Chongx. He's my ape, see? If you don't, sure as my name's Renata I'll cut you so bad you'll fall apart when you nod. Capice?" And the caller hung up.

Penelope always liked a challenge, and one today, in 2018, was no different from the one she faced back in 2016 when she'd finally arranged for the "accident" with the Holland and Holland .600 Nitro Express in the Gun Room. Winston had turned out to be a bit of a rotter and her grandfather had always said that the answer was the H&H.

But she had to get Veronica back to England! The little ninny had come to Chicago and had somehow ended up in the "stable" of someone named "Slim Thing." Imagine! Veronica working in a stable! Mucking out after the horses, grooming them if she was lucky!

Penelope grabbed the telephone directory and quickly looked up "Stables." There were several listed, none associated with the name "Slim Thing." Well, it had been a slim chance at that.

The phone rang again. It was Chongx.

(To be continued)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jun 16 - 11:05 PM

I wrote a verbose post about my angst re **** and shit but I deleted it. I think I am on the road to discovery... just ignore it and it goes away is my (hopefully new) mantra.

One learns, perhaps?, as time draws nigh? There is not much time left.

Yes, that is taking, perhaps?, punctuation licence.

Perhaps? me arse! I am breaking wind. In whatever direction it applies. Either you get it or don't.

It's cold and damp. I shall sleep well... snuggled in blankets. gnightgnu.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 16 - 02:46 AM

Fantasy runs amok! The unreal invades the pastoral pastures of reality, splintering the delicate threads of agreed-upon normality with ravenous, bleeding talons and beaks, throwing the gentle order of civilization brutally towards the maw of chaos, red in tooth and claw! The denizens of Reality are heartsick. They have always relied on their quiet mantra: "Well, dear, but _____ (Chongo, UFOs, NWO, contrails, etc.) aren't REAL!". But now, the lawless proponents of Postulated Rality have taken up arms and thrust their unwanted attentions into the delicate crevices of normal Reality, leaving her gasping and senseless on the barren verge! Ah, woe, woe to civilization! Woe to Normality! Woe to all that is real!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Jun 16 - 09:54 AM

con trails are real. as for chem trails, Edward Teller officially proposed the idea to the US gov. 26 years ago to modify local temperatures. Searchable FOIA.
Broaching far out ideas today is getting relatively harder, but there is fun in the esoteric without being married or devoted to any of them.
One of the funniest shows Rupert Murdoch has on cable is Ancient Aliens. The self proclaimed experts and authorities make me laugh out loud.


from the ministry of mudact propaganda...
I turned my good ear to the wind and heard 3 little words whispered that might turn hurricane Donald from shore. The 7 words one silently recalls after reading "Assume Trump President" is the real intent.

Forcing silent words to come from within like 'makes an ass of you and me' internalizes meaning like personal opinion. This is great propaganda compared to the trite stuff Hillary uses.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 16 - 10:31 AM

"I got yer little bimbo," said Chongx.

"Who's Renata?" asked Penelope.

"I'll meet in the Loop, near Marshall Field's, around three" replied Chongx. "I'll have yer skirt with me. You bring the rest of the money and we'll make the switch."

"Who's Renata?" Penelope asked again, but Chongx had rung off.

Three. Morning or afternoon? Penelope wondered. And did that chimpanzee really have Veronica? Most stables weren't open to the public until eight or nine ack emma, she mused. I certainly hope that no laws were broken!

And she began her toilette.

(More to come)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Jun 16 - 12:46 PM

54545 is coming up. Rap will not miss this one.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jun 16 - 01:02 PM

Ooooo... intrigue replete with disguises and dangerous rendezvouses. Popcorn time. Extra butter, please.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 16 - 01:04 PM

The phone rang again. Penelope, half dressed, answered.

"Yes?"

"Madame, this is Hector Ballsworthy. I understand that your neice Veronica has been doing some riding at a stable in the United States. You might like to know that my research finds that Mr. Slim Thing is a lizar...." Penelope had heard enough; she slammed the phone down.

Finishing her dressing (it was a shame her dresser couldn't come along, she thought) she checked the contents of her handbag. Small as it was it contained the necessaries: lipstick, aspirin, a hankie, a small can of bear spray strength pepper spray, and the small 7.65 Beretta "Tomcat". She didn't like guns, but Grandfather had taught her to shoot and she was actually quite good.

