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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Rapaire 31 May 05 - 09:05 AM
Acme 31 May 05 - 03:14 PM
GUEST,MMario 31 May 05 - 03:18 PM
Rapparee 31 May 05 - 03:20 PM
GUEST,MMario 31 May 05 - 03:37 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 31 May 05 - 10:54 PM
Acme 01 Jun 05 - 01:49 AM
Rapparee 01 Jun 05 - 08:53 AM
Bunnahabhain 01 Jun 05 - 03:23 PM
GUEST 01 Jun 05 - 03:42 PM
Bunnahabhain 01 Jun 05 - 03:42 PM
Acme 01 Jun 05 - 03:45 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 05 - 03:54 PM
GUEST,MMario 01 Jun 05 - 04:06 PM
Amos 01 Jun 05 - 07:17 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 05 - 10:10 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jun 05 - 10:26 PM
Rustic Rebel 01 Jun 05 - 10:35 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jun 05 - 10:46 PM
Acme 02 Jun 05 - 12:10 AM
Rapparee 02 Jun 05 - 09:03 AM
GUEST,MMario 02 Jun 05 - 09:07 AM
Rapparee 02 Jun 05 - 09:13 AM
Acme 02 Jun 05 - 11:00 AM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 02 Jun 05 - 11:17 AM
GUEST,MMario 02 Jun 05 - 11:30 AM
Acme 02 Jun 05 - 12:59 PM
Bunnahabhain 02 Jun 05 - 03:24 PM
Bunnahabhain 02 Jun 05 - 08:06 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 05 - 10:19 PM
GUEST,MMario 03 Jun 05 - 08:37 AM
rumanci 03 Jun 05 - 08:41 AM
Rapparee 03 Jun 05 - 08:54 AM
rumanci 03 Jun 05 - 08:58 AM
GUEST,MMario 03 Jun 05 - 09:11 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jun 05 - 09:12 AM
rumanci 03 Jun 05 - 09:15 AM
GUEST,Gluon 03 Jun 05 - 09:21 AM
Rapparee 03 Jun 05 - 09:24 AM
rumanci 03 Jun 05 - 09:28 AM
GUEST 03 Jun 05 - 09:32 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jun 05 - 09:35 AM
Acme 03 Jun 05 - 09:37 AM
GUEST,YODA 03 Jun 05 - 09:37 AM
GUEST,MMario 03 Jun 05 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 03 Jun 05 - 12:15 PM
Amos 03 Jun 05 - 01:46 PM
Acme 03 Jun 05 - 06:24 PM
Amos 03 Jun 05 - 07:08 PM
Acme 03 Jun 05 - 07:10 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 31 May 05 - 09:05 AM

Oh, and Mom? We did a 10-mile float trip down the Snake River, too. Only it was never more than Class I water and we didn't go anywhere near Hell's Canyon, like to you said we shouldn't. And we ate some great food, like trout, and bisonburgers topped with elk chili, and square ice cream, and stuff. Got some good photos, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 May 05 - 03:14 PM

That was more exciting than mowing my lawn, even with quarks in my clean machine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 31 May 05 - 03:18 PM



Broohaven National Laboratory is trying to detemrmine what goes on inside e the heads Of MG, Sir JOhn, and the sh*mbles?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 05 - 03:20 PM

It's a darned shame, but I'm going to have to get the lawn mower fixed before I can use it again. Oh, poo. What a shame. How awful. I just don't know what I'll do.

(Jackson Lake is filling at the rate of 18 inches per day, with a 300 cfs outflow. That's as of Sunday. And it snowed a bunch more in the backcountry. We need water.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 31 May 05 - 03:37 PM

the major portion of my lawn hasn't been mowed since the mower broke last august.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 May 05 - 10:54 PM

Hi, Mom! I'm back! I didn't see any bison or elk. I saw Emmylou Harris. At least people said it was Emmylou Harris. I couldn't tell. I was too far away. It was definitely a woman with silvery hair and she sang a lot like what whoever sings on Emmylou Harris's records sings like. My friend John was working with the stage setup crew and he says it must have been Emmylou Harris since she stepped from a big bus and was immediately surrounded by cops. I'm still not sure. Could have been Paris Hilton for all I know.

