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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bunnahabhain 12 Dec 06 - 12:36 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 06 - 01:42 PM
Amos 12 Dec 06 - 01:54 PM
Acme 12 Dec 06 - 02:26 PM
MMario 12 Dec 06 - 02:32 PM
Amos 12 Dec 06 - 03:43 PM
MMario 12 Dec 06 - 03:46 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 06 - 03:56 PM
Acme 12 Dec 06 - 04:07 PM
Acme 12 Dec 06 - 04:10 PM
MMario 12 Dec 06 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 06 - 06:11 PM
Bunnahabhain 12 Dec 06 - 06:35 PM
Amos 12 Dec 06 - 07:05 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 06 - 11:11 PM
Amos 12 Dec 06 - 11:35 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 06 - 11:38 PM
Amos 13 Dec 06 - 10:15 AM
Bunnahabhain 13 Dec 06 - 10:15 AM
Acme 13 Dec 06 - 10:25 AM
MMario 13 Dec 06 - 10:26 AM
Rapparee 13 Dec 06 - 12:00 PM
Amos 13 Dec 06 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 06 - 01:10 PM
MMario 13 Dec 06 - 01:12 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 06 - 03:07 PM
Acme 13 Dec 06 - 03:29 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 06 - 06:23 PM
Bunnahabhain 13 Dec 06 - 07:17 PM
GUEST,Rt. Honorable J. St.J. Smythe-Rugwright IV 13 Dec 06 - 10:40 PM
Amos 13 Dec 06 - 11:26 PM
MMario 14 Dec 06 - 08:31 AM
GUEST,Rt. Honorable J. St.J. Smythe-Rugwright IV 14 Dec 06 - 09:04 AM
MMario 14 Dec 06 - 09:15 AM
Amos 14 Dec 06 - 09:29 AM
MMario 14 Dec 06 - 09:41 AM
Acme 14 Dec 06 - 10:40 AM
Acme 14 Dec 06 - 10:43 AM
Amos 14 Dec 06 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 06 - 06:12 PM
Acme 14 Dec 06 - 08:02 PM
Amos 14 Dec 06 - 08:08 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 06 - 09:02 PM
Amos 15 Dec 06 - 12:28 AM
Amos 15 Dec 06 - 10:45 AM
MMario 15 Dec 06 - 10:49 AM
Rapparee 15 Dec 06 - 12:31 PM
MMario 15 Dec 06 - 12:33 PM
Amos 15 Dec 06 - 12:37 PM
MMario 15 Dec 06 - 12:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 12:36 PM

You're right. I carefully constructed it though, to not use any vowels at all. And in rhyming couplets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 01:42 PM

Amos, you soap-sucking #!$&*!! You louse-covered, freeway-driving, slug-ridden $%%#@@*&%@!! You posted that bit on Zwicky KNOWING that I would spend too much time reading and following the links when I had that letter from the County Prosecutor to deal with! Now I'm behind and it's all YOUR FAULT!!!

I'll have my people contact your people to work out an equitable solution. Possibly you can return the time I spent by lopping it off the top of your lifespan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 01:54 PM

Dear Mister Paire:

My client wishes to advise you of the following relevant information regarding your recent threat to him contained in your recent post on this thread.

1. He does not now, nor has he ever, sucked soap in any way which would qualify for your derogatory definition of him as "soap-sucking".

2. Driving on freeways in an inherent responsibility for all active members of modern Western civilization in reach of an urban center.

3. He is not now, nor has he ever been, in any relationship with any slugs, present comapny excepted.

4. He wishes to further advise you that a failure to manage your time allocation on this mortal coil on your part in no way constitutes any form or kind of emergency on his own part and disclaims all responsibiliity for decisions you made while clicking on blue clickies included in his post or any sequelae thereto of a logical, electronic, or cybernetic nature.

5. As regards the return of time you have spent in idle pursuit of merely intellectual riches while deferring your responsibilities relative to the County Prosecutor's office, he offers only his sympathies and invites you to state a financial valuation attached to any considered lopping of his natural life-span, keeping in mind that the value attached to the increments thereto is always exponentially augmented in proportion to the proximity to the distal end of such life-span.