Of course, it was loaded with "Defender" rounds that shattered and did tissue damage equivalent to a .45 ACP. Whatever that was, she mused. She checked, and there was indeed one "up the spout" as Grandfather used to say. Cock the hammer and she had seven rounds.

Carefully she pinned on her hat and left to meet The Ape (as she now thought of Chongx).

(Stay tuned!)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jun 16 - 01:44 PM

HA! HA! HA!

This is pretty good. Okay, I gotta fill you in on Renata so you don't screw things up. Renata is a well educated and sharp dressing middle class white woman from Chicago, a lawyer, dark-haired and good looking, in her early 30's, has been serving as Chongo's campaign manager and legal advisor for the APP (American Primate Party), and is rumored to be his main squeeze...actually, his only squeeze, because as I said, she's very jealous. Picture a considerably tougher version of Mary Tyler Moore in her heyday, and that's Renata. She's just as tough and smart and exacting as Penelope, but she's a middle class American professional, as opposed to an upper class British heiress. Either one of them is not to be trifled with (which explains why Chongo likes both of them...he admires strong women).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jun 16 - 01:50 PM

And so do I. I'd happily go out with either Penelope or Renata, were I living in some alternate Universe where it was feasible to do so....

(And don't kill off any of my main characters, por favor. They must live on in future episodes, just like Sherlock Holmes.)

Veronica Rutledge, of course, has the morals of an alley cat...as well as way too much money and leisure time...but you already knew that. Andy Warhol would have had her in his entourage immediately.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 16 - 07:02 PM

Oh,I wouldn't think killing anyone off! That would be an awful thing to do and I'd probably go to H**k if I did that! Oh, no! Not me!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jun 16 - 10:11 PM

Now, a little useful information about Hector Ballsworthy. He is a British scandal sheet journalist of the most ruthless sort. He looks a good deal like Geraldo Rivera, mustache and glasses. He delights in hunting out salacious gossip about rich people and politicians, and delights even more in fearmongering accomplished through outrageous conspiracy theories and other hot topics like that. Whether he believes even half of what he writes is questionable, but his enthusiasm for publishing it is unquenchable. He is pretty well certain that most of the peerage, nobility, royals, and politicians have been taken over by reptilian bloodlines, that they drink human blood in secret rituals, and that they run the financial system. Given the nature OF the modern financial system, it's not really surprising that he would think this....

He has long felt that Penelope Rutledge is a pure-blooded human, but that she has been lured into the reach of the Reptilians by various cold-blooded types like Winston Wellington-Jones, Prince Philip, Tony Blair, etc.

Penelope thinks he is a raving lunatic who should be arrested and imprisoned for a very long time.

Ballsworthy has blogs on the Internet, a weekly public affairs show on TV, and a newspaper...The British Presse Independente (given quasi-French spelling to distinguish it from the Independent.

He claims to be a descendant of Robin Hood and Maid Marianne.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 16 - 10:43 PM

Her high heels rapped a tattoo as she hurried along. No cabs available, and how very, very American, she thought.

Soon, Marshall Fields came into sight and she slowed, wondering where she would meet the ape and the girl. Walking quizzically along -- if one can walk that way -- Penelope was nearly knocked off her feet by a young woman hurrying past.

She felt pull at her jacket (Sarah Burton designed, of course) and realized, as she regained her balance, that it had been cut. The right side was hanging by a (what else?) a thread. And the young woman had vanished.

Then a voice said, "Over here" and Penelope tossed the ruined clothing in a trash can and walked across the street.

In the shadow of a deeply recessed doorway was the ape. He asked, "You got the other five grand? Cuz I got your little chickadee." His voice seemed to break on the last word, but he cleared his throat and continued.

"Slim don't like me. Never did, but now he hates my guts and everything else about me. He don't like gumshoes like me taking working girls from his stable. But the snatch was pretty easy, with me being a chimp and all," and he barked a short laugh.

A woman's voice said, "Laugh it up, Chong'. You put a paw on this limey and I'll drill you so full of holes there won't be any place to stick the needle for your embalming fluid!"

The chimp say, "Now, Renata, this is a job. Just another job. You know you're my main squeeze, baby."

"Just keep that in mind," said the voice.

The chimp turned to Penelope and said, "So, you got the moolah?"

Penelope said, "Where is Veronica?"

