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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bunnahabhain 23 Jun 06 - 07:10 AM
Rapparee 23 Jun 06 - 08:53 AM
Amos 23 Jun 06 - 10:08 AM
MMario 23 Jun 06 - 10:14 AM
Amos 23 Jun 06 - 10:19 AM
MMario 23 Jun 06 - 10:42 AM
Amos 23 Jun 06 - 10:58 AM
MMario 23 Jun 06 - 11:00 AM
Rapparee 23 Jun 06 - 11:04 AM
MMario 23 Jun 06 - 11:07 AM
Rapparee 23 Jun 06 - 11:13 AM
Acme 23 Jun 06 - 11:24 AM
JennyO 23 Jun 06 - 11:36 AM
Bunnahabhain 23 Jun 06 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 06 - 05:53 PM
Little Hawk 23 Jun 06 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 06 - 10:39 PM
Acme 23 Jun 06 - 11:49 PM
Bunnahabhain 24 Jun 06 - 02:48 AM
Rapparee 24 Jun 06 - 11:28 AM
Bunnahabhain 24 Jun 06 - 03:49 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 06 - 05:57 PM
Bunnahabhain 24 Jun 06 - 07:58 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 06 - 08:25 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 06 - 08:53 AM
Acme 25 Jun 06 - 01:17 PM
GUEST,freds 25 Jun 06 - 01:51 PM
beardedbruce 25 Jun 06 - 02:05 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 06 - 02:12 PM
Bunnahabhain 25 Jun 06 - 02:24 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 06 - 03:02 PM
Bunnahabhain 25 Jun 06 - 07:35 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 06 - 08:46 PM
Amos 26 Jun 06 - 09:24 AM
MMario 26 Jun 06 - 09:31 AM
Acme 26 Jun 06 - 10:29 AM
Amos 26 Jun 06 - 12:10 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jun 06 - 01:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jun 06 - 02:32 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jun 06 - 03:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jun 06 - 04:10 PM
MMario 26 Jun 06 - 04:13 PM
Amos 26 Jun 06 - 05:02 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jun 06 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 06 - 05:39 PM
Acme 26 Jun 06 - 06:52 PM
Amos 26 Jun 06 - 07:49 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 06 - 08:33 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jun 06 - 08:54 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 06 - 09:24 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 07:10 AM

I have decided I have too much time at the moment. I went to get some citric acid, as we have been making lots of elderflower cordial, and the extra acid might help it keep better.

Unfortunatly, whist I was there, the guy managed to sell me a home brewing set-up......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 08:53 AM

That acid can be bad stuff, man. A friend of mine tried it and either spent hours staring at the sun or decided to fly around the roof of the Empire State Building or maybe both, ya know? And the flashbacks can get ya at the worst times, like when you're getting married or in church or at your mom's funeral or when you're driving at, like 90 miles per hour, ya know? And then you can get some windpane, which is mixed with, like, strychnine, and even though you can get a jagged high you can die from the strych, ya know? So you'd, like, be better sticking with, like, grass, ya know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 10:08 AM

Friday morning, a long week behind with too many tasks and too few hours of rest in between them. My ass is dragging and the freshly ground, freshly brewed, strong as Hercules black coffee I am transfusing doesn't seem to be the thing. I have a to-do list as long as my socks. So the last thing I want is to have to jack Mom back up the hill, laden down with a fresh load of BS that is 87% water.

But in this kind of country, there's no way around; you can't get theah from heah and you can't pick up a phone and order it done. Nope, you're on your own resources out here. So if you want the whole thread jacked up, man, you get to do the jacking.

Makes ya self-sufficient, resourceful, gives you spine and the right to look any other man in the eye with quiet pride, knowing you have made your own way and jacked up your own threads, are not a city slicker who needs help from hired hands just to wash dishes, or a bumpkin who can't find his way north from south. Yer a man, me son. Hit that submit button, and walk tall.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 10:14 AM

you're on the west coast! you get three extra hours to sleep!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 10:19 AM

YEah, but you get to go to bed three hours early!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 10:42 AM

Long research during college years established the fact that it is not how early or late you get to bed; but how late you get up that defines whether or not you rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 10:58 AM

Yeah, well, it might look like late rising to you, but you're overlooking that I'm getting up for the FOLLOWING day!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 11:00 AM

to qoute the good Sir JOhn of Hul9:

oh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 11:04 AM

When I was in college I was in bed (alone, hands outside the covers) no later than 8:30, because I was chaste and inviolate and temperate and modest and studious and prayerful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 11:07 AM

that's AM?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 11:13 AM

And lonely and horny and thirsty....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 11:24 AM

A recent study I read about concludes that if you can get to bed before midnight that you'll benefit more from the rest. Going to bed at 10 or 11 instead of midnight, even if you're still getting 8 hours sleep, the sleep is qualitatively better when you sleep a couple of hours prior to midnight. I don't know why, but I know that it feels true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 11:36 AM

I get to bed before midnight.