With kindest regards,

Les Fugouiup Cannoui, Partner
Cannaoui, Scruiem and Goode, Attornys at Law


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 02:26 PM

Anything sounds classier in French:


Une Chanson De Noël L'ol gai 'Saint Nicholas,
se penchent votre oreille de cette façon!
Vous ne dites pas à une âme simple
ce que je vais dire:
La veille de Noël viendra bientôt;
maintenant, vous gros vieux chuchotement d'homme
ce que vous m'apporterez;
tandis que je vous dis ce que je peux.

Quand l'horloge sonne douze,
et je suis rapidement bas
endormi la cheminée, vous viendrez
avec votre valise, vous rampez
tout notre argent que vous trouverez
le bureau du papa intérieur,
le tiroir moyen ne fermez pas si bon,
svp ne faites pas un désordre.

Le papa sera derrière la porte,
le Ma sera dans le
papa de lit dit si vous vous introduisez là,
il vous remplira complètement du fil.
Je le laisserai jusqu'à vous, cher homme
comment partir furtivement loin
parce que si vous êtes trouvé dans ma chambre encore
là serez enfer à payer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 02:32 PM

Anything sounds classier in French

True enough (I mean 'vraiment!')

Merde! or Sacre Blue! sound so much better then

Holy Shit! or F*ck!

much much classier - even if basically the same sentiment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 03:43 PM

Baisant, mon vieux copain!! Vraiment j'n'savais point qu' tu parlais le Francais!! Vachement bien!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 03:46 PM

*chortle* you have to admire a language in which "cow-most" is the equivilant of "bloody good"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 03:56 PM

Baisant, mon vieux copain!! Vraiment j'n'savais point qu' tu parlais le Francais!! Vachement bien!!

This translates as

To the basement, my old co-pain! I have no point in saving your clothing who has French pearls. You're a good cow!

Of course, this translation doesn't take into account the French idioms, nuances, metaphors, hyperboles, verbs, nouns or body language so it might not be quite exact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 04:07 PM

Baisant, mon vieux copain!! Vraiment j'n'savais point qu' tu parlais le Francais!! Vachement bien!!

Kissing, my old buddy!! Really I did not know that you spoke French!! Bloody well!!

Babel Fish comes up with a mildly amusing version. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 04:10 PM

Penso che abbia lanciato abbastanza indizii per il momento. Se il mio Santee ottiene la direzione. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 04:15 PM

YOu know the beuty of the modern world? I can be ignorant in multiple languages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 06:11 PM

Or as we used to say (with spelling corrections):

너는 현대 사회의 아름다움을 있있다? 나는 다각 언어안에 무지할 수 있는다.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 06:35 PM

I think you lot are just making it up as you're going along, which we can all manage in a sufficiently verbose fashion without having to resort to French. Do you know what you can catch doing that just the once?

Now stop it, for your own good. You don't live next to them...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 07:05 PM

The correct translation, allowing for idiom-loss between tongues (which is painful especially when wearing braces) is:

"Fuckin' A, old buddy! I had no idea you spoke French!! Bloody marvelous!"

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 11:11 PM

Or to put it another way, "Fuckin ' а, старый buddy! Я не имел никакую идею, котор вы поговорили франчуза!! Кровопролитные дивные!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 11:35 PM

I'm not making it up. Rapaire is making it up. Just ask him -- he's the solipsist in the family!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 11:38 PM

Actually, I do live next to them. Bill and Doris French own the place just West of mine. Nice folks. Always good for a beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 10:15 AM

What -- they didn't change their name to Bill and Doris Freedom? Damn commies -- liberal pinko faggot bastards!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 10:15 AM

He has an answer for everything, doesn't he?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 10:25 AM

He's just following our foolish fearless leader's example.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 10:26 AM

a true son of the MOAB


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 12:00 PM

I hereby nominate George W. Bush and Richard Cheney, along with every member of Congress, to be honorary MOABites (pending successful completion of a six year probationary period).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 12:20 PM

...during which they may communicate only in writing, and may not discuss matters mentioned on MOAB with any non-MOABite, and during which period they may not post to MOAB.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 01:10 PM