"In good hands and in good time," replied Chongx. Again, Penelope thought she detected a slight break in his voice but then decided it was her imagination. She wondered if chimpanzees could catch a cold.

"Let's go up to the tea room in that store -- Marshall Fields? -- for I hear they can do tea correctly. We can discuss matters over tea and scones, or whatever you people call scones." And for some reason she was suddenly happy that she had the Beretta with her.

(Tune in again for the next exciting episode!)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jun 16 - 07:13 AM

Gotta come back and read all of this (AND the backstory, as revealed by the creator!)

Morning, MOM. I'm getting up earlier these days, and checking on you before I leave the house.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 16 - 12:03 PM

Well, I have a massage appointment in an hour and I must still shower, shave, dress, and get the mail.

Ah, the frenetic life we lead in Pocatello!

And tonight I must catalog my new books! However shall I get my nap in???


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 16 - 01:57 PM

I hope Penelope gets laid somewhere in all this foofara. It would be good for her, I think.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jun 16 - 04:08 PM

It's that kind of romantic tension that keeps people interested in a story, Amos....but the key is to never quite open Pandora's box (so to speak) in order to maintain the tension. Remember when they broke that rule on the show "Cheers"? Big mistake.

I have always suspected that Penelope may have a pretty lively sex life going on behind the scenes, but............my lips are sealed. Besides, "gentlemen don't talk".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 16 - 10:46 PM

They were shown to a table, albeit in the back of the walnut-paneled tearoom, by a maitre d' who was obviously impressed by Penelope and disgusted with her companion. After ordering the tea and savories, Penelope again asked, "Where is Veronica?"

"She's fine, but you know I can't turn her over until the green crosses my palm," Chongx said.

Grimacing at such greed, she dug into her purse and placed five thousand dollars in the hand of the ape.

A flash of light and a laugh and an all-too-familiar voice cried "I have photographic proof of the decline of the Rutledge family!"

Penelope turned and saw Hector Ballsworthy, camera in hand, smirking at the next table. She said, ice in her voice, "Give me that camera, Ballsworthy. Now!!

"Oh, no, dear lady," said Ballsworthy. "You see, I now have proof...." The bullet from the little Beretta made a third eye socket between his two eyes and, looking utterly surprised by the turn of events, Hector Ballsworthy slumped to the floor, the back of his head missing.

"That tears it!" exclaimed Chongx, and clutching the money in a tight fist made for the exit just three steps behind Penelope.

Fortunately for them, the events had so shocked those in the tearoom that there was no alarm, no immediate pursuit. And, fortunately for Penelope, she had had the presence of mind to place the gun back in her handbag and snatch the camera from Ballsworthy's not-quite-dead-yet hands.

At the ground floor, as if by mutual consent, they slowed their pace to that of casual shoppers and gradually made their way outside.

When they were far enough away, Chongx said admiringly, "You're pretty handy with that rod. You ain't no hoity-toity chickadee, are you?"

"I am Penelope Rutledge, of a very old line of English aristocrats," she replied. "But do not for a moment think that that prevents us from being schooled in the use of weapons." Her voice was frosty, now that reaction was setting in. "When can I obtain my neice?"

"Okay, okay! I'll call you and tell you were and when. It'll be tomorrow. I gotta make some arrang...you okay?" Chongx asked as Penelope slid down the wall of a building beside the alley through which they were walking.

From her position sitting on the ground, Penelope blinked into the big brown eyes gazing at her. "Sorry. I was all taken about for a moment. You see, no matter how much I wanted to, I've never actually killed anyone before."

"You'll git used to it," Chongx assured her. "I take it that guy needed killing?"

"Very much so, and I'm quite glad I did it," replied Penelope. "A blight has been removed from the Earth."

"And you even thought to ditch the rod and snatch the camera! You're a smart skirt, you know that?"

Penelope pulled herself up with the help of a large, strong, simian hand. "Do you think you might summon a taxi for me?" she asked.

"Sure. Consider it done."

(More to come!!!!)

Ch


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 16 - 12:33 AM

You TWAT!!! You insufferable, pointy-headed, halfwit! You can't kill off Hector Ballsworthy! Don't you realize I've spent years developing that character? Don't you realize that legions of stupid, easily misled and poorly educated Britons depend upon his scandal sheet to keep them distracted and get their minds off their declining marriages, their financial problems, their awful jobs, their bloody government, their wretched cuisine, etc?