No, I'm not the least bit bitter that the fine folks who organize my state's official folk festival spent $35,000 to bring in one "superstar" act to play for ninety minutes when, for about the same amount of money, they could have hired Doc Watson, Norman Blake, Tony Rice, Dan Crary, David Grier, John McCutcheon, Mike Marshall and Darrol Anger. Not one or two of them. All of them!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 01:49 AM

My neighbors have convinced me that my unusually tall grass last Feburary probably contributed to the burglary here at the house. So I'll be keeping my lawn mowed every week or so. I may not ever get the damned bermuda out of the flower beds, but it's nice and tidy in the designated lawn portions of the yard.

BWL--the more important question regarding your concert--could Emmy Lou see you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 08:53 AM

Heck, for thirty-five grand they coulda brought the whole Mudcat Cafe.

I also saw moose. In fact, a cow moose trotted right across the highway on our way into Wilson (outside Jackson Hole, where the billionaires are running out the poverty-strickened millionaires) and we had to do a quick stop.

Did I mention that we also saw a bunch of beaver? Three or four of the little buggers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 03:23 PM

And we ate some great food, like trout, and bisonburgers topped with elk chili, and square ice cream, and stuff.

Elk chilli? Is it elk, or is it chilli? This may be a stupid question, But I always say it's not a proper day unless you've asked a few of them. Being English just makes this easier (oh dear , you appear to have fallen off the cliff, are you alright?)


And if anybody says 'the only stupid questions are the ones you dan't ask' I shall


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 03:42 PM

Chili is short for "chili con carne" or "capiscum peppers with meat" - elk chili would then be chili con carne made with Elk as the meat. Don't even ask about beans because the truth of the matter is that the entire American Civil War was over whether or not one uses beans in chili. they just re-wrote the history books because it seemed pretty foolish after it all ended in a stalemate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 03:42 PM

Oh yes, you colonials and your funny ways of speaking. Chilli as a type of dish, rather than a spice. Whatever will you think of next? Not paying the taxes on your tea?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 03:45 PM

for about the same amount of money, they could have hired Doc Watson, Norman Blake, Tony Rice, Dan Crary, David Grier, John McCutcheon, Mike Marshall and Darrol Anger. Not one or two of them. All of them!

When you think about it, she must be pretty good, if it would take that many men to fill her shoes!

;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 03:54 PM

Chili is a sort of stew made with meat and chilEs. Originally it was just the two; these days chili is usually made with beans, meat, onions, chilEs, chili powder (a combination of spices), and a lot of other things. Me, I make it without beans but I do add rice. In Cincinnati they add cocoa powder and serve it over spaghetti (no, I'm not making this up!). Chili can be, and is, served over hot dogs, various burgers (I had chili made with elk served over a burger made from bison), baked potatoes, and pretty much whatever you want. Personally, I don't like foods that are so spicy they approach toxicity; my brother, on the other hand, uses habeneros in his his chili (unless his wife is watching, and she does). I've also had chili made with deer meat, bison, alligator, squirrel, and rabbit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 04:06 PM

I myself find the "Stream and field" combination of trout and bisonburger topped with elk chili a bit odd myself - I mean , okay, chiliburgers I've had, but trout with chili? not sure if that would go down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 07:17 PM

Chili is often served with beans, but I prefer it without. Rice makes a wonderful basis for either kind, especially long-grain brown rice. You can add interesting ingredients like ground nuts, corn, pine nuts or what-have-you without disturbing the basic balance of proteins which is excellent if beans are included.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 10:10 PM

Sonofabitch Stew

From the guts of a young calf:

Heart
Liver (small amount)
Tongue
Tenderloin
Sweetbreads
Marrow gut
Brains

Cube the top five meats. Add them to a hot Dutch oven that has a small amount of lard melted in the bottom. Brown the meats. Slice the marrow gut and add it to the pot. The brains are cooked in a separate pan and a few tablespoons of flour are added to thicken them. They are then added to the pot. Add a diced onion, salt and pepper. Cover in water and allow to cook for 12 hours (yes, we really mean 12 - not a misprint.) Continue to stir and do not allow it to stick.


