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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 19 Nov 06 - 01:36 PM
Amos 19 Nov 06 - 03:18 PM
Acme 19 Nov 06 - 04:22 PM
Amos 19 Nov 06 - 09:57 PM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 12:27 AM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 09:09 AM
Acme 20 Nov 06 - 09:19 AM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 09:27 AM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 10:02 AM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 02:02 PM
frogprince 20 Nov 06 - 02:17 PM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 04:35 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 06 - 06:35 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 06 - 06:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Nov 06 - 07:09 PM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 07:11 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 06 - 09:08 PM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 09:55 PM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 10:01 PM
Acme 21 Nov 06 - 12:07 AM
Rapparee 21 Nov 06 - 10:19 AM
Amos 21 Nov 06 - 10:40 AM
MMario 21 Nov 06 - 10:44 AM
Rapparee 21 Nov 06 - 11:57 AM
Bunnahabhain 21 Nov 06 - 12:20 PM
Amos 21 Nov 06 - 12:24 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 06 - 12:59 PM
Acme 21 Nov 06 - 02:01 PM
Amos 21 Nov 06 - 03:03 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 06 - 06:53 PM
Amos 21 Nov 06 - 08:09 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 06 - 10:11 PM
Acme 21 Nov 06 - 11:20 PM
Amos 21 Nov 06 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 06 - 10:26 AM
Amos 22 Nov 06 - 10:53 AM
Acme 22 Nov 06 - 11:26 AM
Acme 22 Nov 06 - 11:28 AM
Amos 22 Nov 06 - 01:38 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 06 - 06:50 PM
Acme 23 Nov 06 - 01:47 AM
Rapparee 23 Nov 06 - 09:19 AM
Rapparee 23 Nov 06 - 09:39 AM
JennyO 23 Nov 06 - 10:50 AM
JennyO 23 Nov 06 - 10:53 AM
JennyO 23 Nov 06 - 10:55 AM
Acme 23 Nov 06 - 12:03 PM
Bunnahabhain 23 Nov 06 - 12:26 PM
GUEST,Amos 23 Nov 06 - 05:00 PM
JennyO 23 Nov 06 - 08:01 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 01:36 PM

It's a purification process, not a taste-improving process. Like my Law of cooking: Nontoxic in, nontoxic out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 03:18 PM

Water that is, in fact, pure, will not have any flavor, as far as I note; conversely iff there are enough extraneous particles to give it a fecal flavor, it isn't pure.

What am I missing here?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 04:22 PM

I think I'd rather follow Google's lead and talk about Tyvek and Insulation and Efficient Attic systems.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 09:57 PM

Such a lyedy, you!!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 12:27 AM

DuPont Tyvek® has introduced new dimensions of protection, security and safety in a wide variety of industries, including protective apparel, construction, envelopes, medical packaging and graphics!

Made from very fine, high-density polyethylene fibers, Tyvek® brand protective material offers all the best characteristics of paper, film and fabric in one material. This unique balance of properties, which cannot be found in any other material, makes Tyvek® lightweight yet strong; vapor-permeable, yet water-, chemical-, puncture-, tear- and abrasion-resistant. Tyvek® is also low-linting, smooth and opaque.

The discovery of Tyvek® was a chance occurrence by a DuPont researcher, Jim White, who in 1955 noticed white polyethylene fluff coming out of a pipe in a DuPont experimental lab. A program to develop the new material was set up, and a year later DuPont submitted a patent proposal for strong yarn linear polyethylene.

The proprietary flash-spinning technology, which is the basis for what was to become DuPont's new engineered sheet structure, took several more years to perfect. In 1959, a pilot facility was established for trial applications such as book covers, tags, labels and certain garments. In 1965, the new engineered sheet structure was registered under the trademark name Tyvek®, but it was not until April 1967 that commercial production of Tyvek® started.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 09:09 AM

I don't think we should wrap Mom in Tyvek. It's not comfortable on the skin.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 09:19 AM

But you could make her a nice windbreaker. My Dad has one of those--it was a novelty as far as he was concerned, his white Tyvek jacket.