3am and 4am are WELL before midnight -





































the next day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 05:50 PM

Getting to bed before midnight is easy. It's making sure you haven't got your partner, a radio or any books nearby thats hard. Or does that still count?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 05:53 PM

If I don't have a book nearby I ain't livin', much less sleepin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 06:12 PM

Then there is the dachshund routine: 20 hours of sleep a day, with time off in between to eat, bark, and committ petty theft.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 10:39 PM

So is there something wrong with that??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 11:49 PM

Jaa-ääni, te aari korjata!

(I wanted to use this again, it was such fun finding it for the "name the Mudcatter" thread.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 02:48 AM

Finnish by any chance Stilly? It's Greek to me anyway (well, I know it's not Greek, but regardless)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 11:28 AM

Ελληνικά; Αυτός μη ελληνικά. Αυτό είναι ελληνικά. Ελπίζω ότι μπορείτε να δείτε τη διαφορά.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 03:49 PM

Well, since Rapaire asked....

Q1: Ελληνικά; Αυτός μη ελληνικά.
A: Yes, of course.

Q2:Αυτό είναι ελληνικά.
A: Blue.

Q3 Ελπίζω ότι μπορείτε να δείτε τη διαφορά.
A: Thankfully, I don't have a sister, so that's impossible. I thought actions like that would get you thrown out of the legion, and any other respectable organisation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 05:57 PM

'Bout the only thing that can get you tossed from the Legion (it's a ceremony wherein the Legion Commandante cuts away your fly button with a sword, and God help you if you have a zipper) is "sobering to excess."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 07:58 PM

Oh. That's alright then. Somewhere in my past post I mixed up the legion with a respectable organisation....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:25 PM

Sir! Please! Do not confuse the Idaho Legion with a respectable organization! The last time someone did the Legion demanded an apology and when it wasn't received Certain Actions Were Taken. The Actions Taken were of necessity done "black" or "under cover" but I am certain that you are familiar with the results: a Scottish parliament ruling not only Scotland but England, Cornwall, Wales, and the Isle of Man; the restoration of the Scottish monarchy and the Pledge of Fealty by Elizabeth II; the piobrach restored to its rightful place in symphony orchestra worldwide, and, of course, the adoption of haggis as THE breakfast dish of the Scottish (formerly British) Isles.

Have you never walked through Prestonpans Square in London and gazed up at Wallace's Column? Or does your heart not beat a bit faster when you think on Dunnichen or Harlaw as you sip your Talisker?

You may thank the work of the Idaho Legion and their determined stand in defense of irrespectiveness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 08:53 AM

Fair morrow, good Mother! Wilt thou break thy fast with these small morsels of meat and bread, and quench thy thirst with a flagon of chilled mead?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 01:17 PM

Naw, she already had a couple of generous slices of my homemade banana bread and a cuppa hot tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 01:51 PM

You people haven't been very responsive, so if we don't have your answer within one-quarter of the half-life of Thorium we will be forced to take drastic actions.

For your own sakes and the sakes of your putative descendants remember that the instrument of temporal measurment is operating.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 02:05 PM

"Thorium-232 has a half-life of 14 billion (14x109) years, and decays by alpha emission, with accompanying gamma radiation. ... Two other isotopes of thorium, which can be significant in the environment, are thorium-230 and thorium-228. Both belong to other decay series. They also decay by alpha emission, with accompanying gamma radiation, and have half-lives of 75,400 years and 1.9 years, respectively. "


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 02:12 PM

So we have either a very long time, a fairly long time, or about five and a half months to decide. Interesting time scale them freds work on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 02:24 PM

You've gone and left you prophesing on by accident again, Rap. Gordon Brown will become PM in a year or two, and then the ascendancy of all things Scottish will happen.

Except the bit about the Isle of Man, which has a form of goverment that has evolved from Viking Tradions, and so has a special Status that gives it leave to ignore Westminster on most things.

They used to hold all meetings of the Tynwald ( parliment type thing) on Midsummers day, outdoors. This had the effect of keeping Govement to a bare minimum, as most people would either be drunk fom the morning celebrations, or wanting to finish up so they could go join in the Eveneing celebrations.... Doesn't sound a bad idea.


In fact, we should have all our parliments outside. No more seperating the politicians from the people. No shelter from the elements. They'd soon get the idea.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 03:02 PM

And who do you think is responsible for that? Hmmmmmm? The voters? Not likely! It was the Special Operations Boys* (called "the SOBs") of the Special Operations Branch (called "that SOB") of the Idaho Legion, that's who. They'll be happy to take your gratitude in, ah, liquid form.