It couldn't have been Ballsworthy. Must have been one of his underlings. Perhaps it was Squidgeon or Styles.

At any rate, I shall require a revision.

Furthermore, you are depicting Chongo in an unfair manner. He's a distinguished presidential candidate, you know. He has a lot of respect in Chicago.

I think about 500 Hail Mary's are in order for you, my good man, and a week in penance, wearing a hair shirt and administering daily scourgings with a metal tipped Cat O' Nine Tails. Opus Dei is going to hear about THIS!

Nice decisive action on Penelope's part, though...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 16 - 03:03 AM

Actually, what I'm thinking here is that Chongo would have grabbed the camera, opened it up to expose the film, and then smashed it for good measure. I have a feeling he wouldn't like Mr Ballsworthy one bit. He would then have directed Ballsworthy to the door, possibly by picking him up by the scruff of the neck and pitching him through the nearest window.

You're quite right that Ballsworthy "needs killing". However, he is so much fun to have around for story purposes that killing him is kind of like killing Snidely Whiplash in only the 2nd or 3rd cartoon, if you know what I mean. A waste of good potential. There's nothing handier than a dependable villain who keeps coming back for more.

But, gosh, the very IDEA that Chongo Chimp would ransom off a young woman to her family to get a quick $5,000 dollars? Shocking! It's libelous. I expect you'll hear from the APP about this soon enough.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 16 - 09:57 AM

She felt like she did that morning after the party at University. The one where she had...well, that didn't bear thinking about.

Breakfast arrived and the headline of the "Chicago Tribune" screamed "Reporter Shot In MF Tearoom!"

She found herself calm as she opened the plate of rashers, black pudding, tomatoes, and eggs. She poured herself a cup of the excellent coffee and continued to read while she ate.

"Hector Ballsworthy, British journalist...by an upper class woman with a pet monkey...fingerprints and DNA analysis...police searching everywhere...anyone with information...Tearoom Manager very upset." The usual. Apparently she wasn't suspected, and Chongx would be angry by being referred to as a "pet monkey." She was also quite glad that ladies still wore gloves during an outing.

Finishing, she took the Beretta from her purse, flipped up the barrel and decided it needed cleaning. Pulling the magazine, she stripped the little gun as grandfather had taught her and using cotton swabs, tissues, the very hot hotel water and whatever else was handy did a thorough cleaning. Putting a drop of oil (intended for her personal shaver) here and there she worked the action and wiped off any excess. She pulled the trigger on the empty action, inserted the reloaded magazine, tipped up the barrel and placed one up the spout. The pistol when back in the handbag and the handbag back in the closet.

There was a knock. She threw on a robe and opened the door.

Two men in fedoras and trench coats. One pulled a leather folder from his pocket, snapped it open, and said authoritatively, "Chicago police. Detective Lieutenant Oliver. This is Detective Sergeant Friday. We hate to disturb you, but there has been a murder and we must ask you some questions."

She thought, "Chongx would say, 'Eat lead, flatfoot! I ain't feedin' you nothin'!'" Instead she quietly asked them to come in and offered to ring for coffee. They accepted and took seats in the sitting room. She was glad she'd shut the door to the bedroom, as it was untidy.

"You're Penelope Rutledge, a citizen of the United Kingdom, who arrived in town three days ago." It was a statement and she remained quiet. "Did you know a Hector Ballsworthy?"

"Yes, officer, I did. Or do. Has something happened?"

"He was gunned down in Marshall Field's Tearoom by a woman with a pet monkey late yesterday afternoon. It's in the papers."

"I'm sorry, but I haven't yet read the paper." It was true; several sections lay unread. "I didn't think very highly of Mr. Ballsworthy, as you may know."

The big cop smiled and said, "You hated his guts, didn't you?"

She smiled her most charming smile and responded, "I disliked all of him, but I wouldn't wish him dead in a tearoom." I'd rather with a stake through his black heart, at a crossroads, she thought, and it's simply too bad we did away with drawing and quartering.

The cop laughed and the other chortled. "Ms Rutledge, you were seen on the surveillance camera in Marshall Field at the time of the murder, in the company of a rather short companion. Would you care to comment?"