Say, if you've read any of Alaska Mike's recent posts you'll know he was in a pretty hefty coma for a few days. Sounds like he came up with some premium BS material--how's about we nominate Alaska Mike as an honorary MOABite? (Just till he feels better--then he'll have to maintain his membership on his own).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 09:27 AM

ABsolutely. Send him a Tyvek membership card.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 10:02 AM

14963 messages, says Printer Friendly, the only survivor who can still count...his wife, User, says it's because he kept his wits when all around him were losing theirs, and blaming it on him.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 02:02 PM

I am so glad Rapaire is coming to San Diego. I will have a chance to present to him my collection of Ukrainian 15th Century love ballads, each of which is twice as long, at a minimum, as Bar'bry Ellen.

There are 112 of them. I have them all memorized. But in order not to fatigue him, I am trying to choose the 40 best to sing to him when he comes to visit. It is not an easy choice. "The Heart of a Birch Tree Also Breaks", for example, could not be missed, even with its thirty-seven verses. Hard decisions...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: frogprince
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 02:17 PM

Be afraid, Rapaire; be very afraid!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 04:35 PM

Nah, I have decided to only do the ones with less than twenty verses each. He'll be back in his hotel by four AM, at the latest. Hell, we stayed up later than that at the Getaway and I never sang even ONE Ukrainian love ballad.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 06:35 PM

I'm alllergic to Ukranian love ballads. They make me break out in Cossack dance, the one where you kick your feet out, and swing a sword wildly in all directions and this make people break out with bruises and ugly cuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 06:39 PM

I should mention that I'm in Indiana all this week. So if you drop by the house, notbody will be home. You'll have to drive to Indiana to see me. But just so you know:

The check is in the mail.
She LOOKED 25.
I was out of town when it happened.
My gun was unloaded.
I was with witnesses.
I was drunk, but not THAT drunk.
Look, that check is good -- redeposit it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 07:09 PM

Hi, Mom! Long time no see.

Why does the forum home page say there are only 8,697 posts on this thread, but there are actually 300 pages of posts which, at 50 posts per page, equals 15,000? Is somebody trying to make it look like you've been on a diet or something?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 07:11 PM

I have duly noted your excuses, Rapaire, in case I need to present them to a CHP officer on your behalf later. As for your allergy, not to worry. This is California. We have herbal remedies for everything, and there is a health food store just down the block. Tincture of hemlock, I think...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 09:08 PM

It's a plan to fatten up Mom while skinnying her down. Max and Pene thought it up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 09:55 PM

Bee Dubya Ell, you got some catchin' up to do. You sit right down and get started on it!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 10:01 PM

1 4 9 7 3



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 12:07 AM

My cat just hopped up in my lap to shed in the keyboard and purr a greeting to MOM. He's the color of that Tyvek wrap. Maybe I should convince my teenaged son that Tyvek is a fashion statement so he would stop fussing about the cat hair on his black jeans and t-shirts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 10:19 AM

Only buy him clothes the color of cat and dog hair and he'll be fine, albeit unfashionable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 10:40 AM

I would think it would be expensive trying to find low-rise cords that match a cat, for example. Or Army fatigues in Doberman.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 10:44 AM

not too much problem - my nephew had cords that matched each of our cats and each of our dogs. Even had pairs that matched the burro and the gelding. (And matching turtlenecks for each colour - but that's another story - the only turtleneck he *DIDn't* have matching cords for was the plaid one)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 11:57 AM

Well, for some time now I've been aware
That my hearing's been lower than my underwear.
It's called sensorineural hearing loss
Ototoxicological, and it ain't boss.

Took quinine for leg cramps, don't ya see?
Worked great, but caused severe loss ta me.
Can't hear high frequencies, like a woman's voice,
But my wife wrote a note with some Good Advice.


All of the above is true. I learned it over a month ago, following a full-blown hearing test at the local University's Audiology Department. And I've been going to classes and reading up on it.

Sensorineural hearing loss means that you can't hear high frequency sounds very well, if at all. And really and truly and I ain't kiddin' hear are those sounds:

/f//k/ /th//s/ /sh//t/

I about split a gut laughing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 12:20 PM

Well, at least it bypases the conversation that goes like..