I accept Amos's amendment to my motion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 01:12 PM

all those in fervor raise your left leg, hop on your right leg sratch your nose while patting your tummy and scream "NAY!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 03:07 PM

Mom, what are you doing down there, hiding under the Lurker's Registry thread? Tsk, tsk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 03:29 PM

The vote was unanimatedanimous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 06:23 PM

This was a headline just now on the CNN website:

Leahy wants FBI to help corrupt Iraqi police force

Heck, I thought they were doing pretty well on their own!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 07:17 PM

The copywriters police, with their special punctuation squad will swoop into action. They estimate it will take roughly 19 billion years to disambiguate the internet, and the rest of the universe to make sense of MOAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rt. Honorable J. St.J. Smythe-Rugwright IV
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 10:40 PM

May I assume that I have the honour of addressing His Royal Highness Prince Philip, The Duke of Edinburgh and Consort of Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith?

I have?

Perhaps then you might tell me how Liz iz?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 11:26 PM

You may not, sir. You have been profoundly beguiled, misled, fooled and outfoxed by some rapscallion, knave, bounder or cad, although I have no idea who it may be.

However, we'll be glad to listen to you ruminate if you want. It cud be interesting.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 08:31 AM

Did Phil drop by?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rt. Honorable J. St.J. Smythe-Rugwright IV
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:04 AM

Well, chaps, and I assume that you are all chaps for no lady would write something here, I had thought that I recognized "Phil the Pill" (as we called him in school). I see that I had mistaken one of you for him and for that I apologise most profusely indeed. He would regale us with stories of his amorous adventures and would quite keep the Common Room in stitches. His story of his outing with two sheep, a crofter's daughter, and a flock of geese, in which his activities were interrupted by both the crofter and a very large bull mastiff, is quite droll and classic. Some of his stories about the highjinks he and Liz did in the early years of their wedded bliss are also quite humourous -- the one about him hiding in the suit of armour and Liz inspecting the suits for "Sir Lotta Lance" leaves one quite breathless with laughter.

Of course, loyalty and the qualities of a gentleman prevent me from repeating any them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:15 AM

I beg your pardon sir! The Daughters of MOAB are indeed ladies in the true sense of the word.

And it would serve you right if we let them call you out for your comment.

But it might upset MOM - so we will try to prevent them from acting on their moral outrage at your boorish behavior.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:29 AM

Hear,hear, MM!! Such aspersions from the uninitiated do not bode well for the future of the Saxon angle in MOAB, I must say!! He's lucky you have a firm grip on the wenches; if you were to let them out, they'd tear his testicles right out of his mouth!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:41 AM

Heck Amos, I'm trusting in their innate courtesy to restrain them - perhaps with a little help from MOM.

Do I look stupid enough to actually try and stop them if they want to shred this guy?

DON'T ANSWER THAT!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 10:40 AM

This one is a pimple on someone's arse and it isn't worth the trouble to pop it.

Ewwww.

Anyway. The blades are rarely drawn, and then for different reasons, usually infrequent snide visitors whose names will remain unspoken but whose initials are Martin Gibson and Bearded Bruce.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 10:43 AM

I should bury that remark, I don't want to call out the stinkers by saying their names or initials.

Robert Frost is a good foil to that kind of attention:

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 03:30 PM

Ode to Oxytocin



?To be with those I like is enough,
To stop in company with the rest at evening is enough,
To be surrounded by beautiful, curious, breathing, laughing flesh is enough?
I do not ask any more delight, I swim in it as in the sea?
All things please the soul, but these things please the soul well.


(LInes compliments of W. WHitman, New York)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 06:12 PM

My, but this has been an interesting day! We started by opening at 9 a.m., as usual, and closing it at 9:05 a.m. Then we re-opened about an hour later and have been open ever since, even though we'll close at 9 p.m. as usual. And for the first time is simply ages we had all of the computers, lights, and everything turned off.

It's a good thing it was taken care of before it exploded!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 08:02 PM

I tried to look up what that exciting event might have been by visiting the Idaho State Journal online, but it didn't offer much, news or anything else. Looks like an online presence isn't a high priority of theirs.