Why, this sounds nearly as good as

Mouse Pie

5 fat field mice
1 cup macaroni
1/2 thinly sliced medium onion
1 medium can tomatoes
1 cup cracker crumbs
Salt and pepper

Boil macaroni 10 minutes. While it is cooking, fry the field mice long enough to fry out some of the excess fat. Grease a casserole with some of this fat and put a layer of macaroni on it. Add onions, then tomatoes, salt and pepper well. Add field mice and cover with remaining macaroni. Sprinkle the top with cracker crumbs. Bake at 375 degrees about 20 minutes or until mice are well done.


or even

Rocky Mountain Oysters (Montana Tendergroin)

    2 pounds bull testicles (lamb/sheep, calf or turkey testicles can also be used)
    1 cup flour
    1/4 cup cornmeal
    1 cup red wine
    salt, pepper, garlic powder to taste
    Louisiana Hot Sauce
    hog lard (cooking oil can be substituted)

Split the tough skin-like muscle that surrounds each "oyster." (use a sharp knife) You can also remove the skin easily if the "oysters" are frozen and then peeled while thawing. Set into a pan with enough salt water to cover them for one hour to remove some of the blood and drain.

Transfer to large pot. Add enough water to float "oysters" and a generous tablespoon of vinegar. Parboil, drain and rinse. Let cool and slice each "oyster" into 1/4 inch thick ovals. Sprinkle salt and pepper on both sides of sliced "oyster" to taste.

Mix flour, cornmeal and some garlic powder to taste in a bowl. Roll each slice into this dry mixture. Dip into milk. Dip into dry mixture. Dip into wine quickly (repeat the procedure for a thicker crust).
Place into hot cooking oil.

Add Louisiana Hot Sauce to cooking oil (it'll sizzle some, so be careful!). Cook until golden brown or tender, and remove with a strainer (the longer they cook, the tougher they get).


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Makes me hungry just posting this stuff!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 10:26 PM

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Makes me wanna puke just reading this stuff!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 10:35 PM

The bull.
I heard the bull yell.
I heard the bull yell very loud.
I heard the bull yell very loud when the farmer tried to cut off his balls.

The bull was yelling so loud that the farmer almost went deaf.
That didn't stop the farmer from going for the pearls. It only made him deaf.

I heard the bull yell.
The bull.


Hi all! Facinating bullshit going on around here. You all starting a bullshit cookbook?

Take one pound of your favorite bull part, add an ounce of tufted mice, sprinkle with powdered trout and add a can of pork and beans.
Eat when hungry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 10:46 PM

Just don't add any tacos or clams unless you're prepared to append a "non-bawdy" disclaimer to your post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 12:10 AM

BWL--I think it has been proven that clams can be downright bawdy, given the proper presentation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 09:03 AM

I swear, I'm gonna start a thread called either "Bawdy (non-bawdy)" or "Non-bawdy (bawdy)."

Oh, oh, I know!

Gluon! Here boy/girl! We're gonna start us a thread! Come on, you silly dog! Git over here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 09:07 AM

of course clams can be downright licentious! Why - they change sex!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 09:13 AM

True transexuals!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 11:00 AM

Sinuous clam


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 11:17 AM

And with this exhibit I rest my case.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 11:30 AM

WOW!

talk about "blue pictures"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 12:59 PM

Funny, but the real clam photos were more interesting that the array of junk that came up in a google image search on "bearded clam." It doesn't take long for the people-waving-their-genitals-around-in-public novelty to wear off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 03:24 PM

They are rather pretty.
Proper clam chowder!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 08:06 PM

Do you know where I found MOM? It can't take all of you to take Gluon for a walk, or even for a swim as well! Well, what have you got to say for yourselves?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 10:19 PM

I try to watch her, God knows I try, but Mom will just wander off! One of these days she's going to...to...end up in the Wrong Part Of Town.