1)What was that dear?
2)Oh, doesn't matter.
1)You sure?
2)If it was important, you should have been listening in the first place.
1) You know I can't hear if I'm in the kitchen, and you're in here with show of hands on that loud
etc...

And people have money on us being the next couple in the group to get engaged. I really don't know where they get that idea!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 12:24 PM

/f//k/ /th//s/ /sh//t/


Was this a list of the specific phonemes for which you rhearing is impaired? In the order given? Or was this the note of Good Advice from Missus Paire? Hilariouos in either case.

:D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 12:59 PM

That's the phonemes. The order doesn't make any difference, but the books don't put them in that particular sequence for some reason.

For whatever it's worth, I can hear gunshots okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 02:01 PM

I have a lawn mower that has something bent or out of alignment. Consequently it is so loud that I really should remember to use ear protection next time I mow. I'm waiting for the growing season to end so I can take this thing in to get worked on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 03:03 PM

I would suggest, if it is that loud, that you may have bent the blade or misaligned the hub, and you should have it repaired BEFORE using it some more.

If that sucker lets go because a bolt shears due to unplanned for torque at an angle, you don't want your shapely ankles anywhere in the throwing radius unless you have extraordinarily fast jumping reflexes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 06:53 PM

It also cuts the grass unevenly. I know, because Pat did this one time when she hit a piece of rebar that had been pounded into the ground for some reason.

And you should wear hearing protection EVERY time you cut the grass (assuming you use a gas powered mower). And every time you use a leaf blower. In fact, if in any doubt at all use hearing protection.

What get me is that I've used hearing protection when I cut the grass, when I use a leaf blower, when I go shooting, for years and years. Then I get done in by quinine!

/sh//t/!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 08:09 PM

DOne in by the sound of a passing karma, huh? Dang!!!

Hey Mom! I am going to see Barky and will be on the road until Monday!!


SOMEBODY LOOK AFTER MOM, EH???


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 10:11 PM

Well, I'm off to see the new Tut exhibit in Chicago tomorrow, but I'll be around. I'll try to do what I can to insure that Mom stays healthy. Tell Barky I said, "If guitars were so great, Joshua woulda used 'em at Jericho! Trumpets RULE!!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 11:20 PM

I've had that same thought about the mower. But I haven't hit anything with this blade. I did two years ago and I put on this new blade. It has gradually gotten worse, so it could be a bent post of some sort.

Rap, when you finish with Tut (I've seen him twice, once back in the 1960s in Seattle and once in the 1990s in NYC) you could swing by Fort Worth and check out Hatshepsut.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 11:38 PM

Check it out, but don't step in it....


The Google ads are offering "Choir Shirts for Less". now. Cui bono?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 10:26 AM

Mornin' Mom! Gotta run, 'cause Tut awaits me at the Field Museum.

I'm mentally writing a song about this....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 10:53 AM

Dear Tut, Old Tut
Ya shoulda kept it shut
Ya mighta lasted just a little longer.....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 11:26 AM

Tut, Tut, Hatshepshut


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 11:28 AM

Oops, typo:

Tut, Tut, Hatshepsut


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 01:38 PM

Oy! I want me mummy!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 06:50 PM

I think I ruptured my sarcophagus wandering around that museum. And if you think there's useless stuff around today, ol' Tutty had hisself a solid gold dagger!

Here, I done writ a song about it:

I've lived as a simple guy
And a simple guy I'll die
I just want a simple funeral, you see
Nothing fancy or too swell,
Just some roses, prayers, and well,
A sold gold sarcophagus for me!

Just wrap me up in yards of linen
Stuck together with some resin
Put lots of gold and jewelry things therein.
I've worth every single cent
So it's not something to resent
When on my corpse you place a big ol' diamond pin.

Make my grave large, wide, and deep
Ten thousand mourners there to weep
There are no sins for which I must atone.
And inside my funeral chamber
Pile my furniture and other plunder
Then top it with a billion tons of stone.