So what was it that didn't blow up (specific, not the world in general!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 08:08 PM

Ask for details from Rapaire? Even, dare it be said, a straight answer? Nay, test not thy luck in folly, dear lady.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:02 PM

The switch-thingie on the power pole just outside the employees' entrance. It was broken, it was raining, and it was snapcracklepopping like crazy from the water dripping inside. The power company people said that it could have exploded at any time -- damaging the pole and the Library building, the Library's contents and computers, and incidentally my car. It also would have shut off power to about half the Old Town area.

Speaking of explosives, the cops arrested a guy yesterday who violated his probation by bringing an explosive device (CO2 cylinder filled with gunpowder and fused) on his visit to his probation officer.

Probably the brother of the guy who walked up the the West Entrance this morning, read the sign the we were closed for electrical repairs, and then walked around and tried to get in the East Entrance. You know, just because the place is closed on ONE side....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 12:28 AM

They grow a strange hard breed in Pocatello
Not your ordinary, soft-in-the-middle fellow.
They got bombers with green hair, and teeth of yellow
And even the librarian isn't exackerly mellow.

Tom "Packer" Fudge
Poet Laureate, East Wing
Idaho State Penitentiaru


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 10:45 AM

Scientists Forced to Rethink Solar System

Scientists used to think that the formation of the solar system was a fairly orderly affair. They were wrong. The analysis of comet dust collected by Stardust shows that things were much more chaotic 4.5 billion years ago.

There is something comforting about a theory. A good one, like Albert Einstein's theory of relativity, imposes order on a series of seemingly unrelated observations. A bad one, though, imposes order where there is none -- and that seems to be the situation now facing planetary scientists.

Material collected from the tail of the Wild 2 comet in 2004 by NASA's Stardust spacecraft has now been exhaustively examined. The results, published in Friday's issue of the journal Science, show that the formation of our solar system may not have been quite as orderly as researchers thought. The prevailing assumption had been that comets were made of space dust from outside the solar system. But scientists also found tiny bits of material forged in the ultra-hot inner solar system among the collected particles.

"It was extremely exciting," University of Washington astronomer Donald Brownlee, who headed up the research team which published in Science, told Reuters. "We expected the comet to be largely made out of interstellar grains, materials that formed before the solar system formed and were never really affected much by the solar system."

In other words, the primordial cloud of material, which 4.5 billion years ago became Mars, Earth, Jupiter and Neptune, was much less settled than first thought. Somehow, material created in the extreme temperatures near the sun was catapulted into the outer reaches of the solar system where the comets formed. Among the tiny granules collected by Stardust -- dust particles smaller than a grain of sand -- were bits of calcium aluminum, which is among the oldest matter in the solar system, and magnesium olivine, the greenish compound found in the sand of some beaches in Hawaii.

"You were transporting material over really big distances," Phil Bland, a scientist from Imperial College in London who was also involved in the research, told Reuters. "So that's kind of wacky for us planetary scientists."

(From Spiegel magazine)



I am waiting for an article headed "Solar System forced to rethink view of Scientists".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 10:49 AM

d*mmit - Gluon's been vacationing in Hawaii again! You know how thjat duckdog likes to roll on the beqches then go into the Oort Cloud to shake off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 12:31 PM

Was there any of that dust that Peter Pan sprinkled over Wendy, John, and Michael? Or are the scientists keeping that for themselves? And to find magnesium ovaltine in the dust demonstrates that the solar system can't be as old as they think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 12:33 PM

*THAT* was pixie dust, not comet dust!

And your right - the presence of Ovaltine means the dust cannot be older then 1865 when it was invented.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 12:37 PM

" calcium aluminum, which is among the oldest matter in the solar system"


Umm....where's the Ovaltine in that? (For some reason I was never impressed with Ovaltine -- the advertisements made me believe its purpose was to increase fertility in teenage girls, a development I opposed on principle.)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 12:45 PM

given the size of CAI's I suspect light pressure over a few million years could drift them out into the oort cloud. Not to mention that comets swing in closer to the center of the system and could pick some up them....Why are scientists so surprised?

Haven't they ever dropped a bag of flour and found out how far the d*mn stuff can spread?


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