"Oh dear! THAT'S what that flutter was all about! Yes, I was shopping (and didn't find a thing) on the ground floor. There was a short person near me and I was afraid it was a purse snatcher or worse. That person fled when the 'ruckus' started and I very soon after. Can you believe that there wasn't a single Dior original anywhere in that store?" She played the surprised shopper to the hilt.

"I believe things like that are special order, Ms Rutledge," said Detective Friday.

"Oh! How gauche!"

"Ms Rutledge," asked Detective Oliver, "do you own a gun?"

"Why, yes. We have a number back home. Let's see: there's a Holland and Holland 700 nitro express double rifle (and a good one it is, she thought, ridding me of that cad Winston), a set of twelve bore Fabri shotguns, my father's Webley from the war, a Martini Henry a great-uncle carried in Zulu unpleasantness, my own 28 bore Purdey of course...."

"No, I meant here," he interrupted.

"Here?" she asked. "However would I get such a thing on the airplane? I certainly wouldn't put it in checked baggage! Besides, I wouldn't think I'd need a firearm in the United States. Am I wrong?"

"Oh, no!" said Oliver, standing. "Please let us know before you must leave town; we may need to contact you in the future with other questions." He and Friday moved to the door. "Thank you for the coffee; it was far better than we're used to." Oliver smiled and they left.

She locked the door and unsteadily moved to a chair and sat. She noticed a paper on the floor and picked it up. It was torn from a notebook and on it was scrawled "Balls: DNA rept.: reptil."

And she broke into a long, cathartic laugh.

(Stand by, folks!)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 16 - 07:35 PM

Ha! Ha!

Well, you must be having a wonderful time, Rap, writing all this firearm porn that you love so much. You're hired to fill in all the scenes which require detailed descriptions of handguns, rifles, semi-automatics, machine guns, etc...their use, their origins, their special features, ammo types, maintenance, hitting power...you've got it all covered.

Too bad Shane can't be dragged into this somehow, but he's way up there in Blind River on the wrong side of the border, so I guess not.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 16 - 10:20 PM

And, "Aha!" Ballsworthy is (was?) a Reptilian? How deliciously ironic! It would explain his rapacious, ruthless, utterly amoral nature, wouldn't it? Reptiles live only to hunt, have sex, devour prey, and defend territory. Sounds like Mr Ballsworthy to me. And it also sounds like Winston.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 16 - 12:21 AM

They're both dead then (remember that this happens in 2018), maybe. As for Shame, just wait. In fact, hold your britches on, 'cause it ain't over until the fat lady sings.

As for "gun porn" -- I happen to know about firearms. I've been familiar with them for damned near sixty years now, man and boy, in the military and out. You want I should forget? By the way, the Beretta Tomcat, Model 3032, is still made, it fires a 7.65 x 17 Browing Short cartridge (.32 ACP in the US of A), and is actually fairly popular with off-duty police officers. See here. Not at all in the same league as Chongx's .45ACP Thompson submachine gun, however. Still, at close range -- and the .32ACP was the cartridge of choice for many European armies and police forces for a very long time. However, knowing about something doesn't mean I have one or even would have one if it was offered to me (although, if they threw in some cash to make me take it...). Hmmm...gun porn...maybe I can work some in....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 16 - 11:45 AM

That looks like the perfect gun for a lady to carry concealed in her purse, Rap. Good choice.

You might also consider getting Corridus the Hamster into the story somehow. Just a cameo appearance.

There may be some other past characters that I've forgotten too...God knows, there were quite a few of them. Wilfred Pennifere hasn't been seen in some time. Nor have Eddie and Olive Whatnoll, but they live in 'Ull, and getting someone as large as Eddie Whatnoll across the Atlantic sounds like a dubious project to me. Perhaps it could have been done when the Great Eastern was still taking passengers across to America, but now?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 16 - 11:51 AM

Chongx awoke and waddled to the window. Glancing out from the side he he saw a man in a fedora and trench coat propped against the corner lamp post. Flatfoot, he thought, you kin always tell 'em.

Then he saw another man -- no, a skinny ape! -- lounging in the doorway the closed candy store. Slim Thing's thing, he mused. Well, there were other ways out of the building.

He turned and put a pot of water on the hotplate to boil for coffee. Then he took out his .45 automatic.

He popped the magazine, jacked the slide to remove the live on, and proceeded to strip her. Just another M1911A1, he thought, as his thumb found the sweet spot on the recoil spring plug and pressed just hard enough to allow him to rotate the barrel bushing. Her tension was suddenly released, like a spring that had been compressed within her. He collected the parts and gently placed them on the bed, fingering each one.