*There are women involved with that SOB as well as men. Men were chosen for this particular SpecOp (as it's called) because of the kilts involved. The women work under the aegis of the Black Operations/Special Operations Mission; they are currently involved in Awfully Extremely Secret Operations Procedures involving the French postal authorities; more I cannot say under the provisions of the Legion Official Secrets Extraordinary Rules Statute.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 07:35 PM

I know many women with Kilts, of various lengths*. And various lengths of kilt too. Under the SOBHD rules and guidelines, they're not doing it right unless you can see their underwear.


* height would be more normal, but my current least favouite use** for female highland dancers involves laying them on the floor, and trying to end up in exactly the right spot, with the best technique I can and exactly on time. Or not landing on them at least, and tall women make it harder.

**It does share certain elements with more fun activities.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 08:46 PM

Ah, Bunn...the SOBs from the Legion not only wore underwear under their kilts, but it was of the old-fashioned long red kind. They pretty much had to do so because some of them fellers ain't had them longhandles off in twenny or thirty years -- you'd probably have to chisel 'em off too, for some of them SOBs don't bathe all that regular.

Since they've been back some of them have taken to hangin' around in their Scottish get-up, asking young women if they'd "like to stick your hand inso my sporran and feel my sgain dhu." Those are pronounced "SPORE-anny" and "skinned doo." This has resulted in everything from indignent face slaps to arrests to frightening one poor SOB out of his skin when the young lady took him up on his offer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 09:24 AM

Well, I know my descendants are a bit reckless, but I wouldn't call her putative, freds...that's a bit insulting.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 09:31 AM

hey Amos! Why are you using plural forms for Barky? Do you have some news?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 10:29 AM

Funny--Google can read minds! Mmario's general query generated ads for "Children's and Baby Kilts" and "Wedding Kilt Rentals(USA).
(What, you say it is responding to "kilt" and not "baby" or "wedding"? Naw. Google's better than that!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 12:10 PM

I was infected by the freds undiscriminating sense that everything is collective.

Sorry.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 01:31 PM

Given what you could have been infected with by the Freds, you got off lucky....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 02:32 PM

Hi, Mom! I just got back from walking to the pond to feed my fish, and I have a question you may be able to answer. I noticed that the bag of fish food says "Floating Fish Food". If someone has floating fish, why do they need food? Floating fish are dead!

My fish aren't dead. They're alive and they swim. Why don't they make "Swimming Fish Food"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 03:15 PM

You're not supposed to feed them food. Try the dismemebred corpses of people who annoy you mildly. You'll find the labels won't matter much soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 04:10 PM

But they're koi! Koi are vegetarians!. Well, supposedly...

We gave our daughter a small koi which she put in an indoor aquarium along with her tropical fish. She fed them all tropical fish food, which has lots of animal-derived stuff like freeze-dried brine shrimp in it. A couple of years later, the nice, passive, vegetarian koi had become a raging carnivore and had eaten all the other fish in the tank!

The idea of turning a half-acre pondful of five-pound koi into carnivores to get rid of some pesky neighbors and their yappy dogs does have a certain appeal. However, I do go swimming in that pond and I'm rather fond of all my body parts, especially the one the fish would be most likely to mistake for a leftover hot dog.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 04:13 PM

koi are carnivourous. They wil devour snails, crayfish, minnows, their own eggs, fry, and smaller koi. the only vegetarian koi are koi that haven't seen a living thing they can fit in their mouth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 05:02 PM

Which, presumably, is not a description of BWL's hot-dog-like body part.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 05:12 PM

I think you going to be wanting another pond...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 05:39 PM

Koi are carp. Carp will eat anything they can get their jaws around. I haven't tried it, but I understand that they're pretty exciting to take on a fly rod.

Filleted, lightly breaded with seasoned corn meal and fried, carp make a decent fish dish. They were originally brought into the US as a food source.

Koi too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 06:52 PM

Had we but world enough, and time,
This koiness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down, and think which way
To swim, and pass our long love's day.
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shoudst fishies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the food,
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Cod. . . .


Fish don't seem to adapt (or I can't remember any suitable names to fill in the appropriate niches).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 07:49 PM

Stilly, that's really poetical, like!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 08:33 PM

It's pretty fishy, I think. But it does do a fin job of scaling the heights of poetry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 08:54 PM

Considering the depths we could sink to, rather good. I don't fathom this poetry stuff at all myself though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 09:24 PM

Oh, just take the bait and the hook will be set! You'll be scooped up in the net of poetry.


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