Just like her kids....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 08:37 AM

heck! Mom was not even five hours down when you posted! and she is almost TEN hours down the list now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 08:41 AM

even MOMs have to sleep sometimes MMario
How else can they keep the eyes in their back of their heads refreshed?
;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 08:54 AM

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Can I have a candy and MMario's being a bully and Stilly won't let me have any moojuice and she spilled it and Amos is being mean! Make 'em stop and be nice, huh, Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 08:58 AM

Oh stop your whinging our kid. Go and put your head in a book young Rap - you never know where it might lead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:11 AM

who know - maybe he could become a cowboy astonaut when he grows up! But probably he'll be a librarian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:12 AM

Putting one's head in a book can lead to having a very flat head if someone else shuts the book...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:15 AM

Now there speaks volumes of experience


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gluon
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:21 AM

QUARK!!! QUARK!!!


(Translation: Getting your head slammed in a book is nothing! You should try having your hadron slammed in a book. Really makes a meson the pages.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:24 AM

sigh...

Share I had where shields were
shattered, wounds were bleeding,
franklins fell 'neath blows of
foes-of-linden-targes.
In holes I hide me now, am
hunted, without honor:
who knows if not, sometime, my
name be known and famed far?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:28 AM

"who knows if not, sometime, my
name be known and famed far? "

Rest assured - it must have worked.
Mom always did warn me about playing with you
*bg*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:32 AM

Far famed and known by thy name
Sometime, who knows if not?
Hunted without honor be;
In hole now hide thee.
'Neath Linden-foe targes
fell franklins below
Bleeding were wounds,
shattered were shields,
where had I to share?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:35 AM

The previous verses by Yoda composed they were?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:37 AM

MOM, I wish you'd drive back and forth to Dallas six times in the next three days. It makes me tired just thinking about it.

This morning--take five teens to the ACON convention
This evening--pick up youngest of teens to spend night at home (rest stay at hotel)
Tomorrow morning--take youngest teen back to ACON
Tomorrow night--pick up youngest teen (time negotiable--either Fri or Sat can be a late night, i.e., 11 or so)
Sunday moring--take youngest teen back to ACON
Sunday at 6pm--pick up five teens and bring back to Fort Worth

I'll try to get in here and give mom a boost when possible. But mostly I'll be filling up or driving mom's taxi.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,YODA
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:37 AM

qouted were they.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:38 AM

ACON?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 12:15 PM

Slgr fer gaur me ggju,
   ginn er hr komi inni,
   meir hefir skjaldar ska
   skrpalt, og ppu.
   Rekkr ltr raua bikkju
   reki skvaldr, fyrir aldir,
   skulut hla v jir,
   a er skaup, yfir staf hlaupa.


Mom said to tell you that! So there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 01:46 PM

Mom:

I am not being mean. I haven't written here since the 1st, and then it was an innocuous remark about chile recipes. So ... well, I'm sorry, but someone has to say this...my brother Rapaire is ... ya know ... kinda like ... slipping, if you see what I mean. I think there is a call for help in that last post. Moojuice? No, I mean some other kind of help. Do you still have that Austrian phone number for Liebenscheiss? He's the only one I know who can help someone in this sort of difficulty. He's really good, and highly respected -- he even helped Little Hawk, and yopu know what kind of mess he was in... I know it's hard, Mom, but we have to face up to the facts. Don't forget he has guns.

Can you talk to him? He'd listen if it came from you, I think. We can hyope.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 06:24 PM

I had the Yoda thought also, but since I haven't seen the movie and have only heard reviewers talk about his unique positioning of words, I let the remark slide. Watching someone I'm glad!

Amos, how can you complain about Rapaire when I think you've been ignoring all of us? I felt sure, after my good google pic sleuthing, that you might remark, or even better, offer a blue clam adjunct membership to the Golden Globes joint you promote so consistently. But no, not a peep!

MMario, I spelled it wrong. A-KON. http://www.a-kon.com/.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 07:08 PM

I am NOT ignoring you, Mag; I check this thread every day. I am just awed into silence, is all. But I am not being mean.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 07:10 PM

So that's the "odd silence" we've detected? ;-D


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