Chongx then slowly and lovingly moved her well-lubricated slide back to the disassembly notch, where he firmly pushed her slide stop from right to left, and suddenly she came apart in his hands! Her lubricating juices coated his fingers and he thought to himself that this was going to be a mess to clean up.

With increasing passion he wiped and inspected and cleaned each part, laying them on the current copy of the "Chicago Tribune." He rammed his cleaning rod into her barrel and with a few thrusts had it as clean as a whistle. A very light coat of lubricant and her barrel glistened. He began to build to the climax: he re-pinned the barrel in place, slid the slide back on, replaced the spring and the plug, tightened the barrel bushing around the plug, and with a sigh of ecstasy knew that she was again ready whenever he wanted and needed her.

Then, reaching for the cigarette he always had after such an encounter, he saw the newspaper article about the Tearoom

Two words jumped out at him, thrust themselves into his eyes like needles: pet monkey. Pet monkey. PET MONKEY!

He jumped up and down in anger and frustration, his "OOK! OOK! OOK!" bouncing around the third floor of the cheap apartment building like a handball in play.

PET MONKEY.

(To be continued)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 16 - 12:59 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! Amazing firearms porn! You have outdone yourself. You really should write this stuff under a pseudonym and build up a large clientele of devoted fans among NRA members. You could make a fortune and simultaneously piss off legions of Social Justice Warriors.

I note that Amos has been reduced to silence in the face of all this inspired literature.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 16 - 10:35 PM

He called the limey bimbo.

She answered with "Yes?" and Chongx said, "When ya wanna make the connection? Your little pussycat at Renata's. How about if you get a cab and meet me at Murphy's on Cicero and we'll go see how she's doing? And another thing -- watch out cuz you might be being tailed."

"All right," she agreed and hung up.

Penelope dressed in slacks, trainers, and a not-very-high-end blouse. She moved the things in her handbag to a waist pouch, pulled her hair back and fastened it. No sense in making myself conspicuous, she thought.

When she got off the elevator ("the lift," as she thought of it) she saw what had to be a policeman talking with the young woman at the cigar stand. He didn't see her and she walked past him out the door and hailed a taxi.

"Do you now where a bar called 'Murphy's' is on Cicero?" she asked the driver.

"Yeah, but it's not a very high class place," he answered.

"I'd like to go there, please," she said and go into the cab.

"You're payin'," said the driver and off they went.

(There will be more! More excitement, more blood, more bullets, more gore. And was Hector Ballsworthy really one of...them?)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 16 - 12:21 AM

Yes, THAT is the question that has everyone on tenterhooks! Could Ballsworthy be the very thing he has been warning others against? Why am I thinking of Dick Cheney when I say that?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 16 - 09:32 AM

No American citizen is a member of the lizard people. WE have blood tests you must take before you get married. Canada, however, doesn't require such and hence lizardmen and -women throng, throng I say!, the street of Montreal, Barrie, Quebec, Ottawa, Orillia, Saskatoon, Destruction Bay, Moosejaw, Baker Lake, St. Jean Port Joli, Halifax, Haines Junction, and other metropolitan areas. The law here says that any American found doing some Canadian canoodling is barred from the Presidency -- see Rafael "Ted" Cruz as an example. Here, for instance, is photographic PROOF that the Canadian government tried to warn the people, just before the entire Parliament was absorbed into the maws of the lizardmen.

So don't worry about ol' Hec (as nobody every called him). He's either lizard poop or he's not.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 16 - 09:33 AM

Oh, yes. LH took my 54545, so I've informed the lizardmen of his address and that he's nice and plumb and full of protein and stuff.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 16 - 10:02 AM

Penelope sat in the seedy pub, nursing a Coca-Cola. Seething. She'd been there an hour and seemed to have been, as the Americans said, "stood up."

The barman came by again and asked if she was named "Rutledge." Penelope admitted that she was and he said she was wanted in the back room. She followed him and noticed a cosh in his back pocket.

"In here. I gotta get back to the bar," said the publican.

Penelope opened the door and stepped into the room. There was a sharp odor of chloroform and everything went dark.

(Don't you wish you knew what's going to happen next?)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 22 October 1:46 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.