For I'm just a simple guy
And a simple guy I'll die
And I want a simple funeral, you see
Nothing fancy or too swell,
Just some roses, prayers, and well...
This is just the least that you can do for me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 01:47 AM

If he visits Texas and has to be rewrapped, you can write a song about The Sheets of Laredo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 09:19 AM

Hey, he was a Pharaoh! He wouldn't put up with that kind of sheet, what with his dry wit and all. I mean, he IS a gutless wonder, but he has his standards.

Pat bought me one of those pharaohnic headresses, like on Tut's death mask, to wear to work. All black and gold with a cobra sticking its tongue out. The staff is gonna love it...maybe I'll wear it next Tuesday to my Monthly Mayor Meeting. Now I gotta get a crook and a flail and I'll be all set.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 09:39 AM

Oh yeah. Happy Thanksgiving to all MOABites who are around Mom's place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 10:50 AM

Ancient Egypt down by the Nile,
Mummy's gonna be in a tomb for a while
Fair go pharoah, that's not funny,
Tell King Tut - I WANT MY MUMMY!


wish I could remember the rest of it....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 10:53 AM

Oh yes, and Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate it. We don't seem to go in for Thanksgiving down here in Oz. We have taken on a lot of the US customs, but not this one it seems.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 10:55 AM

15,000 by the way ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 12:03 PM

Why so it was!

Beautiful warm sunny day here today, all week has been like this. Not our usual Thanksgiving weather. We have had some pretty nasty turkey-days in the past, and those feel more the norm. But for now, though we're still in a drought it is cooler and the yards look great. I wish the grass would stop growing, it should be dormant by now.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 12:26 PM

Well Thanksgiving does represent the arrival of settlers in a new, free, land, whereas the first europeans making landfall in any great numbers in Australia were not so lucky, although simply getting off an 18th century wooden ship after 6+ months would be cause enough to celebrate.

I can't find anything giving me a typical route for thes ships, but they'd only be stopping an Atlantic port, the cape of Good Hope, probably straight across to Western Australia


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 05:00 PM

Warmest felicitations to all my fellow MOABites from sunny San Jose, where the clan has gathered at Barky's for full blown multicourse celebratory dinner. Had a grand evening with Mudlark outside Paso Robles yesterday, en route, and sang until the wee hours. She is a remarkable fine singer.

Despite the surfeit of good local wine (Paso Robles is a rising center of excellent vineyards) I am not hung over today, and Barky's place is warm and rich with music flowing and chatter among the three generations of women folk gathered here.

Life is good, and I have many things to feel grateful about, especially BBW and Barky, but not least among them, my many fine friends and companions from this wacky virtual universe!


Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 08:01 PM

Certainly we in Oz have a lot to be thankful for - a beautiful country with unique flora and fauna and a pleasant (most of the time) climate. It's true that a lot of our ancestors came here under rather dire circumstances, but many of them eventually achieved not only freedom, but land ownership and a successful business career. A good example is Mary Reiby. Several places in Sydney are named after her, and her face is on our $20 note. The entrepreneurial spirit is very strong here.

We have Australia Day on January 26, which celebrates the anniversary of Captain Arthur Phillip unfurling the British flag at Sydney Cove and proclaiming British sovereignty over the eastern seaboard of Australia on 26 January 1788. More here Australia Day - an historic timeline. It's a public holiday that is accompanied by naturalisation ceremonies, concerts, fireworks, and the Great Aussie Barbeque, usually in stinking hot weather. Many, like me, would prefer to just stay indoors and try to keep cool.

However many Indigenous Australians think of it as Invasion or Survival Day - an annual reminder of the occupation of the country they had inhabited for tens of thousands of years and recalls the damage to their relationship with the land, culture, traditions and beliefs that followed. Although attempts are being made to use it to promote understanding, respect and reconciliation with our aboriginal people, I personally think that particular date can't help being a reminder to them.

I wish we had a significant day in a cooler part of the year. Some people hold a "Christmas in July" party just so they can have the traditional hot dinner in weather that is more conducive. I'd like to see another day, like Thanksgiving, in about May, that would fit in with the "harvest" idea just before winter. I've never heard any suggestion of it though, so I guess I'll just have to make up my own. We could do "Samhain" at home. That would be nice.


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